Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.
This is my Christmas Gift for MelloJason, as part of the gift exchange on Chit Chat on Author's Corner. The prompts I was given were: Wizards in Winter (Trans Siberian Orchestra), snow, blizzard, snowed in for Christmas. My pairing is Spencer and Derek.
This chapter brings in the last of the prompts. All four done!
. . .
Derek hated the sense of tension that was building between them. Their were few people Derek trusted in this world, outside of his family, and Spencer was one of those few. He viewed him as his kid brother; totally annoying at times, open to be teased at every opportunity, but God help anyone else that treated Spence in that way. Derek's protection of Spencer was all incompassing and right now he knew something was bothering his friend. He settled back and watched as Spencer stared deep into the fire, his thoughts blatantly far away from the log structure they currently occupied. Derek knew he was guilty of teasing the younger agent, and maybe it was time he stopped, but Spencer had grown up to give as good as he got. He hadn't lost his innocence but he wasn't the green rookie Derek had taken under his wing just over seven years ago. Spencer had changed, especially in the last twelve months, but under the surface his was still as vulnerable as ever.
"Were you going home for Christmas?" Derek asked quietly.
Spencer let out a little huff, before nodding his head; "If you mean being in my home town, yeah, but as for home I haven't been back there since . . ."
Derek took note of the way his voice trailed off. All the years they had know each other they had talked about a lot of things, but Derek was suddenly starkly aware that they had never really spoken about the things that matter most to them – their families.
Sure they could discuss cases and even the impact certain people had on them. Spencer had listened about Ellie long after Emily had got fed up. He had finally let Derek in on the headaches and even allowed him to accompany him to several of the appointments. But everything that they had built was based on shared experiences, it had no spoken foundation in their past.
Occasionally they had exchanged snippets of information, Derek would never forget the revelation Spencer had made about what had happened on the football field when he was twelve, but that was all it ever was, brief pieces of information that always seemed to have some pertinence to the case they were involved in. Something that gave the other enough information to have a clue of where the other was coming from, however neither ever pushed to delve further into the past.
"Mom wouldn't move out of our home, no matter what. I offered to help her out with a new house, but she wouldn't hear of it," Derek blurted out, hoping that opening up about his own family may lead Spencer to do the same, "She said that it had been our family home, and where else were we to return to when we needed it but our family home. She keeps my room just as it was when I was a kid, at first it use to annoy me, but as I've grown older I have found comfort in all the crap she has stored in their."
Spencer's eyes narrowed as he turned to face Derek.
Derek leaned forward topping up the glasses.
"I thought she was just being stubborn," Derek continued, "until now. Now I realise how much I miss not being able to go home."
"It is just bricks and mortar," Spencer said matter of fact.
"You really believe that?" Derek eyebrows rose as he observed his reactions.
Spencer shrugged, trying to hide the emotion from his actions, aware the expert profiler was watching him.
"I don't know about you but our house if full of memories. Okay plenty of them are harsh and some I definitely don't want to be reminded of, but the flipside is that are loads of things that make me smile. The football trophies that Mom insists on cleaning and displaying, yeah they remind me of him, but they also remind me of my Mom's pride each time I recieved one. That is what changes the house into a home."
Spencer looked at Derek, he was acutely aware that he had never heard Derek speak so openly, not about the past. He tried to understand what had brought on this sudden conversation, was Derek really missing being at home that much?
"The house Mom and I lived in, it wasn't important. Mom was what was important. I can have the same thoughts and feelings with her wherever we are."
Derek thought about what he said for a moment. It was such a contrast to his feelings about the past, his family was one big package, the people and the places. Spencer had had to give that all up when he turned eighteen and made the decision to get the help for his Mom that she needed. Derek shook his head, he couldn't imagine what making a decision like that did to a person.
"Do you get to spent Christmas in with your Mom, or do you have to check into a hotel?"
"I always check into a hotel nearby, for when things get too much for Mom," Spencer's gaze returned to the fire. "Sometimes it's best to walk away and come back later."
Derek couldn't begin to imagine what the turbulence of life with a Schizophrenic must be like. Derek's mom was his stability - she was always there - even when he couldn't tell her what was bothering him. He knew she was there and that had been enough to give him the strength he had needed. Spencer hadn't had that, he had been the strength. Complete role reversal. Derek's family supported him, Spencer had supported his family from such a young age.
Derek could draw up quick similarities between their lives. The lack of a father figure for many years, falling fate to their own vulnerabilities, but honestly their lives had been worlds apart.
Derek reached out to place a hand protectively on Spencer's shoulder, "Did you get chance to ring and say you wouldn't be coming?"
Spencer shook his head.
Squeezing the slight shoulder lightly Derek paused, hoping his actions reassured his friends more than his words did.
"I'm sure she'll understand, and Hotch will make sure we get to make up the time in the New Year."
"Yeah, but that won't be Christmas, it will just be another visit," Spencer countered, shaking the hand from his shoulder.
Derek sighed deeply; he knew what Spencer was saying. Okay his mom would pull out the stops, decorations and all, recreating Christmas for him. Spencer wouldn't get that; it would just be another day.
Derek rose, leaving the genius with his thoughts.
As he wandered around the cabin an idea stuck him, Derek gathered some things together from various cupboards and rooms. Returning to the lounge Derek knelt down by the fire.
Spencer looked at him quizzically.
Derek smiled as he realised he had Spencer's attention.
"Okay Kid, the way I see it is we have to make the best of this Christmas. I admit I hadn't planned on spending it with you, but it could be worse; I could be stuck out here with Hotch. So here's the plan: we are fast approaching midnight; we both have what's left of the night to make a present to open tomorrow morning!"
"Are you serious?" Spencer squeaked.
Derek nodded.
"Look, someone went to a hell of an effort to dress up this place before they decided to leave; the least we can do is bring our own Christmas spirit, so" Derek reached out to switch on the radio he had found, "this is Christmas."
Derek then busied himself with the card and bits he'd found in what was obviously one of the children's rooms.
Spencer watched as he listened to the instrumental music coming from the radio. Though popular music had never been an interest of his he knew the off- beat track 'Wizard In Winter' from the Trans Siberian Orchestra. He found it much more soothing then the average annual pop offerings. Soon some of the tension had started to lift, relaxing slightly Spence reached forward for some paper and a pencil.