A/N: Wow, thanks for all the reviews and alerts. I'm glad some people choked on samwiches, I'm glad I am not the only one being lonely, I agree on Jade being a boss! Hells yeah. And OMG! My first 12 Blackguard points! Gotta collect 'em all! Anyway, I gave you the title for this chapter, so I am sure there are plenty of people who created their own plots, let's see if I live up to your expectations!
Kiss Me Goodbye.
There's two things I could have done. One, stay in my office and wait for Tori to leave, so I could still give her that ride home I promised I'd give her. Two, go home with the speed of light to avoid confrontation and possibly buy donuts on my way over. Of course, needless to say, I did the second. Minus the donuts, I haven't bought those. Yet. But really, before you start, what would you have done? Okay, don't answer that. I know I shouldn't have kissed her. But really, then again, what would you have done? That dress, that hair, that face, those eyes, those lips. Oh, those lips. Seriously, you can't tell me you wouldn't have kissed her. Those eyes were just-
Wait. Am I talking to myself in third person? I am going absolutely insane. If I take a left here I can check myself into the hospital between now and ten minutes. Okay, Jade, calm down. You're over reacting. Take a deep breath. Sometimes I listen to myself, which is always the right thing to do. Because I am always right. Like that time I told myself not to kiss her, but what did I do? Yup, I kissed her! And strangely I regret nothing. Except maybe that I threw away every chance on a friendship Tori and I had. But that wasn't going to work anyway; sooner or later I still would've kissed her. But can you blame me?
And then before I know it, I turn left – not towards the hospital – and I enter the underground garage of my apartment building. Slowly I make my way to the elevator, pressing the button for the seventh floor as I step in and while enjoying - not! - the lousy and way too cliché elevator music, I wonder what Andre's thinking, what Michael's thinking, but mostly what Tori's thinking. I wonder if she brought her hands up to touch her still tingling lips like I did, I wonder if she closed her eyes for a brief second to feel it again, like I did. I wonder if she's mad, if she'll ever forgive me. I wonder why, in that brief second that I looked into her soul, she didn't stop me. She could've stopped me, but instead she grabbed my hand, kissed me back.
I wonder how long I've been standing in front of my door, because I don't remember getting off the elevator, I don't remember walking the hall. I shrug it all off for a moment, opening the door and trying to think about other stuff. About random, irrelevant stuff. Like, I don't know, guitars? Piano's? Tori had a piano, I wonder what happened to that. Seriously, Jade?
This is simply pathetic, new tactics. Alcohol! Taking off my jacket, I walk into my kitchen, dropping the jacket on a chair. From one cupboard I grab a glass, from the other I grab the whiskey. Ever since my 21st birthday, Kent buys me a bottle of whiskey every year. I never drink it – I'm not the whiskey type – I usually give it back to him for his birthday along with a really good bottle of wine. He still hasn't figured out it's his own whiskey he's accepting. I fill a quarter of the glass and just as I'm about to bring it to my lips, there's a knock at my door. It's barely 2 P.M. and I'm not expecting anyone – because I'm supposed to be at work – so I truly wonder who it is. On my way to the door I take a small sip from the sweet liquor; it's okay, but my face still cringes a little as it burns down my throat. By the end of the night I'll like it, probably a little bit too much. I open the door and if it wouldn't have been for steel nerves, I would've dropped the glass.
"What? No donuts?" I ask as I turn around to let her in, she closes the door, following me. I have to admit, I didn't expect her to come here right away, barely ten minutes after me. She huffs as she grabs the glass from my hand and sets it on the kitchen counter.
"I am not the one who's supposed to bring donuts."
"Well, I don't have any. I didn't expect you showing up here just ten minutes after myself." I leave the glass on the counter as I make my way to sit on my couch.
"Is this how you deal with feelings? Drinking and shutting me out?" She bangs the glass on the counter as she says the former, she goes to stand in front of me, arms crossed, as she says the latter.
"Well, I can't do the drinking since I'm sure you'll keep taking my glass." Old Jade is starting to return, I can feel it. Sharp comments purely designed to cut through her, to leave her bleeding. She doesn't give me a choice. I haven't had any time to think this through, to explain everything.
"You are unbelievable! And to think I thought you had changed!"
"Well, you clearly thought wrong. Surprise, surprise." That is not true, I did change. I know it, she knows it. But it feels like I have two personalities, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and I can't help which one I am.
She shakes her head, probably in disbelief, as she walks around the couch, her back facing me now. I take a second before I stand up, looking at her. Her left hand is on her hip, her right massaging her temple, and all the while she shakes her head.
"Did you come here to shake your head or did you actually want to say something?" She abruptly turns around, pointing an angry finger at me.
"You... You just... Argh, you just kissed me." That's it. That's all she says as she throws her hands up.
"You're stating the obvious, Vega. In case you forgot, I was there."
"And now you're acting as if it's nothing?" I can see the hurt in her eyes, I can see her heart breaking again. And again it's my fault, but this time I can't walk away and knowing her, she won't either. I don't even want to walk away, I am too shut off. I simply don't care at this point.
"That's because it was nothing. I was just showing Mike how to do his job." She shakes her head again – she'll get a fracture if she keeps doing that – and a single tear is traveling down her cheek.
"Don't do this, Jade. Don't pretend you didn't feel it. The tingle in your lips," she's taking a step closer, "the butterflies in your stomach," another step, "don't pretend you didn't feel it." She's right in front me now, our noses almost touching. I can't help but look at her lips, just briefly, because then I swallow.
"I didn't." It was meant to be strong, invincible, instead it comes out as a broken whisper. She closes her eyes as she shakes her head once and then her lips are on mine again. A simple brush before she pulls back, her forehead resting against mine, her hands finding their way onto my cheeks.
"I know you did, Jade. I know you're not like this." She's whispering so softly, so pure. And then she kisses me again, harder this time, longer. And I respond, how could I not? She pulls away too soon again and I open my eyes to look at her. She smiles and I genuinely smile back; old Jade gone, killed with a simple kiss. Now my hands come to rest on her hips and she brings our lips together for the third time. Flames erupting in my entire body as she runs her tongue over my lip and I never thought she'd be the one to take the lead. But she is and I let her, I let her guide me. I let her lead. I let her win the battle our tongues are fighting. I let her explore. And then it is I who pulls away. Our foreheads once again resting against each other, my eyes still closed.
"I can't, Tori." I'm afraid to break whatever spell was cast upon us, so I whisper.
"I can't." She sighs. Just that, she doesn't speak, she doesn't pull away. She just sighs for now. And then she holds my head up, making me look at her. Whatever she is going to ask me, she will only accept the truth.
"Will you tell me? When you can?" After a while, I nod and she does too. She mouths an 'okay ', smiles briefly and then she's kissing me one last time before she turns around and leaves. And I touch my lips again, I close my eyes to feel it again. And I truly hope that one day I really, honestly can.
A/N: OMG! Tori did what now? That girl's got some balls... Ovaries actually. Oh, you're right, thanks. That girl's got some steel ovaries! And Jade is totally in De Nial. You mean denial, she is not in a river in Egypt. What, are you a smart ass or something? Wanna fight?