The greatest comfort in her life was something that she couldn't understand—or control.
His hair—his long, downy raven hair—was so soft between her fingers. It gently teased her arms, making goosebumps raise all across her skin. His smell of maple, spices, and cinnamon drifted up to her nose, reminding her of long, heated skirmishes and of soft, cold nights like tonight. Delicate moonlight shone down from the window near the right of the bed, illuminating the red sheet she had gently placed over the two of them, and, especially, the beautiful pale figure resting on her. He was gently curled up into her arms, defenseless and innocent as a baby. Seeing him in this state, so helpless and weak, just made her want to cry. He was always so strong, so resilient, so resistant to change. Where she was soft and changing, he was tough and sturdy; where she was stubborn, he was flexible. She could never understand him, never control him, and that was what she loved the most.
But, under the stress of running his own country and watching over his people and halting every rebel force and leaving on peace-making trips, Zuko broke. She was sure that if it was her, she would have been able to run circles around Zuko's progress and take it better than he was. But, as much as she would adore gloating (very loudly) in his face, he needed support now more than competition. And that is the thing that she would give him.
She found, only recently on pure serendipity, that holding Zuko in her arms allowed him to ease into a deeper sleep than before. She didn't know why it worked, but she didn't want to question. A small, fragile truce had formed between them, and she would not break it, even if her life counted on it. She just accepted it as it was and didn't wonder.
Though, she mused, this has often ended her up into many uncomfortable positions that left her sore in the morning. Right now, her spine was painfully pressed and twisted against the headboard. It was going to take hours tomorrow trying to soothe and ease her nerves back into working condition even with her own healing, not to mention how tired she was going to be afterward. But, if some pain and tiredness was all it took for Zuko to rest surely at night, it was worth it.
Zuko's arms wrapped around her waist gently tightened and pulled her closer to him. Katara was dragged back from her thoughts to adjust into a comfortable position, and to gaze down at Zuko, his face now illuminated by the pale moonlight. Gods, he was so handsome. His face, while he was awake, was always so stoic and serious; she thought it was picturesque and inscrutable, which only tempted her to anger him and try and break past his defenses. And, whenever he smiled on the delightful, but rare occasion, her heart just felt like it wanted to sing in happiness—
She stopped herself right there.
She could not be thinking about this! She should notbe thinking about this. Zuko had made it absolutely and clearly precise that he was her friend and only her friend. Nothing else. Too many nations—too many people—too many emotions rode on their relationship. She wasn't willing to tempt other people's disgust and hate until she had a sturdier hand in the world and her life. Nor had she completely understood her feelings for Zuko, or how they would fit into her life. Trying to throw it all into her life, morphing, moulding it to fit would be nearly impossible.
But, this—this much is okay. Holding him close to me and letting him get sleep is what he needs, not what I want. I want nothing more than to be needed by him. Besides, he has his duties to his country, and I to mine. Our lives cannot cross any more than they already are. If other emotions beyond our friendship get involved, we will just complicate things. This much is okay.
Oh, but she loved him.
She gently kissed his forehead and cradled his head next to hers, holding him even closer. Yue was the only other one that knew of her love, and neither of them would tell. She would have until Yue's departure to allow herself to show her love that illuminated her heart. Once Agni dominated the sky, however, she would have become Katara, Zuko's best friend. As long as he stayed happy, she wouldn't mind acting for him.
She convinced herself this much was okay. This—this was okay.
As she finally fell asleep, the sun's rays slowly crept up the dark wooden floors, shining happily down on the two held tightly in a loving embrace.
A/N: I decided to finally rewrite this sucker. I finally got around to it, while being without internet for at least two weeks, and found that I like this one much better. There's definitely something great in looking back over your words and making them more eloquently state what you wanted to say before. Though, it's often a pain.
I hope you enjoy! Read and Review!
Disclaimer: I don't own A:TLA or Zutara. :P
~Redpinkandwhite