A/N: Huge thank you goes to Jennyrated Anomaly for going back and reviewing every single chapter thus far. Thanks also to PhoenixWytch for reviewing Peculiarities.

This is also an old, old fic (from 2007!) which I've just resurrected. So I apologise if it's a little sub-standard. However, it was nearly finished when I deserted it and I actually didn't mind it, hence my digging it out yesterday and finally finishing it.

x tromana

Title: In This Life
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Martha, Ten, Romana II
Spoilers: None
Summary: Martha's growth before, during and just after her time with the Doctor.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
Author's notes: Resurrected old fic. Hooray! Song: Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid. Title and occasional lyrics from In This Life by Delta Goodrem.

In This Life

I was nurtured, I was sheltered
I was curious and young

"Letita Jones, do not put that toy in Martha's cot!"

Francine grabbed the crawling baby before she could disturb the younger, sleeping child. Replacing Tish on the ground in her playpen, a sufficient barrier between her and Martha, she allowed herself to breathe. That was until seconds after feeling the floor beneath her, Tish decided to start wailing in despair, which in turn, started Martha crying. Once more, she glanced despairingly at her husband, hoping against hope for some help.

He was asleep. Again. It didn't matter that his two youngest children were bawling their eyes out; Clive's eyes remained tightly shut. The man could sleep through World War III if he really had to.

With a sigh, she scooped up Martha and placed her lovingly against her shoulder. As she cooed and attempted to rock her baby back to sleep, Francine attempted to distract Tish with a stuffed bear. Eventually, both girls settled and Francine sighed in relief as she replaced her youngest daughter back in her cot.

"What am I to do with your daddy, hey girls?" she murmured quietly before heading to the kitchen for a much needed cup of tea.

xxx

"Martha Jones, do not put that toy in Leo's cot!"

As she placed Martha down away from the sleeping Leo, and spotting a bottom lip wobbling, Francine enveloped her younger daughter into a hug. Letting go of her, Francine encouraged the toddler to go and play with Tish. However, the second her back was turned, Martha was trying desperately to 'share' her toys with her brother once more.

"I said no, Martha." Francine sighed, pulling her away again. "Leo's only a baby, it could hurt him."

Martha nodded in comprehension but looked past her mother and towards the opening door, through which her father appeared.

"Daddy!" she grinned as she soared towards the ceiling.

"Ever get that sense of déjà vu, Clive?"

"What's she done now?" Clive grinned, still tickling Martha.

"Just… oh never mind," Francine replied, not having the energy to explain herself.

xxx

I was searching for that something
Trying to find it on the run
Oh and just when I stopped looking
I saw just how far I'd come…

"My friend Rose, she'd know just what to say right now. Still, can't be helped. You're a novice. Anyway, home tomorrow."

"Great." (The Shakespeare Code)

Just seconds earlier she'd been staring into his eyes, remaining quiet, giving him time to think. She was still adjusting to the concept of time travel, surely he could give her that? His eyes hadn't given anything away, and she couldn't even be sure if he was really acknowledging her presence. Still, like he said, home tomorrow. And the most confusing, irritating, wonderful man she'd ever known, however briefly, would be slipping through her fingers.

She couldn't, wouldn't let that happen.

This was the chance of a lifetime and she wasn't about to let it slip through her fingers.

xxx

"Doctor!"

"I'll save you!"

"I can't hear you"

"I'll save you!" (42)

She tapped frantically at the window, whatever Riley said, the Doctor would find a way. He always did. When she was trapped in the fast lane in New, New York, with the Daleks in the sewers in Old New York, cornered by Professor Lazarus in Southwark Cathedral, he had always saved her. That was before he'd even agreed to allow her to come along 'full time' so to speak. There was no need to give up hope.

He'd been through so much loss though, what would she be against all of that? His people, his planet and other companions, including Rose. Yes, she could be sure that he'd save her, but would it be because she was Martha Jones, or just because he really couldn't bear to lose anyone else right now? As he'd said to Laszlo, too many people had died. Perhaps he just didn't want her to become another faceless person, lost in the midst of time?

xxx

"I wish you'd come back." (Human Nature)

And oh how she did. It was only as John Smith when she realised that at least the Doctor recognised her as being more of somewhat as an equal than being pretty much worthless. At least with the Doctor she felt somewhat safe and secure and like there was hope for everyone. Without him, with Smith, she felt lonelier than ever; even Jenny, a sweet girl and a friend in a hideous time couldn't compare to living without the Doctor.

Living with the Doctor and him not noticing you for who you are was far more pleasant than living with someone who looked identical to him and didn't look at you at all, she concluded.

xxx

"That's it Ros… Martha!"

Martha nodded and just continued enticing the creature towards her so the Doctor could trap it. It wasn't the first time he'd nearly called her Rose. And it probably wouldn't be the last time either.

And seconds later, she awoke in a cold sweat. Maybe it was something to do with walking the earth yet sheer isolation from the people that altered memories somehow. The Doctor had never actually nearly called her Rose. Romana (whoever that was), once, when comparing the Weeping Angels to a species known as the Ogri; but never Rose. Sleep was hard to come by as it was, never mind being haunted by a frightfully inaccurate incarnation of the Doctor. It was that precious distraction that led to escaping Japan by the skin of her teeth, and it wasn't getting any easier. Still, the message was slowly seeping through and people were willing to believe her. Only now, some wanted to believe in her more than her message…

xxx

"His name is the Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times, and you never even knew he was there. He never stops, he never strays, he never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him, I know him. I love him." (Last Of The Time Lords)

As Martha spoke to the huddled mass, she spoke from the heart, as she always did. Martha Jones was their legend, the one they believed in, so she could only hope what she said would be taken into their hearts. She never felt like much of a legend, quaking with fear as she was smuggled across the Radiation Pits of Europe or escaping the burning of Japan by the skin of her teeth. She couldn't do the Doctor's bidding without them, couldn't save the world as they so desperately needed her to do so. The Doctor was her legend, the one she believed in, the one that had kept her going. And she was never going to stop believing in him.

xxx

I have faltered, I have stumbled
I have found my feet again
I've been angry and I've been shaken
Found a new place to begin

She spun on her heels. But she could have sworn that she had heard…

No. She was just imagining things. It was just blind hoping, wishing that the Doctor would have dropped by, just to say hello, to see how things were going. Or for a cup of tea as there was nothing like it anywhere else in the Universe.

It was just wishful thinking.

Or was it? Did she really want to go running off with the Doctor again?

The tinny strains of Do They Know It's Christmas filled the market square. Martha smiled briefly. Her family deserved a happy Christmas, after everything they'd been through. She spotted the way her parents and Tish reacted occasionally. A little stilted, a little uncomfortable. Leo looked on despairingly, not understanding how or why his parents had gotten back together, never mind the fact they looked like they had aged a decade in a week.

She wanted to explain it to him, but had a feeling he would want to send her off to a funny farm if she did.

Martha was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she barely noticed a blonde woman run into her.

"I'm sorry," the woman muttered in response, "actually, I'm in need of some assistance."

"Excuse me?"

"Help, aid…"

"I know what assistance means."

"That's a start."

"Tell me, do you believe in life on other planets?"

"I don't."

"Oh… well thanks…"

"I know there's life out there."

The woman broke out into a broad smile.

"Good. I'm Romana. And there's a Yeti running loose in South London. Of course everyone believes it's just a bear escaped from the zoo but…"

"What are we waiting for then?"

"You're not by any chance looking for a change of career, are you? Or for the trip of a lifetime?"

Martha had been there before. She had fallen head over heels in love with a strange, alien man, only to realise he was never going to feel the same way again. Now, she had a date with Tom Milligan in two days' time and not even the Doctor could drag her away. Never mind a strange blonde woman, who could quite easily be the same species as the Doctor, if he hadn't been so insistent that he and… and… the Master had been the last of their kind.

"I'll help you this time around, but afterwards, I want to go straight home. I've had more than enough adventure to last me a lifetime."

Romana nodded, acceptingly. She seemed a little disappointed that Martha had vetoed the idea of accompanying her permanently but didn't push it. It was almost as if she…

"You know the Doctor, don't you?"

"I do," Martha muttered.

"No wonder you don't want to leave. Anyway. Shall we?"

end