Chapter Six

Tonks wasn't sure whether she should have been incredibly shocked or incredibly relieved or incredibly confused. What she was feeling at that moment as she stepped out into the warm sunshine was an odd mixture of all three.

Up until that point, as horrible as the idea was, to Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody had seemed almost like a machine, built for one purpose and one purpose alone: to rid the world of Dark wizards. She felt a pang of guilt as she recalled what Mad-Eye had told her: To most of wizarding Britain, I'm a paranoid nutcase. Tonks bowed her head in shame. She'd done the very same thing which many dozens of people had done. She'd totally misjudged her mentor. She realised now that despite how callously he treated his trainees, he only wanted to make them the best Aurors, the best witches and wizards, and the best people they could possibly be. He couldn't do that by wrapping them in cotton wool and treating them like small children. He had to be tough on them. We would never survive five minutes in a duel with a Death Eater without Moody's 'constant vigilance' mantra, Tonks laughed inwardly. He seriously does know his stuff. I need to get a grip on myself and grow up. I acted like I was eleven, going to my first ever Hogwarts detention.

Although it seemed that Tonks had ended up sorting out one mess without adverse effects, she'd just created another one in its wake. She knew she'd have to face her parents sooner or later, although she now wasn't so sure about quitting her Auror training. She had absolutely no idea what she'd say to them now, nor how they'd react. She collapsed onto the bench in a Muggle bus shelter, sighing. What in the name of Merlin was she supposed to do now? She realised, though, that sitting in a bus shelter pondering this was a decidedly bad idea. Somewhat reluctantly, Tonks got up and Apparated back to her parents' house. A moment later, she opened the heavy wooden front door, pausing in the entrance before making her way to the loungeroom.

Her father looked up sharply from the newspaper he was reading. Upon seeing his daughter, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Dora," he said. "We weren't expecting you back until dinnertime."

Tonks collapsed onto the leather couch beside her father. "I know. Where's mum?"

"She's outside tending to the garden. Why?"

"I need to talk to both of you. I'll go get her." Not giving Ted a chance to reply, Tonks went out to the garden.

Andromeda looked just as surprised to see Tonks, but did not argue as she followed Tonks back to the lounge. As her mother sat down next to Ted, Tonks took a deep breath.

"So what is it that's wrong?" Andromeda asked, concern laced in her voice.

"Nothing's 'wrong' per se," replied Tonks. "It's just that Auror training isn't everything I thought it would be." Seeing Ted opening his mouth to speak, Tonks held up a hand. "And please just hear me out first before you say anything."

Andromeda and Ted simultaneously gave each other concerned looks, but both nodded uncertainly.

Tonks was silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "Don't freak out, guys, but this morning I woke up and I was going to quit Auror training. You see, I'd always planned to hide my morphing… abilities until I thought my classmates wouldn't be bothered about it. But that kind of went out the window on day two. I accidentally changed my hair in reaction to something someone said. Everyone was all "oh, you're a Metamorphmagus?" and I just felt like they weren't looking at Tonks the Auror trainee, but Tonks the Metamorphmagus.

"On top of that, the stuff Mad-Eye's asking us to do is getting harder and harder. I just wasn't taught half the basic stuff properly at Hogwarts, so I'm really behind. He said that if we didn't have the basics mastered, we'd be screwed, basically, and he wasn't kidding. So now I'm really stressed out about everything.

"I thought about all this a lot. I'd made the decision that I was going to quit this morning. I went over to the Ministry to let Mad-Eye know, so I told him basically what I've just told you.

"He said that he'd had similar problems back when he was a trainee. He told me that I shouldn't let anyone else's opinions get in my way, and that he'd help me if I needed it. He wants me to keep going with it. He's given me until Monday to decide what I want to do. I was really sure this morning that I wanted to give up, but now I'm not so sure."

Andromeda looked stunned. "Oh, Dora," she said. "Why didn't you tell us any of this earlier?"

Tonks looked down at her lap, where she was wringing her hands. "I didn't want to worry you," she said softly.

Ted raised his eyebrows. "You didn't want to worry us? We did a fair bit of worrying anyway. It was like you'd had a personality transplant. We were half-expecting that someone had Imperiused you," he joked.

Tonks shook her head ruefully. "Well, I can assure that I am actually me."

Ted's expression grew serious. "The point is, Dora, that you can come to is with anything you need. You don't have to go it alone, you know."

Tonks nodded. "I know that now. That's why I need your opinions. I don't know what to do now. I'm so confused…"

Andromeda reached out and grasped both her daughter's hands in her own. "You should do whatever feels right for you."

"But what would you do, Mum?"

"Me?" Andromeda said. "I would give it another crack. Being an Auror is going to be tough, but your dad and I believe in you, and by the sounds of it, your mentor does, too. It's just a case of you believing in yourself."

Ted nodded, smiling fondly at Tonks. "If you ask me, I think you're going to regret it if you don't continue on. The likelihood of getting this chance again isn't very high, is it?"

Tonks shook her head. "No. If you drop out, you can't get back in. You guys and Mad-Eye… well, you've made me see how silly I've been. I've been letting everyone and everything dictate how I feel and how I live. I need to make this decision for me, and only me. That's why I'm gonna keep on going with training."

Andromeda and Ted grinned. "For what it's worth, I think you've made the right decision."

For the first time that day, Tonks smiled. "Thanks, Mum, Dad." She then hugged each of her parents in turn. "And now I'm going to sleep and then maybe practise a bit."

Without another word, Tonks turned and bounded up to her room. Andromeda and Ted looked at each other in shock. Tonks hadn't tripped on anything. That Auror training must have been doing her some good.