Dear readers,
Wow. Chapter nine already. I honestly didn't think I'd actually make it this far; that the humble little oneshot which I started off with would end up as, well, this. But I've still got a ways to go until the story ends up where I want it to end. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to go about getting there, but I will eventually get there, no matter how long it takes. Figuring out your route when you're not sure how to get where you want to go is half the fun, right?
But anyhow, I've had such amazing support from you guys, my readers, even before I put this on hiatus, but now that I'm back in full force, I'm getting more encouragement than ever to continue. You guys have all been instrumental in creating motivation to continue on. The thought that people are enjoying what I'm writing is really, really inspiring. It makes me want to write more and more. But even more importantly, my heart is now in the right place.
A while back, I came across an amazing writer, HammersNStrings (you should check out his work!). I went to his profile, and he had a list of Frequently Asked Questions. One of these was 'How do you write so well?' or something similar. His answer was basically that he 'looks in his heart and writes'. I realised that that was what I needed to do. I needed to look in my own heart and write from there. I needed not to write to please everyone, but write to please myself and that would translate to people reading and appreciating and relating to my writing. I'm now actually putting little bits of myself into my characters, and I hope by reading my stories, you might get to know me a little bit as a person, and not just a fanfiction writer on a website.
So basically what I'm saying is 'thank you'. Thank you for taking the time to read the work of a random fifteen-year-old high school student/aspiring author. I cannot even accurately describe how it makes me feel when I see that I've gotten readers and reviewers. It's so beautiful. It makes me feel so blessed that I have the opportunity to share my passion with like-minded people, even if I'll never meet you face to face. It's been sort of an emotional outlet for me.
And thus comes the end of my ramblings. I know it probably sounded quite cheesy to you, but it's actually how I honestly feel. Thank you so much once again. I'm more grateful than you'll ever know.
May God bless you and be with you always.
Love,
Lyn
(The Golden Phoenix Song)
Chapter Nine
At training that day, most of Tonks's fellow trainees welcomed her back warmly and apologised for treating her badly (Tonks wondered whether one Stefan Davenport had anything to do with that). This was, of course, with the exception of Sherry, who continually shot her scathing glances from the corner of her eye. Tonks found herself constantly thinking back to the conversation she had had with Sherry earlier. What could have caused her to be so upset? However, she resolved to focus on training now, and try to speak to Sherry later.
It turned out that Tonks needed to put everything she had into the training session, which was the most intense yet. Moody had asked them to explain then demonstrate each spell which they'd learnt, then partnered them up again to duel using those spells. Tonks's revision on the weekend had turned out to be very useful. She had ended up being able to cast each spell almost perfectly, earning approving looks from Mad-Eye and admiring ones from (most of) her peers.
Several of her fellows had asked her to help them with the spells with which they were having trouble. Tonks's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as Stefan came over and asked her for help with Shield Charms, although she was soon glowing with pride, as under her instruction, Stefan had managed to cast a relatively strong Shield Charm. She went on to help her other peers with their troubles, catching Moody's eye several times as he stood in the corner of the room, observing each of his trainees. As she coached Michael Caddock in casting a Stinging Hex with extremely painful results, she threw her mentor a scathing look as he attempted to hold back his laughter.
All too soon, the session came to an end. Tonks had managed to go around to all of her fellow trainees (with the exception of Sherry, who looked at Tonks like she was a Flobberworm every time she came within ten feet of her) and help them, whilst talking, laughing and generally having the most fun in an Auror training session as she'd ever had. It seemed that any hard feelings had melted away since her return.
As everyone filed out of the room, Tonks's stomach dropped. She had promised herself that she would talk to Sherry again and find out what was wrong. Her mind made up, she followed Sherry out of the door, having to jog to catch up with her. No sooner than Tonks had fallen into step with Sherry did she stop where she was. "What do you want?" she spat.
Tonks took an involuntary step back. She hadn't expected Sherry to greet her warmly, but neither did she expect such a venomous reaction from the usually even-tempered girl.
"I just wanted to ask what upset you this morning. I didn't mean to offend you or anything."
Sherry sighed impatiently, arms crossed over her chest. "What's bothering me, Tonks, is that you're Little Miss Perfect. You've got it all: the smarts, the skills, the looks, the intelligence, the perfect family. I don't have any of that."
Tonks frowned shaking her head, hands planted on her hips. "I'm not Little Miss Perfect, Sherry. I may be smart, but that's not because of any natural smarts. I had to work for it. Same with my skills. I wasn't born with them. And I'm not actually good-looking. You forget that you're dealing with a Metamorphmagus. For all you know, I could naturally be the ugliest hag you've ever seen. And if you think I have a perfect family, you're kidding yourself."
Sherry fell silent for a moment, glaring daggers at the other witch, before saying, "At least you're not Muggleborn with a Muggle brother who suffers from cystic fibrosis! Not that you'd actually know what that is."
"I do, actually," said Tonks. "It's a lung disease that caused mucus build up in the lungs. I'm not stupid. I know what clogged lungs are going to do to a person. Apparently they've got to take all sorts of pills and have all sorts of therapy every single day to make sure they don't end up dead from blocked lungs. Even then, their life expectancy isn't very long because of it."
Sherry looked genuinely shocked. "How…?"
"My dad's Muggleborn," Tonks explained. "His aunt had it. She died at thirty-seven."
A single tear made its way down Sherry's pale face. "It's been so hard, you know," she said, her voice thick. "He's basically been the centre of my parents' attention for his entire twelve years. He was diagnosed when he was two. Ever since then, he's been on meds and Mum and Dad have had to do all sorts of therapy with him, take him to the doctors, look after him twenty-four-seven. It's so hard, Tonks!" Sherry cried as she collapsed onto the floor. "It just isn't fair."
Tonks stayed silent, rubbing the other girl's back as she sobbed. "I hate it so much! My parents have never had any time for me in twelve years. It hurts! It's always Chris this, Chris that. Everyone is always around for Chris, but never me. I know it's horrible, but I hate him sometimes. He always gets everyone's attention. They just expect me to shut up and get on with it because I'm the elder, more mature one. Let me tell you this, Tonks," she said, her eyes filled with grief. "I may be elder and more mature, but it doesn't make me need my mum and dad any less!"
Tonks did nothing but put her arms around the other girl's thin, pale frame, allowing Sherry to rest her head on her shoulder and let the tears to flow until she had no more left to shed. This, Tonks reflected darkly, was what happened when a girl was forced to be strong for far too long.