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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal
Ch 9
It had been a long day, and everyone had gathered around the sofa to hear more of the story. Ron sat in his usual spot on the couch. Everyone else was either on couches opposite him, or on the floor in front of him. He took out the scroll, and he began to read the next chapter.
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!
"I'm sorry, but does this girl even know how to speak the English language?" Dean Thomas asked.
"The sad part of it is that it really is written like that," Ron said, "it sounds like I'm incompetent,"
"How does she get through life?" Ginny asked.
"Hasn't this girl ever heard of a dictionary?" Hermione asked.
"I'm sorry, but hearing those X's all the time is really starting to get annoying," Zacharias said.
Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.
"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.
"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.
"First off, you don't call him Tom Riddle, that was a long time ago when he was normal," Terry Boot said.
"Second off, he does not give free clothes to anyone, not even to the closest death eaters," Lavender Brown said.
"Wait, how would you know that?" Pavarti asked her.
"The man is all for himself, duh,"
"Oh, yeah,"
"Why would they be so mean to Hagrid, he seems so sweet?" Hannah Abbot asked.
"Because she's an awful person Hannah," said Leann.
"Why is everyone goth in this story?" Neville asked. Everyone gave him a look that shouted, 'you have got to be kidding me.'
"Okay, I know this may be awkward coming from a guy, but, how does that work? They say this Willow girl has big breasts but is anorexic. If you have big boobs and are skinny, that's alright. I'm sorry, but a girl cannot be anorexic and have big breasts, the human body does not work that way," Fred said.
"This is so awkward," Ginny said as she put her head in her hands.
"Nice way of saying it Gred," George said.
"Thank you Forge," Fred said.
"Now back to the story," Ron said.
"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.
"Yah." I said happily.
"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed.
"Okay, this is wrong in so many ways," Luna said.
"Why would I hang out with Malfoy?" Ron asked.
"Why is my name Dracola? And my family is not a bunch of vampires," Neville asked, clearly upset.
"Neville, you should have expected this," Seamus said.
"He was kidnapped from his parents, and they died in a car crash, which one happened before?" Lee Jordan asked.
"I don't know, Lee, nothing makes sense," George said.
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!
"Okay, do we really need to explain anything?" Zacharias asked.
"You would think the girl who wrote this would be intelligent enough to understand that My Chemical Romance is a muggle band. There would be no way that they would come to Hogsmeade, no matter what," Hannah said.
"And those death eaters wouldn't dress up as muggles no matter what scheme they came up with," Ernie said.
U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"
"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!
"Why would He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named have a knife?" Cho Chang asked.
"Because this whole story doesn't make sense," Harry Potter said.
"A knife… that's as muggle as you can get," Ginny said.
"Maybe he broke his wand," Luna suggested.
"But that is rich, you know, Dumbledore," Ron said.
"Of all people, why did he have Avril Lavigne on the back of his cloak?" Hermione asked.
"Who is Avril Lavigne?" Padma asked.
"From talking to some of my muggle born cousins from America, she's a singer who thinks she's punk, but she's actually pop," Parvarti said.
"Wait… we have cousins in America?" Padma asked.
"The ones we send owls to every summer, Padma," Parvarti said.
"Are you guys ready for the next chapter?" Ron asked. He took the silence as a yes.
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!
"She really needs to cut this out," Hermione said.
"Maybe she wouldn't get so many flames if it weren't for the fact that every time you turn around, you can barely read anything she says. I'm having to squint my eyes just to be able to read this thing," Ron said.
"That's why you're up there, Ron" Cedric said.
"Ha ha," Ron said.
(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)
Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.
"Oh my sweet Merlin," Cedric said.
"Did I really have to know that? I don't want to know what they do to any song?" Leann said.
"They're killing Hogwarts as we know it!" Dean Thomas said.
"Why would they even have Muggle bands at Hogwarts?" Hannah asked.
"Again Hannah, this story doesn't make any sense," Ernie said.
"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.
"I don't find any of those bands attractive," Hermione said in an attempt to defend herself.
"I don't think any of those people are attractive," Neville said.
"Welcome to the group, Neville," said Harry.
"I'm surprised that any of those people are still at Hogwarts. They broke so many uniform violations," Terry said.
"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.
"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.
"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"
"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"
Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.
"BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
"If Dumbledore's a poser, than she is one too," Fred said.
"I thought she was wearing that to scare away whatever his name is," Seamus said.
"I find Dumbledore in this story hilarious," Lavender said.
"We're not the posers! The stupid Slytherins are!" Neville said. Everyone just stared at him.
"His name is Albus, not Albert. But nice try though," Harry said.
"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.
I was so fucking angry.
"I doubt Harry could care less about Draco and his gothic girlfriend, right, Harry?" Luna asked.
"I'm not jealous, I feel sorry for him. The girl is a freak," Harry said.
"Wouldn't he have had his mid-life crisis fifty years ago?" Fred asked.
"George!" Ginny shouted.
"Well, the guy has a point, you know," George said.
"I hope she is angry enough to jump out a window, and fall to the ground," Neville said.
"Good one, Neville!" Seamus said.
"Thank you, I guess," Neville said.
"That is the end of the chapter, we'll see you guys tomorrow," Ron said. All the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws left.
"That was an interesting two chapters," Hermione said.
"Wait until tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be more interesting," Ron said.
Please R&R, constructive criticism welcome.