Chapter 4

Edward's POV

Moving to California was one of the best ideas I had ever had. It was sunny all the time, and it barely rained. Where in Forks the sun never shined and it rained 99% of the time. But the one thing I do regret is leaving my Bella behind. I knew this would hurt her and me. I even talked to my farther about switching to a community college right in Forks so I could stay with her until she graduated. But my education was always first priority in the Cullen household. My farther pushed me to get straight A's in high school. He made sure that I got accepted to and Ivy League school. He was disappointed when I chose UCLA over Harvard. But I told him that I really wanted to play football there with Emmett. We had many fights about it. We even went through a period of not speaking to each other at all. But my mother pulled us together and made us talk to each other on night.

It didn't work. I ended up leaving my house and went straight to Bella's house. She always made me feel better. She was my everything. I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist.

When the school year ended I was beyond happy. I was ready for a break in my busy schedule. I had football tryouts coming up so Emmett and I were at the gym constantly getting back into shape. I had finials to study for, and my part time job at a local Starbucks.

It has been 2 years since the break up. And I must admit that every day is a struggle. I can't go a day without thinking about her and wondering what she is doing. I begged Emmett not to say anything about her to me. I just couldn't handle it. It was better if I just pretended that she didn't exist.

That never worked. There was always something that reminded me of her. And every time I think about it. The memories came flooding back to me.

For months after the break up I was a total wreck. I never went out anywhere. I didn't talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone. My only connection with the outside world was Emmett. He told me all the useless things that were happening around campus. I know he was just trying to take my mind off of things but it didn't work. I even drove up to Forks one night without Emmett just to see her and tell her I was sorry and I wanted her back. But I remember the last words she said to me.

"Good. Good Bye Edward Cullen. I never want to speak to you again."

I knew she said it out of anger, but something inside of me said that she meant it.

I drove by her house. I saw that her parents cars were gone. And the only light that was on was her bedroom light. I parked my car a few houses down and walked around to the back yard to look into her window. I felt like a pervert trying to see a girl naked or something. But this was different. I just need to see her face and maybe talk to her, but that's it.

I crept around and climbed a tree to try to get a better view. But I wish I wouldn't have.

Bella was sitting on her bed with her knees pulled up to her chest. She was red in the face and her eyes were puffy. She had been crying. I started to tear up as well seeing her like this. Knowing that I had caused this pain. I hated myself for it. I wanted to take all her pain away and give it to myself.

The reason for this break up was stupid. I should have just ignored everyone and followed my heart. I knew I loved her, and I knew she loved me just as much. But I let others influence my decision.

I was such an ass.

Seeing her like that killed me I was getting down from the tree and about to throw rocks at her window when a big, tall, dark haired guy came out of the corner of her room and sat next to her on her bed. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. That's when I realized that she had moved on from me. I just hope the reason she was crying had nothing to do with him hurting her. I was about to run right up there and punch the kid in the face, but I stopped myself and walked back to my car and drove back to campus.

~&%(%(~

I was driving to Forks for my summer break. I had my bags packed and dirty laundry in the back seat. I was just entering Washington when I got a phone call from Emmett.

"Hey Em." I said keeping one hand on the wheel trying to put my phone on speaker so I could concentrate.

"Hey E-man. So here's the plan. You drop all your stuff off at your house. Then come to my house and we are going to have a guy's night. Just you and me. What do you say?"

"Emmett I don't think that I good idea. Why don't you just bring the stuff to my house and we can chill with Jasper." I really didn't want to step foot in that house. After that night in the tree I promised myself I would never step foot on her lawn again.

"Oh come on Edward stop being a pussy and get your ass over here. Bella is having her graduation party tonight so she won't even know you're here. We will stay in the back yard the whole time. We won't even go inside. We'll be all alone. Please man I'm begging you. I need some man time with my best friend."

"Wow I thought I would never see the day when Emmett Charles Swan would be begging on his knees for me just to spend time with him." I laughed.

"Hey fucker I never said I was getting on my knees. I know you would enjoy that sight way too much. I just said that I was begging. Now are you coming or not?"

"Yes Emmett I'll come. But I won't like a signal minute of it."

"That's the spirit. Park your car down the block and walk in the garage. I'll be waiting for you there."

"Wow Em begging and waiting for me. I might want to think twice about us being alone tonight."

"Fuck off." And with that Emmett hung up the phone.

I was nervous about tonight. I had no intentions of seeing her but I knew there would be a possibility that I might. I just have to get over it and hope for the best.

~&%*$~

I did like Emmett said and parked my car a few houses down the road. There weren't any cars there yet so I take it the party didn't start. I walked with my hands in the jean pockets playing with my keys. I really didn't want to do this. I know I was setting myself up for disaster. When I told my mother where I was going she almost had a heart attack. She didn't want me to go no more than I did. But she hid it well and just told me to have fun and tell Emmett hello.

I walked up her drive way and went straight to the garage where I found Emmett sitting in a lawn chair eating a sandwich.

"About time." he said with a mouth full of food. He swallowed it and jumped up from his chair.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up." Emmett said.

"Well I had to spend some time with my family Em. I see you on a regular bases where I just see them every once in a while."

"What ever. So I have everything planned out. I just need to get the stuff ready." Emmett said running around the garage grabbing things.

"Can I ask why the lights are turned off in here?"

"I like to be in the dark. And I didn't want it to be suspicious that I was waiting for you." I rolled my eyes at him. He was really taking this way to far.

" Okay so where is everyone?" I asked in a casual tone.

"Well my parents went to the store to get us beer and food for the party, Bella is up stairs with her friends, and I have no clue when this party is going to start. Maybe no one will show up." Emmett said still pacing around the room.

This feels like just a normal Saturday night with Emmett. We would drink a few beers, find random stuff and decide what we are going to do with it. One time Emmett grabbed a soccer ball, some fishing string, a 2 liter bottle of coke, and a pack of balloons. We spent the night kicking the soccer ball. Then we filled the balloons with water and coke and threw them at each other. I can't remember what we used the string for but Charlie was pissed at us after that because we used all of it and he didn't have any to go fishing the next day.

Just then the lights came on and Emmett and I froze. Then I heard the sweetest voice behind me that made me turn around to look at her. She was standing there with food in her hands, and very short and sexy dress on, and no shoes. She looked amazing. Breathtaking as usual. My heart skipped a beat I think. But when reality hit me I wanted nothing more than to hide under a rock and get away from here. But I couldn't seem to make my feet move.

"Hey Em do you know where…." She stopped dead in her tracks and dropped her food. I wanted to run over and pick it up for her and kiss her and say I was sorry and I want her back. But I still couldn't get my feet to move. It's like I was glued to the floor.

"You might not want to eat those after they been on the ground." Emmett said pointing to the chips. As usual he was trying to make light of the situation. But I don't think it was working. She stood there frozen just like me. I wanted to say something but I couldn't find the words. So I just said the first thing that came to mind.

"Hello Bella." I said trying to sound polite. It took her a few seconds to respond but when she did my heart hurt from my name coming from her lips.

"Hi Edward." Then she turned her attention away from me and looked at Emmett.

"Do you know where mom is?"

"Yea she and dad went run to the store and grab some more food and stuff. Why do you ask?"

"I just needed to…What are you doing?"

I saw she was watching Emmett walk around the garage picking up more stuff. I envied how they could carry on a casual conversation right in front of me. Like I wasn't there. Well I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

"It's a secrete. Now go inside and do the girly things that you were doing before you interrupted me and Edward's bonding time."

"Emmett you aren't doing anything stupid that would embarrass me are you?"

Just then she pulled her arms around her body making her breast mash together. I was beginning to become hard at her body. I remember the first time we had sex in the meadow. That was the first night I got to see and touch her boobs. They were smaller back then, but still bigger than your average 16 year old. Bella was always pretty. Even through her awkward years. She still took my breath away. Now that she has grown up so has her body. It has only gotten better with time. She was at least a C cup by now. Oh what I wouldn't give to just take her here right now. But I had to control myself. I started thinking of things that would get my mind off of Bella's boobs. But with her standing right there it made it very difficult.

"Don't worry Bella I won't do anything stupid at your little party. Me and Edward will just be in the back yard doing grown up things that pretty little girls shouldn't worry about." If only Emmett knew of the 'grown up things' I wanted to do to his baby sister right now.

"Wait I thought you were DJing?" Bella yelled to Emmett who was walking out the door.

"It's a CD Bella just pop it in and your good to go."

Then we were alone. Just me and Bella and my dirty thoughts. I could easily walk over to her and take her up against Emmett's jeep. It would be fast and hot. Emmett would bust a nut if he walked in on us. But right now I didn't care.

"Bella?" I said as she was turning away from me. When she turned back around I saw it in her eyes that she didn't want to be around me anymore. I saw the pain in her eyes. That bothered me. I was thinking about having sex with her right now and she was hurting. I am such an ass.

I didn't know what to do so I just turned around and left without saying another word. I knew it was rude but it was better if I didn't say anything at all.

I made it out the garage door and was hit in the shoulder by Emmett.

"Dude I thought me leaving the room was secrete code for you follow." Emmett yelled at me hitting me once more.

"Sorry." I just said looking down at the ground.

"Come on let's get shit faced drunk and forget about this whole thing." Emmett said leading me to the back yard.

"Emmett last time I got shit faced drunk with you I ended up in a county jail cell with a big black guy named Joe who was watching me sleep." I would never forget the time Emmett dared me to run around the football field naked when we were freshman at UCLA.

The cops showed up and Emmett got away but I didn't. I had to get my father to bail me out of jail. That was one of the worst days of my life.

~(*^#$%^&~

Emmett and I stayed in the back yard drinking Bud lights and sitting in lawn chairs for about an hour when Emmett's mom, Renee, came running to us with a worried look on her face.

"Emmett Bella is locked in her bathroom and won't open the door for anyone. We think she might have fell and hit her head because she's not responding." Renee said. Me and Emmett got up and ran into the house and up the stairs to Bella's room. The party had already started so there were people everywhere. Somewhere looking at us and wondering what was going on. But some were clueless and continued doing whatever they were doing.

Emmett and I walked into the room. I stayed by the door because there were a lot of people in there. Bella's friends Rosalie and Alice were there with Bella's mom and dad standing by the bathroom door.

Why would Bella lock herself in there when there is a party going on? And why isn't she responding? God I hope she is okay. I don't think I could live with myself if anything happened to her.

"Bella open up its Emmett." Emmett yelled while beating on the door. Nothing.

"Bella open up your scaring us." Rosalie said.

"Damn it. Everyone step back." Emmett yells. Before I could say anything Emmett lifted his foot in the air and kicked down the door leaving it hanging on the hinged. Charlie ran into the bathroom and pulled Bella out. She looked life less in his arms. I thought she was dead for a moment. But then I heard her talk. And I felt relieve fill my body.

"Bella what the hell is wrong with you? You scared Rose and Alice half to death when you didn't unlock the door." Charlie said placing her on the bed. She was crying and her face was all red. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Renee said.

"I don't know." She said. Her voice was cracking from crying.

"Did you fall?" Charlie asked her.

"No I just fell asleep." She said. Just then she looked around the room at everyone. She stayed a long time looking at me.

She looked away and whispered something. But no one heard her.

"What?" her mother asked her. "Bella honey talk to us. Tell us what the problem is so we can make it better."

"You want to know what the problem is. HE is my problem." She said pointing at me. I was just about to say something but she carried on leaving everyone speechless.

"HE is the reason why I locked myself in the bathroom. HE is the reason why I was crying to the point of throwing up. HE is the reason why I am the way I am. I have spent and year of my life crying over him and not living my life. And just when things start to get back to normal and I don't feel the need to cry every time something reminds me of him, he comes to my house and dares to show his face after what he did to me."

I looked at her and wanted to cry too. I didn't realize what I had put her through. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like throwing up as well. I wanted to go to her and say I'm sorry. But I knew that wouldn't be enough. If I had known how bad all of this was I would have made things better between us. I would have apologized. Got down on my knees and begged for her mercy. I would have spent my entire life making it up to her.

"Get out! Everyone just get the hell out!" she yelled.

Then she walked over to me and hit me right across the face. It didn't hurt. I played football for crying out loud. I could take a hit. But there was so much hate and anger behind it that it hurt more than she could even imagine. I couldn't help but rub my face after that. That's when I felt the tears forming in my eyes.

"You ruined my life." She said with such venom. Then walked passed me and out the door.

I looked up and saw that everyone was looking at me. I couldn't help the tears that were falling down my face. I never wanted anyone to see me like this. So I did what I did best and walked away, down the stairs, and out the front door. I started walking to my car when I saw Bella's old red truck speeding down the high way. I don't think she saw me.

I wanted to follow her. Just to make sure she was alright. And maybe we could talk. That' when a thought crossed my mind. She is never going to forgive me. She hates me. We will never be together again. That's when I got to my car and threw up. I couldn't stop it. I felt like shit. No I felt like a complete jack ass.

When I was finished throwing up got in my car and drove away. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go home and have to face my family.

My phone started ringing and I looked at the caller id. It was Emmett. But I didn't want to talk to him either.

I pulled on the side of the road to pull myself together. I hit my hands on the stirring wheel and let out a few screams. Why did I ruin my and her life? We were so happy. This time now we would be making plans for her to come to college with me. We would be spending the summer together talking about the future. I might have even asked her to marry me by now.

Why did I screw everything up? What's wrong with me?

AN: So I decided to put this up as chapter 4. Also if you can guess and find the song lyric I put in here you get a special extra long teaser for the next chapter! Just Review or PM me with the answer.

I'll even give you a hint. It's a song that Victoria Justice sings on her tv show Victorious. But I won't say anymore.

Review and tell me what you think about the chapter!

The next chapter will be in Bella's POV again.

I also would like to rec this story to yall.

It's called: Fan fiction, Sex Gods and Single Girls by: bannerday

I love all of her stories. This one is about Bella being a Fan fiction author and Edward is her new neighbor who she had a very eventful first meeting with. It is a very good story and well written. It is just staring only having a few chapters, but it is so worth reading it. And if you check it out make sure you say that I sent you there ;)

Until next time…

~mmc13~