Chapter 7
Summer had officially started here around Forks. Kids were everywhere playing in the streets of the neighborhood riding bikes on those rare sunny days, or playing in the rain and mud.
For us teenagers we would go to a different party every night, ride up to Port Angeles to go shopping or watch a movie, staying up all night doing nothing while sleeping during the day.
But what was I doing while all of this was going on outside my bedroom door. Well I was wasting away days just lying in my bed doing nothing. Because I couldn't make myself care. I didn't care about my family, I didn't care about my friends, I didn't care if I haven't taken a shower in 2 days.
The only thing I cared about was Edward Cullen. And that made me furious. How can I still care about someone like that?
I tried for 2 years to forget about him, and I was just starting to be okay with things and except everything that had happened. But everything came crashing down once again.
A part of me hates him for what he said to me that day. But the other part of me accepted that it was probably true. I was just a good fuck to him. There was never a real connection between us. He never loved me. Everything was a lie. I felt sick to my stomach knowing that I just let it happen. But I didn't know any better. I was in love with him. And love makes you blind.
That day when Emmett came back he found me on my bed curled up in a ball crying my eyes out. He asked what was wrong, but I didn't give him an answer. He just asked 'was it Edward?" and I guess the look on my face said it all because he hit my wall with his fist and stormed out of my room letting out a couple of 'mother fuckers' and 'I'm going to kill him'. I could hear the front door slam shut.
I don't know what Emmett did or said to Edward and I really didn't care, but Emmett never brought up the topic to me. Now 3 weeks later I was still crying in my room alone because of him.
Alice and Rose came over almost every day trying to get me to go somewhere and do something with them, but I just wanted to be alone and suffer in silence.
The real reason for me not wanting to leave my room was because I was scared that I was going to run into Edward. And I just couldn't handle seeing him after everything now. He hasn't come by to the house, or I think he hasn't. And Emmett doesn't talk about anything Edward related around me.
My parents started to worry that I might have depression. This is the second time in my life that I have locked myself in my room for several days not talking to anyone. The first time was when he broke up with me.
They came into my room and ask if I wanted to see a doctor about all of this. That just set me off and I yelled and screamed that I wasn't crazy and that I didn't want to see a doctor. They left me alone after that and didn't bring up the subject. Maybe I should see someone. Just to talk to and get this all off my chest. Maybe they can knock some sense into me and guide me toward the road that doesn't have anything to do with Edward.
Why did my life have to end up this way?
Why couldn't I just fall in love with someone my own age and have a happy relationship with?
Why did he have to make things difficult?
Why can't I move on from him?
So many questions went through my head. And I didn't have an answer for one of them. I just want to get better.
~*&$%*~
"Get up sunshine! You are getting out of this house today and breathe in that fresh air that you can only get by being outside." I heard Alice say as she pulled back the curtains of my window letting in the sunlight. I was still asleep and the bright light hurt my eyes. When I looked up at my clock I saw that it was 1pm. I slept through most of the day.
"Come on Bella I brought my make up case and I few new outfits my mom sent over. We are having a girls day in Port Angeles." Alice said pulling the covers off of my body. I was suddenly cold after that.
"Alice I don't want to go. Please don't make me." I begged.
"Bella I have had enough of all this moping. You need to get out of this house, and out of those clothes. Come on don't make me throw you in that tub and force you to take a shower because I will."
I have known Alice for quite a few years now and I know when she is serious about something. And right now she wasn't joking. She really will throw me in the tub.
"Okay." I said getting out of my warm bed and into my bathroom. Emmett had finally fixed the door so I had some privacy again.
I turned on the hot water and let the steam take over before I got in. I walked over and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like I just got ran over by a bus. My eyes were puffy from all the crying. My hair hadn't been brushed in forever and I started to smell a little. Gross. How could I let myself look like this?
I got into the hot water and let it relax me. I forgot how good the hot water made me feel. I reached for my shampoo and washed my hair and tried to get the knots and tangles out.
When I was finished I dried off and put on my pink robe and made my way back to my room
"Well praise the good lord above. She's out of bed and showered."
"Nice to see you too Rosalie." I said.
"Now come sit so I can do something with that hair." Rose said.
"You guys I don't think this is such a good idea." I said.
"No it's a GREAT idea Bella. I will not let you sit in this room all summer wallowing in your own self pity. You need to get out in the real world and have some fun again." Alice said in her usual high pitched voice. You really couldn't tame Alice if you tried. She was life the Energizer Bunny. She was always on go.
"What if we see…..him?" I managed to get out.
"Is that why you won't go out with us?" Rose said looking at me through the mirror while brushing my hair.
"No." I lied.
"Bella you really need to get over him." Alice said.
If she only knew. I didn't even tell my best friends why I was acting this way. They just assume it's because of what happened at the party. They don't know about the fight me and Edward had and the words that were said. I really didn't tell anyone. The only person who might know about it is Emmett and the only reason he might know is because Edward might have told him. I didn't want to tell anyone about it. For one I didn't want to relive the events and second I didn't want anyone being made at Edward. He was just telling the truth. It's my fault that I take everything to heart. It's my fault I'm this way. I shouldn't have got involved with him in the first place.
"It's not that simple Alice." I said looking down.
"Well follow the golden rule. The only way to get over a guy is to date another guy." Rose said.
"That's the golden rule Rose? I thought it was chicks before dicks."Alice said.
"Well that's the other one. But the first is the most important."Rose said.
"So what do you say Bella. Mike Newton is throwing a party tonight. Everyone has been asking for you." Alice said.
"No I don't want to go to the party." Mike Newton lived just a few houses away from Edward. There was no way I was going to get that close to him.
"Oh Bella he won't be there I promise." Alice said to me while she walked over and started doing my makeup.
I had a feeling this was going to be a long day.
~%$%&&~
The rest of the day was spent shopping for outfits for the party. I had a miserable time, and I made sure everyone knew it too. Every 5 seconds I made it a point to complain about something and beg for them to take me home. But after a while Rose and Alice ignored me and didn't say anything to me and my little outburst.
We went back to Roses house to get ready all over again. That's right. I took another shower, which isn't a bad thing, and Rose and Alice redid my hair and makeup. It was torture. I just wanted to go home and maybe read a book. I rather be doing anything but this.
"Oh Bella you look so hot." Rose said as I came from the bathroom.
"Thanks Rose." I said. I wasn't amused. I know she was just trying to make me feel better and make me want to go to the party, but it wasn't working.
We made it to the party fashionably late as Alice puts it. Everyone was already there and I'm sure half the party was tipsy. Mike's parents didn't have a problem with underage drinking. But everyone had to provide their own beer. Not a lot of people liked Mike. They just tolerated him because of his parties. Which without alcohol they would suck.
"Okay now the party can start I have arrived!" Rose shouted when we walked through the front door. Everyone shouted and raised their beer to us. Rose sure knew how to control a crowd.
"OMG Bella. I can't believe you made it. I was like so worried about you. Are you okay?" Jessica Stanley asked me. She was on the cheerleader squad with me. I wouldn't call her a friend, but we have known each other since kindergarten.
"Yea I'm fine Jess." I said trying to pull off a smile. I think it worked.
"OMG did you see the hot guy that works at the diner? He's like from Europe or something. He's staying with his aunt and uncle for the summer to earn money for college or something like that. Omg Bella his voice is so sexy. I had to change my underwear after I ate lunch the other day." Jessica said.
"No I haven't really been to the diner lately. But I'll be sure to check him out."I said trying to play along. Jessica was nice to hang around, but she just doesn't know when enough is enough. I was going to come up with a lie to try to get away from her. Alice and Rose and ditched me right when we walked through the door. If they wanted me to come to this stupid party they should at least stay by my side and talk to me. Some friends they are.
"Oh we should go have lunch tomorrow. Are you free?" I wanted to say no, but the look on Jessica's face got to me. She looked like an eager puppy that wanted you to pick him up. I was weak when it came to other people's feelings. I just couldn't say no even if I tried. I hated letting people down.
"Yea sure I'm free." I said.
"Great I'll pick you up around 11:00 so we can get there before the lunch rush comes in and he's like super busy. Then we won't have time to flirt with him." Jessica said jumping up and down. Wow she must really like this guy.
'Okay. I'm going get something to drink I'll be right back."
"Okay hurry back I want to tell you more about him."
"Okay." I said walking away. There was no way in hell that I was going back to her. I had enough for tonight and I just got here.
I made my way through the house to get to the kitchen. I was stopped by people along the way asking what I was up too. I just lied and said I was busy. They left it alone after that seeing that I wasn't going to talk about it.
I grabbed a bottle of water out of the ice chest they had on the counter and I went to look for something to do. I wasn't in the mood to talk to people. Maybe I can lock myself in the bathroom until the party is over. Then I got a brilliant idea.
I'm going to ditch this party. I looked around and saw that Rose and Alice had the whole male population surrounding them while they took body shots off each other. They wouldn't even miss me.
I used the side door to make my escape. No one saw me. I sent a quick text to Rose saying that I didn't feel good and that I was going home. I knew she wouldn't see it until later on. And that was the plan. I would be home by the time she tried to stop me.
I walked onto the front lawn and that's when I noticed that I didn't have a ride home. Alice drove us in her car. I could call Emmett to come get me. But I don't know what he was doing tonight. I would call my parents but Alice said she already told them that I was spending the day with them and going to a party tonight so they decide to have a date night and watch a movie in Port Angeles.
I could just walk its only about 3 miles. I could do that.
I started to walk down the side walk when I tripped on something and fell. I cursed Alice for making me wear high heels. I moved my foot and thank got it wasn't broken or sprained. So I got up and sat down in the grass and called Emmett. There was no way I was going to make it 3 miles walking in those heels. Emmett picked up on the 2nd ring.
"Hello?" he said.
"Can you come get me?"
"Right now?"
"Yes right now I'm at Mike's."
"What are you doing at Mike's?"
"He's having a party, but I'm not in the party mood."
"Can't you get anyone else to do it Bells?"
"No Rose and Alice are…busy..and I think everyone else to too intoxicate to drive. Please Em I just want to go home."
"Okay I'll be there in 5 minutes, but I'll warn you now that you won't like it."
"Why won't I like it?"
"Because I have people in my car right now. Me and the guys are coming back from the diner and we were going back to the house to hang out."
"I don't care just come get me." I said and hung up. I waited on the grass for what felt like forever when I saw head lights coming toward me. Then as they got closer I saw that it was Emmett. He stopped right in front of me and I opened the back door and jumped up to get in. Emmett insisted to jack his jeep up with these mega huge tires. Boys.
I managed to get in with the death traps that Alice calls fashion and sit next to someone in the back seat. I put my cell phone in my purse and finally looked up to see why Emmett wasn't moving. But I wish I wouldn't have.
Sitting next to me in the back seat of Emmett's car was Jasper. Next to Jasper was Jacob Black. Then staring at me from the passenger seat was Edward.
FUCK… MY… LIFE.
"Oh great. Just perfect. Let me out." I yelled trying to open the door, but Emmett had locked it and started moving. Great!
"Emmett let me out of this car now or I'll let myself out." I said.
"What you going to do? Jump out of a moving vehicle?" Emmett laughed.
"Yea I will. Let me out!"
"Chill out Bells. I already told you, you weren't going to like it. Now just shut up we're almost home."
I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Edward was looking at me.
"What are you looking at?" I said looking at him. That's when I saw that Edward left eye was completely back and swollen, and he had a cut on his lip. It looked like it had heeled some. It wasn't a recent injury. I wonder how he got that.
He just shook his head and turned around facing the window. I looked and saw Jasper was trying hard not to look at either one of us. He was keeping his face on the road in front of us. I looked over at Jake and he was smiling away waving at me.
"Hey Bells long time no see." Jake said.
"Yea well there's a reason for that Jacob."
"I know. I tried calling you a few times but you never answered."
"I was busy and I really didn't want to talk to you."
"Oh come on Bells don't be like that. It was just a kiss."
Emmett stopped that car abruptly and made all of us jerk forward.
"YOUKISSED BELLA?" Emmett yelled. Edward was staring at me again.
"Yep on the lips too." Jake said with a proud smile.
"Bella why didn't you tell me you and Jake finally hooked up?" Emmett said giving Jake a high five. Okay if it wasn't awkward before it was now. And what did he mean my 'finally' was he waiting for me and Jake to get together? I'm sure Emmett probably put him up to the whole thing. I had the sudden urge to kick Emmett in the balls right now.
"NO we did not 'hook up'." I said with air quotes. "He kissed me and I pushed him away. It wasn't even that great." I could have sworn I saw Edward sigh in relief.
"And how would you know what's considered good or not? How many guys have you kissed? I'm sure it's not a lot so you wouldn't know what a real kiss feels like." Jake asked me. What was it with guys these days? All they want to do is make me angry and upset.
"I'm not talking to you anymore. And I'm not some slut that kisses people jus t for the experience." I said turning away from everyone and putting my forehead against the cold glass of the window. Why is it taking so long to get home?
"HAHA hey Bells don't you think it's funny that the two people you ever kissed is sitting in this car right now? How many times does that happen?" Emmett laughed.
"Emmett shut up." I was surprised to hear Edward speak. I kicked the back of his seat for empathizes.
"Or what? You want me to give you another black eye Cullen." Wow Emmett gave Edward the black eye. That made me feel a little better. I wonder what Edward told him? Did he tell him about our fight?
After a few minutes of much needed silence we finally made it to my house. My parents must still be out because the car gone and the lights were off in the house.
Once Emmett parked the Jeep I ran out of there as fast as I could and made my way up the steps only to be greeted by a locked door, and I didn't have my keys. I had to wait for Emmett to get his slow ass out of the car. Walk around the back and open the trunk. And then come over and unlock the door.
Edward stayed his distance away from me. But I got a good look of his entire face now. He had a cut on his forehead that went from his hairline to his eyebrow. And he had some bruising on his right cheek bone.
Before I could stop to think about what I was doing I walked over to him and put my hands over his scraps and scars.
"My god Emmett did you try to kill him? Look at what you've done?" It came out more aggressive than I wanted it to. It sounded like I was defending Edward. I hated myself for caring.
"Bella stop. Its okay I deserved it." Edward whispered to me. He took my hands away from his face and just held on to them.
"No it's not okay Edward. Look at your face. He could have given you brain damage."
"I'm fine my dad took care of me."
"Yea Bells don't freak out. It's all good." Emmett said walking into the house with Jasper and Jake following him. It was just Edward and me outside alone.
"Are you okay." I asked.
"Yes I'm fine. Are you okay?" I knew his words had a double meaning.
"No." I said truthfully. I hated that I could tell him the truth when I couldn't tell anyone else.
"I'm sorry. Again. I didn't mean to say that. You just made me so angry Bella."
"You were just telling the truth." I said.
"No Bella what I said was a lie. I didn't mean it. I said it out of angry. I'm sorry. Just let's talk and let me explain myself. I really didn't mean it."
And there I was standing outside my house with Edward saying he was sorry again. And he still was holding my hands.
The words 'I forgive you' were on the tip of my tongue. I was just about to say them, but I stopped myself. I didn't forgive him. Yet.
I just looked up at him. His face was bruised and damaged because of me. Well Emmett did it but I'm sure he did it for me. I wanted to hug him and make him feel better. I know it had to hurt. But I stopped myself again. I wasn't going to forgive him. I wanted him to hurt like I have been hurting. I needed to do something. I needed a plan.
A plan to get my revenge on Edward Cullen.
No I needed something better than revenge! I needed him to get a dose of his own medicine. Then after all is said and done I'll forgive him.
I could forgive him. Maybe that will get my life back in order. I could be happy again.
I took my hands out of his and walked away. Into the house and up to my bedroom.
I took out an old notebook and a pen and started writing down ways to get my revenge!
AN: I love you guys!
Your reviews just make me so happy. But it also makes me nervous too. Now I have a pressure to make this story perfect for you all.
So I bet you didn't see this coming. I had to incorporate the title of the story in here somewhere. ;)
So if you want an Edward's POV about how Emmett beat him up let me know. I might add it to the story or keep it as an outtake. Let me know!
I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone that has reviewed and or put this story on alerts/favorites. You guys rock!
Until next time…
~mmc13~