Chapter Seven: Hidan's plan
Deidara still had not came back, Hidan was getting worried although he wouldn't admit it and Fluffy kept gently butting at the door. Finally Hidan gave into his worries and stood up causing glances from the rest of the Akatsuki, he was going to find Deidara. Fluffy rubbed against his legs forcily and began dragging him towards the door with his cloak, Hidan nearly fell over as Fluffy pulled him quickly towards the door. Hidan opened the door and Fluffy pulled him over, he ended up spawled on the floor, he picked himself up and Fluffy began pulling him out the door. Fluffy lead him to a sleeping Deidara, who sat soaked, caked in mud and under a tree. Hidan sighed, she was going to get ill like that.
"Hey Deidara wake up." Hidan said shaking her awake gently, Deidara grodgingly opened her eyes. She saw Hidan and frowned.
"Hidan do you think I'm weak, un?" Deidara asked, Hidan blinked, how could she ask such a question after just waking up? It told him at least an hour to wake up fully, sighing he sat next to her.
"Of course I don't think you are weak, after all you did punch me through several walls, nearly sacrificed and you created that fucking powerful Pegasus." Hidan smirked, Deidara smiled.
"Thank you, Hidan, and I'm sorry I did that now, un." Deidara said and leaned against him, Hidan suddenly had an idea, he didn't like it that much but if it made Deidara happy...
"Why don't you go do my mission as me and I'll stay as you so you can prove that you can fucking kick ass without your kick-ass clay and as a bitch, you'll show that pierced asshole." Hidan said, Deidara blinked.
"But your working with Danna, I don't feel like talking to him, un." Deidara frowned, Hidan put his arm around his shoulder. Damn he was going to hate himself for this but he couldn't bear Deidara's sad face.
"Deidara, Sasori told us what happened, I know what he did hurt you but he had a reason for it for not helping you, he was jealous of Tobi?" Hidan said, Deidara blinked surprised.
"Why would he be jealous of Tobi, un?" Deidara asked, Hidan smirked wow he was really oblivous of all the fighting over him.
"Sasori is overly jealous of what he thinks is his, and you are his partner, being the stupid puppet he is he thought by helping you make up with Tobi you'll be all friendly with him and he'll steal you as a partner." Hidan said, dammit how much did it hurt to say that, Deidara smiled.
"Danna is silly like that isn't he. I over-reacted didn't I, un." Deidara said rubbing the back of his neck.
"Not all, I would of sacrificed him to Jashin." Hidan replied, he was shocked to the core as Deidara kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you Hidan, you're the sweetest you know that, un." Deidara said, Hidan's entire face blushed scarlet and suddenly he was really happy. Deidara skipped back to headquarters, Fluffy followed after her after turning back to Hidan and... smiling? Hidan blinked he was seeing things surely, tigers don't smile. Hidan shrugged and followed after them, dismissing it as a trick of his imagination.
*CHANGE*
Sasori was surprised to find himself knocked off his chair and onto the floor by a cheeriful blonde.
"I'm sorry for over-reacting, Danna, Hidan explained everything, un." Deidara said, Sasori blinked. Hidan? Hidan got him back into Deidara's good books, what would the Jashinist do that for? He hated the puppet and he liked Deidara himself, it just didn't make sense.
"Oh and Hidan had this amazing plan, un. (I swear he's a secret genius) Where I go on a mission and show Leader that I'm strong, un." Deidara smiled, Sasori nodded blankly, Hidan have an amazing plan? What the hell was this coming to? Next thing Deidara would be telling him crap like he'll die because of some pink-headed whore, Tobi was actually Uchiha Madara and was secretly ruling Akatsuki, then most of the Akatsuki would die and then be brought back to life by this crappy jutsu used by his subordinate, Kabuto who was part Orochimaru and he would die again lamely because of something Kankurou said. And as if that crap would ever happen. Deidara began hurriedly whispering the plan into Sasori's ear, he was surprised to find it was quite a good plan except for one huge flaw.
"All this manages to do is get you doing a mission, it does nothing to prove to Leader that you're strong." Sasori told her arms crossed, Deidara just smiled.
"Hidan's taking care of that, un." Deidara told him, Sasori just nodding wondering how Hidan was planning to do that.
"You are aware that you can't say un whilst pretending to be Hidan." Sasori smirked.
"I never say 'un', un." Deidara pouted, Sasori rolled his eyes.
"And you have to swear a lot more." He told her, she sighed and did the hand signals for the jutsu that would change her into Hidan. She ended up looking exactly like Hidan... except one thing.
"How's fucking this, Pinocchico." Deidara smirked, Sasori sighed, she got his attitude right but...
"Brat, Hidan doesn't have glasses." Sasori groaned, Deidara or rather 'Hidan' stuck her tounge out.
"Well I like them." Deidara said sulkily, Hidan hurriedly ran into Sasori's room and slammed the door shut.
"Can't have any one seeing me going into your room..." Hidan panted, he smirked at Deidara.
"Hey I like the glasses, they suit me." Hidan said, Deidara stuck his tounge out at Sasori again.
"See, un, I told you." Deidara smirked, Sasori huffed, Deidara then turned to Hidan after returning to his orginal form, "Now show Danna your me, un." Deidara smiled sitting down on Sasori's lap, Hidan shrugged and uncertainly did the hand signals. The transformation was sucessful and he now looked exactly like Deidara did just then except for one thing...
"Why am I in a dress, un?" Deidara asked curiously, Hidan laughed embarrassedly.
"I don't know." Hidan said looking down at the knee length flowing baby blue dress he was wearing.
"Well I don't like it." Deidara said frowning, Sasori smirked.
"I don't know, I think it suits you. You should really wear dresses like that." Sasori smiled, trying to convince Deidara as the dress really looked cute on him. Hidan did the hand signals that turned him back to himself.
"I think this might actually work, the problem is trying to get you two to act like one another." Sasori muttered. Hidan smirked.
"Danna, you'll probally get annoyed about this but I believe art is fleeting, yeah. Just like life, un." Hidan said leaning against Sasori's bed-post. Both Deidara and Sasori blinked at him disbelievingly.
"Wow, that was actually kinda scary, un." Deidara said, Sasori nodded in argeement, he was about to reply that art was eternal like he always did when he had realised Hidan had said that.
"It was fucking awful calling Pinochicco Danna, I have a fucking shit-like taste in my mouth now." Hidan admitted, wiping his tounge trying to get rid of the taste. "Well do you think you can fucking be me." Hidan asked, Deidara smiled.
"I'm not going to be put down by a guy who played Odette in the Swan Lake ballet." Deidara said, Hidan went red.
"Why does everyone has to fucking bring that up." Hidan grumbled. Deidara sighed.
"Sorry, Hida-kun." Deidara said leaping off Sasori's lap and hugging Hidan, Hidan's eyes widened.
"Hida-kun?" Hidan murmured blushing slightly, Deidara looked at Hidan's face which currently resembled a tomato's.
"Hida-kun, are you okay?" Deidara asked, Hidan blinked.
"I'm fine." Hidan said, Deidara frowned and put his hand against his head. Hidan blushed furthur so his face now resembled a red balloon dipped in red paint and pushed Deidara's hand away.
"What are you doing, Deidara?" Hidan asked, Deidara looked surprised.
"Checking your temperature, you look rather red." Deidara said obviously, Hidan pushed Deidara away.
"You're in my personal space." Hidan said, Deidara took several steps back and pouted.
"Well come on Dei, I don't see you being like me." Hidan said, Deidara smirked pulled out Hidan's scthye from somewhere inside her cloak (it was actually amazing what you could hide in there, once she had hid a grand piano, a basket of kittens, thirty bags of clay and ten scrolls filled with forbidden jutsus). Hidan paled and took a step back.
"Don't you go pyscho-kill-Hidan-with-his-own-weapon-mode again." Hidan said making his way to the door.
"But Hida-kun, isn't that what you do to Kakuzu all the time." Deidara said sweetly, Sasori just stared at Deidara for a moment, then he smirked. So this was what Hidan had meant by trying to sacrifice him.
"Hey... Deidara come on, pretending to be me and actually using my fighting techinques against me in an attempt to sacrifice me are two different things." Hidan said backing away, Deidara smirked.
"Oh really?" Deidara smiled taking a step towards him, Hidan felt his back against the cold wall. He shrunk away as Deidara pinned him against the wall with his own scthye, he felt pissed at his scthye for not obeying him and betraying him for Deidara.
"Shit." he murmured, Deidara looked at him curiously with soft blue eyes.
"What?" Deidara asked, Hidan winced.
"Jashin-sama likes you better than me as well." Hidan admitted angrily, Deidara's eyes widened and she looked sad.
"I'm sorry, Hida-kun." Deidara said softly, Hidan looked at her.
"Why would you be sorry?" Hidan asked. Sasori coughed to get their attention, this was the second time that Deidara had forgotten about him, the first having been waltzing with Itachi. Deidara looked at Sasori surprised, she had forgotten about him.
"Danna... I will meet you for the mission tommorrow as Hidan, right now I need to rest though." Deidara said rushing out the door.
"A little help please." Hidan pleaded looking at Sasori, Sasori blinked did Hidan just say please? The world was definitely going mad.
A/N: One point for Hidan, aww I think he is so sweet when he wants to be :3