The conversation between the two brothers was an awkward one, and not one Dean was willing to have. He'd just been caught in an intimate situation with Castiel in which his brother had walked in on.

"Dean, what was that?"

"That Sammy was me sticking my tongue down Castiels' throat. Happy answer?"

Sam was admittedly a little taken aback. He knew what his brother could be like, but he rarely snapped at him.

"Sammy, I'm sorry... I... This isn't the usual situation."

"I know Dean, just. Let's just move on, I think we have a case."

Sam took Dean inside to explain about another case of vampires. Dean barely paid attention, his mind was off, flourishing in thoughts of Castiel and the experience with him he had just had. His mind wondering back to that moment he gave up trying to stop feeling this way, back to the time it had been just him and Cas. Sam had gone out to the library, and Cas was watching over him, and they did nothing but talk, and actually talk. Cas didn't do any of his mysterious crap, and cryptic nonsense. He sat and talked, and Dean loved it. He remembers how his hair had looked, how in the first time for a while Cas didn't look haggard, his eyes didn't look sad. He sat and a had one, or two, or maybe a few beers with Dean.

"Dean, are you even listening?" Sam signed, knowing full well what the answer was going to be, but he couldn't sit and watch as his brother went off of on some day dream about Castiel. Again, it started to happen too often. He wasn't aware that it was Castiel that Dean went off on a day dream about; he had his feelings, but could never be certain. Until this afternoon anyway.

"Wha... What? Sorry Sammy. Vampires, stakes, kill the bastards. Got it." Dean didn't even care, he just wanted Castiel back, he wanted to carry that kiss on, wanted to see how far he could the angel to go. How much he could teach him...

Cas was talking to Sam in the corner of the room by the time Dean brought himself back to reality. He looked up wanting to speak to the angel so badly, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He was embarrassed.

"Dean! Ermmm... Hi?" Cas asked him questioningly, not sure what the usual procedure was for humans after an interaction like the one between Dean and himself.

"Hi. I've... I've gotta go...ermm bye" Dean felt his face burn red. Why couldn't he simply speak to the man he had just had his hands all over. It hadn't even been an hour since but he couldn't help but not look at the angel. Dean headed towards the door, but was stopped by Cas. He hadn't appeared in front of him, but simply grabbed his arm, preventing Dean from moving on. He wanted to leave, but he loved the grip that the angel had on him, the same hand that had hold of him earlier...

"No, I've gotta... bye." He grabbed the shirt nearest to him and pushed Cas off of him. He saw the hurt in Cas's eyes. He was confused, he couldn't seem to understand why Dean was acting as he was, and in all honesty Dean wasn't even sure himself.

"Dean, please...I don't... I don't understand how to carry this on. This is... it's new to me."

"yeah well, neither do I. Now back off."

Dean didn't mean to snap at Castiel, he really didn't. This was mostly his fault, if he recalled correctly he kissed the angel first.

"And... no angel magic stuff, appearing wherever I am. I don't want either of you around got that?"

With that Dean just slammed the door shut and went out to his baby. He could see himself and Castiel pressed against her, holding each other, pouring themselves into each other, he could feel tears forming in his eyes.

"the fuck are you crying for, you wimp."

He spoke to himself, ignoring the memories than shown replayed themselves in front of his eyes. He didn't know how to cope with the feelings he was experiencing. He just couldn't bring himself to admit that he loved the angel. He couldn't do that kind of commitment, especially in his line of work. It just didn't work. So Dean headed to a bar and fixed his problems the only way he could. He found comfort in the bottom of the bottle, forgetting that the only way home was to call Cas. He couldn't drive drunk.