CHAPTER 2:
MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH...
Sonic, Blaze, and Eggman were laughing over a likely story Sonic was telling. It was about the time Sonic wished for a mountain of hankercheifs.
"... And- and then? Oh yeah! Instead of wishing for something ininitely better, like the ability to grant my own wishes or having all the world's problems fixed, I wished for a mountain of hankerchiefs just to humor her. She thought I was pitying her but TO HELL WITH THAT!"
The group had a whole hearty laugh for a nice moment. This moment of cheerfulness was ended abruptly when Sonic stopped laughing suddenly.
"What's wrong?" Blaze asked, laying down.
"Look, what's that?" Sonic said, looking to the sky.
Both Eggman and Blaze traced his eyes to where he was looking; a rainbow-spewing poptart cat in the process of atmospheric re-entry. It was heading in at an angle, and it looked like it was heading for them.
At that moment, Sonic stood up and shouted "WATCH OUT, IT'S GONNA CRASH! AAH!"
But no, as it was getting closer to the ground, it curved up, nd soarered RITE ovr deir heds, liek 2 feat. it wass a epic miss. Blazz wachet from ground as Nyan cat flew at over 9000 miiles perhowre towrd stitan squaer.
"AGEN?", Sonic scream at top of lung. ""
"DER MUST BE ANOTHER!" Bloz shooted.
"AND POROBABLY EEVN MOAR!" Egmun shreiked like little girl.
"This es frustration!" Sonic shouted, as the distortion settled. "Why does the story keep turning to us? What happened to Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow? AGH"
Sonic randomly started making out with Blaze. What? The story needs romance, hear it is. Alright?
"Wait a minute..." Eggman said, looking at the ground. He lifted the picnic blanket and saw- HOLY SHIT WHAT THE KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK IS THAT.
MEANWHILE...
"DAMN IT TAILS, YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T LIKE BEING IN THE CLOSET WITH THIS EMO FAGGOT!" Knuckles shouted.
"I'M NOT EMO GODDAMN!" Shadow retorted.
"So...you're a faggot?" Knuckles questioned.
"SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, YOU HAD EVERY CHANCE WITH ROUGE." Shadow retorted.
Tails was sick and tired of being the sidekick. And now was his chance to shine. Before him stood a recolor, a monster, a terrible creature created by the effects of the plot device when it had passed by. And it was annoying.
"OMG HAITAILZ ITS MEEE, GANJA DA HEDGEHOG, WE KNOW EACH OTHERRR!" The MONSTROCITY of a living being squealed.
"I thought we killed all of you before..." Tails said, clenching his fists.
"OH YUS, YUU DID, BUT III'M DIFFERENT! I CAME FROM UR MEMORYS!
"Who would have memories of...of...you?" Asked Shadow.
"OH, dat's what I said to soem MEPHILIFISIS GUY. He was mean. ;~;"
Tails was confused. "Who?"
"MEPHALIFISIS, though I call him O'mally. He said he caem from suppressored memries within you guys, JUST LIKE ME! except he was meen and no one loves him but he looks kinda cool I mean he looks all CRYSTALLY nd COOL nd HE LOOKS JUST LIKE SADOW."
"...Sadow?" Shadow asked hatefully.
Tails was curious. "Did you ask why we remember him, or why we don't?"
"Oh, he was... BEING MEAN TO YOU ALL, and tried getting this GOLD guy to hurt you and your friends, but something went really wrong along the way, two people kissed, and then he wished he had forggotten it all LIKE YOU DID!"
"...Gold? Do you mean Silver?" Knuckles asked annoyed.
"YUS YUS I mean Silver I's sorry." Apologized the mentally retarded recolor.
"Alright, that's enough out of you. " Tails stated.
SO THEN TAILS GRABBED A CHAINSAW AND...
"STOP STOP STOP" Yelled a dorky looking kid.
"WHY? THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT PREPUBESCENT FOX HAS DONE ALL DAY!" Shadow yelled.
"Ok, look, I'm one of the writers, and I KNOW none of us wrote in your memories of 06. What happened?", Cola (this guy's name is Cola by the way. Agh, now I'm talking in the 3rd person. Make it stoooooop)
"But...but 06 makes everything better!" A Young kid with some school medal said.
"STOP." God said, tearing a hole in the sky and ceiling with his hands. "SONIC 06 WAS BAD, I ADMIT IT. THAT'S WHY I ERASED EVERYONE'S MEMORIES OF IT. I don't want to remember it either. Nerdy children, do NOT explain '06, it is for the better. Besides, in order to make up for that catastrophe, I wrote this up. Okay carry on"
"Ah, finally! I can get outta here! Although, quality fanfictions do have author insertions. Tell you what, I'll just pop in every now and then. Alright?", said Cola.
"But, we created a crack fic." Shrugged the kid stranger, Xenos.
"NO IFs, ANDs, OR BUTTS, XENOS", yelled Cola. "We're keeping the story from advancing."
"Yes you are. NOW CARRY ON."
The sky, and with it the ceiling, closed as God pulled them shut. Cola and Xenos swiftly ran out of the apartment. Oh yeah, and before that, Cola turned himself into a T-Rex and busted a huge hole in the ceiling. FUCK YEAH.
"Now..." Tails said. "Back to business."
SO TAILS GRABBED THE CHAINSAW AND...
BACK WITH SONIC, BLAZE, AND EGGMAN...
As Eggman stared down at what the hell he just found, Sonic and Blaze were discussing their past adventures...
"And remember when we started boosting towards eachother?" Sonic asked.
"Towards eachother...?" Blaze looked up to let her memories roll.
"HEY! I WAS THERE TWO!", Eggman shouted in the background.
{FLASHBACK}
As both cat and hedgehog was burning with wind and fire respectively, they charged and clashed head first.
"Give up! You won't stop me from my goal!" Blaze claimed.
"...You may know everything I'm going to do..." Sonic started.
"But that's not going to help you, since I know everything YOU'RE going to do! STRRRRANGE, ISN'T IT?"
"GRRRRRREEEGHH!" Sonic growled as he picked up the pace.
"Wait...what?" Blaze said, confused.
{END FLASHBACK}
Blaze looked back at Sonic with a skeptical face. "Why... did you say that, anyway?"
"Cuz I'm sanc" said Sonic, arms folded in pure sexy glory. He had his foot prodded on a small purple rock, which startled a group of nearby fans and started an entire argument built on this movement.
"... I THINK I FOUND A PLOT DEVICE!" Egguman told them. "There wuz a reason you 2 were acting up..."
The heros stood around device, looking at it.
"It's very small..." Blaze said.
"THATS WHAT SHE SAIIIID!" Sonic shouted.
"But shes rite, it ISS samller than other Plot Devieces. Their effect isn't as sever, but still can corrupt minds to the poeweress of WHOEVER THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE."
Blaze suddenly wanted to burn a small piece of wood and light yarn on fire. But she forgot about it.
"Is i poible to desteroy thees plotz deviciz?" She asked.
"Weeellllllll, loking at it, it seems to be coatled with a laiyer of some sort... Ah, yes. Plot Armor. It's a safe bet thatthis cannot be destroyed normaly this is our best chance at destrying others"
"Haow iz eet?" Sonic asked.
"Its seemple, plot devices destroy plot devices! Hat or a mary sue. Or gAry stu. Fahnny, you should know."
"HAY!" Sonic shuted, taking ofense to that. "Can we tawk normal?"
Eggman stuvved the Plot Device into picanic bakset and wrapped blanket around it. It seemed to subdue the weak forces.
"Well, now that we got that out of the way, what do we do now?" Eggman asked.
"I say we should follow that cat, thing..." Blaze dragged on, getting lost in thought. "... Sonic, you told me about a "Big" character...?"
Sonic shook his head. "Oh, no, Big is purple. And not a pop tart. Though, he's just as stupid. And how about getting my goddamn groceries. I have a surprise birthday party I need to get stuff for. Why the hell did we have this picnic anyway?"
"Uh, gorrilla, you two saved me, decided to celebrate?" Blaze refreshed his mind.
"What if that was just some Plot Device induced hallucination? I mean, that was friggin' Donkey Kong, and it was Mario who did that, not- Oh yeah I'm wearing these overalls."
Eggman got in between them. "Bah, whatever. The thing is, Sonic, there are bigger things than birthday party preparations to deal with. Can't the groceries wait?"
"... Oh, hell with it. Sure. But you're paying."
"But I need the money for another evil death trap to kill you!" the doctor replied.
"YOU'RE. PAYING.", Sonic snapped angrily.
And so the quartet of Sonic, Blaze, Eggman and Metal Sonic packed up their picnic and began heading toward Station Square. They had no idea what twisted reality they were in for... But they were prepared.
They were so prepared. Nothing could distract them from their mis-
"HEY LOOK A BAKbbbKERY", everyone yelled saimootaneously.
They enterred the bakrey, and sitting at able was Trawn Guy with bag of beagles and plot device. Tron Gai looked sad.
"There's one of em" Sanic wispred to Bloze.
"A BLOO BLOO BLOO BLOO" weeped he tron guy, making a face like :((((((
"oh god he has sex frowns" Sunic whispered.
"Hey, waht happen, meestar?", the Eggmun siad.
"I GAWN CRAAZYYYY!11!" Trun guy whaled. "I KEEP SEAING AND HEREING CWUAZY STAHF! TEH GARMMER AND TA SPALLNING AN TEH STAWRY!"
"MAEK ET STAAAAAWP!", he craid.
Sanic pointed at poot device. "DAT DEVICE ES DOINK IT! GEEV IT 2 US!"
"but its pretty pretty shiney shiney and luks like me ;_;"
"Butt Trawn Gui, if yuu doesnt give us plot device, yuu will have stay liek this for the farever!", Bleza sayd.
cying, he slammed faceinto bag of bugles and sang sad songs of sadness.
"AW WEO IT IS MEEEEEEE :CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC" Yalled trun gyu.
Sudenly John Freeman who was gorden freemans brother runned into bakrey and bumped into tran guys plut device. john Freeman went puuf alung with his plut decive, restaring everything to nurmal, slowly but surely. Sonic and the crew were relatively stunned.
"Oh my GOD." Sonic shouted. He turned to Blaze to ask "Did you see the MOUTHS on that motherfucker?" Blaze was petrified.
"I'm curious as to how he ate those bagles..." Eggman wondered.
"WHY." Metal Sonic asked loudly, not expecting an answer.
After shaking the thoughts nightmare fuel they had just observed out of their heads, they began to talk about the Plot Device's weaknesses.
"Well, it seems even if a plot device touches another, it destroys it, as well as its holder." Eggman stated. "Or, possibly, sends them to another plane of existence." [author's note: When destroyed, both holders go to Sonic '06, and must stay until it ends and time resets. Then they are sent back.]
"Another plane of existence..." Sonic repeated, thinking.
Eggman was too curious. "... Are you going anywhere with that thought or-"
"Say, can we stop by my apartment? I need to pick up a couple things before we go trying to take on other plot devices."
"Sure." Blaze said.
The doctor was all too excited for the hedgehog to lead him to his apartment. "Ooh, and what may you be wanting to fetch from your apartment?"
Sonic thought for a moment.
{FLASHBACK}
Sonic was bored. He had fairly recently restored the entire world from being broken into seven pieces and its core, by Eggman. The usual timespan between adventures was two weeks, so he had plenty of time to kill. He was looking through boxes of stuff he didn't really use anymore, when he came across a book. It was a thick, black hardcover book. Sonic flipped it over to look at the title.
"KING ARTHUR AND THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE"
"Oh yeah," Sonic said. "This is one of those books that Tails gave me for my birthday last year. I read one of them while on vacation, got sucked in, and I never touched another. You know, what are the odds that all of these books are like that? You know what,"
Sonic took the book out to his living room area. On the counter next to the couch, two chillidogs lay waiting for him. He laid down on the couch, and opened the book.
Within a second both Sonic and his chillidogs were gone.
...
About five hours in real time later, the book shot open, and out came Sonic. He shook his head as he got up. Sonic looked back at the book. He went on some crazy adventure defeating the Knights of the Round Table with the help of a talking sword. He got ripped out of reality to do it. He looked at the clock, and noticed only five hours passed.
But he had spent five days in the book.
It was then Sonic realize the book might actually have some practical use.
{END FLASHBACK}
"Oh... things that'll be helpful." Sonic admitted.
END OF CHAPTER 2.