The Human Cure
Chapter 8: Cosmic Love
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is Harry Potter related, except for my books and DVD's.
A/N: Thanks again for all of your feedback. I truly do appreciate reading those lovely comments. It seems that things are starting to heat up between our pair, and things will only get better. This chapter was written after many repeated listens to Florence + the Machine's "Cosmic Love." It's my favorite song of hers. Now on to the story!
"And in the dark I can hear your heartbeat, I tried to find the sound. But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness, so darkness I became."
Florence & the Machine, "Cosmic Love"
Severus Snape stared at the woman in front of him in absolute disbelief. For the first time in her life, Hermione saw him rendered speechless. Still confused, she observed the two and their interactions with each other.
"You're…you're…"
"Human." Judith replied.
Now remembering whom the redhead was, Hermione joined Severus in incredulous shock at the knowledge that the vampire that created Severus was now standing in the sun. No scars. No pain. Nothing at all. Her skin had color to it, and her eyes shined.
"How?" Hermione replied. "How is it possible?"
"I don't understand Judith. How can it be?" Severus was utterly and totally confused.
All the while he kept staring at Judith, almost as if she would disappear at any minute. Hermione noticed that he wanted to touch her, but held himself back. The shock on his face didn't change one bit, and Hermione wondered if a part of him fell in love with her all over again. Trying not to let such envy take over her thoughts, she could only pay attention to their conversation.
"That would take more time to explain than I have available at this very moment I'm afraid, but yes, I am human again."
"The child?" Severus asked.
"She's mine." Judith said, her eyes gleaming. "Her name is Abigail."
"You adopted her?" Severus slowly asked.
"No, I gave birth and it hurt like hell." Judith responded. There was a humor to her that Severus never knew existed. It was almost as if a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. A personality that once was selfish and careless was now its total opposite.
Hermione looked at the former vampire, turned human, who was now clutching a child that obviously adored its mother. Tears almost sprang to her eyes as she observed the two, still being more confused than ever. When Judith threw her beaming blue eyes in Hermione's direction, she decided to introduce herself.
"I'm sorry! My name is…"
"I know who you are Miss Granger. It's fancy seeing you here in the muggle world. I would have thought you would have been running the Ministry by now. You are indeed a truly brilliant witch."
Hermione looked down at the cement, wanting to change Judith's word from "are" to "were."
Judith continued, "I'm sorry that we had to meet under such circumstances, but my husband is inside waiting for us. Would it be possible for us to meet another day, perhaps tomorrow evening at this restaurant? Their chicken marsala is amazing! You really need to get home; the sun is starting to affect you Severus." Judith spoke with regret hanging in her eyes.
"That would be great." Hermione spoke, knowing that Severus wasn't capable of words in that moment.
He didn't even notice the slight blistering of his skin, almost as if he was recovering from really bad sunburn. Still speechless, he nodded at her request and watched as his creator walked into the bistro, carrying her child that she was able to conceive and give birth to but not before hearing the two women in his company arrange a specific time. He gripped the chair that he was standing next to, not sure if he was experiencing an awfully surreal and cruel joke.
Hermione, noticing his shock, gently grabbed his arm and directed him.
"Come now Severus. Let's get you back to my flat."
"Mine is closer. Can we go there?" Severus asked, now feeling the effect the bright sun was having on him.
"We can go wherever you want." She replied.
With the tube ride, they were less than ten minutes from his flat on Finchley Road. Hermione stood in front of him as he sat in order to offer some barrier from the stares she was worried he would receive. After getting off the lift in his building and into his flat, Hermione guided Severus, who by now was close to limping, into his bedroom.
"Do you have any blood?" Hermione asked, knowing that would heal him the fastest.
"You know where to find it." Severus responded.
As Hermione walked into the kitchen, Severus almost wished that she would have offered her own blood. It had been days and he still couldn't get the taste of her out of his memory. He tried to forget with every type he could request and hope that it could somehow flush her particular taste out of his mouth. Even the nastiness of type AB couldn't get rid of it. Oh how he wished, but as she approached him with a mug and helped him sit up, he realized that she was too precious to him to be just some demented form of a quick snack.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Hermione watched as he devoured what was in the mug, thankful that she took the time to warm it up for him. He didn't let a drop escape, and miraculously his skin began to heal itself. Intrigued but remorseful, Hermione hung her head in shame.
"I'm sorry about today. All of this could of have been prevented if I would have paid more attention to the bloody weather."
"But I wouldn't have seen her." Severus replied.
With that, she looked up at him, tears in her eyes. There was no anger towards Hermione in his voice; he was still in shock with all that he had seen only moments ago.
"Do you need me to get you anything else?" Hermione asked, finally noticing how cold it was in his flat.
"This thing will pass; it's sort of like a migraine – one must just sleep it off."
And with that, he closed his eyes and appeared to be asleep in a matter of seconds. Not knowing what to do, Hermione grabbed the empty mug on the bedside table and brought it back to the kitchen. It gave her a chance to collect herself. After washing and setting it aside, she walked down the hallway and observed what she could of his flat. His book collection rivaled hers, and while she expected him to be a minimalist in terms of decorating his home, it still felt like a home should. It wasn't dreary like she thought it would be, but she could tell that he wasn't a huge fan of the sunlight given that just about every window had curtains.
Walking back into his bedroom, Severus still hadn't moved in his sleep. She watched his slumber as she knew he sometimes did her. Still curious about the fact that his chest didn't rise or fall, she observed him in such a state where he appeared to be vulnerable. It was the opposite of what she had always known of her former professor. Even though he was a vampire, she felt that he still was human in some odd way and now there appeared to be a solution to his condition. Her eyes began to well again with tears. What if he could be cured? What would happen after that? Would she still have her friend? Would he still watch over her? She feared the loss of the connection they had formed. Knowing and fearing that everything in their world was about to change, tears began to form in Hermione's eyes. Whether or not it was for the better, she still didn't truly know.
Not thinking about her actions and what implications they could possess, Hermione crawled into the bed, making sure there was enough space between the two. She observed him as he lay so still, and just as a tear began to slide down her cheek, he opened his eyes and noticed her beside him. Not knowing what to say or do, he too lay on his side and stared at her as he slowly reached out and stopped the tear from sliding all the way down. His skin was going back to what she had always remembered, and rather than have them talk about their new discovery, Hermione closed her eyes and heard the voice of Severus gently give her permission to sleep. As she gave into the pull of it, she could feel his cold finger catch another tear.
As Severus lay in bed hours later, he couldn't get over the shock of knowing that what was once a very powerful vampire now appeared to be a human. Judith was married; she had a little girl. She still was as beautiful as she was years ago, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she did age a few years. Maybe it was a trick? Severus didn't want to believe that such luck would finally be bestowed up him.
He could feel the fear Hermione possessed about what possible changes were in, not just his, but their future. She feared he would pull away from her. He didn't know how he could prove her wrong in that moment, but only moved closer to her and gently draped his arm around her. He fell asleep knowing that it would only be a matter of hours before he received the answers he had waited so long for.
XX
"I was a vampire for over two hundred years." Judith said as she held Abigail in her lap, her knees softly bouncing the child. Hermione noticed that she had her mother's flaming red hair, but the hazel eyes must belong to her father.
"I suppose I got tired of the nomadic existence, and pining for something that I could never have." She continued.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but how did you become human?" Hermione asked, as she pushed her salad around with her fork.
"I fell in love." Judith stated bluntly. "I fell in love, and rather than change him, he changed me."
Severus was starting to get irritated as he listened to the conversation. He wasn't hungry and only ordered a glass of wine, but earlier as he watched Judith order both an appetizer and an entrée, he knew that there had to be some credit to her words.
"That doesn't explain anything Judith." Severus quipped. "You make it sound like you woke up with a heartbeat."
"No, it's a gradual process."
"Could you explain it to us?" Hermione asked, still pushing around her salad.
"When you are in love, things change. One could say pheromones. Another could say hormones. But still, something changes. I met Drew and things changed."
"Did he know that you were a vampire?" Hermione asked.
"He didn't know at first, but eventually I did have to reveal myself. It was an accident really; I bit him when we first made love." Judith said, almost with embarrassment in her eyes. "I had some explaining to do, but he accepted me for all that I was. He was the first person to do that."
"I accepted you." Severus responded with tension in his voice.
"Yes, but that was different."
"Yes, you left me." Severus added, the tension giving way to anger.
Hermione, not knowing how else to respond, gently placed her hand on his shoulder blade as a sign of reassurance. If he noticed or if it helped – she would never truly know.
"I know." Judith responded.
Those were the only words of comfort she could offer.
"Forgive me for sounding so skeptical, but this sounds like some cheesy muggle romantic movie." Severus added irritably.
"I felt something different the first time I tasted Drew's blood. I thought I was going crazy to be quiet honest, but we had known each other for some time and he was someone I truly wanted to know and be with. Nothing much happened the first few times I drank from him, but I began to notice that I could tolerate the sun much more. The color in my cheeks lasted longer, and then there was the night when I felt my heartbeat again." Judith was on the verge of tears now. "Imagine going on in life for years without hearing such a thing, and then it returns."
She grabbed Severus' hand and placed it on her heart. Before he quickly pulled his hand away his eyes widened, and Hermione immediately knew what it signified.
"What you are saying is that Severus must drink repeatedly from someone in order to become human again?" Hermione asked.
"Not just anyone Hermione. He must drink from someone that he is in love with. Someone for whom he would be willing to die without a moment's hesitation, but also someone who would be willing to make the same sacrifice for him. Love changes things, people, and in the case of a vampire…blood."
"How long did it take before you were completely transformed?" Severus asked.
"I'm not too sure. I didn't take his blood everyday. Drew had to recover such things, but if I had to guess, I would say close to a year. I suppose it depends on the feelings that are possessed. I didn't realize that I was truly human again until I ended up pregnant."
"Do you still crave it?" Hermione asked, quietly.
"Not really. I always order my steaks well done." Judith said, smiling.
"There has to be some sort of catch. It cannot be this easy!" Severus said.
"The simplicity of it is what makes it so amazing Severus. How many years have you wandered around, taking whatever someone was willing to give, or better yet, taking without consent? Most, if not all vampires, are lonely souls because they believe there is no one out there who will accept them for them."
"But vampires have taken human lovers before!" Severus stated, reminding Hermione that he had done such a thing at one time.
"Yes, but how many do you know of that fell for them? It's a small number because most vampires don't believe that true love still can exist. They believe that it dies when one is given the kiss of immortality. If one can accept you for who you truly are and love you nonetheless for it, then that person is the one who can bring you back to life." Judith replied.
"How come you haven't spread this tidbit of information around then?" Severus asked. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who has grown bored, and what about your husband? How could he have been so accepting of you?"
"Severus, you were never this jaded when we were companions."
"You said it yourself…things change."
"Love is the hardest thing to find, and once it has been found, it's the hardest thing to keep in your grasp. Honestly Severus, how many vampires out there do you think have the patience for it? It's ironic, yes? You have all the time in the world, but the patience is never there. Besides, from what I've encountered with our lot vampires are not only impatient and stubborn, but they have also become very cynical which is almost the most tragic characteristic of them all. Drew, well with him I suppose I lucked out. I couldn't stand the thought of manipulating his memory, and he can keep a secret. Besides, muggles don't believe in vampires."
"I loved you." Severus whispered.
Hermione felt his pain, but knew to let him handle the closure of it all.
"I did too for a long time, but I could never completely love you the way you loved me. That was why I left you."
"I want to believe you; I want to believe that I can change." Severus whispered.
"I don't blame you for doubting me, but after I gave birth I knew that my old life was over. I now understand what back pain feels like after carrying Abigail around all day. I have spotted a few laugh lines in the mirror. A paper cut takes days to heal rather than minutes. Now that I know what I have here, I could never go back to that world and that way of thinking."
"Do you think you are in danger?" Hermione asked.
"No. My life is here now. Mind you, I do keep up with what's going through The Daily Prophet, but that is all. I was so willing to become a vampire because I was afraid of death, but now I see the foolishness of that decision. I killed a lot of people and basked in that power, and it is something I can't take back. Severus, I once believed that I gave you that choice, but I never truly did, and for that I will forever be sorry, but you now have a chance to end this all. You have a chance to live again."
The tube ride and walk back to Hermione's flat was uneventful in that they were both trying to process every bit of information that was given to them. Judith gave both Hermione and Severus her number if either one had any more questions.
As they walked into her flat, Hermione looked at Severus as he hung his jacket next to the entrance. They both looked at each other for a few seconds.
"So, all we have to do is find someone to fall in love with you." Hermione stated, almost laughing.
She blushed when she noticed the way he looked at her. An uncomfortable, but welcomed feeling stirred in her stomach. It was then that she realized that she wanted to be that person, and the thought of it scared her.
"Apparently so." Severus replied, realizing for the first time that he held out a sliver of hope for a cure.
"I'm going to go bed now." Hermione stated. As she started walking towards her room, he heard her wish him a good night.
XX
Hours later she could feel him in her room, watching her slumber. It was on those nights when he had too much on his mind, and his usual routine of things was shaken up. The more he watched her, the more he pined for her. He wanted to touch her flesh, taste her lips, and hear her voice experiencing pleasure. He wanted her blood and wanted to drink away the shame of it.
He knew that she knew he was there. Her back facing him, he still sat there and watched her. The realization of Judith's revelation was dawning on the both of them. She had known that he visited her at night when he couldn't sleep or was confused about their work, but now she could think of no other explanation of the dreams of a figure. There was a part of her that just wanted to let him pretend that she was still sleeping, hoping that he would make an exit, but he never did.
Knowing it was now or never, she turned over in her bed as quietly and naturally as she could, catching him slightly off guard as she looked at him with wide, open eyes.
"Severus?" Hermione asked.
Truly embarrassed, he quickly stood up, hoping that she wouldn't be offended.
"I'm sorry Hermione. I…" He looked at her bovine eyes as she stayed in her bed. She didn't look offended, but rather touched that he was there, in her room, watching her sleep.
"It's alright." She softly spoke as she continued to lie in bed, not moving. She observed him, and rather than wait for her to say anything else, he slowly approached.
He could feel her heartbeat quicken as he slowly took step after step towards her. She was there, a lamb to the slaughter almost, not knowing what he would do next. The two just looked at each other, acknowledging that they could no longer deny what possibly existed between them.
There was a chill to the room, one that made her clutch the comforter a little closer to her. He paused as he reached her bed; the two continuing to stare at one another.
"I don't want to hurt you." Severus whispered - worry in his voice.
"You won't." Hermione replied, trust evident in her voice and position.
"I want to kiss you." Severus declared lightly as he kneeled next to her bed and moved his face closer and closer to hers. He didn't ask her permission as he lightly placed his lips against hers. He didn't force her, just took the time to enjoy the sensation of her lips against his. She softly began to trace the contours of his face as the two continued to kiss each other.
He was the first to release her lips from his as he pulled her up into a sitting position in front of him. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he couldn't think of anything to say to her. She only smiled at him, and in that moment, the only way he knew how to respond was by pulling her body into his on the floor that he was now sitting on. He cradled her, as if to protect her from everything that could ever harm her, himself even. He was trying to memorize her smell and the way she leaned against him. The way she took in a breath, just as he did the way she exhaled it out. The rhythm was too hypnotic. He held her like that for the rest of the night.