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Chapter 5- Big girls don't cry
The sun was shining brightly onto her face. She had a terrible headache from all the crying last night. She sighed and sat up. She knew that her parents wouldn't want her to be sad, but she can't help it at all. She opened the door and walked out into the living room to see Takuto asleep on the couch. She blushed at how cute he was.
"He stayed here all night?" She whispered walking over to him and kneeling down. She brushed his hair out of his eyes. He was so amazing, any girl would be lucky to have someone as great as him. She smiled sadly at him and remembered what happened yesterday clearly.
"He doesn't love me back." She whispered feeling tears in her eyes. She suddenly clutched her shirt where her heart was.
"No I have to be strong." She whispered standing up and taking a deep breath. She pulled a blanket over Takuto and walked into the kitchen.
"Hmm, what should I make for us?" She murmured looking around the cabinets. She pulled out some pancake mix and started to cook blueberry pancakes. She hummed quietly to herself as she moved swiftly around the kitchen. Honestly, Mitsuki hadn't gotten any sleep last night. She had stayed up thinking hard on how she was going to live, and where. She prayed to her parents, and then she wrote a little song, to give herself courage.
"I hope you know I hope you know, that this has nothing to do with you. Its personal, myself and I, we've got some straightening out to do. And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, and I've got to get a move on with my life, it's time be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry." She sang softly to herself. She heard clapping from behind her. She wiped around to see Takuto leaning against the wall with a smile on his face.
"Did you write that?" He asked. She blushed and nodded. Takuto walked over to her and turned off the stove and sat her down in a chair.
"Mitsuki, why are you making breakfast?" He asked calmly. She looked up at him innocently.
"Because I knew you would be hungry." She said. He sighed.
"Mitsuki, are you ok? How are you doing right now?" He asked sitting in a chair himself. She looked down at her hands.
"I'm sad, and I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel that if I try to go somewhere, I will just be going in a circle. But, I have to stay strong, my parents would never want to see me like I was last night. I miss them so much already, and hurts that I will never be able to talk, or hug, or do anything with them ever again. It just really hurts." She said feeling a tear slide down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and smiled. Takuto took her hands in his.
"Mitsuki, I get what you are saying, but no one ever expects you to be strong. You can cry and be weak all you want and no one will judge you. I know how it is to lose your parents, it's really hard. And I know you really feel like crying right now, but you're holding it in aren't you?" He asked. Mitsuki looked at him in awe.
"How did you know?" She whispered. He just smiled.
"Because, one it's written on your face, and two, I just happen to know you that well." He said.
"It's alright to cry Mitsuki, I promise that I will stay with you for as long as I can." He said. She smiled.
"Thank you, but then, where do I go? I can't stay in this house? I can't afford it." She said. He smirked.
"Did you forget that we are debuting soon?" He asked. Her face lit up.
"I forgot about that!" She said. He chuckled. What was Mitsuki, to him? Was she a friend, a sister, or something more? He looked at her as the glow started to come back in her eyes.
"Mitsuki, sing to your parents. Connect to them through your lyrics." He said. She smiled and nodded.
"I will." She said. He smiled at her glad that she was feeling better. He then suddenly remembered the phone call from last night.
"Mitsuki, a guy named Dr. Wakaouji called last night. He said that he got to speak to your father before he passed." Takuto said slowly. She took a deep breath and nodded.
"What did he say?" She whispered. He could tell she was close to crying again.
"Me and your mother love you, and if we don't make it through, stay strong and sing to the heavens so we can hear you." He quoted. Mitsuki placed a hand over her mouth and a few tears fell. Takuto once again stood up and hugged her tightly. She sobbed quietly into his shoulder, until she finally calmed down.
"I love you Takuto." She whispered. He looked down at her surprised. Her small head was still hidden in the crook of his neck.
"Mitsuki," He whispered. She clutched onto his shirt tighter.
"Please just don't forget that, because it will never change." She said. He felt like such a jerk for rejecting her in the first place. But he was loyal and in love with Hikari, there was nothing he could do.
"I promise." He mumbled, feeling numb. The doorbell rang, making Mitsuki jump in his arms.
"Shh, it's ok, wait here, I will go see who it is." He said peeling her arms from around him. He went to the front door quickly and opened it.
"Hi, how is she doing?" Hikari asked holding up a bag. He smiled.
"She's very upset right now, but she's handling it better than I thought she would." He said closing the door behind her. Hikari hurried to the kitchen to see Mitsuki collapsed on the floor. She screamed and Takuto came running into the kitchen. He suddenly picked her up and led her to the couch.
"That idiot, she probably didn't sleep at all last night. She just fainted from exhaustion." He mumbled pulling a blanket over her.
"The poor girl." Hikari said with tears in her eyes. Takuto stood up next to her.
"Don't cry Hikari, it will only make her cry, you need to stay strong too." He said hugging her. She nodded.
"I brought some stuff for Mitsuki, will you help me with it?" She asked. He nodded and they walked back into the kitchen. Hikari reached into the brown bag and pulled out a dozen yellow roses with white lilies. She also pulled out some candy and chocolate and a couple of funny movies and an envelope.
"Is all this really necessary?" He asked. Hikari nodded while looking through the cabinets for a vase.
"Candy, chocolates, flowers, movies and shopping is a girl's way to feel better." She said placing the flowers into a vase she had found.
"Shopping? Do you really think she will be up for that today?" He asked. She held up the envelope.
"This has money in it, she can use it on anything she wants. And when she wants to go shopping I will go with her." She said. Takuto smiled.
"Thank you Hikari, I'm sure she will really appreciate it." He said kissing her cheek.
"Oh, are you comfortable staying here after what happened yesterday?" She asked. He looked back into the living room.
"I haven't even really thought about that, the first thing that just came to my mind was to help her and make sure she was happy again." He said. Hikari looked at him with no expression.
"What?" He asked. She shook her head.
"Nothing," She mumbled with a sad smile. 'He really does love her.' She thought. They both heard Mitsuki crying out in her sleep.
"She's having a nightmare." Takuto said running into the living room to wake her up. She opened her eyes only to see blue ones right in front of her. She jumped nearly hitting his head.
"Don't surprise me like that." She mumbled sitting up.
"Don't collapse again because you didn't get enough sleep." He argued back. She blushed.
"How do you know that?" She asked. He raised his eyebrow.
"Because, one you look exhausted, and two, why else would you collapse?" He asked.
"Ok fine, I didn't sleep at all last night. And you like to list things off don't you?" She said sitting up. He pushed her back down gently.
"Well if you want your parents to stay happy up there you need to take care of yourself." He said. Hikari was watching from the door way. He was so gentle with her. She was almost positive that he actually did love her, he just didn't realize it himself. Yes, Hikari loved Takuto very much, but did she see herself being with him in the future? What if he wanted to get married? Something that she wasn't looking for? Maybe, Takuto and Mitsuki were meant for each other more than Hikari was with him. She sighed and looked at Takuto.
"I'll wait for a bit." She mumbled to herself.
"Oh Mitsuki, Hikari is here." Takuto said turning around to face her.
"Hi Mitsuki, how are you doing?" She asked walking over. Mitsuki only nodded her head slowly. She then looked back up at the two. 'They do look perfect for each other. And I know that they both love each other very much.' She thought.
"Takuto, would you like to take a shower and change into some different clothes? Since you were stubborn and didn't dry off last night, you are probably going to catch a cold." Mitsuki said.
"I brought a change of clothes for you." Hikari said holding up the bag. Takuto rolled his eyes and took the bag.
"What are you my mother now?" He mumbled. Mitsuki giggled.
"No, the bathroom is that way." She said pointing in the hall. He smiled, happy that she was laughing. Once the door closed, Hikari sat down on the floor next to Mitsuki.
"Thank you for coming over Hikari." Mitsuki said with a smile. She nodded.
"I brought some stuff for you too, but I need to talk to you about something first." She said. Mitsuki nodded slowly.
"Do you really love Takuto?" She asked. Mitsuki looked taken aback, but then smiled.
"Yes, I do, more than anything." She said. Hikari smiled.
"Mitsuki, I've been thinking for a while, and I think I'm not going to stay with Takuto." She said. Mitsuki's eyes widened.
"You aren't going to do that just for me are you? Because if you are I'm going to have to hurt you." Mitsuki said.
"No, I'm doing it for myself, and him. I really do love Takuto, I just don't think I can spend the rest of my life with him, because I'm not really looking for marriage. Takuto is an amazing person, just not for me anymore." She said. Mitsuki looked at her surprised.
"It's funny because we've been together since the beginning of high school. And when I recognized him as the kid I had helped only five years ago, I immediately started to talk to him. I asked him out on a date, and he accepted it. And now do I remember, I kind of declared us boyfriend and girlfriend. So he was forced into it. But he started to fall for me slowly. But as we got older, he suddenly became serious, and mean and depressing to everyone except for me. And I had a feeling it had something to do with what happened to him that day I helped him. Don't get me wrong though, I really love Takuto, but it's kind of getting old now. I just feel as if we don't spend time with each other anymore, and that its time to move on. Do you think I'm making the right decision?" Hikari asked.
"Hikari, you should always follow your heart. I'm sure Takuto will understand everything if you just tell him slowly. And I'm sure that you and him will find someone perfect." Mitsuki said with a smile.
"But don't you want to be with him?" Hikari asked. Mitsuki nodded.
"I do, but he doesn't feel the same way anyway. And he can find someone better than me, because I know I could never be the right one for him." Mitsuki said. 'Oh how wrong you are.' Hikari thought taking her hand.
"That's not true Mitsuki, you've got to think positive." Hikari said. Mitsuki nodded.
"I know, but it's a fact Hikari, and I'm ok with it." She said. Takuto suddenly walked up.
"What are you ok with?" He asked. Hikari suddenly stood up surprised.
"Geez don't scare me like that!" She said slapping his arm slightly. He chuckled and kissed her cheek. Mitsuki looked away from them, feeling tears in her eyes. 'Stay strong Mitsuki.' She thought taking a deep breath.
"Takuto, I really need to talk to you." She heard Hikari say. Mitsuki looked at the two.
"Ok, what is it?" He asked. Hikari looked at me and I nodded with a smile and a thumbs up.
"Privately." She said.
"You can go into my room to talk if you want to." Mitsuki spoke up. Hikari mouthed thank you as the two walked by into her room. Mitsuki sighed once she heard the door close and got up to go to the kitchen. She smiled when she saw all the things that Hikari had brought over.
"Hikari, what's going on? What do we need to talk about?" Takuto asked watching the model sit down on Mitsuki's bed.
"Sit down Takuto." He obeyed her. It was quiet before she spoke up.
"Takuto, I love you very much, and I really hope you know that." She whispered. He took her hands.
"Of course I know that." He answered back.
"I have a question for you, do you plan on getting married and having a family?" She asked. His eyes widened and mouth opened.
"Yes, I do plan on it, where are you going with this?" He asked sounding slightly worried.
"You see Takuto, I don't want to get married, or have children. I've always thought that ever since I started my job. I've also realized that we don't spend much time together, and most of the feelings you have toward me lately are of lust." She said. Takuto looked down at the ground.
"I'm really sorry Hikari." He mumbled. She tilted her head slightly, waiting for him to continue.
"I just don't know what's wrong with me lately." He said.
"Don't apologize Takuto, I know you are just really stressed right now, and I know what it is about, but you don't know yourself." She said. He looked up at her.
"What do you mean?" He asked. She smiled softly.
"I'm sorry but you are going to have to figure that out on your own. Just listen to your heart and you'll figure it out. But anyway, I just think we should finally go our separate ways. It was nice while it lasted, but now, I just think we need to find other people." She said. He looked at her for a minute.
"How long have you felt like this?" He asked. She shrugged.
"About a year." She said. He chuckled.
"Wow, same here. I'm actually glad you brought it up, because I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to." He said. She smiled and they hugged.
"Just remember hurry up and pick, before you lose." Hikari said with a smirk walking out of the room. Takuto sat there trying to process what she said.
"Wait what?" He then chased after her.
"Hikari! What did you mean by that?" He asked. She just giggled.
"Figure it out." She said. They both looked around the room to see Mitsuki missing.
"Great, where did she go now?" He mumbled. They then both heard the soft singing.
"The path that I'm walkin', I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry."
Hikari understood all the words she sang. They were about Takuto, and her parents.
"Mitsuki, what did I tell you about cooking?" Takuto asked walking over to her. She jumped.
"God, don't scare me like that." She said. He just laughed.
"You are making this wrong." He said gesturing to the dish she was trying to make. She turned back to it and frowned.
"I could have sworn that I was doing it right." She mumbled. Takuto suddenly placed his arms over hers and guided her.
"Takuto what are you doing?" She managed to say. She felt him shrug.
"Helping you make lunch, I'm hungry, and you aren't doing any good." He said. Her shoulders dropped and she pouted.
"Jerk." She mumbled. The two started to argue. Hikari smiled at them. 'I definitely made the right choice.' She thought. 'Be strong Mitsuki, he will realize it sooner or later.'
"Hey you two, I got called into work. So I need to go. I wish I could stay longer though." She said. They both looked at her.
"Ok! Thank you so much for coming Hikari." Mitsuki said running over and hugged her tightly. 'So this is what it feels like to have a friend.' Mitsuki thought happily.
"Visit any time." She said. Hikari nodded and then left. Mitsuki turned around to face Takuto.
"Mitsuki, I'm going to live here with you until we can sell the house, and then we will find you an apartment." He said. Mitsuki blushed at the thought of Takuto being with her for so long.
"Takuto, you don't have to do that." She said. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Mitsuki, you need support from someone, you can't do everything alone." He said. She felt so tempted to kiss him again, but then she remembered the incident yesterday. She looked away from him.
"Thank you." She said quietly. He frowned and then realized how close they were and how it must be playing with her emotions. He was such an idiot sometimes.
"I'm sorry Mitsuki." He mumbled. She quickly wiped away the tear and looked up at him.
"It's ok, you didn't do anything. I'm going to go lay down for awhile, I'm not feeling very good." She said walking to her room quickly. He watched her go with worry etched on his face. He turned back to the lunch that she didn't finish cooking and decided she needed some space, so he went to the food first.
She was staring up at her ceiling. Takuto and Hikari probably broke up, considering Hikari lied about having to leave, and Takuto said only he was going to live with her.
"Hikari left so Takuto and I could be alone. But I already know nothing is going to happen. But now he's playing with my emotions." She said quietly to herself.
"Mom, dad, I wish you were here right now." She whispered feeling tears stream down her cheeks. There was a knock on the door.
"Mitsuki, I made lunch, do you want some?" He called out. She sighed and wiped away her tears.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." She answered him walking over to a mirror. It definitely looked like she had been crying. Takuto probably thinks she was so weak from bawling her eyes out so much. She cracked her door open. Takuto was nowhere in sight. She tried to run to the bathroom without him seeing her but she ran into him instead.
"What are you doing Mitsuki? Why are you trying to sneak around?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She didn't look at his face because he didn't want him to see her bloodshot eyes.
"No reason." She squeaked. She felt two fingers underneath her chin and her head was lifted so she was looking into his blue eyes.
"You've been crying." He said. Her eyes widened.
"And you are trying to hide it from me, why?" He asked softly. She felt her cheeks grow warm.
"That's none of your business." She huffed. He frowned.
"Mitsuki, please don't hide things from me, being alone when you cry doesn't help, there's no comfort in doing it. If you honestly think that I think you are weak because you've been crying, you are absolutely wrong. I never thought you were weak. In fact I always thought that you were the strongest, nicest person I had met." He said. She stared at him in awe. And without even thinking about it, she lightly pressed her lips against his again. He was still frozen and he didn't accept her, but he didn't push her away. She knew that he was only accepting it because she needed comfort. She pulled away slowly. His eyes hadn't closed, so he had watched her every movement.
"I'm sorry." She said covering her mouth with wide eyes.
"I wasn't thinking. I'm really sorry." She mumbled turning around to run back into her room, but he grabbed her arm.
"Mitsuki, you need to stop running away."He said quietly. She felt the tears fall down her cheeks. 'Why was he doing this?' She thought. He walked closer to her and turned her around. She avoided his eyes. He sighed and pulled her into his arms. He felt her clutch his shirt.
"Why are you doing this?" He heard her whisper. He hesitated with his answer.
"Doing what?" He asked back softly.
"Being so nice? Playing with my emotions?" She asked. He hugged her a little tighter.
"Because you need comfort, and I want to help you because I really care about you." He said avoiding the second question. She took in a deep breath, taking in the smell of his cologne.
"I really appreciate it Takuto, but you have your own life to live. You can't watch out for me all the time. I am an adult you know." She said.
"I know Mitsuki, but I am your singing partner now, which means I need to watch after you and make sure you take care of yourself so you are ready for our big concert in a week." He said.
"I forgot about that." She mumbled pulling out of his arms. He smiled.
"Well, it seems you've already written a song for yourself, and we only have one song together which means-"Which means you need to write a song mister! You're getting behind." She said poking him in the chest.
"Well, I still haven't heard the second one all the way." He said. She blushed and looked at the ground.
"That's because it isn't really finished. When I wasn't sleeping last night, I just thought of random lines, and when I sang it earlier, they had just come to me." She said.
"Ok then, why don't I help you then. I have to go pack all of my stuff to move here, so I'm going to leave for a bit. I should be back around four. Please don't do anything reckless." He said grabbing his keys. She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah I'm going to run out in the street and scream like an idiot." She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Wow, you really are a smart ass." He said. She just smiled and shook her head.
"Just hurry back ok?" She asked. He nodded and walked out the door. He looked back at the house before he started to walk back to his apartment. When he walked by all the stores, only did he realize what day it was.
"Hello sir, looking for some flowers for the lovely lady?" A man asked holding out a rose. Takuto shook his head. And then another thought popped into his mind.
"Hikari broke up with me on Valentine's day? Wow, never thought that would happen." He mumbled. He kept walking, and all of the red and pink was starting to make him sick. He never really liked Valentine's day, he thought it was pretty stupid. But a lot of people did enjoy it, especially the girls.
"Hey young man." An old lady called from the other side of the street. He pointed at himself and she nodded. He crossed the street and walked to her small booth.
"Here take this." She said handing him a banquet of pink lilies.
"Ma'am I can't accept this." He said. She shook her head.
"Nonsense, a good looking fellow like you should have a nice little lady." She said humming.
"No, I can't accept it because I don't have any money, and I actually don't have a girlfriend." He said. She smiled.
"It's free dear, I can sense that something is troubling you, and it has to do with a girl. So since that's my last banquet, I'm giving it to you to give to the girl." She said. He sighed.
"But the only reason I'm thinking about her is because I'm worried." He said putting the flowers back on the counter.
"Maybe so, but why do you care?" She asked with a smile. Takuto frowned and just grabbed the flowers and walked away.
"Have a good day!" The old lady said waving. Takuto rolled his eyes and was about to throw the lilies into a trashcan, but he stopped. Maybe the old woman did have a point. What if he did care about Mitsuki, he just didn't realize it himself? The thing that Hikari had said earlier had popped into his mind.
"Hurry up and pick before it's too late."
There's no way she could know, could she? He held onto the flowers tightly and kept walking to his apartment.
Mitsuki stared at the calendar.
"My parents died on Friday the thirteenth, and today is Valentine's day." She muttered and then sighed.
"I wish I had a boyfriend." She looked over at the clock and realized that Takuto had been gone for two hours, so it was now four in the afternoon.
"Takuto." She whispered, and then the doorbell rang. She nearly sprinted over there and opened the door to see Takuto with two bags, his guitar, and something else she couldn't see. He walked in and set everything down and then what was hidden came into view. It was a banquet of lilies.
"Here, some old lady gave them to me for free." He said handing them to her. She took them in her hands and plastered on a small smile.
"Thanks." She said turning her back to him and frowned. 'for nothing.' She added on mentally.
"So is that all you own?" She asked walking into the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. He followed behind her.
"No, but I can always drive back and get more if I wanted to." He said. She didn't answer him. It was dead quiet between the two for awhile.
"Do you want to work on the song?" He asked. She finally turned around to face him.
"Sure." She said walking over to her bedroom. He followed her with his guitar in hand. Once they were seated on the floor, it got quiet again.
"You know Mitsuki, if this is too awkward for you, I can leave." Takuto suggested. She shook her head.
"It's not that at all." She said. She looked over at him with a bright smile.
"I'm glad that you're here, you've helped me so much, if you hadn't of come last night, I would probably still be a wreck." She said. He just stared at her. They suddenly pressed their lips together, their tongues dancing. Takuto picked her up in his arms and set her on the bed. He started to slide the shirt off of Mitsuki's shoulders. She started to un-button his shirt and then threw it to the side. They both broke apart panting for air. Takuto looked away from her and then stood up, grabbing his shirt and put it back on. Mitsuki felt tears in her eyes but held them in. She knew that he had only done that because he was depressed about Hikari, it didn't mean anything at all to him, and they both knew it. He walked to the door and paused.
"I'm sorry Mitsuki." He mumbled and then left. Mitsuki pulled her shirt back up and wiped away the tears.
"And big girls don't cry." She sung quietly.
Well? What do you think? I tried my very hardest to not make Hikari the bad guy, well girl. Please review!