September, 1987

"How do I look?" Lily was looking at her reflection in the mirror in Grimmauld Place, where she, Sirius and Remus lived. Harry was running around Remus, who agreed to babysit him for the evening.

"Dashing and nervous."

"Remus, I don't want to do this. I am not ready for dating. I don't think I will ever be ready."

"It's just a dinner. He is a muggle, so no pressure, no history. Just two people on a date."

"I can't!"

"Lily, you are young. I miss James, too, but you have got to move on with your life. You need to find someone new."

"Says the man who does not think about settling down."

"You are not a werewolf, I am."

""That's not a reason to stay a bachelor."

"Lily, you are changing the subject. Edward was perfectly nice fellow and you are being late."

"Stay up, so I can tell you just how awful this date was."

"You are not going with high expectations, that's for sure."

"Rem, Sirius won't be mad, right?"

"It is not his business what you do."

" Thank you, Remus. You are my rock, you know that?"

Edward was a nice fellow. Perhaps, too nice. Polite, handsome and funny. Lily did not want to lie to this nice young man, sitting in front of him and discussing Thatcherian politics and finishing his dessert.

"Look, Edward.."She started nervously." You seem perfectly nice gentleman and I don't want to get you in something more than you can handle. I am not ready for a new relationship. I don't trust new people, I have a small child who is my main focus now, and I don't see myself being in relationship any time soon. I don't want to waste your time, while I can't let go of my past."

"Your husband.. I am so sorry, John told me about it." Who is John? Oh, right! Remus used his middle name with muggles. So Remus got him prepared for this.

"Thank you, Edward. It is very nice of you. Thank you for understanding."

When she was safe distance from the restaurant, she apparated to Grimmauld Place, where Remus and Sirius were waiting for her.

"So, how did it go?" Remus was sure it didn't go well, of course, but it was as good of an opening as any.

"Did you notice how much he looks like Severus?"

"Not really. Lil, it's all in your mind." Remus looked too innocent to be trusted.

"Wait, what does that Death Eater scum have to do with this guy?" Sirius said, gulping down his tea.

"Nothing and he is not a scum! Sirius you are never going to let it go?"

"Is he going to stop being a scum?"

"Alright, that is enough! You two, come closer. Check for the portraits and for any additional ears. Is Harry asleep?"

"Yes! YES! He is asleep. Get to the point, Lily. What's the big secret?" Sirius had no patience.

So that evening, Lily told them about that faithful Halloween and Severus, the Death Eater standing outside their house at Godric's Hollow and keeping an eye on them, about James's curse and about Severus's role in her surviving that night and Voldemort's attack.

"This is certainly unexpected turn of events." Remus murmured after Lily finished her story.

"Unexpected? If you ask me , he got her where he wanted her."

"And where would that be, Sirius?"

"Alone and ready to jump at him!"

"I am sorry, WHAT?" Lily was shocked at the crude comment.

"Oh, c'mon, Lily, you have to be blind to not have noticed the git drooling all over you."

Lily just looked at Sirius, shocked. She turned to Remus, for explanation.

"What our friend is trying to say, is, put in normal language, Severus had obvious feelings for you, even if he chose to keep them a secret."

"Nononononono. You two are mistaken. We were just friends! Best friends, but only that."

"Right! You two were friends, only. Only he drooled over you, ever since he figured out what you do with girls."

"Sirius, stop being so crude! Enough! Remus, is this true?"

"What is true? That Severus was in love with you? Lily, please don't tell me you never noticed. It was very obvious."

"Wait.. Did you all know about this?"

"Yes! Everyone knew!" Sirius was actually laughing at Lily's naivity. How could she be so blind?

Lily seemed to be digesting the news. Then there was a strange shadow over her eyes and she asked, looking Remus directly into eyes.

"Did James know about this?"

Sirius answered, before Remus would have a chance.

"Of course! Wait.. I mean.. Well, we suspected.." He realized what he just admitted to Lily.

"So.. basically.. the hell you put him through back at school was because James wanted to get rid of competition? You four went after him, because he liked me? I am the reason, that man hated every day of his life at Hogwarts? I practically pushed him into Death Eaters' arms! Oh god, I bet he wanted to have some protection from all of you. I am such a fool! All this time! Remus, did James leave him alone, when I asked him?"

"Of course, Lil."

"Sirius, I am not asking you! You will lie for James, I have no doubt about it." She turned again to Remus who was trying to avert his eyes." Remus, please answer me, did James leave Sev alone, when I started going out with him?"

Remus shook his head.

"So, he continued humiliating my best friend every time I was not around, even though I practically begged him to stop?"

Remus nodded.

"Thank you for your honesty, Rem. Thank you for the date also, but please don't set up any more dates for me in near future."

"If it will make you feel better, Snape answered the same back. James was not the only person in those fights, you Snape had a whole arsenal of Dark Spells."

"Sirius, I know that you are being a good friend and defending Jamie's memory, and I do appreciate it."

"But... ? I know there is a but in this sentence."

"Nothing, Sirius. No buts. I think I may retire early today. If it's possible, if you have any respect or love towards me, please do not reveal what I told you today to anyone. For all we know, Sev might be our only chance to save Harry and defeat the Death Eaters. Something tells me we have not gotten rid of Voldemort and his followers for good. I already ruined Sev's life as it is, I would prefer to not be the reason for his death as well. It's enough that Jamie died because of me." Lily got up to leave. Sirius tried to follow her, but Remus whispered angrily to him

"Sit down at this minute and leave that girl alone, for Merlin's sake. You did enough for one day!"