Sorry for the long delay in updates, darlings. It's hard to be funny when I'm freaking out over midterms. :) But I have miraculously survived and am back with another installment! Please review and let me know what you like or don't like- I love to hear from you guys!

I'm sitting at my desk on Monday, writing a report for Kingsley about some kids who charmed a Muggle's garden gnome to bite people who walked by. Suddenly, a hand slams down on my desk. I jump, my quill leaving a squiggle along the edge of the page. I look up to see Black leaning over me. I eye him warily. "What do you want?" I ask, trying to keep my voice light. As funny as my prank was on Friday, I am slightly worried to see his reaction.

He takes a seat on my desk, his eyes narrowed. "Pretty funny, what you did," he observes. "Took Remus the better part of four hours to find the counter-jinx."

I don't answer, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling.

His next question surprises me. "Why do you hate me so much, Locklier?" he asks suddenly, using my last name. As he's always insisted on calling me Cassie, this change worries me.

I frown at him, shocked into honesty. "I don't hate you."

"We certainly don't get along."

I don't argue the point. "So?"

"This is workplace hostility." Before I can argue, he grins. I roll my eyes, realizing he's just teasing me. "Scared ya, didn't I?" he says, a cocky look on his face.

I shake my head. "You don't scare me, Black." I pause. "Although, I know for a fact that your face scares small children."

He laughs. "Whatever. I know I'm good-looking." When I make a face, he presses, "And I know you think I'm good-looking."

"With or without the tail?" I ask, widening my eyes innocently.

He leans over my desk, his calloused palm sticking to the wet ink still spattered across my report. Strands of black hair fall into his handsome grey eyes, and I force myself to look away. "Admit it," he breathes. "You're attracted to me."

"Sorry," I say, lifting his hand and sliding my now-smeared report out from under it while avoiding his gaze. "I think you have me confused with one of the bimbo witches down in Magical Reports."

He shakes his head. "Those girls are boring," he says mildly, examining my purple quill.

"Then why do you insist on chasing them?" I ask, snatching my quill from his hand.

He shrugs noncommittally. "Eh. Passes the time."

"You're a pig," I tell him flatly.

"A good-looking pig," he corrects me.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Black."

"Call me Sirius?"

I look up at his request. "Why?"

He shrugs again. "Black's so…formal."

I poke him in the side with my quill, realizing that I prefer playful Black to serious Black (pun not intended). This makes me frown. I shouldn't prefer either Black. "I'll think about it."

"I call you Cass," he counters.

"Cassie," I correct. "My name is Cassie."

"Kingsley calls you Cass," he observes, his voice stubborn.

"Kingsley is a very tall, very bald, and very scary black man," I tell him. "I'm wise enough to pick my battles."

"You pick fights with me." He looks very much like a frustrated schoolboy, pouting over how much I bully him.

"Because I know I'll win," I explain patiently.

He scoffs. "I let you win."

This makes me laugh. "You're kidding, right?"

He frowns at me. "I'm not an idiot, you know," he tells me, his pride wounded. "I know a lot of magic."

"Whatever." I pull open my desk drawer and start digging through it, looking for a new piece of parchment. I find one and plop it on the desk. "If you know so much, rewrite my report that you just smeared with your abnormally large hands, you oaf."

He laughs. "Nah, I don't do paperwork."

I raise my eyebrows. "Aw, afraid I'll figure out you can't read?" I tease.

He narrows his eyes and stands up abruptly. "Have fun, Cass!" he calls over his shoulder as he walks away, and I am left fuming in my chair.

"Wotcher, Cassie."

I look up at Tonks' voice and grin. "What's happenin', Dora?"

She scowls at me. "You know better than that."

I laugh and shrug in a what-can-you-do gesture. Tonks' hair is bright blue and cut close to her scalp today to match the rather ugly (fashion forward?) robes that she is wearing. She wiggles her nose at me and changes her appearance to more closely resemble my own. I narrow my eyes at her. "What's with this?" I ask.

Her eyes glint evilly for a moment before she starts talking in a loud falsetto. "Oh, Sirius Black! He's so handsome! I can't find the time to do my reports because I'm too busy flirting!" She bats her eyelashes at me to add insult to injury.

"Knock it off," I tell her angrily. "I'm working on the report now, you goon. In fact, Black is the reason it's not done. Idiot smeared my ink, see?" I show her the page that Black ruined when he leaned over my desk.

Tonks blinks and takes on her previous appearance in an instant. "Excuses, excuses. Cummon, Cassie, if you don't get it turned in soon Kingsley's gonna make me write it up."

"You were with me," I remind her. "You would have all of the right details."

She frowns. "Yeah, but I'm not a field supervisor."

At my blank look, she starts laughing again. "Sirius told me about the toilets."

"What were you talking to him for?" I ask. When she raises an eyebrow, I remember. "Oh, right, he's your cousin."

"Speaking of cousins…" Tonks begins, moving to sit on my desk and simultaneously knocking my unlit candle to the floor and kicking me in the rib as she lifts herself up. I rub my side and wait for her to finish. "I heard you went to Molly's the other night."

"And?" Tonks knows how close I am to my family. Why is this a point of interest?

"Well, I also heard you weren't the only guest."

Oh, right. Remus.

"He looked very handsome," I tell her. "He asked about you constantly and when Molly served dinner, all he could talk about was how he wished it was you cooking his meals and keeping him warm at night."

Tonks kicks me in the rib again, this time on purpose. "Don't be awful."

"He's so old!" I laugh. "I don't understand what you see in him. He's nice enough, don't get me wrong, but the man is always ill. If it wasn't for the Order, he wouldn't have a job."

Tonks narrows her eyes before taking on a suddenly dreamy expression. "But he's so handsome, Cassie," she says, more to herself than me. "He's kind, and intelligent, and-"

I make gagging noises to interrupt her. "He's fourteen years older than you, Tonks."

She raises an eyebrow, and I am hit with the sudden realization that I am not going to like what is about to come out of her mouth. "He's the same age as Sirius."

"And?"

She grins. "And you're in love with him, so you are in no position at all to make fun of me!"

I throw an inkwell at her, only to realize that the stopper wasn't on tight enough. Black ink splatters all over her robes, face, and hair before running down the edges of my desk. I burst into laughter. Tonks has the worst luck, I swear.

She waves her wand in irritation and removes the mess. "Admit it, already. You're in love with Sirius."

"I am n-"

"What's this?" I groan as the last person I wanted to overhear our conversation sidles over. Black grins at me. "A confession, Cass?" He reaches out and tweaks my hair. "I knew it. You've been head over heels for me all along."

"Keep dreaming, Black," I snort. "I'm not that desperate."

He looks wounded. "I will have you know that I am a good catch."

I grin before counting his misdeeds off on my fingers. "You're a runaway, pureblood, from a Slytherin-connected family, a convicted felon-"

He interrupts me. "Hey! Pardoned felon!"

I smirk. "Still a felon."

"I didn't kill those people!"

I wink at him. "Paper says you did."

"The paper's wrong and you know it. I am not a felon, although I have gotten a Muggle speeding ticket before while I was riding the bike once with James." He grins and turns to Tonks. "Speaking of old school friends, seen Remus lately?"

Tonks' face turns bright red while her hair simultaneously changes colors to match. It's hard to tell where her face stops and her hair begins. "Um," is all she can say.

Sirius laughs. "You have to talk to him at some point, Dora."

Tonks is so upset she forgets to reprimand him for using her first name. "Why can't you talk to him?"

Sirius' grey eyes glint with mischief. "I talk to him every day. Dunno what you're talking about."

Tonks looks panicky. "Please, Sirius? I can't- He won't-"

I start giggling at the spectacle of my friend's discomfort. "Poor Tonks. Madly in love. With a werewolf, no less."

She glares at me. "That has nothing to do with anything. Remus is still a man. A sweet man." She blushes again. "I don't care about that."

"Good for you," Sirius tells her, and for once I think I actually detect sincerity in his voice. "He needs a woman like you."

"So you'll talk to him for me?" Tonks asks hopefully.

There's a pause as Sirius pretends to think about it. "Nah," he says finally. "It's too funny to watch you squirm and watch him pretend he doesn't notice."

Tonks' voice comes out in a squeak. "He notices?"

"You trip over stuff all the time when he's around, Tonks," I break in. "You couldn't sneak up on anyone if you tried."

Sirius laughs. "Of course he notices. He's just too shy to talk to you about it. I'm telling you, you'll have to make the first move. He's all hung up on his 'furry little problem'; he's convinced no one will ever want to marry him." He nudges Tonks with his elbow. "You're good for his self-esteem, cousin."

With that, Sirius walks away, leaving both of us speechless. Finally, Tonks speaks up. "He's so, so- ARGH!"

"Frustrating?" I supply.

She makes a face at me. "Now I know why you can't stand him."

I laugh. "I've tried to tell you all along! Sirius Black is one of the most annoying, pig-headed man-sluts you will ever meet. Trust me."

Tonks nods her agreement. See? I know I'm right.