A/N: This story isn't my opinion; this is the legitimate characterization the X-Men that just happened to never be shown in any way on the show. But that doesn't mean its no canon. I mean, it could be canon. Hypothetically.

Dear fanfiction writers everywhere,

I am Rahne Sinclair, one of the New Mutants. And I am the only to ever try to do anything useful with my life.

Let me describe a typical day in my life: I wake up, deal with my teammates inability to take a shower in anything less than twenty minutes, barely get a chance to eat breakfast, go to school, work really hard in honors classes, and stay after school for a club meeting. I'm in the book club, the prayer group, the history club, the healthy living club, and I play soccer and run cross country. After my meeting, I usually walk the three miles back to the Xavier Institute, where I find that my so-called friends have consumed the dinner I was not present to eat, forcing me to actually cook for myself.

What do my teammates do throughout their day? Basically, nothing. Amara and Jubilee sit around talking about fashion, with Jubilee usually wearing some eyesore and calling it "clothes". The boys sit around and waste their time playing video games, but I don't know why I would expect anything better from them, because, really, take look at our team leader. Dr. McCoy is totally lazy, encouraging their laziness by example. He's never done anything useful with his life; the only time he was ever effective was when he earned a reputation for himself as war criminal by committing mass genocide.

Twice.

Other than that, he pretty much just likes to read Shakespeare, and most of the time, he talks exclusively in sonnets. I'm not surprised that his next evolutionary state will be a slug, seeing as he barely moves.

Dr. McCoy has very odd taste in company as well: one time he introduced us to some hipster loser named Megan Gwynn who honestly believed she was a pixie, supposedly as a "learning experience" for us. Personally, I thought that Professor Xavier had told him to actually do his job, so Dr. McCoy picked the closest druggie off the street for us to meet so he could get back to ready British literature, under the guise of an "educational lesson".

And don't even get me started about Tabitha. Whenever I see that girl, she's always high as a kite. She sits on the couch all day, watching Twilight, Valentine's Day, and other boring, laughably bad romance movies, smoking a bowl, smoking another, and then going out to replenish her stash. See, before Tabitha came to the Xavier Institute, she looted her parents' house for drug money, then ran away. Her dad isn't a bad person, and he was only trying to make her steal stuff so he could get back all the money she stole from him.

My point is this: out of all of my teammates, I am the sole one who tries to improve herself as a person, increase my general knowledge, exercise moral judgement, or even exercise at all. So don't write these stories that feature them as selfless do-gooders. In reality, they're nothing but a bunch of self-absorbed, drug-abusing couch potatoes with bad hygiene.

Sincerely,

Rahne Sinclair

P.S. Please stop pairing me with Jamie. He's so much younger than me that it's creepy. I actually am pretty interested in the Maximoff twins, though.