A/N: Seriously, people, what's with all of this creativity I'm seeing lately? Why don't you just accept my opinion as the Gospel truth already?

Dear fanfiction writers everywhere,

I am dismayed to see all of these stories that characterize me as an utter sociopath, complete monster, or unfaithful boyfriend. Where do any of you get the idea that I'm anything like that? Out of all of the Brotherhood of Mutants members, I was the only shown to have a conscience or even any sort of moral compass whatsoever.

Everyone else was pretty evil, true, but I was the token not-totally-evil player on that team. When that train was about to crash into the town and destroy everything and everyone there, I was the only one of the Brotherhood to so much as attempt to stop it, and I was the only one willing to work with the X-Men. I also consistently expressed amity toward the X-Men at every opportunity, so I'm at a loss to why so many of you writers portray me as hateful and deceptive.

Speaking of playing on teams, what's with all of these arguments about me being gay or straight? Can I just, you know, be both? I'd hate to limit someone as handsome as myself to only one gender. Seriously, everyone should get to enjoy a guy as good-looking as myself.

I'm not particularly interested in my sister, but that's only because no matter what anyone says, I am a moral pillar of society. So is my father, while we're on that topic. I read these fanfics where my father is depicted as a fearsome figure in regards to myself and Wanda, and I would like to express my outrage at such portrayals. My father is the kindest, gentlest, warmest, most loving and doting parent anyone could ever have. Of course Wanda and I don't hate him! How could we ever hate the father who has been such a good teacher and role model as well as parent to us? Anything he did to us during our childhood, he did for our own good, and that goes for imprisoning Wanda in the mental hospital as well.

And no, Wanda doesn't want revenge on him for that. Why should she? I mean, he only became tired of looking after a powerful mutant child and decided that he would be better off locking her away with a bunch of strangers who treated her as if she was a wild animal, and then never visited her or tried to explain his actions. Seriously, she's his own daughter, how could she hate him?

Also, I see that in some stories, my father is designated as homophobic, undoubtably for the sake of creating drama within an otherwise tedious story. Considering that my father has been shown to despise human discrimination towards mutants due to his imprisonment in the Nazi concentration camps, I can totally understand why he is depicted as encouraging human discrimination against certain other humans and mutants, especially if that particular group was also slaughtered during the Holocaust, but for their sexual preferences rather than their religion. The sheer amount of logic present within many of these stories is outright astounding.

Finally, I would like to address a reoccurring misconception within fanfic: I am truly am a caring brother and son. I always do my best to protect my sister and father. Notice how frequently I helped them during the show? That's because I genuinely love them. I'm just that nice of a guy.

Sincerely,

Pietro Maximoff

A/N: Come on, people, Pietro really was a good guy within the show. Why can't you accept that?