Dear fanfiction writers everywhere,

I am writing to inform all of you of my total disgust for your portrayal of me within your stories. Seriously, my character is barely recognizable.

First of all, I would like to establish that Scott Summers and I are definitely not a couple. I broke up with him months ago because I caught him cheating on me with a freaky clone of me named Madelyne Pryor, created by some atheist named Mr. Sinister. The clone thing is weird, but I'm still angry with Scott. True, I had cheated on him first, with that one-night-stand in the company of his younger brother Alex, but that doesn't count. I mean, I didn't care about Alex the way I cared about Scott back then.

Plus, I can't believe Scott was consorting with a clone; everyone knows that clones don't have souls. Oh, the depravity of such detached sexual contact! Anyway, I'm happy to inform you all that I am dating a wonderful man by the name of Grifter. Our love is so true!

And I never, ever wear shirts that would display my cleavage or my midriff, no matter how popular those pictures of me in the Mojoworld are. I wore nothing like that in the show. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar, plain and simple.

Also, I feel as if I should tell of you that I am not the Phoenix, and I do not possess the power of the Phoenix Force or anything silly like that. The show's writers said that if the Phoenix had appeared, it would have been within a young mutant named Santo Vaccarro, the future apprentice of Amahl Farouk, as confirmed by Boyd Kirkland, the show's producer.

Besides, I am a strict Christian, so I don't believe that women should have much power at all. Our society should always keep the men in power first and foremost, because that's what the Bible shows us, and of course we should follow every single word of a book written thousands of years ago.

We don't need to modernize the Bible at all, we should just follow every word as it is, including the "eye for an eye" rule involving obtaining revenge for transgressions committed against us and the passages that state we must sacrifice animals to God. And also, being a Christian totally gives me the right to openly despise anyone who does not subscribe to my exact beliefs about religion.

Furthermore, all of you writers seemed to be convinced that I'm a terrible person. I am definitely the most morally sound person at the Xavier Institute; as I've already told you, I'm a Christian, therefore my every action has been preapproved by God. Everything I do is in the name of Jesus.

That time I mind-controlled Warren Worthington III into worshipping me as a goddess? I did that because God wanted me to. And the day I forgot to study for an honors history class and used my telepathy to read my classmates' minds and get an "A"? I did that for God, too. He understands, he wanted me to get that "A". I cheated on the test because it was part of God's plan for me.

Finally, contrary to popular belief, the person I hate the most at the Institute is not Rogue, though I don't condone her worship of Satan. Rather, the worst person at the Xavier Institute, in my opinion, is Rahne Sinclair.

"But why?" You ask. "What could you possibly have against Rahne?"

You see, Rahne is a Christian, like me. However, Rahne loves and accepts all people regardless of their religion or sexual orientation. She genuinely befriends them even if they have different beliefs than her. She would be better off acting my kind of Christian: looking down upon others if they are not members of my specific church. That's what true religion is all about, after all: using your faith as an excuse to mindlessly hate other people without personally knowing any of them.

Sincerely,

Jean Grey

A/N: I'm a bit disturbed by the reviews I'm receiving. It seems that some of you want to continue with the idea "creativity" within your stories and don't care for this story, which dictates about what you can and cannot write. Well, you know what? This website is for fanfiction. As in, fiction about the show written by fans. The purpose of fanfiction isn't to explore theories and ideas that weren't presented in the show; it's only to write about what's canon in the show and absolutely nothing else.

Therefore, all fan fiction MUST follow the show exactly, or else your work isn't valid. That's just the way it is. There is no point to creativity. I mean, it's not like when books are formatted into movies the directors change a whole bunch of the book to work differently in the film. That's why every Harry Potter movie followed the book exactly. That's why when the Disney movies adapted all of those fairy tales, like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Pinocchio, the films were exactly like the source material. They didn't add their own original twists or try to be "creative", they just followed the books and left the story untainted, which is the way it should be.