Hi all! So...this song is a very sad, slow song. I'll try to get some of her lighter songs in here, but my Angst!Muse wouldn't let this one go. So, here y'all are. Hope it's not too bad.
WARNINGS: Character death, off-screen character death, suicide
Hope you like it!
The Lonely by Christina Perri
2 am, where do I begin?
Crying off my face, again
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed.
Hound sat on the edge of the berth in his and Mirage's shared quarters. It was early in the solar cycle, so early that it was still dark outside, but Hound wasn't able to sleep. He had been crying nonstop ever since Jazz had delivered the news. On their last mission, Mirage had been caught downloading information from the Decepticon's database. Jazz and Bumblebee had been on the other side of the compound, and their comlinks were jammed thanks to Soundwave, who knew they were on the ship, just not where. Unable to help their comrade, the racer and subcompact had to leave, in order to get their information back to Prime, abandoning Mirage in the process. Hound had never felt so alone in his entire life-cycle.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Hound had changed after Jazz delivered the news. He seemed empty, only a ghost of the mech that he used to be. No longer did he find joy in the mysteries that this planet had to offer, going out on rainy nights with Trailbreaker to witness the growth and change of the flora and fauna. He was going through the motions; showing up to his shifts on time, getting his daily rations of energon, and keeping healthy, but the light was gone in his optics.
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
Slowly, the green tracker fell into a routine. Play it off like nothing was wrong in the day, but once night fell, he tried to avoid anything that reminded him of Mirage. Dancing around his memories of the spy, Hound wondered if the gaping hole he felt in his spark would soon eclipse his feelings for Mirage. Eventually, all Hound knew was the loneliness.
I sing myself a quiet lullaby,
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Singing to himself, Hound tried futilely to get himself to fall into recharge. It's now use, the tracker thought. I miss him too much.
Too afraid to go inside
The pain of one more loveless night
His quarters, where he had once found solace in knowing that he would be treated like an equal, that he would be loved in this place, was now a breeding ground for fear and depression. Just walking by the entrance, Hound physically shrank in on himself, to the point where he would avoid having to down the hallway at all, instead preferring to walk all the way around the ship, taking an extra half-an-hour to get to his destination.
The loneliness will stay with me
And hold me till I fall asleep
Instead of Mirage's arms holding him as he fell into the land of recharge, the loneliness coiled around him, cocooning around him like he had seen those earth creatures, caterpillars, do. Then, through metamorphosis, they changed into something beautiful and different. The only change Hound was undergoing was the steps into a beautiful tragedy, full of lost love.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Hound slowly pulled away more and more until he was rarely seen outside of his shifts. Even then, he didn't talk like he used too, filling the silence with his tales of exploration of the planet they were on. The quiet rang through everyone's audios, and most began to keep their distance from the mech.
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby,
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
But Hound was too wrapped up in his own world of sorrow to notice. Even the ever cheerful gunner, Bluestreak, stopped coming around the tracker to see if he was alright. Pulling away from everyone, Hound became a shell of the mech he used to be.
Broken pieces of
Hound's spark was shattered; his Mirage, his lovely, beautiful, talented, sensual Mirage, was gone…
A barely breathing story
It didn't even feel right to be breathing without Mirage there…
Where there once was love
Mirage loved him like no other. From the small every day things, like getting their morning energon together, to the more sensual things; during their lovemaking, Mirage always made sure that Hound overloaded first, whether he was topping or bottoming, Hound always climaxed first. That was just how the spy was; putting those he allowed himself to care about before himself…
Now there's only me
Being alone forced Hound to accept the harsh reality…
And the lonely.
All he had now was the lonely…but that would soon be fixed. He would have Mirage again…
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Walking around his- no, their- berth, Hound reached behind the desk for his secret weapon…
Can the lonely take the place of you?
A gift from Mirage himself, of noble make. A blade encrusted with gold and rubies running through the handle, silver and marble highlighting the iron blade itself…
I sing myself a quite lullaby,
Singing lowly to himself, Hound opened his spark chamber. I will have Mirage again…I'll make sure of it. Slowly, Hound raised the blade upwards, extended an arms length away, the tip of the blade just brushing his spark casing…
Let you go and let the lonely in
...flexing his elbows, steeling his nerves, Hound repeated that this was for Mirage…
To take my heart again.
A bright light filled the quarters, before a long, gutteral groan followed by the thud of metal falling on the ground echoed through the corridor.
It was Bluestreak to find him. When Hound didn't show up for patrol in the morning, the grey gunner became concerned. After knocking on Hound's door for about twenty minutes, Bluestreak's concern blew through the roof. Calling Ratchet, Bluestreak began nervously pacing the corridor in front of the door, with each passing knocking on the door furiously, begging Hound to open.
Ratchet finally arrived, and quickly entered in the medical override to Hound's quarters. "Stay here, Bluestreak, for I don't know what awaits inside." Turning around, Ratchet entered the dark quarters.
Walking back out, Ratchet simply said, "He's with Mirage now."
"Mirage?"
"Yes, love?"
"Thanks for waiting for me."
"I'd do anything for you, sweetspark."
"And I for you, my noble prince."
I felt kinda bad with all the sadness and depression and slag in the fic, so I added a kinda bittersweet moment of fluff to sweeten things up. Granted, they both are dead, but at least they are together!
Reviews are much appreciated! R&R!
3 Huntress