Chapter Five

Raven winced and sighed simultaneously as she slipped out of the window of her house, clinging to the siding of the house for dear life as she exited. Her skirt caught under her foot and she winced again, closing her eyes and steadying herself. She breathed in and descended to one of the tree branches and started to climb down the tree, her sleeves and bag catching on the way down. She stopped every few feet, breathing in. She wished for all the world she could walk down the hallway, knowing The Monster was gone, but she did not want any of the neighbors to see her.

Not that her father was likely to talk to neighbors, she thought, but it was the last thing she needed. She checked her watch under her sleeve as she jumped to the ground, cursing momentarily, and thanked God that she had been able to slip so safely out of the house. She knew that Kori would be waiting for her, and she could not bear the thought of keeping her friends waiting much longer, especially since they had been unnaturally suspicious of her actions lately.

She ran through the town as quickly as her body would allow, repeatedly shifting her bag from shoulder to shoulder to avoid leaving the pressure on any one bruise for too long. She stopped just short of her destination and fixed her hair, gazing back at her face. She checked her right eye for the signs of bruising, but her cover-up proved infallible and she did not see the bruise. She could still feel it, though, slightly warm and painful to the touch. She forced her lips into the closest thing she had to a smile- a sneer- and walked quietly into the café where they occasionally met.

The room was well-lit but small, a comfortable place owned by two of Kori's older relatives, who spoke little English but paid their employees well and adored their niece. They smiled across the counter and her aunt, brilliant red hair turning grey with age, came over and took Raven's hand in her own.

"Hello. You do shots or drink coffee today?" The woman laughed, obviously making a joke, and Raven bit her lip to keep from wincing. The woman was referring to the time Raven had done an espresso shot during finals week to stay up late studying with Kori, and had promptly had to stand and pace for the entire duration of the evening.

"Dori, please let friend Raven be!" Kori's voice carried from the back table, where she was sitting between two people Raven had not expected to see. Richard looked bored to death, and Garfield had his head in his Calculus book, no doubt absorbing information faster than any normal person would ever want to, let alone attempt to do. Both of their heads snapped up, Richard wiping the droll look off his face to smile, and Garfield stood up and came towards her.

"Raven!" He shouted as Dori backed away to make drinks for the four of them, moving across the room towards her. "We missed you, Raven!"

"You saw me yesterday," Raven commented coldly, not smiling. She stepped backwards to avoid his hug, and she saw something like dejection in his eyes. It was in that instant that she realized something strange: She did want him to hug her, but she knew it would hurt, and she was determined not to let him know that she was hurting. The thought puzzled and confused her, and she sighed openly before she could stop herself.

"But it's nice to see you again!"

Rather than dealing with what she was thinking- she imagined it had come from her parents, this tendency to avoid everything uncomfortable- Raven sat down at the table across from Kori and pulled an open book towards her without a word. Her silence must have spoken volumes, for Garfield sat down and buried his head in his physics book without a word, not talking the entire time that the other three worked through their English homework. Despite her best efforts to keep the subject out of her mind, she had to wonder how Garfield had ended up there.

Despite the turmoil in her head, the hours passed quickly, and it was only when Richard stood up and declared that he had to get to work that Raven looked at a clock. The happy hours that she spent with her friends were such a sharp contrast to the time that she spent at home that she could barely understand it most days: The days were split, the hours changed from hellish to wonderful in an instant, by a simple smile. She shook her head: She was only in danger if she was thinking, because thinking was what prompted her to speak when she knew she shouldn't, prompted the dark bruising and the angry words and ultimately the pain…

She supposed she had said her goodbyes without paying attention, for Kori was gathering her books and hugging her and Richard was waving before the pair of them walked out the door, leaving her alone with Garfield. Part of her wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but the other part of her wanted to speak to him, to find out what he was thinking. The look on his face was far from normal, and she noticed that he had something clutched in his hand.

"Yes?" She said, trying for a monotone but relaying something between irritation and hope. Her tone seemed to take him aback, for he paused for a moment before speaking.

"Just want to walk with you," he said quickly, smiling. "I don't live that far from you, after all."

She had never thought of how close Garfield lived until that moment, realizing he was only a few streets over. It gave her comfort, in a way, but it also made her realize how much closer her friends could be to discovering her secret if they tried She smiled quietly in response, not exactly giving him permission but not taking it away either. In truth, she liked the idea of company, and could not muster up the usual sarcasm that she directed at him. He seemed to take this as enough of an affirmation and held the door open for her.

They walked on for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the still air and the late afternoon sun as it bathed the street. Suddenly Garfield stopped and touched Raven's shoulder once, with an exceeding gentleness that made her jump back slightly. His eyes reflected something between shock and hurt, but he repressed it and held out what he had been holding.

"I didn't know you were applying to Princeton too, Raven." His smile could not have been wider as he held out the crumpled application she had shoved into her book to hide from her father days ago, smoothing out its edges. "They're my top choice. It'd be great to know someone. Have you looked at the essay?" All of the words came out in a rush of warm sincerity that made Raven's throat ache, and she bit the inside of her lip to keep from saying anything rash. Meanwhile, she could hear the screaming in her head, feel the bruises on her arms as though they were crawling slightly…

"I'm not planning on applying," she managed to choke out, trying to act somewhat normal.

"But you'd be a great fit there!" Garfield reached forward and grabbed one of her hands, the other still holding the application out between them. "You're so smart, and I'm sure they'd take you just based on your grades. They have a great English program, Raven. You could write, and, and…" He started to stammer over his words, as he always did when he was excited, and looked down at the ground with a surprising amount of embarrassment for how he usually acted.

"I just think you can do it. Just think about it." He finished quietly and put the application into her bag without a word, the tension between them mounting. Raven stared at him, unable to think of the right thing to say, or anything to say… She was stuck, momentarily, on the fact that someone believed she was capable of something.

Replaying the scene that night, she regretted not saying a word to him. More than anything, however, she regretted letting him leave. Still, she kept the application close, the physics book containing it under her pillow.

She felt hopeful, dangerously hopeful, and she knew somewhere inside her that hope could be killed, would be killed.

And yet…

And yet it felt so beautiful to have someone believe in her, even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

She slept soundly for the first time in what felt like years.

A/n: I know, I know, where have I been? Much has changed, dear readers. I've fallen in love, gotten a third job, and am working on my senior thesis. I am busy. But I'm trying. I'll be back much sooner this time. Reviews welcome.