You have your laptop and charger in your bag in a heart beat. You pack an extra jacket, your phone charger, and two bottles of Faygo. You also don't forget to shove your stash into the pocket of your bag and zip it tightly. You were running low, so you'd have to go mother fucking call up Dave later and see if he can hit you up with some more of this shit.
You grab your car keys on the way out. You only learned to drive a few months ago, and you remember the conversation between you and your grandfather via Pesterchum.
clownyCatastrophee [CC] has started pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]
CC: hEy gAmzEE! I wAs thInkIng AbOUt bUyIng yOU A nEw cAr mOthEr fUckEr!
TC: YoOoO GrAmPs, ThAt wOuLd bE So mOtHeR FuCkInG ChIlL. :o)
CC: I'm glAd yOU lIkE thE IdEA! sO AnythIng In pArtIcUlAr yOU wAnt?
TC: HmMmMm...
TC: HoNk!
TC: A MoThEr fUcKiNg tRuCk gRaMpS. sOmEtHiNg wItH A ClOsInG BaCk.
CC: :oO! I hAlf mOthEr fUckIng ExpEctEd A spOrts cAr Or sOmEthIng!
CC: Any rEAsOn fOr A trUck? tO hIdE All thAt mOthEr fUckIng fAygO? ;o)
TC: NaAaAh mOtHeR FuCkEr! HeH HeH.
TC: BuT AnYwAy, I GoT A MoThEr fUcKiNg sEcReT. sO DoN'T TeLl dAd, He'd bE So uNmOtHeR FuCkInG ChIlL WiTh tHiS ShIt, ThAt hE'D LiKe, KiCk mE OuT.
CC: :oO! whAt dId yOU dO?
TC: WeLl... FuUuUcK MoThEr fUcKeR ThIs iS HaRd.
TC: ...
TC: I'M GaY.
TC: AnD I'Ve gOt a bOyFrIeNd.
CC: :oO! wOAh! dId nOt sEE thAt mOthEr fUckIng cOming!
CC: ….
CC: ...sO dO yOU nEEd A flAt bEd... fOr sEx?
TC: NaAaAaAh mOtHeR FuCkEr.
TC: ...ThOuGh, ThAt cOuLd cOmE In hAnDy... HoNk! :o)
TC: BuT AnYwAy, My bOyFrIeNd, HiS NaMe iS TaVrOs, AnD He cAn't mOtHeR FuCkInG WaLk.
TC: He's iN OnE Of tHoSe wHeElY DeViCe tHiNgS.
TC: I NoRmAlLy wHeEl hIm tO ScHoOl aNd sHiT, bEeN DoInG It fOr yEaRs, BuT It wOuLd bE NiCe tO Be aBlE To dRiVe hIm pLaCeS. hE Is aLwAyS MoThEr fUcKiNg cOnCeRnEd tHaT I GeT TiReD Of wAlKiNg hIm pLaCeS... :O(
CC: OOOOOOh! :o(
CC: pOOr mOthEr fUckEr... hOw'd It hAppEn?
TC: WeLl... It wAs kInDa mY MoThEr fUcKiNg fAuLt.
TC: So rEmEmBeR HoW I WaS DaTiNg tHaT VrIsKa cHiCk? WeLl i dUmPeD HeR, bEcAuSe i sErIoUsLy dOn't mOtHeR FuCkInG LoVe hEr aNyMoRe.
TC: WeLl aNyWaY, sHe sAw mE WiTh tAv... AnD ShE DiDn't lIkE It. NoT OnE MoThEr fUcKiNg bIt. So oNe dAy i lEfT TaV At sChOoL BeCaUsE ErIdAn aNd mE WeRe cUtTiNg eArLy, I KiSsEd hIm gOoDbYe, AnD VrIsKa fUcKiNg sAw, AnD TaVrOs wAs wAlKiNg dOwN ThE MoThEr fUcKiNg hAlL, aNd hE WaLkEd pAsT A FlIgHt oF StEpS ThAt lEaD DoWn tO AnOtHeR HaLl... AnD WeLl,
TC: ShE MoThEr fUcKiNg pUsHeD HiM DoWn tHeM :o(
CC: …
CC: hOly shIt.
TC: i KnOw :o(
CC: wEll Is shE In jAIl Or sOmEthIng?
TC: NoPe :o( TaV DiDn't sEe hEr. AnD ThE GiRl wHo hEaRd hIm yElL, tErEzI, iS BlInD, sO No oNe tAkEs hEr mOtHeR FuCkInG WoRd. ShE KnEw iT WaS VrIsKa sInCe sHe hEaRd hEr lAuGhInG...
You wonder if this whole day is going to be flash backs. You decide to have another, remembering that day too clearly.
"Tav you're too mother fucking cute." You smiled, moving a hand to your newly acquired lover's backside, causing his cheeks to flush.
"G-Gamzee... I uh... Uhh..."
You chuckle, leaning in and locking lips with the cute mother fucker. He can't resist, as he melts into the kiss, his cheeks hot as his arms wound around your waist. He tasted so sweet, like chocolate in a way.
Be The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend
You have never felt so betrayed in your life. You LOVED this guy, this asshole, this piece of shit scum, and here he was, tongue tying with that... Ugly mowhawked thing! Uuuuuuuugh! Why would he do that? You can't help but fume behind the corner you're watching them from. You've been watching them for a while, since you saw Gamzee and him walk by your classroom and you excused yourself to the bathroom. The pass seemed heavier than it should around your thin neck.
You could feel your black locks in your eyes, as you stared, your eyes a raging blue. You could feel the heat building inside of you. The irons, were now officially, in the fire.
"Oooooooh Gam!" The annoying voice of that purple highlighted idiot rings in your ears, and you glance to a door leading out of the school, where Eridan was perched, hands on either side of the door frame, watching Gamzee.
"Yo mother fucker, I'm gonna go now. You have fun in class, alright?" You look up as Gamzee kisses that thing again, and you nearly puke. He then leaves with the British douchebag.
The boy is hesitating, watching after him, then sighing. You watch your prey like the vicious spider you are. You're going to wrap him up in your web as you toy with his mind, and before you know it, he'll be running from Gamzee, terrified.
You smirked as he started walking away, looking at the pass in his hands, fiddling with it.
You pull your hood up, and push some hair in your face. You didn't want him somehow recognizing you. You begin following him silently, ducking behind lockers the one time he turned to look behind him, blinking, then you got closer. He was edging along the wall, feet shuffling awkwardly, so pathetic. He was about to pass the stairs that lead to swim club, where you often snuck in and stole the clothes out of open lockers for kicks.
Be the poor unsuspecting boy.
You can still imagine the feeling of his hands on you, his lips against yours. You were so used to being trapped in your thoughts of fairies and findulspawn, that this was so new. You never felt so close to flying, your one true dream, then you did when his lips locked with yours and the lightheaded feeling took over. You honestly felt like you were floating, as he pressed his body to yours, squeezing you in all the right places. You were walking slow, not wanting to return to class. Your pants felt somewhat tight, and you were afraid to check and see why. Your thoughts were rather erotic, and they made you flustered all the more.
You stop for a moment, a noise pulling you from your thoughts as you turn, but not fast enough as you feel hands on your side, pushing you. The pass falls from your hand as you yelp loudly and feel the gravity pull you down, and you keep falling, wondering why you haven't hit the ground yet. You glance up, as you plow face first into a step and your body flips over completely and you smack hard into the concrete stairs again as you continue to tumble down, feeling your limbs flip and flop like a flag in strong wind. You can feel a violent shudder run up your back, as suddenly, your legs feel invisible, like they weren't there. You finally smacked hard into the ground, and you glanced to your legs to make sure you didn't somehow lose them. They were there, and they looked fine, but your back hurt, and you felt bruised up. You look to the top of the stairs, but no one was there. No one was in sight.
Be the blind witness.
You hear the yelp, a loud high pitched one, and lots of thumping followed by laughing. A sickening, cold laugh that belonged to none other the thief of all justice itself, Vriska Serket. That bitch has gotten on your every nerve, doing the indecent and just plain cruel to everyone. If it wasn't for that one Chemistry class accident, you'd still have your sight. You remember that day, when you were forced to be her partner in class. She had mixed something up, something you didn't even know. You thought she was doing the project, then she excused herself to the bathroom and you waited, and it started bubbling, and you, being the idiot you are, decided to get a closer look at it, as it suddenly burst from the tube and into your eyes.
You remember being rushed to the hospital. You remember the frantic voices in your ear and the scorching pain. You remember waking up, but at the same time, not waking up. Everything was dark, but it was loud and clear.
"...Hello...?"
"God fucking dammit Terezi! It's about time you got up!" Karkat's rough voice fills your ear drums, and you freeze, but then smile with a usual cackle.
"Funny trick Karkles, now seriously, take whatever is over my eyes, off."
There was silence.
"Karkles, hurry up."
More silence.
"DAMMIT KARKLES WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"
You hear a sniffle, and you freeze. "...Are you crying?"
"There's nothing over your eyes Rezi..."
"Of course there is Karkles. If there wasn't, then I'd be able to see."
"..." You hear another loud sigh and the bed moved next to you, and you felt Karkat's arms around you, and you seriously began to feel like something was wrong.
"...Karkles, why can't I see?"
No answer.
"KARKLES!"
"You're fucking blind." You hear him blurt out, as his arms tighten around you, and you freeze.
"W-what?"
"That shit Vriska got in your eyes burned out your eye sockets Terezi. Your eyes fucking melted. There's no fixing that Rezi..."
You're not the type of person to cry, but when you heard the pain in Karkat's voice as he confessed the bitter truth to you, the tears swell in your eyes as your breath catches and you find yourself buried in his shirt, crying. He felt so warm, and he smelt so good you couldn't help but cling tighter.
You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears from your eyes as you remember the scream. You begin walking in it's direction with your cane, looking around, glasses covering your eyes, which you were sure they were a mess. Karkat never would tell you what they looked like.
You hear the loud breathing as you get closer, and you yell out. "Hello! Is anyone there?"
You stop as you hear an, "Uhhh" and you stop.
"...Tavros?" You blink, and take a step forward, but there was nothing there. Stairs most likely... OH JEGUS STAIRS?
"Tavros are you ok?" You begin walking down them, at a decent speed.
"I uhh... Can't... Feel my uh... Legs..."
"...Oh gog." You get down by him, making your way to the ground and putting a hand on what you were sure was his head. "I'm going to call an ambulance. Do you have your phone with you?"
"Uhh, it's uhh, in my jacket pocket..." You nod and feel down his chest until you find said pockets and pull out a phone. You had misplaced yours, again. You began dialing 911. Well, atleast you think it was 911. You luckily are correct and name the school and issue. The operator says they'll be there right away.
Be the high clown boyfriend with your British friend.
"So mother fucker," you begin after moving the bong down from your face. "Where did you get this shit?"
"Got it from a friend. I ain't allow-w-w-wed to name though. It's called Purple Haze Pow-wer, and it's fuckin' amazin', ain't it?"
"It makes me want to run laps mother fucker. Like mother fucking seriously, I'm all up onto this shit like a gangsta to his gat."
"...You know Gam, sometimes your metaphors, don't make any sense, but alright." He cocked his head back, glancing to the window, the purple highlights in his hair reflecting the light from the window brightly. His eyes were a deep purple shade, bright. He seemed so much more colorful at the moment, and it made you wonder how buzzed you really are. You honestly felt like jumping around and over things. Mother fucking weird, but it was probably just the buzz.
You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, so you set the bong on the dash and pull it out. It's Karkat.
"Yooooo mother fucker! What's up?"
"GAMZEE GET YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL."
You jump at the frantic loudness of his voice and glance to the phone. "...Why?"
"Because, something bad happened. Just get your ass here, fucking quick." He hangs up and you stare at the phone.
"...Eridan, we need to go to the mother fucking hospital."
"Oh I heard Kar through the fuckin' phone." He moved, putting the keys in the ignition and starting the car. "I w-wonder if he's a'ight..."
"I mother fucking hope so..." You can't help but frown, wondering what was wrong as you and Eridan pull into the hospital parking lot and you get out and walk in. Karkat is infront of you fast.
"IT'S FUCKING BAD ASSHOLE." He looks rather panicked, eyes bugging out and shaking a bit. He always swung around a lot when he got over emotional, sometimes threw things and often beat the closest thing to him. Terezi was over in a seat not far behind him, looking up in our direction. Her red glasses shined in the fluorescent lights of the waiting room.
"...Well what the mother fuck happened?"
"...It's Tavros."
You can feel your heart sink, and your eyes widen. "...Is he ok?"
"..Well he'll live... but... Well... FUCK TEREZI YOU EXPLAIN I CAN'T DO THIS." He marched back to her, like he might cry. He's been your best friend forever, and you can tell the news he was trying to give you was going to hurt you a lot.
"Well..." Terezi adjusted herself in her seat, trying to figure out how to word this. You sat across from her, desperate to hear what happened. "...I was in the hall, just walking, when I heard a loud yelp and some loud noises... And I walked towards where I heard them... And well... Tavros had fallen down a flight of stairs..."
Your stare at her wide eyed. "...Is anything broken?"
"...Yeah."
"Well broken bones mother fucking heal... Right?"
"...Not when it's your spine..."
You stop, staring at her. You shouldn't have left him there. You should've walked him back to class. You should've taken better care of him there and not gotten him all flustered and day dreamy.
"...And there's something else."
You look up to her, wondering what else could've happened with the greatest fear you've ever felt.
"...Well... He didn't really fall... More like... He was pushed... By Vriska..."
Be the best friend.
You don't believe you've ever seen Gamzee raged over anything. You've seen him annoyed and mad a couple of times. You've seen him cry, you've seen him want to hit things and throw them, but this... Was the most scary expression you've ever seen on his face. You are quite sure he was now planning on strangling Vriska, or stabbing her, or beating her to death with his horns or some shit.
"Gamzee, you're staying here for now." You say as he stands.
"I'm going to mother fucking kill her."
"Gamzee." You stand, and grab his arm, and he violently shakes it off, turning around with a glare.
"WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK DO YOU WANT?"
You flinch at the yelling, then can feel the heat boiling inside of you. "I WANT YOU TO STAY THE FUCK HERE AND GO COMFORT TAVROS. YOU CAN KILL THE BITCH LATER, BUT HE'S RATHER UPSET AND HE'S BEEN ASKING FOR YOU! AND I DON'T WANT TO RUN THE FUCK AROUND KILLING EVERYONE WHO PISSES YOU OFF AND LANDING YOUR FUCKING ASS IN JAIL. I SWEAR GAMZEE, SOMETIMES YOU CAN BE SO STUPID."
Gamzee was staring at you wide eyed, and he sighed and looked down. "...You're right mother fucker... I don't know what I was thinking." He looked up. "Where the mother fuck is he?"
You sigh and turn around. "Follow me." You lead Gamzee up to the room, and stop outside of the door. "I'm going to head back to Terezi. I left her alone with Ampora, and I know that won't go ever fucking well at all."
"You guys really should give him some more mother fucking credit. He isn't that mother fucking bad."
"He pisses me the fuck off Gamzee. Now get in there. Bye." You turn around, and walk off.
Be the freshly crippled boyfriend.
You sit, propped up in a hospital bed. Everything that just happened runs through your head. Falling, being found, the sirens, being carried, everything. And especially being told you'd never walk again. You remember calling your mom and telling her you were here and what happened, and her saying she'd be over soon. You lived a while aways from the hospital, so she wasn't here yet.
You jump from your train of thought, as you hear the door knob of your hospital room door turn, and you glance over. The door opens, and you can't help but feel happy as he walks in the room. His expression makes you frown though, as he looked up at you. You can tell someone already broke the news to him, which you guess is a good thing. You never would've been able to tell him yourself.
"Uhh, hey Gamzee..."
He just walks over, looking you over with a frown. "How do you mother fucking feel?"
"A little banged up..." You mutter, looking at him, having a few bruises, but nothing too painful.
He just gave a little nod. "...Can I sit with you?" You just nod, and attempt to scoot over some, with a little trouble, which Gamzee sees and helps to the best of his ability, and he gets on the bed, sitting next to you and wraps his arms around you tightly. You can feel his face in your hair, and some wetness on your head.
"...Uhh Gamzee... Are you crying?"
"This is all my mother fucking fault Tav." You were so used to Gamzee being care free, happy. He made mistakes, but laughed over them. He fell down, but got right back up smiling. But this, this was just... Sad. The sound of his voice, the way it made you feel. Gamzee was blaming himself.
"Gamzee, this is not your fault."
"Yes, it mother fucking is. Vriska fucking pushed you down a mother fucking flight of stairs because she's a jealous psycho bitch who is still in love with me. She did this because of me. This is my fault."
You begin to drift from the day dream, now in your car and you sigh. You needed to stop having sad thoughts. You were going to go hang out with Tavros, and that was all that mattered. You put the key in the ignition and begin your trip.
And Gamzee's grandfather just capitalizes vowels. I really couldn't think of anything good :T Sorry.
List of Faygo flavors:
Dr. Faygo
Black Cherry
Black Cherry and Raspberry
Blue Raspberry
Candy Apple (discontinued) (recontinued later)
Centennial Soda (Blueberry cream)
City Soda
Champagne Kola
Chocolate Creme Pie Soda
Club Soda
Coconut Cream Pie
Cola
Cotton Candy
Cherry Cola
Creme Soda
Diet Chocolate Cream Pie
Diet Frosh
Diet Raspberry Creme
Diet Red Pop
Diet Orange
Frosh
Fruit Punch
Ginger Ale
Grape
Jazzin' Blues Berry
Key Lime Pie
Kiwi Strawberry (non-carbonated)
Mango Tango
Moon Mist
Moon Mist Green
Moon Mist Red
Moon Mist Blue
Morning Mist
Orange
Orange Chug
Original Black Raspberry
Peach
Pineapple
Pineapple Orange
Raspberry Blueberry
Red Cherry
Fine Rhubarb Pie (Winning Flavor of the 2007 "Design a Flavor" contest sponsored in Adrian, Lenawee County, Michigan)
Red Pop
Red Pop w/ Lemon
Rock and Rye
Root Beer
Sensation
Sex on The Beach
Strawberry
Tonic Water
Twist (lemon-lime, formerly UpTown)
Vanilla Creme Soda