Turn. Pull. Grab. Open. Left. Right. Left. Right. Simple, very simple tasks, leading to a very happy moment. Everything seemed to fall into place when you just saw that cute little mother fucker's face.

Your bag slung over your shoulder, and a smile on your clown face, you turn the door knob and just walk in like you own the place. That was, well, pretty normal for you. Most places you walked in like you live there and people were just like, "Yo Gamzee" or "Hey Gamzee, got any weed?" or things along those lines. You were just naturally welcome most places.

"Gamzee sweetie, how are you?" You look up the face of a middle aged woman, with bright brown eyes and blonde hair. She wasn't tall, but she was decently thin. She wore a patterned blouse, with a white undershirt and dark jeans and socks.

"Hey momma." You smile at her, slouched over some, hand on your backpack strap that hung on one shoulder. "Where's Tav at?"

"Oh he's just in his room." She smiled and walked to the counter, where she had a roller out and some dough. "And let him know I'm making cookies."

"Oooh fuuuuuck momma, you know how to make a mother fucker not want to leave." You can't help but snicker, and she smiles. You walk off to Tav's room, smirking and you peek your head in the door, wanting to surprise him.

You look in, and you see Tav, up in his computer chair, typing away with his cute little fingers. He seemed mesmerized in whatever he was doing, typing away with that dreamy little look in his eyes he got when he had something nice on his think pan. It made you happy to watch him there, so you just slid in the room, not bothering closing the door all the way. That would make noise.

You walk in, gently putting your bag on the floor silently, then you creep up behind the cute mother fucker, who seemed completely clueless of you there. At least until your arms were around his waist and pulling him up out of his chair as he squealed and went wide eyed, arms going out to the side as his head whipped around as he stared at you for a moment.

…

Silence.

Then his beautiful laugh echoed through the room.

"G-Gamzee you scared me!" He chuckled as you moved him over to the bed, laying him down and crawling over him, locking lips. His hands came up, knotting in your hair lightly while one knotted in the back of your shirt. You really loved the certain bursts of confidence that Tav got, and you especially loved some of the things it would make him do.

You had to admit it. It was so much hotter when he started the sloppy make outs. So much hotter.

Back to reality. You could feel his hand running down your back, and if it continued where you thought it was going, you'd be a very happy mother fucker.

…

Now you proceed to be a happy mother fucker.

== Be The Guy Who Just Made This Guy A Happy Mother Fucker.

You hated how nervous you got when his lips were on yours. But at the same time, you felt fearless. You couldn't explain it, not at all. But in a way, you rather liked it.

And now, after one of those fearless moments, you were squeezing Gamzee's backside in what seemed like a care free motion. You couldn't help but blush as he let out a little noise, and then, that weird feeling hit you. It happened a lot when you and Gamzee were like this, chest to chest, lips to lips, hands on each other, feeling each other. It wasn't a bad feeling, not at all. You rather liked it, but it scared you at the same time, so you decided to pull back, panting. You blush at him dark, as he smirks at you, and before you know you're doing it, you give his butt another squeeze and he can't help but let out a little noise.

"Jeez mother fucker..." He mutters, blushing slightly as he snuggled his face on your chest.

"You're so sensitive..."

He can't help but chuckle and look up, his indigo eyes looking bright in the light from the Pupa Pan lamp next to your bed. "I know I am mother fucker." He smiled, relaxing his head on your chest and looking up at you.

You stop for a moment and remember the conversation you were in the middle of when Gamzee picked you up. "...Uhhh Gamzee... I kinda left Nepeta on the conversation... Can you just tell her I'll get back to her later?"

== Be The Guy Who Interrupted That Conversation.

You nod and get up. "Sure mother fucker." You walk over to the computer and sit down and read the last few posts.

AC: :33 *ac purrounces on tavfurros and paws at his furrairy wings!*

AT: *cHUCKLES, aND UHH, pETS
AC: :33 (tavfurros? are you alright?)

AC: :33 (tavfurros? h33llooooo? *paws at your furrace!* come on tavfurros!)

AT: (Yo nEp! SoRrY, kInDa aLl uP AnD WaLkEd iN AnD StOlE TaV FrOm tHe mOtHeR FuCkInG CoMpUtEr aNd aLl. I HoPe yOu dOn't aLl uP AnD MiNd iF I StEaL HiM FoR A BiT.)

AC: (oooh gamz33! hi there! i don't mind! just gonna go put more of you guys on my shipping wall! h33h33!)

AT: (MoThEr fUcKiNg tHaNkS NeP! bYe! HoNk :o) )

adiosToreador [AT] has ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

You smile lazily, as you turn and go back over to Tav and crawl up next to him. You wound an arm around his broad shoulders, which were well defined for his small size. He had always been more muscularly built than you. You were always tall and lanky, since you were little, but he was average height and wide shouldered. But in a way, he still managed to be so small, so cute and fragile-like. You loved that in a way. It made you want to take care of him all the more.

You could feel his face press against your neck, and you tilted your head back. Your neck and your butt, these were your sensitive spots, and Tav knew it. He was nuzzling, and it felt pretty good. It made you shudder lightly, and close your eyes. Before you knew it, he was sucking on the skin there, and it always made you wonder that if he wasn't crippled, would he be the dominant one in this relationship? You mean, not that you guys have done that yet.

But you want to.

A lot.

But Tav is afraid, and he wants to wait, so you're going at his speed. This was both of yours relationship, so he had a say to. Even if you didn't really like what his say was, you loved him enough to wait. You mean, it's not like he can say no forever. While you are lost in thought, Tavros seems to be enjoying himself while playing at the skin of your neck. He was just experimenting, trying to see what you liked. You noticed him glancing up at you every few seconds to judge your reaction to certain things, and when he gently bit at the skin of your throat, he didn't even have to look up to hear the surprised yelp you let out.

"O-oh did I hurt you?" He pulled back, eyes all cute and wide, looking scared.

"Nah mother fucker, just didn't expect that." You can't help but smirk and look at him. "That was mother fucking kinky... I like it."

His face lit up like a fourth of July as he glanced down. "I uhh... Just... Uh... Well it just popped in my head... And I uhh... Tried..."

You just nod, petting him. When Tav has a burst of confidence, and does something you like, you have to let him know he did good, or he'll never do it again, ever.

"You did a mother fucking good job..." You smirk, running your fingers through his mowhawk as he looks down blushing.

"I uh... Thanks G-Gamzee..." You can't help but smile, loving how cute he was when he stuttered over your name. It made you want to rip his clothes off and take him on the floor. Wait what? No, you didn't think that. Ok, yes you did, the tiny voice in the back of your head did. You like to ignore thoughts like that, even though they are nothing but the truth. Those kind of thoughts got you in trouble.

Well they at least got the little friend in your pants in trouble, but then you normally would get in trouble right after so stop ranting this over in your head. Are you stupid? Are you seriously having these thoughts? Stop it!

You glanced down at Tavros, who was quiet, eyes closed, head on your shoulder, with a slight blush when you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket and you jumped.

"HOLY SHIT WHA- Oh my phone."

Tavros stared at you now, eyes wide. "...Gamzee, I thought you were dying or something."

"Nah, my mother fucking phone all up and got it's buzz on." You blink, moving your hand into your pocket and taking it out.

From: Karkat

HEY GAMZEE. I HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM. HOW DO YOU MAKE A BLINDE PSYCHO CHICK LOVE YOU? BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND ANY FUCKING BOOKS ON IT AT THE LIBRARY. WHICH FUCKING SUCKS. BECAUSE IT JUST DOES. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE IT WORK. AND I HAVE YET TO SEE A MOVIE THAT HELPS MY SITUATION WHATSOFUCKINGEVER. SO, IF YOU COULD BE A PAL, AND JUST DIRECT ME IN THE RIGHT FUCKING DIRECTION, I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE RELATIVELY KINDA GREATFUL.

To: Karkat

WeLl mY MoThEr fUcKiNg bEsT FrIeNd, I HaVe tHe eAsIeR SoLuTiOn iN ThE WoRlD, aNd tHiS Is gOiNg tO SoUnD WeIrD CoMiNg fRoM Me.

From: Karkat

JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHAT IT IS.

To: Karkat

MaN ThE MoThEr fUcK Up aNd jUsT TeLl hEr hOw yOu fEeL. dOn't pLaY StUpId mInD GaMeS, sO DaNcE ArOuNd tHe tOpIc, JuSt wAlK Up aNd bE LiKe, "i'm iN LoVe wItH YoU."

From: Karkat

ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? SHE'LL SLAP ME. OR LICK ME. OR BOTH.

You can't escape the thought that maybe, Karkat is kinky enough to like those things. Wow you need to keep your mind out of the gutter. You make it official, your mind is filing divorce with the gutter. Now.

To: Karkat

My gOsH MoThEr fUcKeR. tErEzI DiGs cOfIdEnCe, GuYs wHo aRe sO FuLl oF ThEmSeLvEs tHeY ExPeCt pEoPlE To jUsT LiKe tHeM. bE An aSsHoLe aNd yOu'lL GeT LaId iS HoW DaVe oNcE PuT It.

From: Karkat

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THAT'S IT, I QUIT. SUCK MY BULDGE. BYE GAMZEE.