Gender Bender Naruto: The Series
By: KioKat
Summary: We all know Naruto, the #1 knucklehead, loudmouth ninja, right? Well, what if He had been a She? What if the whole Naruto world had been flipped around? The kunoichi now shinobi and vice versa? Join us on the adventure of a lifetime with Uzumaki Nariko, Konoha's #1, knuckleheaded Kunoichi!
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Chapter 9: Bell Test – Part 1
(Completed: 11-08-09)
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'Two hours,' Seiichi fumed within his mind. 'Two hours...'
Yes, once again, Team Seven was left waiting on their tardy jounin sensei to arrive. Though the scenery was different—a training ground rather than the class room of the day before—the question remained...
Where was their teacher?
Seiichi glared at the dirt beneath his feet, arms crossed and shoulders hunched, as he leaned back against one of the trees surrounding the large practice area. His stomach growled angrily, fueling the irritation he felt towards the silver-haired woman. He clutched his midsection, grimacing at the sudden sense of déja vu that seemed to wash over him.
He couldn't believe he had actually followed Kairi's stupid instruction! Really, it was bad enough that he had only been able to pick at his dinner the other night, but for her to order them against eating breakfast? That made the entire situation that much worse!
He carefully disregarded the fact that she had merely warned them against it than actually ordering them. How could he have eaten with the kind of description she had given of what was to come that day?
Shuddering lightly in memory of the brief but intimidating explanation, he turned his head to the side, scowling as he recalled her other words from the day before and the particular section of the instruction that was the true source of his annoyance.
"Tomorrow, I want you three at Training Ground 32, bright and early, 0700 sharp. Don't be late~!..."
The pink-haired boy snorted at the final portion to her directions. Don't be late... Right, she was the one who needed a lesson in punctuality!
'0700? Psh!' his Inner growled. 'It's 9 right now!'
Seiichi had arrived there at seven sharp, just as their new sensei had asked, joining Sakaye who had been there long before him, which furthered the assumption he had made while in the Academy that the Uchiha was a stickler for being early.
About an hour or so later, Nariko had stumbled into the clearing in a sleepy panic—however she had managed that oxymoron—and even then, at around eight in the morning and obviously late, the blonde had still been earlier than their teacher!
Seiichi gritted his teeth in frustration. He didn't like the looks of this. Thus far, the woman had been late for their two and only meetings with her. The pink-haired boy groaned at the thought. These were bad signs, he figured. Bad signs...
He reluctantly turned his eyes to the vacant space before him. Were they really going to have to face this every time they were arranged to meet?
Oh god, he hoped not...
In the meantime, Nariko sat at the base of a tree nearby, blinking her eyes blearily as she tried to wake herself up. Even half-asleep as she was, the blonde knew they had been waiting quite a while. She also knew that she had been late, and if she had been late, then that meant that their teacher was also late...
Very late, in fact.
The young girl moaned softly and rubbed at her eyes. She was so tired... And hungry too! She placed a hand to her grumbling stomach mournfully. It was terrible. Today she had planned on stopping by Ichiraku's for breakfast, but after what Kairi had told them the other day, she had been unable to do so.
Her poor tummy growled painfully and almost sadly Nariko liked to think. The blonde sniffed and rubbed the cloth-covered skin above it, only hoping that the silver-haired jounin would arrive soon.
Sakaye briefly glanced in annoyance at the blonde on hearing the noise, but then returned her gaze to the vacant grounds before her, staring at nothing in particular and yet seeming intensely focused all the same. She rested against the trunk of an oak on Seiichi's other side, legs crossed and palms set lightly upon her knees.
Her eyes narrowed as she broke from her trance to scan the practice area. On seeing no sign of their absent jounin sensei, she returned her eyes to the front, seeming just a little more disgruntled than before.
Seiichi noted the action, also looking about the clearing ahead and gaining the same results. Sliding down to sit like his teammates with a frustrated sigh, he prepared himself for a long wait...
Poof. "Yo."
Early lethargy forgotten, Nariko was on her feet in seconds. "You're late!" she cried accusingly, jabbing her finger in the jounin's general direction.
Kairi raised her eyebrow. "Didn't I tell you it's rude to point?"
The blonde blinked at her, but glared again. "That... That's not the point! You're late! Again!"
"Why yes, I am," the woman replied without hesitation, "but you see, I just so happened to see a kitten stuck in a tree as I passed-"
"Liar," Seiichi growled, his previous concerns of the day before gone in favor of the bad mood that had been growing since arriving to find their sensei nowhere in sight. After all, he had already made his first impression yesterday. No need to hesitate today.
Kairi's eyebrow quirked a little higher on hearing his response, but she smiled secretly beneath her mask, instead placing her hands on her hips and turning to the three genin before her.
"Alright, I suppose we might as well get started then," the silver-haired jounin said, reaching into her pouch to pull out two silver bells. "Now, here's what I want you to do..."
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Kairi's instructions had been simple enough: Get a bell or be sent back to the Academy. Easy, right?
'Wrong,' Seiichi grumbled within his mind, crouched stock still upon the branch beneath him.
He carefully peered through the leaves to see the silver-haired jounin standing casually, precisely where they had left her when they had leapt away to hide.
'Shinobi Rule #22,' the pinket recited to himself. 'When faced with an unknown opponent or one of higher rank, conceal yourself and observe them from the shadows.'
That had been one of the first rules the rising genin had learned back at the Academy. The lesson had been drilled into their heads time and time again over the years: better to hide and learn than to attack and be killed. Thus, that is what Seiichi had done and what his fellow teammates had proceeded to do as well.
...Or so he had assumed.
The boy's olive green orbs suddenly went wide as he took note of a short figure standing behind the female jounin. He knew that stance; he knew that grin; by god, he knew that shock of bright blonde hair and orange jacket...
It took everything Seiichi had not to beat his head against the trunk.
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Kairi shifted her stance slightly, letting her gaze drift almost lazily around the clearing.
'Well, at least I know they learned one thing back at the Academy...' she thought to herself. The woman shook her head lightly. She would have been terribly disappointed if they didn't even know such a basic rule as that.
'But this is just the beginning...' she glanced about once more. 'Only time will tell if they're truly cut out to be-'
"Hey, you!"
The jounin paused, blinking once in surprise. There was no way that that blonde had really just announced-
"Hey, I'm talking to you here! You could at least turn around!"
Suppressing a sigh, Kairi acceded to the girl's request, turning so that she faced the female preteen behind her.
The orange-clad girl grinned broadly at the jounin, pleased to finally have the older woman's attention upon her.
"Much better!" Nariko chirped. "Now, as I was saying..." She placed a hand on each hip, feet set apart in a confident stance, as the corners of her lips pulled tight once more in her trademark grin.
"Congratulations, Sensei!"she exclaimed excitedly. "You're about to face defeat at the hands of Uzumaki Nariko-sama, future Hokage!" She went to place her hands in the seal she had learned only a couple of days ago. "So, ready or not, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Her eyes squinted. "Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"
Kairi's eyebrows only rose slightly as several Narikos appeared before her. Of course, she had already been informed of Nariko's newly-acquired technique, but it was still another thing to see the blonde use it herself.
'Hm...' the woman internally mused. 'Depending on how well she can make use of this technique, things could get interesting...'
Externally, Kairi tilted her head slightly, observing the whiskered girl before her.
"Lesson One: Taijutsu," she said simply. "Let's see what you can do."
The crowd of Narikos grinned, charged the jounin...
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...and failed.
"Argh! This is cheating, I swear! Where's the rule book! I wanna see it! Urgh! Let. Me. Down!"
The jounin merely sighed softly, crouching to pick up the small bell while Nariko struggled helplessly above her.
The blonde wriggled and writhed, unable to pull her foot free from the rope bound around her ankle that made her dangle from the tree she had sleepily lain against only thirty or so minutes before.
Seiichi watched them blankly from his branch, ignoring the slight twinge in his legs from sitting crouched for so long.
'Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!' his Inner growled in frustration.
For not the first time, Seiichi agreed with him.
'What the hell, Nariko!' he shouted within his mind. 'Who falls for a trap that simple?'
He mentally groaned to himself. She couldn't really be that trusting, could she? He could not be stuck with that as a teammate!
The pink-haired boy suppressed a soft moan as he watched Kairi lecture the blonde about "Looking underneath the underneath" and "It can not be cheating if I said anything goes."
This was crazy. Even an eight year old would have known better than to pick up a bell that was lying on the ground! How could anyone think it was a good idea to–
'Hm?'
Seiichi paused in his internal rant for a second, frowning at the silver-haired jounin below. Something seemed... a little off. She looked... different than before. It was something about her, something about her posture. He narrowed his eyes. Something...
The green orbs rounded in shock as he silently gaped at the older woman.
...Kairi was open for attack.
His breath caught for a moment. No way... No way. She had been on guard from the moment she had stepped in the clearing, despite what her nonchalant attitude might have brought one to believe. For her to suddenly be off guard...
His gaze darted towards Nariko, who fumed while the jounin continued her lecture. His eyes widened. That must have been why. Her attention was focused on Nariko, so she must have slipped, just for that moment until she turned elsewhere. Even jounin were allowed to slip up, he figured. Right?
...Right?
Seiichi swallowed, slipping his hand back into his weapons' pouch. This was his chance, possibly his best and only chance. She had said to attack with the intent to kill, so that was what he would do. He'd get the bells, and then... and then...
'One for Sakaye-chan, one for me,' he realized, eyes widening again at the realization.
He took a soft, but shaky breath, refusing to see the true implications of what that meant. If he could do this, then Sakaye would surely appreciate it. Him snagging the bells for them both assured they would make it as genin—real genin, that was, not this false title that they had apparently been given.
Seiichi frowned at that, but shook his head, gingerly fingering the sharp points and cool metal that made up the handful of shuriken still buried in his pouch. Inhaling again, he glanced around anxiously, futilely hoping to catch a glimpse of his dark-haired crush.
Truthfully, he didn't actually expect to see her, but he thought it might have lessened his nerves a bit if he had.
He sighed quietly, gritting his teeth and preparing to whip the weapons toward the unknowing jounin, when a slight twinge of... something stilled his hand.
He reluctantly spared Nariko a glance, recognizing the emotion for what it was. The memory of his guilt from the day before only added to the sudden weight in his chest. Clenching his jaw once more, Seiichi shut his eyes and tightened his grip upon the small shuriken. There were only two bells. If he did this and succeeded...
He cut the thought short, refusing to be guilted out of his plan.
The pink-haired boy slowly opened his eyes and locked his gaze upon the jounin.
'Sorry, Nariko,' he thought, silently giving her the apology he had meant to grant her the day before, as he slipped the shuriken from his pouch, 'but Sakaye-chan comes first.'
With that, he whipped his hand forward, letting the shuriken fly.
"Therefore, there is nothing wrong with-" Kairi cut off with a choked gasp as the sharp weapons embedded themselves in her body.
Nariko screamed as the jounin collapsed, blood spurting from her wounds.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" the blonde cried frantically, expression panicked as she whipped her arms about. "She's dead! She's dead! She's dead! Oh god, don't you think that was a bit much? Oh no! Oh nooooooo!"
Seiichi's face grew pale as he observed precisely where the shuriken had hit. His eyes wandered to throat, stomach, back, eye...
The pinket choked back the horror that threatened to strangle him as his mind rebelled against the sight before him. No way. It wasn't possible! He couldn't have- She couldn't actually be- She had told them to attack with the intent to kill, god damn it! Wasn't she supposed to dodge or something! She was a jounin! Why hadn't she-? How could she-?
He froze completely, unable to halt the terror that slowly consumed his mind. She wasn't moving... She wasn't speaking... Oh god, he didn't think she was even breathing!
He only vaguely registered Nariko's continued, horrified screams of "She's dead!"
"Oh my god, help!" the blonde cried, continuing to swing her limbs about madly. "Someone get help!"
Seiichi jerked to, his mind suddenly kicking into overdrive. Help... Help! He had to help! He had to do something! Was she really–
However, as he went to move forward, the body poofed away to reveal a stout, moss-covered log: definitely not human and most certainly not Kairi.
The male preteen stared, numb with both shock and relief. He hadn't killed her. He hadn't killed her. She was alive! Somewhere nearby, she was alive and well, and...
...she now knew where he was.
Every muscle within Seiichi's body went tense as that last thought registered, and his mouth grew dry.
'...Trap.'
The pink-haired boy jerked back with the knowledge, instantly taking off into the underbrush.
'Crap, crap! You idiot!' he screamed within his mind, beating himself up for his mistake. 'Of course it was a trap! She's a jounin, you idiot! A jounin! What were you thinking! Now she knows where I am and I might have just given Sakaye-chan away, too! Crap!'
All at once, it hit him. The fact slapped him so hard he nearly missed the branch he had been leaping towards.
'Sakaye-chan...'
His expression became one of horror once more. 'Oh no, I've got to find her!' Immediately, he leapt to the ground to search for the dark-haired girl. 'It's bad enough I screwed myself over, but if Sakaye-chan gets hurt-'
Seiichi turned only to come eye to eye with Kairi.
For a moment, there was only stunned silence as the pinket gaped at her with dumb disbelief.
"...Yo."
The preteen snapped back, a strangled scream caught within his throat as he tried to scramble away. Whipping himself back to run, he halted on finding the silver-haired jounin before him again, but this time with her hands placed in a seal.
"Let's try out Lesson Two, shall we?" she said almost cheerfully, before muttering the name of the technique.
Lurching into action, Seiichi jerked his arms up to cross before him, eyes squeezing shut...
There were several seconds of silence. No attacks, no sound, just silence.
Carefully, Seiichi cracked an eye open to peer through the gap between his forearms. To his shock, no one was there.
He blinked in surprise and lowered his arms in confusion. What? Where had Sensei gone? Why hadn't she attacked him? He was so sure that whatever technique she had muttered was going to do him in.
He eyed his body suspiciously, checking himself over just in case she had done something without him realizing it. However, after a moment of patting himself down, he came to the conclusion that he was perfectly unharmed.
The pink-haired boy scratched the back of his head, extremely puzzled. Why hadn't she done anything? Why hadn't she attacked him? Had something happened elsewhere that he wasn't aware of?...
His mouth suddenly went dry for the second time that day. Wait a minute.
Sakaye.
His head snapped up and whipped about madly. Oh no, Sakaye! He had completely forgotten! What if Kairi had run off to attack her!
'No way!' Seiichi protested vehemently, tensing himself to take off and find her. 'I won't let that happen! Nothing's going to happen to Sakaye-chan while I'm-'
"S-Seiichi..."
The preteen froze for a moment, startled to hear his crush's voice. Then, he quickly spun around, expression that of relief. "Sakaye–"
He froze again, but this time in pure, unadulterated horror.
Blood... Blood... It was everywhere! The red liquid stained the Uchiha's clothing, a large blotch of it swiftly blooming upon her chest and stomach, growing with each second. The vital fluid slipped from her mouth and coated her fingers, or at least on that of her right arm. A gaping wound at her shoulder was all that remained of the left, blood dripping to splatter upon the ground. Her leg jutted painfully from her hip, the angle awkward and leading the pinket to believe it had been dislocated or twisted sharply. Her hair spilled about her face, crimson smeared upon her pale, pale skin, a sickening contrast, while that dark, rich blood slid down the ebony strands, clumping them together as it went.
She shakily lifted her gaze to his, eyes laden with hazy, heart-wrenching pain. "Seii...chi..."
Her remaining arm, which had been clutching her stomach, released its hold to reach out to him, finally allowing her gory and mangled insides to spill out from within her.
That did it.
Seiichi staggered backward in panicked and terrified revulsion. He stumbled to his hands and knees, feeling bile rise within his throat. Coughing harshly, he retched what was left of his half-eaten dinner from the night before onto the suddenly cold and unforgiving dirt.
His head swam and vision blurred from the intense heat that had passed through his throat. He dry-heaved once as he trembled, but finally collapsed to the ground on his side, shaking hard. Oh god. Sakaye, Sakaye. It couldn't—Oh god, he was too late. He was too late! Too late...
He was going to watch her die, he realized. Oh god, he was actually going to have to watch the life drain from her body. He was going to have to hold her and watch her eyes go blank, her expression fade, her body go limp. He was going to have to see her die...
And it was all his fault.
The guilt was enormous; he didn't think anything could hurt more than this.
Had Seiichi been in his right mind, he might have noticed that the image had slowly faded and that Sakaye was indeed alive and well.
But he was not and his face was turned the other direction. Thus, the guilt ate at him and his stomach flipped as he choked back the nausea.
'Sakaye-chan, Sakaye-chan. No...'
Within moments, his brain shut down, forcing him into the blissful throes of unconsciousness.
oxoxo
Kairi watched him from a tree nearby, tilting her head to one side curiously.
"Hm..." she hummed softly. "Perhaps that was a bit much..."
Shrugging, she turned her gaze back towards the foliage behind her, an odd twinkle in her eye.
"On to Victim 3 then..."
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Sakaye hopped about the trees, her dark orbs flickering to glance around her in search of the silver-haired jounin.
The female Uchiha had been forced to flee when, shortly after deciding to attack the off-guard Kairi, her male teammate had chosen to take action before her, apparently having noticed their jounin's open stance as well. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on the perspective, the pink-haired boy had incidentally revealed their jounin's supposed lack of attention to actually be a trap meant to draw out the attacker's position. Knowing that to linger could possibly lead the silver-haired woman to her location, Sakaye had reluctantly fled, slipping the handful of shuriken back into her pouch.
She frowned lightly at the memory, a little miffed about Seiichi initiating her plan before she had. Yet at the same time, if she had been the one to attack...
A brief flare of chakra made the dark-haired girl take pause. She narrowed her eyes and glanced in the direction from whence it had come, pressing her palm against the trunk of the tree whose branch she had stopped upon for support.
She silently puzzled the flare over in her mind. 'Ninjutsu? Genjutsu?'
Her frown deepened as she then questioned who had attacked and who had been the opponent. With naut but a moment of thought, she came to the obvious conclusion, her eyes narrowing again.
'As far as I know, Nariko is still dangling from that tree. That leaves Seiichi and that woman, but I doubt Seiichi was the one to attack.' Sakaye leaned back against the bark, crossing her arms as she continued her train of thought. 'He must have taken off just like I did after he attacked the jounin, so she must have followed him and chosen to battle him next.'
The Uchiha scowled, uncrossing her arms and leaping down from the branch to land crouched upon the ground. Straightening in one swift movement, she carefully observed her surroundings for any sign of Kairi.
It was as she was doing so that a voice spoke behind her.
"Ah, there you are."
Sakaye silently glanced over her shoulder. The jounin she sought did not look up from her novel at the motion. She instead continued to rest casually within the boughs of a tree not ten feet behind the preteen.
The dark-haired girl observed her for a long moment, only narrowing her eyes as the woman flipped the page of her novel and giggled softly to herself.
"Oh, how cute..." the jounin murmured.
Sakaye's eyebrow twitched in slight indignation at going ignored as she turned to face the woman fully.
After another minute of silence, Kairi finally spoke again.
"In case you're wondering, yes, you are the last one left." She tore her visible dark orb from her book, indicating that the Uchiha had her attention. "Nariko failed Lesson One: Taijutsu, Seiichi succumbed to Lesson Two: Genjutsu..." The female jounin gently closed the book on her finger and quietly leapt to the ground, before sliding the novel back open. Her gaze returned to peruse its pages. "And now, I'll introduce you to Lesson Three: Ninjutsu."
She said the words as if she had spoken them one too many times before, which, for all Sakaye knew, she had.
"...You shouldn't underestimate me," Sakaye said, sliding into a battle stance. "I won't be that easy."
"Oh, really now?" Kairi replied, glancing up with a smile. "That's what your blonde friend said."
The dark-haired girl immediately tensed, fists clenching as she glared. "...Don't compare me to her."
Then, she made her move.
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Fun Facts:
– Yes, yes, I am so creative with chapter titles. At least it fits, right?
– Every time I read Kairi's last line, I want to replace "your blonde friend" with "she."
"...You shouldn't underestimate me," Sakaye said, sliding into a battle stance. "I won't be that easy."
"Oh, really now?" Kairi replied, glancing up with a smile. "That's what she said."
– Nariko calling herself "Uzumaki Nariko-sama" is based off my hearing Naruto introduce himself as "Uzumaki Naruto-sama" in the Forest of Death, when arriving just as Sasuke was preparing to hand over their scroll to the disguised Orochimaru. I had switched it over to the subbed version because, strangely enough, alternating between Japanese and English makes it seem all new again.
– The portion in which Seiichi sees the gruesome genjutsu of the wounded Sakaye was written long before I began work on this chapter.
– Seiichi's reaction to the genjutsu was/is inspired by Sakura's reaction to the Sasuke genjutsu in KyLewin's Naruto fanfic, Time and Again, one of the best and most realistic time-travel fics I've ever read. It even has a sequel! Grins.
– As I mentioned in a previous Fun Facts, Izumi commonly says "Is that so?" and now, as you may or may not have noticed, Kairi commonly says "Oh, really now?" Her first time saying so appeared in Chapter 6, during her first meeting with Nariko.
– I didn't want to cut the Bell Test in two parts, but this chapter had already hit 4000 words and the next is about 5200. That would have made a chapter that peaked at a whopping 9200 words.
– Kairi, if you hadn't noticed with this Bell Test, seems to, arguably, be a bit harsher than Kakashi in her tactics. For example, instead of telling them they'd go without lunch if they didn't get the bells, she informed them they'd be sent back to the Academy. You could argue, however, that Kakashi's telling them they'd lose lunch and then changing it to them being sent back to the Academy is harsher. Depends on your perspective.
– Kairi's genjutsu of the dying Sakaye for Seiichi is based more heavily on the Manga Sasuke Genjutsu as opposed to the Anime one, which is greatly censored in comparison.