F is for Foxhole
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.
Foxhole (n): a pit dug usually hastily for individual cover from enemy fire
The humidity is a bitch and he fights to stay alert, to not succumb to the urge to just stop walking – marching – and find a nice piece of shade. The monsoons weren't so bad because it rained everyday back home. The sound of the rain hitting against his helmet reminding him of the heavy rains beating against the roof of his garage while working on some beat up old car. The sound of the rain on his poncho makes him think about the nights spent in a tent camping out, or rather attempting to, with his friends.
Sometimes the jungles remind him of home with the lush greens but then some bark of a command from the Captain will snap him out of his thoughts before they can go too far and too deep into the woods.
The long expanse of rice paddies fills him with mixed emotions. There's awe for the locals ingenuity and disgust because he's sick and tired of looking at them, wading through them. All he wants is to go home, be at home instead of here in Vietnam.
Jacob freezes as the Captain throws a fist up signaling for everyone to be quiet and still. Crouching down Jacob breathes a sigh of relief at being able to stop marching. There's a difference between marching and walking. He could walk for days but this was something completely different. It's the mindset, there's nothing casual and enjoyable about being told where to go, when to go and how to go.
The whispers quickly reach Jacob's ears that they've spotted a rat tunnel up ahead. His breathing becomes shallow as a cold chill takes over him. Reaching up his hand clenches onto the locket and dog tag around his neck praying that he won't be called this time as the ground vibrates with the force of the explosion beneath his boots.
"Black!" Despite the call for silence and the harsh whisper Jacob frowns at the realization that he can still hear the Captain's voice about twenty feet back.
The rest of them chuckle as Jacob's hiss of 'bitch' travels on the wind but without hesitation he quickly moves up the line and begins shedding his pack and helmet. Pulling out his firearm Jacob takes a deep breath before crawling in.
His thoughts, despite the horrible timing, always drift back home during these tense moments; moments where his life is in danger. At twenty, they drift to the girl he left back at home in La Push.
Leah.
They were playmates as children growing up and his sweetheart when early teens. There was a slight falling out his sophomore year in high school but by graduation she was his. They were married the next spring and even though they were living in his dad's house, she didn't mind and, in fact, seemed to enjoy hanging out with Billy. Waking up with Leah in his arms has been the greatest joy in his life and he'd do anything for her, to make sure she'll have anything and everything she could ever want.
Jacob stops for a moment straining his ears to hear the slightest rustle or wisp of air inside the small, tiny dark hole. Holes like this aren't new or foreign to him. When he was little Billy and Harry took him, Leah, Seth and a few of their friends 'hunting'. It was really just to teach them all some basic tracking skills and get them out of their mothers' hairs for a while.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
The small troops had wandered away from their tutors and were childishly tracking some kind of creature. The tracks led to a dark fox hole or bolt hole of some kind. Standing all together looking down there was a silence of apprehension over what to do next.
"A dog could go down there." Seth had stated and a few murmurs and heads were nodded in agreement.
"But we ain't got a dog." Leah snapped with a frown glaring down at the hole.
"Well…at least we tracked it." Quil said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"But we don't know what it is that we've been tracking." Leah stated and a few looks are exchanged as each of the boys could already see where Leah was going with this. Leah was, without a doubt, the tomboy on the reservation and never backed down from any challenge. It was plain to see that this was no exception. "I mean don't you want to know what it is?"
"We can look it up in a book." Embry offered up sheepishly while rubbing his toe into a mound of moss.
"Well, hell, we could've looked up this whole outing in a fucking book." Jacob and Paul couldn't help but chuckle at Leah's use of the 'adult' language as Seth gasped and covered his mouth.
"So what, you're going down there after it?" Paul asked with a smug grin on his face. The challenge was evident and Leah stood chewing over the thought in her head, her eyes having never once been taken off of the hole, before she sighed and threw her back in resignation.
"Guess so if no one else will since it seems as if I'm the only one that's interested enough." Leah said shrugging her shoulders and quickly getting on her hands and knees.
"Curiosity killed the cat." Sam grumbled with a worried frown.
"Let's hope so." Paul added as a light joke but hissed in pain as Jacob punched him in the arm.
Leah had crawled down into the dark hole despite the protests and pleading of Seth, Embry and Quil. Jacob didn't want her to go down there any more than they did but he learned early in life that once Leah set her mind to something there wasn't much that could change it. The only thing he could hear was his heartbeat and imagined that it was Leah's – beating simultaneously with his. That secretly she was just as frightened to go down the dark hole as he was to see her head, shoulders, torso and finally legs disappear down it.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
Not hearing a sound Jacob continues on further knowing that sometimes these holes could go on miles.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
"I can't believe you'd do a stupid ass thing as sign-up for the army." Leah grumbled walking into their bedroom. The whole country knew about the draft and Jacob was one of many of the boys and young men that volunteered to go. The military was offering so much such as college scholarships, the health care and pay that would be useful in getting him and Leah a place of their own.
"It's not 'a stupid ass thing'," Jacob said smiling as Leah sat down at the foot of the bed and began brushing her hair. Sitting back he watched her brush out her long black hair, his foot gently rubbing her lower back as they continued on their conversation.
"We don't need the money that bad." Leah said in response to Jacob's pros. Closing his eyes he could hear the worry in her voice, the sadness that she's trying to hide from him. Even in the way she was brushing his hair, her fingers combing through slowly, gingerly as if trying to savor and memorize this moment. There was a chance – a real good chance –many will leave and never return.
Slowly opening his eyes he was greeted with the sight of Leah's bare calves resting on either side of his arms. Ever since they were toddlers Leah had always loved his hair; brushing and combing it. Deep down inside he's always loved her legs and even though he knew he could never reach out and touch them, he always found some way to be as close to them as possible. To get the best of both their worlds, Jacob would sit in between Leah's legs, him on the floor, of course, and Leah sitting either in a chair or bed.
He gently kissed the inside of her thigh allowing a low hum of satisfaction rumble through his lips. The moment she breathed out his name, her voice breathy, low, and sultry and so close to heaven that he couldn't bare having some kind of distance between them.
That night they made love over and over again. Desire drove him to force all of her fears and worries out and replace them with the mutual pleasure that they experience when together. To touch her so intimately and so deeply that it brought her to the brink of tears, her tiny hands clinging to him tightly as her voice and body begged him not to stop. To let her know that she is all that he will ever need, that he will do anything all for the sake of her and that he will never be able to get enough of her.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
Jacob silently curses himself for letting his mind drift to that night as his erection is straining and makes crawling deeper painful. They had made love like that over and over, day after day to the point that Billy felt the need to go over Harry's for a bit. Silently, he knew he should've worn a condom but couldn't find the brain cells to do it the moment Leah was near. When he left home she was pregnant, they had just found out the night before he left and there were mixed emotions; excitement over the idea that his wife, his Leah, was going to be carrying their first child. Anger and anxiety realizing that he wouldn't be there this very first time to watch her stomach grow and swell, to help pick out baby names, make a crib with his own hands and celebrate the baby's birth with his friends over for a beer.
There have been pictures of Leah's progress that fills his nights with bittersweet smiles and entertains the rest of the squad over the betting of if it'll be a boy or girl. The sobering thoughts of the baby back home, waiting to be born and meet the world helps Jacob with his problem as he pushes forward.
The story of 'Leah and the Fox hole' is something else about his life that entertains the boys at night or when they are lucky enough to enjoy a warm beer. The idea of a girl diving into a dark hole, not knowing what awaits her impresses them all – especially the Captain. Obviously, she came out alive and 'without any harm to that pretty face of hers', said Walker, a boy of nineteen of Cherokee descent, "But what were you all tracking?" – It's the million dollar question that everyone who has ever heard the story wanted to know.
A low release of breathe fills the tiny hole and despite the soft sound of it – it sounds like a gale force winds inside of the tiny hole. Jacob feels his heart racing at the sudden realization that he's not alone, that there's someone else down in the hole – with him. Then for a second, he catches it, the brief outline of a human body lying a few feet in front of him. The moving body of a man, a man that probably has a wife or a girlfriend back home and so desperately wants to get back to her.
Two gun shots ring out into the air, cutting the heavy silence and the men above ground unconsciously shiver despite the heat. Concern had started to grow the longer Black was down in the hole. They all dreaded going down the hole but, in this moment, they all really wish that it hadn't been Black.
Captain stands glaring darkly down at the hole awaiting Black to show up and explain himself or more silence requiring another grenade to be thrown.
Ten minutes, that's the amount of time given to allow him to scurry his ass back up to the world. Ten minutes to reassure everyone above ground that he is alright. Ten minutes to save someone the agony of showing up at, what was once, his doorstep and be forced to give the mother of his child the heartbreaking news.
"Walker, chuck another." Captain orders at twelve minutes.
Walker's eyes are wide with a mixture of shock, worry and silent pleading, his face having paled at the order. Slowly standing to his feet, he pulls a grenade without another moment of hesitation.
Orders are orders.
Walker can feel his brother's eyes boring into him, pleading and begging him not to do it and he licks his lips, his fingers trembling, stomach churning and his head swimming with the realization of what he is about to do.
"Oh fuck," Black breathes out with a sigh of relief as he pulls the rest of his body out of the tiny hole. "That took as fuckin' long to get in as it did to get out."
Jacob doesn't see the look of relief and joy on his brothers' faces as he drags the rest of his body out of the hole and stretches out his limbs. They've all been lucky in fighting empty fox holes and the fear that has washed over them is something that will stay with them forever but in this moment all they can do is crowd around him; some cussing at him, others laughing and all wondering "what the fuck took you so long".
"It was a deep ass hole." Jacob snaps before standing and grabbing his pack. Walking back to his place in line Jacob notices the grenade sitting in Walker's hand. He swallows back the bile threatening to come out now, fully, grasping the reality of what was about to happen.
He had shot the dark figure sitting in the hole – both of them. And for a moment he was frozen, scared stiff, his heart beating like a terrified rabbit, his throat dry and his skin crawling. Down in that hole he saw both life and death; the life that he left behind, the possibility of death and the life that he plans on having with Leah and their child – children.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
The day he left there wasn't a dry eye in the place but Leah was doing her best to at least make sure that she didn't contribute to the waterworks. Her eyes were soft, moist with unshed tears and her bottom lip was trembling. Her voice didn't betray the strength she was putting on but Jacob knew; he always knew when she was scared.
"Remember when we went hunting?" She asks him after taking a deep breath, swallowing down another lump of tears. Jacob nods his head as he hugs her tightly realizing now that he'd not get to see her, hug her and kiss her every day until he came back. "I was scared – terrified, when I went down that dark hole."
She had convinced to him all of her fears and terrors in that moment, the long crawl into the unknown, getting ready to face the unknown. He shivered and held her tighter as she described how she felt being down there alone, far from the watchful and protective gaze of their fathers and for a moment the sense of helplessness.
"Just listen carefully, pay attention to everyone and everything, don't drop your guard, don't hesitate and come back to me – to us. Better yet, return this." Leah says before taking off her locket, a gift to her from him on their first anniversary, that holds a picture of them as kids.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
Her words have stayed with him through boot camp to the long plane ride over and even now. He promised her he would do all of those things and he has only ever broken one promise to Leah – he told Sue that she was pregnant.
"A life," Jacob says aloud as he walks past Walker.
"What?" Walker breathes out and is surprised by the hoarseness of his own voice. It's the first word he's spoken since Jacob went down the hole.
"That's what Leah came out with 'a life'." Jacob says with a far off gaze in his eyes. "She found a litter of pups – most of them were dead but one was still alive. We were tracking just some rez mutt." Jacob says with a smile as he recalls the excited and prideful look upon Leah's face as she climbed out of the hole. She had cried, she admitted to him later on, cried like a baby while holding the puppy so happy and relieved that her fears were over.
He had cried down in that hole and wasn't aware of it until the ringing in his ears had stopped.
"What she name the dog? Did she keep it?" Walker asks finally putting the grenade back and letting Jacob's calmness wash over him.
"Leif, she named him Leif." Jacob says with a smile as he moves back into his place.
The conversation and mood returns to normal or semi-normal for soldiers in the middle of a battlefield. Wrapping a fist around the locket, that is tied to his dog tags, Jacob smiles and quickly blinks away the tears threatening to come out, thinking back on a memory that has never made much sense to him until today.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
Another rainy day, Jacob sighed and stretched out on the porch, laying his head in Leah's lap, a bold move of a bold thirteen year old when her parents are away at a Council meeting. His fingers casually reached up and brushed the skin of Leah's side lightly, mostly cautiously. Looking over Jacob sees Leif, lying down on the porch with them, his head resting on his paws and his big brown eyes attentively watching their interactions. His short but thick coat is curly from the rain and his ears stand up alert like a wolf's.
"Lee," Jacob called and can't help the smile that spread as Leah hummed her response, her fingers lazily playing with his hair. "Why did you name him 'Leif'?" Jacob asked as the dog only shifts his attention from Leah to Jacob for a second at hearing his name.
"It's short for 'relief'." Leah answered and before Jacob can ask further details, she silenced him with a kiss – their first.
A good name for a great dog and a powerful emotion.
XXIIXXIIXXIIXX
An emotion that he may feel many times over between now and when he will get home – home to his wife and family. For a moment, Jacob debates over whether or not to share this experience with Leah the next time he has a chance to write her a letter while sitting in a foxhole. He snorts back a burst of laughter knowing that if Leah found out what the US Army had him doing, she'd fly out to Vietnam, verbally raping ever decorated soldier and out marching every outfit. No, he'll tell her this story when he's back home and he will make it back home.
A/N: Alright, so here goes my favorite idea for Fox. The idea came to me while watching the History Channel as they were talking about the rat tunnels in Vietnam and it got me thinking of my Uncles' 'stories from the foxhole' as they called it. About their time spent in Vietnam and what was going on while they were there.