Chapter Four
Tara woke up still feeling awful about the way she had treated Willow on the phone the previous night. She knew she had to talk to Willow and somehow right her wrong, but that didn't change the fact that she was scared. Her guilty conscience was certainly outweighing her fear though.
The entire time she was at school, the blonde's thoughts were not focused on her studies but on Willow instead. She thought of all the ways she could go about apologizing and tried to plan out exactly what she wanted to say. Luckily she didn't get called on at all in her classes that day. By the time her last class rolled around all she wanted was to escape the confining walls of the school, which is exactly what she did. She left abruptly when the final bell rang and went straight to Willow's, hoping that she'd find the redhead there.
When she arrived at her friend's house, Tara nervously knocked on the front door and smiled politely when the babysitter, Ingrid, answered.
"Uhm, hello. Is Willow here?" She asked, peeking around to try and catch a glimpse of the girl.
"She's up in her room. Do you want me to go get her for you?"
Tara shook her head.
"No, that's alright. I can just show myself up there if that's okay with you."
"That should be fine," Ingrid said with a smile, not realizing the two girls weren't exactly on the best terms.
"Thank you," the blonde replied before hurrying up the stairs.
She lightly rapped on the door to Willow's room, not wanting to just barge in on her.
"Come in," the familiar voice called out.
Tara slowly opened the door and saw the redhead sitting on her bed, hugging her teddy bear to her chest. Her heart sunk immediately when she saw the girl's red-rimmed eyes. She knew it was because of her that Willow was crying. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around the girl and assure her that everything would be okay.
"Tara… What are you doing here?" She asked, clearly surprised to see her after how last night's phone call had gone.
"I feel awful about last night. I haven't been able to stop thinking about how much of a jerk I was," Tara confessed.
"You're not a jerk. I never should have blurted my feelings out like that. I made you uncomfortable… I feel like an idiot."
Tara sighed and sat down next to Willow on her bed.
"You're definitely not an idiot, Will. There's nothing wrong with blurting your feelings out. I actually admire you for that. It's hard for me to express my feelings sometimes because of how shy I am. I get really scared. And that's why I hung up last night. Not because you made me feel uncomfortable," she explained.
Willow slowly nodded her head as she processed the information.
"Okay, well you don't have to be scared with me. You can tell me exactly how you feel or don't feel and not have to worry. I don't want our friendship to be ruined just because I can't keep my mouth shut."
The blonde reached over and stroked the back of Willow's hand lightly with her thumb.
"I like you too, Willow. I like you a lot. That's what scares me so much. If my parents knew how I felt about you they'd disown me. They would never accept a relationship between the two of us..."
The two of them sat in silence for a few moments after that, both girls unsure of what to say.
"I don't think my parents would approve very much either," Willow said finally, feeling the need to fill the silence. "What if we just keep our feelings between the two of us for now? I didn't even know I was attracted to girls until I met you. I need some time to just explore all of this without everyone in town knowing about it."
Tara nodded slowly. She never thought a secret relationship would be something she wanted, but it did seem like it was the best solution for right now. They just needed some time together without everyone's attention on them.
"I think that's best for now," she replied softly as she allowed her fingers to intertwine with Willow's.
The redhead's emerald eyes locked with the sapphire eyes of the blonde and they smiled at each other instinctively.
"So since we're in private right now, would it be okay for me to kiss you?" Willow asked nervously.
"I thought you'd never ask," Tara answered with a sly smile before beginning to lean in towards Willow.
The redhead closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against Tara's. Feeling the blonde's lips on hers just confirmed everything she'd already believed. Hesitantly she pulled back and allowed her forehead to rest against Tara's, both girls grinning from ear to ear.
"That felt really nice," Tara said breathlessly. "I don't know about you, but I'm glad you blurted out your feelings. It's feels really good to not have to hide how I feel about you anymore. And now I can feel free to do this anytime I want to."
She leaned in for a quick kiss and pulled away giggling.
"What's so funny?" Willow asked self-consciously.
"Nothing's funny sweetie," Tara assured her. "I just tend to get a little giggly when I'm happy."
"I make you happy?"
Tara nodded without hesitation.
"You make me so incredibly happy, Willow. Before I met you all I did was sit around my house getting yelled at by my father and made fun of by my brother. I never really had much to look forward to," she explained. "But then I met you and suddenly I did have something to look forward to. The time we've spent together means the world to me."
"I know what you mean. Before you, I didn't really have anyone. My parents barely even talk to me, let alone the kids at school. But you actually like talking to me. You make me feel good about myself. Nothing else matters when I'm with you."
Tara was left speechless after that so she leaned forward and softly kissed the redhead square on the lips. Willow smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around Tara's neck, deepening the kiss as she did so.
"Girls?" Ingrid's voice called from down the hall.
Immediately both girls broke away from the kiss and scooted away from each other, not wanting to get caught by the babysitter. She poked her head in the door, smiling when she saw them both just sitting there quietly.
"Just wanted to check on you. Things got pretty quiet up here. Want a snack or something?" She asked, oblivious to everything that had just happened between the girls.
They both just shook their heads and smiled politely at her until she went away.
"That was close," Willow said, breathing a sigh of relief when Ingrid left, closing the door behind her.
"We should probably start closing doors behind us when we know we're going to be kissing," Tara suggested. "Then we don't have to have a heart attack every time we hear someone approaching. We have to be careful if we really don't want people knowing about us yet."
"You're right," Willow agreed. "We'll be more careful from now on."
Tara glanced down at her watch and sighed when she saw it was nearing 6:30. She had to get home for dinner before her father threw a fit about it.
"Gotta get home, huh?" Willow asked, pouting slightly.
The blonde gave Willow one of her signature half-smiles before leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Don't pout at me," she told her girlfriend playfully. "I'll see you tomorrow, I promise."
Willow giggled and stood up so she'd be able to give Tara a proper goodbye hug. She kept her arms wrapped around the blonde a bit longer than she typically would, smiling to herself as she inhaled and caught a whiff of the sweet vanilla honey shampoo wafting from Tara's hair.
"Do I get a goodbye kiss?" The redhead asked once she finally pulled back from the hug.
"Of course you do. How could I not?" Tara replied before leaning in and quickly pressing their lips together. "And now I really have to go, sweetie. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Bye Tara," Willow spoke softly, biting down on her lip gently as she watched her girlfriend leave.
She could still feel her lips tingling from that kiss and her entire body was just humming with happiness. Never in a million years did Willow think that she could feel this happy all because of one person. One very special person.