I cry until my chest is sore and I can barely breathe through the stuffiness of my nose. I'm aware that hours have passed, but I'm not sure how many and I don't feel like checking. I don't really feel much better, or at least not yet, but I do feel numb and very drained. At some point, I've laid down and curled up around my old pillow, apparently needing something to hold onto as everything else went to hell.

Laying there on my Vault bed, holding onto a pillow, I realize how fortunate people in the Vaults are. I've rarely seen a decent mattress, much less a pillow, out in the wastes. Don't forget the water, my father's voice murmurs in my ear. It occurs to me that, as hard as it is to survive, I prefer the simplicity and lack of most amenities of the wastes, and that I'll never be completely comfortable in the sterility of a Vault again.

Something inside me relaxes a little at that thought; the part of me that had been so worried about decided between Amata and the wasteland has finally gotten a decent answer from my subconscious. It's one less thing to bother with and I'm grateful that the stress over that has finally ebbed.

There's a knock at the door and I jump at the sudden intrusion, mumbling a "come in" as I dry my cheeks.

The heavy clumping of boots tells me right away that it's not Amata, and I glance up to see Butch swaggering in.

"Hey, uh..." Butch's voice trails off into an uncomfortable silence as he realizes that I've been crying.

It's an understatement to say that I'm surprised that Butch is the one that's come to see me, but I figure that he's probably the only person left in the Vault that doesn't hate me, since he was the only one to stand up for me in the clinic.

"You okay?" he asks lamely, fidgeting by opening and closing his pocketknife.

I snort in response. "Oh, I'm peachy. Isn't that obvious? What do you want?"

Butch looks like he can't quite decide how to respond. After a second, the corner of his mouth quirks in a grin. "Amata said somethin' about a big announcement. Figured you oughta be there for it."

I roll my eyes, tossing the pillow aside and sitting up. "Why would I want to go back into a room filled with people who hate me? You saw them, Butch. Give me one good reason to put myself back in that situation."

He leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. "I wouldn't let nothin' happen. If you can save my mom and then survive out there for half a year, you're okay in my book." Coming from him and given our history, that's one of the biggest compliments Butch could give me. "Anyway, Amata personally asked me to come get you. So I guess it's important."

I grumble a little bit, but get to my feet and follow Butch out without a glance back at my old home. It has no value to me anymore, and I'm curious about what Amata's speech is going to be about.

As Butch and I amble back toward the clinic, he starts talking to fill the silence. "Hey, so I was thinkin'. What if I left the Vault, too? I mean, if you made it, I can make it easy, right? I'll start a gang, and we'll be the badass-est gang in the wasteland!" He continues rambling about his new plan and I can't help a smile from forming on my face.

Oh Butch. If only you knew. Imagining him encountering a deathclaw and shrieking like a little girl makes me nearly burst into laughter, but then the clinic comes into view and a wave of solemnity crashes over my shoulders.

Butch nudges me with his elbow and grins, then leads me into the clinic.

There's hushed murmuring from the rebels gathered around, and Amata's standing in the center of the clinic, pacing a little and looking antsy. Butch clears his throat once we're inside, and everyone goes quiet.

Amata's eyes flick to me, then to the floor, and she suddenly straightens up and seems like she's in charge.

"All right, everyone," she begins, her voice strong and commanding, "I have my first announcement as Overseer."

Everyone shuts up to listen, and all eyes go to Amata. She seems to stand a little taller and her posture takes on a sense of authority.

"I know we've all been struggling for a long time, and our struggles aren't over yet. Things will change, but they can't change overnight. Today, we took a major step in the right direction. The old Overseer has stepped down, giving way to a whole new era in Vault 101." She's interrupted by a few cheers, and a proud smile starts to grow on her face.

"To keep the Vault strong as we forge ahead into the new, open future, we need unity, loyalty, and the willingness to make hard choices and sacrifices." She's still standing strong, but something seems to change and her smile seems forced.

Judging by the rapt expressions on everyone else's faces, I'm the only one who noticed her voice nearly catch on her last few words. I feel an ominous pressure building in my chest as Amata falters and glances at me.

"What happened today wouldn't have been possible without some special help," she continues, holding my gaze for a moment, then tearing her eyes away. She points to me, and I can almost feel everyone's eyes flicking over to me. "She succeeded in what we all tried and failed to do. That in itself is worth more than words can probably express."

Amata pauses again, taking a few steps toward me and addressing me directly. "You saved us from what has probably been the biggest conflict in the history of the Vault. You're our hero. But no matter how much you did to save us, you're still the cause of all the fighting and bitterness that's lingering here. So you're still our hero, but more than that, you're our biggest weakness. I have to ask you to leave."

I'm stunned into silence by Amata's words, and no one else is saying anything. I feel a lump rising in my throat as my eyes begin to burn. Rather than start crying again, I raise my chin defiantly, turning on my heel and walking into the office. I grab my bag and stuff the things that had been taken out back in.

When all my stuff is packed away, I sling my bag over my shoulder, walking out of the office.

The walk through the clinic feels unfathomably long, mostly because of all the freely hateful, cruel stares and murmurs of "Good riddance."

Amata's standing by the door, practically radiating her stern leadership. Her posture doesn't quite match her eyes, and there's something in them that I can't decipher. Not that I particularly want to right now, either. I feel completely shattered by her words. All that talk about how much she loved me, and now I'm being kicked out.

My own thoughts about leaving the Vault and Amata come rushing back, and I know for sure that any hope for them is completely dashed now.

I realize I've stopped walking and am staring at Amata, the room unbearably quiet all around me. Amata's eyes are still unreadable, though a trace of sadness has become visible on her face. I want to roll my eyes and scoff; she has no right to be sad, since she's the one getting rid of me.

I swallow past the lump in my throat and brush past her more rudely than I know I should. As I walk away from the clinic, I'm tempted to kick one of the lockers in the hall to vent some of my emotions. The only thing that stops me is the knowledge that I'll probably cripple my foot, and I'd rather not have to limp back to Megaton and explain that to the grouchy old doctor there.

I make it halfway to the atrium before I hear footsteps behind me. My hand goes to my pistol instinctively, even though I know who it'll be. I turn and glance over my shoulder, unsurprised to see Amata there. Her eyes are downcast and her posture lacks the authority it had earlier.

"I wanted to walk you to the door," she mumbles. "Is that... I mean, can I?"

I'm quiet. I would almost rather her not, but I know I'd never forgive myself for giving up the last chance I'll have to see her. I give her a little shrug and continue toward the Vault entrance. Amata falls into step beside me, but neither of us say anything.

The air between us is loaded with tension, and I can almost feel my heart breaking all over again. Just hours ago, being able to spend time with Amata would have made me feel like I was on top of the world. Now she feels like an enemy, almost a stranger, to me. Thinking of her, cheesy as it sounds, was what has kept me going through some of the most difficult situations of my life. Her being so close to me now feels suffocating, and almost makes me shaky with anger and confusion.

I want to yell at her and ask her what's just happened and why everything's going to hell, but before I can work up the courage to do so, we're standing in front of the Vault door.

"I'm sorry," she says after a few long moments, looking anywhere but at me.

I have no idea what I'm feeling. My chest feels like it's being twisted and torn apart, and it somehow hurts worse than all of my near-death experiences out in the wastes.

The sirens go off and the Vault door opens as Amata activates the switch at the panel. The screech is loud enough to make us both flinch.

I glance between Amata and the opening leading to the wasteland, unable to figure out how to make my feet move. "Amata, I-"

She shakes her head, silencing me. "Please, just... leave. This is hard enough."

I open my mouth again, but nothing comes out. For some reason, I glance down at my Pipboy, my eyes going to the clock. It's a little past 6 PM and a sudden thought strikes me. I look down the tunnel to the wasteland and see golden beams of light streaming through the slats in the wooden door. Angry and hurt as I am, this is something I have to share with her, no matter what. That's enough to convince me to turn back to Amata.

She's got her arms crossed over her chest protectively, still avoiding meeting my gaze.

"Amata," I breathe, my tone gentle and coaxing. "Please look at me."

It takes her a few seconds, but she sighs and lifts her chin, meeting my gaze. I see tears in her eyes and it takes everything in me not to wrap her up in my arms, no matter how much it would hurt.

"Trust me?" After another long hesitation, she gives me an almost imperceptible nod. "Come with me." When she opens her mouth to protest, I quickly add to my plea. "Just for a few seconds, I swear."

I almost can't believe it when she gives me another tiny nod of agreement. Without taking my eyes off of her, I back toward the Vault door. She follows me right up to the threshold. I step across it, feeling the now-familiar crunch of gravel under my boots.

Amata stops just inside the Vault, fear obvious in her eyes. She looks at me almost pleadingly, everything about her expression asking me not to make her do this.

I reach my hand out to her, putting as much of a smile on my face as my broken heart can manage. "Trust me," I say again. "I won't let anything bad happen."

Amata tentatively takes my hand, then forces herself to take a shaky step off the metal flooring of the Vault and onto the rocks outside. I squeeze her hand proudly, leading her to the wooden door at the end of the tunnel.

As I open the door and we step out into the wastes, we're treated to a spectacular sunset. The sky is full of fiery oranges and royal tones of purple. I glance over at Amata, satisfied to see her awestruck at one of nature's last surviving beauties.

The colors swell, then fade to a dark violet as the sun dips below the horizon. Amata's still somewhat overwhelmed as I lead her back through the tunnel. I stop at the threshold, turning to look at her. The Vault lights inside create a sort of halo around her, and I can't decide if it makes her look more beautiful or if it's some sort of cruel irony. I want so desperately to hate her for this, but something inside me can't.

We stare at each other for an indeterminable length of time, simply memorizing everything we can about each other.

All of a sudden, Amata's face crumples and she takes a few steps toward me, throwing herself into my arms as she begins to cry.

Almost every single part of me wants to shove her away, to show her some of the pain she's set upon me, but my arms go around her anyway, cradling her gently. After all, if this is the last chance I'll ever have to hold her, I'm sure as hell not giving it up.

"I didn't want this," she sniffles, clinging to me as if her life depends on it. "B-but I had to! You saw how everyone reacted. There'd have been... been another revolt. I swear I didn't want this to happen," she whimpers, burying her face in my shoulder.

I'm at a complete loss for words. Even though she's pressed up against me, it feels like there's a million miles between us. It amazes me how quickly everything seems to have changed. Just hours ago, I was waking up in her arms, and now...

"Why aren't you saying anything?" she asks, wiping tears from her cheeks. She pulls herself out of my arms and looks up at me.

"Just... why? Why didn't you fight for me?" I bite my lip, hoping to ease the tremble in my voice. "You're the Overseer, damn it! You have the power to do whatever you want!"

"Not all of us are like you," she shoots back. "We can't fight everything! We can't just run out of the Vault, guns blazing, and do what we have to do to survive! I wouldn't be able to shoot someone so I could survive!"

"'Guns blazing?'" I repeat. "Wait, you think I'm mowing down everyone I come across? Are you serious?" The haunting conversation we'd had about killing comes back to me, and I can almost hear a voice crowing "I told you so!" in my ear.

Amata's eyes flick to the floor, the uncomfortable little shift telling me that I was right.

"Amata, we talked about this. I only do what I absolutely have to. It's not like I'm some completely different person."

She hesitates. "Maybe not, but... You have changed." Her eyes come up to meet mine. "You're... rougher, somehow."

I huff a little at that. "Yeah, I guess seeing my dad die in front of me, having to fight for my life every day, and getting my heart broken by my best friend doesn't really soften me up," I retort bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" she fires back, sounding hurt. "I'm having to kick my best friend out of my home, knowing that you're going to be in mortal danger, and knowing I can't do anything to protect you." Fresh anguish appears on her face. "You have to be careful. Promise me you'll be careful."

I'm quiet. I don't want to promise her anything, not when I'm hurting so badly because of her. I know the odds, especially now that the Enclave's involved in Project Purity. Right now, part of me is hurting so badly that I'd almost enjoy a fight to the death with the Enclave, knowing I'd have no shot at surviving. Another part of me is instantly sickened at the thought, so I do my best to push it from my mind.

Once again, we're left staring at each other in silence, completely at a loss for how to handle our last few minutes together. There's so many angry things we could say, but they seem to die our throats.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Me too." I am sorry for the way things are happening. If I could, I'd change it all so there wouldn't be so much hurt for either of us.

"Maybe we'll see each other again," she sniffles.

We both know that's not true, but I nod anyway. "Maybe so."

A charged silence stretches between us, though Amata finally breaks it.

"You need to leave." She barely manages to get the words out without her voice cracking.

The words sting all over again, and I feel a lump rising in my throat. Not trusting my voice, I just nod again.

Despite what we've just agreed on, neither of us seem to be able to move. It's possible that we could be here forever if we just continue staring at each other, wishing the situation was different.

As we stand there in the entrance to Vault 101, I'm suddenly struck by the memory of the first time we were here, with Amata trying to smuggle me out of the Vault. I'd been terrified of leaving the Vault and heading into the unknown wasteland, without a clue as to whether or not I could survive. While I'm better prepared this time, I realize I'm still scared to leave the Vault, but for different reasons. Leaving now means walking away from the only girl I've ever loved, forever.

I search for a way to put a positive spin on the situation, but I find none. I look at Amata and the emotion in her eyes makes me realize that we're both waiting for each other to step up and make the first move. I know that if our positions were reversed, I'd never in a million years be able to force Amata to leave, which I means I have to be the strong one. Damn.

I clear my throat. While it hurts almost more than I can bear, a small part of me can understand the reasons why things are ending up this way. That alone makes it slightly easier to step up and be the adult. "I guess that's it, then?"

She seems sick at the words, knowing they mean forever, but she nods, drying her tears on the sleeve of her jumpsuit.

"Then do me a favor?" I ask gently, waiting until she looks at me to continue. "Be happy, 'Mata."

She lets out a miserable bark of laughter. "Yeah right. That's impossible. You're leaving."

I can't help but feel a little better; at least after everything else that's going on, she still loves me. Despite the solemnity of the situation, a little smile tugs at the corner of my mouth.

Amata draws a shaky breath and looks up at me. "Be careful," she begs again.

I nod this time, more to ease her mind than anything. "I know what's out there now, so I'm prepared for it."

The worry in her eyes eases slightly at the thought.

Our time is running out; if we draw this out much longer, the rebels will get mad and come looking for their new Overseer and find her here with me, their most hated enemy. An upset sigh escapes me before I can stop it.

Amata's eyes are still trained on me and I meet them and offer her a sad little smile.

There's a sense of finality in the air, and I let my instincts take over in our last few minutes together. I step toward her, cupping her cheeks in my hands.

"I love you," I whisper before leaning forward and kissing her.

I fill the kiss with all of the passion and love I have for her. She returns it after a moment of surprise, and we get lost in each other for a few precious seconds.

When we break apart, Amata's crying again, and I know if I stay any longer, I'll start, too. It's up to me to be the strong one for both of us, so as much as it kills me to do it, I turn away from her.

"Goodbye, Amata."

She tries to choke out a response, but all that comes is a gut-wrenching sob.

My entire body is screaming at me to go comfort her, but I ignore it and shakily take a few steps toward the door to the wasteland. I make it about halfway down the tunnel before I turn around.

Amata's still in the doorway, her arms wrapped around herself as though they're the only things holding her together.

I lift my hand in a last wave, turning and going to the slatted wooden door that separates me from the wastes. My hand goes to the handle and I hesitate, waiting to hear the Vault door screech closed. After a few painful moments, it does.

The sound makes me open the door and step through it into the wasteland. The little door falls shut behind me with a soft chak as my eyes adjust to the darkness.

I wonder for a moment why my vision is blurred, then I realize that I'm about to start crying again. I'm tempted to collapse and let myself bawl like I had earlier, but I force myself to stay standing. Everything in my chest constricts and my heart threatens to break all over again.

I draw a deep breath of the fresh wasteland air, letting the gentle breeze soothe me a little. I know if I let it, my mind will berate me for what I've just done, so I start trying to distract myself. I somehow manage to force my thoughts to Project Purity, thinking about the lives that I'll save by finishing my parents' dream. Like usual, a little glimmer of hope at the thought of pure water forms in my chest. I take another breath, focusing on that hope and trying to magnify it so it blocks out everything else.

After a moment, it fails to grow at all, and I'm left feeling just as hurt and empty as before. I sigh and start walking toward Megaton, trying not to let my grief overwhelm me.

A few hours later, I end up in Moriarty's Saloon, nursing a drink as Gob cleans the bar and Nova argues with Moriarty.

"What'sa matter, smoothskin?" Gob asks, slinging the rag over his shoulder and coming over to me. "You're not normally so quiet."

I frown at my glass, swirling the scotch in it around a little. "Trouble on the homefront," I answer after a moment, downing the rest of my drink and pulling a few caps from my pocket. "Got my heart broken earlier today."

"Oh." Gob hesitates before pushing the caps toward me. "On the house," he mumbles, giving me a sneaky little grin. "If you want, I mean... uh... from what I hear, Nova's good at, uh, comforting..." Gob's gaze drops to the floor awkwardly.

I actually consider it for a second before snorting. I couldn't do that. Not so soon after everything that just happened. "Thanks, Gob, but that's okay. I... I'll be okay eventually."

Even though I know that I'll be hurting for a while, the truth of my words shoots right to my core. I will be okay. The thought alone brings back the little glimmer of hope, and I find it in me to manage a half smile, though I'm not sure if it's the idea of the future or the alcohol that puts the smile on my face.

I get to my feet and hand Gob the caps again. "A tip for my favorite bartender," I tell him, pretending not to notice that I'm wobbling slightly. "Have a good night."

I wander out of the saloon and toward my house, heading inside and crawling into my bed. I force myself not to cry myself to sleep, holding onto the knowledge that I'll be okay as I drift off. As sleep begins to overtake me, I can feel the resilient wastelander in me preparing myself for whatever new quest tomorrow will bring, whether it's fighting through a broken heart or risking my life for the good of the Capital Wasteland.