I jerked up my bed and sat suddenly feeling suffocated. I was surprised to see Dimitri as the doors opened. He was the least person I ever expected to visit me- and he was the first after 5 days- I think, I lost track of the time- of loneliness, it could have been Lissa or Adrian or Abe or Janine, but it's Dimitri.

Dimitri.

The love of my life. My life was perfect before he showed up AGAIN- well sort of. My life was never perfect- it started when Dimitri was turned into a Strigoi and now that he's back after Lissa- a spirit user, turned him back into a damphire, it went worse.

He had said that he doesn't love me anymore, that he doesn't deserve to love, and be love after what he had done, I persuaded him before that he still have feelings for me but eventually gave up.

But that doesn't change the fact that I still love him, it would always be true and pure even though it now have smudges of what I feel for Adrian who had always been there for me.

I faced my back to him, every time I see him I just feel hurt. Cheated. Lied.

I saw the two guardians left at my peripheral view. Leaving the two of us alone, he must have asked for privacy and they respected it, the two of us were the most well-known guardians, and well respected, but now, I don't know. "Roza" he said at last, aside the fact that I'm mad at him, and there are lot of problems to problem, I felt joy for the first time in my life in this prison, to hear his velvet voice echo in the cold walls of the room, that never failed to struck me and to hear him say 'Roza' once again that he uses whenever he feels compassionate.

I guess he just wants me to face him; I lingered on his words that sent me to memory lane, especially our time in the cabin where we gave up on each other.

I wanted to run to him and hugged him and never leave his arms ever again… "Roza" he said once again as soon as he realize I wasn't gonna reply, this time softer. I slowly faced him "What?" I wanted to blurt out with my cold voice but ate it back as soon as I saw him. His structure and face awed me. It's like he haven't slept in days- even as vampires we still need some rest.

Lines are seen just below his eyes, but it's still the same. The warm and comfort yet fierce and tough look of his eyes that never fails to amaze me, -it was the first thing I notice when we first met, It's what I think the same reason why I fell for those physical structure-, shows pity and compassion.

"Why are you here?" I asked in an expressionless voice "to see you" he said after hesitating. "Why?" I asked.

No answer.

I sighed "pls. just stop. Don't lie anymore just to make me feel better, cuz it ain't gonna work, it just makes it worse"

He was silent "I'm not" he simply said, I smirked "Right. That ain't helping, I'm gonna be executed in a month or so, to a crime I haven't done…" I trailed off "…I might as well give up… Abe's gonna find nothing to prove my innocence" I sadly said Abe had said that he would be my lawyer on my case. And I'm telling you he's never a lawyer, but I chose him over the lawyer Adrian's parent gave me. But he's my dad I might as well choose him.

"Don't worry, he'll find a way" he said assuring me "and Lissa's doing her best"… Lissa, I sighed and finally decided to walk towards the metal bars, were only ruler away from each other "pls take care of her for me. Tell her I love her so much and I appreciate EVRYTHING she's done especially turning back my love." I stopped and I saw him flinch "if only they could allow me… I would have at least made my last will of testame-"

"stop it!" he growled cutting me "You are not going to die, understood?" he exclaimed holding the bars that separate us

"no!" I immediately said "besides, there's no use of living anymore. My life is not gonna be the same, my name's been stained and the love of my life!" I exclaimed "…don't love me anymore" I whispered. Tears started to form in my eyes. I stared at his blank brown eyes "do you… still love me?" I asked afraid of his answer.

But there was none

"I'll protect you"

was all he said avoiding my question. I sighed and bowed my head. There was a long heavy silent "I love you" he suddenly blurted out of the blue.

I stared at him wide eye, I was about to say I love you too, but thought better, if he meant it he could have said it the moment I asked him

"I- no! please stop it! You're making it hard for me. I don't want to live my counted days in a lie. I'm going to die and that's it. I never thought I would die without a fight, I imagined dying with pride and honor, not like this. I was certain at times that it would be my death, but miraculously escaped it. I'm going to die because of the asshole responsible for this mess!"

"but" he wanted to oppose but thought better "hey are you alright? You look pale" he asked concerned, I relaxed and shook my head.

It was always Dimitri and Dimitri alone who could make me feel better. "I'm claustrophobic" I simply said "what?" he exclaimed "you could at least tell the guardians to put you in a bigger room and with a lighter color- it lessens the feeling, you might die of suffocation-." He stopped then thought "of course. You're pride. The same old Rose I know" he half smiled it's always the half smile I know and loved and at the very moment I could die. I missed those smile he flashes me. I wanted to kiss him and die happily- but of course I can't. And I can't leave Lissa along 'they come first' it was our mantra.