Never Saw Blue
Chapter 3
It was morning by the time Jeremy shook hands with the last police officer.
The police officer had taken both their statements and said they would get back as soon as they found something.
She hoped they wouldn't.
He closed the door and cleaned his glasses with his jacket. He placed them in his pockets and walked to the kitchen. She sat on the couch with her elbows on her knees.
She closed her eyes and wondered when the nightmare would ever end.
She looked back and he was sitting in one of the chairs.
"Jeremy, I'm sorry"
"What for"
In that moment Taylor's voice was in her head. "Everything"
"Sweetheart" with the concern in his voice he stood and sat next to her "You are in my life now and what happens to you happens to me too"
"Jeremy"
"Yes"
"I don't think" she took a breath "…I'm what you need right now"
"I don't understand"
"I have been thinking and I'm not what you need in your life. You deserve a woman who will love you"
"Don't you love me?" he knew he sounded childish but he didn't care anymore.
She shook her head in astonishment at how ignorant he was when it came to the degree of her love for him.
So she continued "You need a woman who will provide for you as much as you do for her"
"Is this about money?"
"No" she held his hands in hers and looked him straight in the eye and said "When were you planning on asking me again?"
"Asking you what?"
"Marriage"
"I didn't think it was the right time. I mean you were just robbed by those-"
"Why didn't you ask me again?"
"I told you-"
"No, you didn't ask me because you didn't trust me to say yes, you didn't trust me with your heart"
"Baby"
That was first time she ever heard him call her that. "I love you I do but I'm tired of proving my love to you"
"Gabriella"
"I have to get ready for school"
He watched her stand and walk away.
"You look like crap today"
It was two hours in the day and sitting amongst and hearing her friends talk about the latest fashion trends and outdated machinery did not give her the distraction she thought it would.
"You look like you didn't sleep at all" Taylor added
"Yes, she looks like crap"
"Thanks Sharpay"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm just a little tired Tay"
"Maybe you're just hungry? I didn't see you eat anything"
"No I had an apple this-"and her head fell on the table
When she woke the room was dark and all the curtains were closed. There was music coming from someplace she could not make out.
"Don't get up"
"Where am I?"
"Nurse's office"
"Nurse Lucille?"
"Yes sweetheart"
"I'm so tired"
"I gave you sedatives to make you sleep"
"Where are my friends?"
"It was getting late I told them to go home"
Only then noticing how dark it was getting outside she got off the bed and looked for her coat "What time is it?
"Just after four"
"I have to go home"
"Wait before you go can I ask you a question?"
"Sure"
"Your blood sugar levels are exceptionally low and I would subscribe you take plenty of carbohydrates to boost your immune system functionality"
"Is that the question?"
"Well, its procedure that I inspect your body for any abnormalities such as irregular mumps and bumps and I couldn't help but-"she looked down trying to form the words in her mind
"What is it?"
"Were you raped Gabriella?"
"What" she had never thought she would hear someone ask her that.
"You don't have to feel ashamed"
"I wasn't raped"
"I promise its safe here"
"I WASN'T OKAY!"
She tightened her coat around herself and grabbed her bag lying on the chair. "I have to go"
"I was raped too"
"What"
"Ten years ago, I was raped by two guys"
Gabriella held her bag tightly and held her emotion "Well I'm sorry about that"
"Gabriella"
"I have to go"
She pushed passed the woman and ran out the door.
She sat down by the stone and stared at the engraved words.
"MARIA SANCHEZ MONTEZ
WIFE AND MOTHER
YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED"
It was dark and the leaves were flying around the deserted place. The wind was picking up and she hadn't known she was cold until she felt a single drop of rain.
"I need you Mom" she looked down "What do I do now? I feel so lost without you"
She laid her head on the pedestal and closed her eyes.
She had never felt so far from her mother as she did now.
Feeling the drops pace quicken she felt strong hands pick her small frame. He carried her up in his arms and led her through the rain.
She felt too weak to care who it was but hearing him tell her everything would be okay she remembered.
She would never forget his voice.
With her eyes half closed she saw the trees and tombstones disappear until and felt herself being ridden to a place she couldn't care where.
She couldn't remember being in a car and time didn't seem to matter anymore.
He laid her on a bed and covered her with the covers.
"Where did you find her?"
She was sure that concerned voice belonged to Nurse Lucille.
"In a graveyard" he said
"Where am I?" Miss Lucille
"I'm right here honey?"
Lucille whispered for Troy to leave the room so could be alone with the young girl. Taking one look back he closed the door behind him.
"I'm right here?" the woman said sitting next to her on the bed.
"How did you do it?"
"Do what honey?"
"When you were-"she couldn't bring herself to say the words.
"When I was raped?"
"Yes"
"I didn't handle it much better myself. I locked myself in my room and never said a word, and I was twenty-three"
"You did?" Gabriella sat up
"Yes, I felt like I wanted to die"
"Did you ever tell anyone?"
"I wasn't going to until they tried to do it again"
"They came back?" she asked with her fear rising.
"I learnt if you keep quiet they almost always come back. So I walked to the nearest police station and they were caught three weeks later"
Gabriella looked down and mumbled "I'm not as strong as you are"
"Honey, were you raped?"
"Yes ma'am"
Lucille put her hand under her chin and lift her head "The longer you keep quiet the harder it will be to find them"
"I just want to forget it"
"You haven't told anyone have you?"
"No"
"Is my son the only one who knows?"
"He's your son?"
"Yes"
"What's his name?" she remembered Chad saying his name once but she was too mad then to focus.
"Troy"
"How old is he?"
"Twenty-two"
"Twenty-two" she said
"Yes" Lucille said
"Miss Lucille"
"Yeah honey"
"Did he tell you about that night?"
"Yes, he came back home bruised"
"Why"
"Apparently he refused to leave you in the street so they fought him with a knife"
"Was he okay" she didn't know why she was asking if he was okay when she vowed she would never forgive him.
"Ahh, don't worry about him, he's a strong boy"
"He saved me?"
"Gabriella, I know that you think it's his fault that you were raped-"
"Please don't say that"
"What"
"That word"
"Gabriella-"
"Can I sleep now, I'm tired"
"Yes sure"
Lucille waited for her to settle and fall asleep so she could leave.
"How is she?" he asked her
"In denial"
"You have to help her Mom"
"I am helping her"
"No, you have to help her. She has to get better"
"Why"
"She just has to"
He walked away.
He remembered the first time he had seen her.
It was December and he had came to Albuquerque to visit his mother for the holidays. His mother was invited to a graduation party that Taylor's Mother was hosting.
He and Chad had already graduated a year ago from high school and were in their second year of college.
He had gotten a scholarship for basketball but found himself doing odd jobs after graduation from UCLA.
He was in a room filled with people whom he barely knew. He would have rather stayed at home and played a couple of hoops.
The graduates stood in the middle of the circle while glasses were clinked in their name. He could still remember what she was wearing. A white dress with a bow in the middle, her hair flowed down her back and her laugh kept his from looking away.
He prayed she wouldn't look his way so that he could quietly observe her from the back. She laughed when Sharpay whispered something in her ear.
That was first time he met her.
After that day he visited his Mother more often just so he could see her in the distance.
He found an opportunity when he heard that UCLA was having problems about wage with a lawn mowing company.
Ignoring his Mothers disapproving voice he left his basketball to cut grass just so he could see her once so often.
He didn't know when it happened but his Mother pointed out one evening that he was in love with her. He had undoubtedly disagreed and called it rubbish.
But he stood and heard her plead with him to save her he knew he was in love with her. And he also knew that if he saved her from those guys he would prove his Mother right.
So he turned around and tried to shut her pleas from his hearing to prove his Mother wrong. He knew if he didn't stop those men and let them rape her he would prove to himself that he was not in love with her.
He thought he knew, until he saw her unconscious and pleading.
It was Friday, the time her Mother had died.
Gregg held a church service every year in her remembrance than to his house for refreshments. People sat in couches, others stood, whilst others were counting the hours.
She sat in her room fiddling with the lace of her dress. Taylor knew never to ask her if she was okay because she had answered the same question the whole morning. And telling people she was fine only made her feel worse.
She stood when she heard a knock on the door.
She opened the door "Hi" he said with a handful of flowers
"Jeremy"
"How are you?" he asked standing by the door.
"I'm fine- what are you doing here?"
"I just came to give you these" he forwarded the roses.
"Roses"
"I know they're your favourite" he said looking down.
"Thank you"
After a while he said "Gabriella"
"Yes"
"Am I allowed to say I miss you?"
"Jeremy"
"I miss you more everyday when you're not with me"
"I miss you too" she said
"You do?"
"Of course, you were my first love"
"Please tell me you still love me"
"I will never stop loving you"
"Is it because I didn't ask you to marry me again?"
She let go of the door and walked towards the window. He followed behind her.
"Jeremy, you don't trust me"
"I trust you with my life" he said behind her
"Not with your heart"
"Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it"
When she looked down the window she saw Chad and Troy sitting on the grass. She stared at Troy.
"Sweetheart" he called but all she looked at was Troy
"Sweetheart, please look at me"
She turned and he held her hands "I love you and living without you is something I don't want to do"
"After all the times I've waited for you to say those words you say them when I don't want to hear them"
"I don't know what else to say to make you believe my love is true"
She let go of his hands and walked towards her bed "You don't get it Jeremy, I was never unsure of your love for me"
"Then what is the problem?"
"The problem is, you're scared"
"Scared of what?"
"Because I'm so you young you think I'm just going to wake up one day and decide to leave you"
"WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU DID" he yelled.
"I only did what you expected me to do". Tears fell down her face "You have no idea how crazy I was about you"
The past tense in her voice broke his heart "Was?"
"I need time to think"
"Honey"
"Please give that time"
"All right" he put his hands in his pockets and walked away.
She walked back to the window and saw the nodding of her Dad's head and the excitement in Chad and Troy's faces. They passed a basketball back and forth.
That was the first time she saw him smile.
She looked at the flowers and back to Troy. She suddenly felt very confused.
When Gregg knocked on the door he saw his daughter asleep on the bed.
He smiled and walked towards the bed. He sat down next to her and stroked her hair.
"My little girl" he said looking at her sleeping face
"I'm sorry I've been such a downer these days. I know I always pull you away when it's your Mother's anniversary" he let go of her head
"I just miss your her so much. I can see how much this is hurting you so from now on I promise to be there for you. I will protect you the way a father protects his little girl. You're my baby and I love you so much"
There was a knock on the door "Mr. Montez" Lucille Bolton entered the room
"I'll be down there in a minute"
"Actually I was wondering if we could talk here"
"What about"
"Firstly I just want to say I'm sorry about your wife" she said
"It was a long time ago. What did you want to talk about?"
"Is there someplace quiet we could talk?"
"Yes sure, follow me"
He bent his head and let the water fall down his face. He pushed his hands through his cut hair and felt the warmth of the water fall down his body.
After having enough he closed the shower tap and wrapped the towel around his waist. Looking in the mirror he didn't like the person he saw. He didn't like the person he had become.
Looking away he decided to shave the brown area under his nose tomorrow and go to bed early. He tightened the towel and walked to the bedroom. He loved that Taylor and Chad had a guest bathroom. He would hate to walk around the house just to get to his room.
He was about to remove the cloth when he heard the window open and saw two legs come in the room.
He eventually saw her wet face. She stood shivering and her clothes stuck to her frame.
"What are you doing here?" was all he could say
"Troy"
"What are you doing here?"
"To see you" she said walking forward
"Why"
"I don't know"
"Taylor's room downstairs" he said walking back when she moved closer.
"I know" she walked closer to him and put her hand on his chest.
"What are you doing?" he asked trying to avoid the sensation he was feeling
"I need you to kiss me"
"What"
"Don't ask me why, please, just kiss me Troy"
He bent down with both hands not daring to touch her and kissed her shivering lips. Letting go as soon as he touched her he looked away.
"You're shivering" he said and she tipped on her toes and kissed him again.
"I can't do this" he said holding her hands away from him.
"Don't you want me?"
"Of course I do"
"Well I'm all yours" she tried kissing him again but he moved back.
"Why are you doing this?"
"I told you not to ask me why" she said getting frustrated
"WHY?"
"I don't know, okay"
"I don't understand a minute ago you didn't want to see me and now you're asking me to kiss you?"
"I know you want me Troy; I can tell by the way you look at me"
"ANSWER MY QUESTION"
"BECAUSE…you make me confused, one minute I hate you the other you're all I think about. YOU JUST DRIVE ME CRAZY!"
"So what are you doing here?"
"I had an argument with my Dad; your Mother told him I need to see a doctor she just didn't tell him why"
"DAMMIT, I told her not to say anything"
"I don't care what he says, I don't care about anything right now" she looked at his eyes. She could tell he was hiding his feelings from her. She just didn't understand why.
Gabriella took off her jacket and cardigan.
"What are you doing?"
"I told you; I'm all yours tonight, nobody has to know" she threw them on the floor and started with her jeans.
"You really shouldn't do that"
"Why not"
"I don't think you're ready for this"
"I know you want me Troy; I can see it in your eyes"
"This isn't right Gabriella"
She threw her jeans with her clothes on the floor. She stood in her underwear with a man who was holding himself back.
"Just kiss me"
She walked forward and touched his chest. He breathed when he felt her small soft hands run down his chest and back. She stood behind him kissing his wet back.
"Gabriella, please, stop"
She walked to the bed and sat down "Okay" she lifted herself and leaned on the headboard.
"What are you doing?"
"You asked me to stop, I did"
"Please cover yourself at least"
"Fine" she got under the thin covers and lay down.
"All right then" he took off the towel and grabbed a pair of boxers. He walked to the bed and sat as far away as possible. Her back faced him and he thanked God that he couldn't see her.
When he switched the lamp off he heard her light sobbing. Why would she be crying?
"Gabriella" he called her in the night and she only moved away.
"Leave me alone"
"Gabriella"
"Leave me alone"
"What's wrong?"
"You won't get it" she said
"Try me"
She turned his way "If I tell people I was raped no one will ever want me"
"Why would you think that?"
"You don't want me"
"Is that what you think?"
"Yeah, you can barely touch me"
"That's not why-"
"It is Troy, if you can't even touch me how can I expect people to accept it?"
"Believe me I want to you know..."
"Then why won't you?"
"I'm not a good person for you..."
"I don't care"
"No matter how much I want to Gabriella, I can't"
"It doesn't matter anyway" she turned back away and threw herself on the pillow.
He looked at her back. He had wondered what it would be like to be with her, to have her as his; even for one night. But here she was and he was letting her go.
He didn't know why he was doing it but he touched her shoulder. He ran his hand up and down her arm; he played with the strap of her bra. He moved her hair away from her arms and kissed them.
"I thought you didn't want to-"he kissed her when she turned.
He never stopped kissing her. He sat straight and lay on top of her. She dug her nails on his back and sighed when he kissed her neck.
They forgot about the couple sleeping downstairs when they fiercely took off the small items of clothing they had on.
Before having her completely he asked her one more time if she was sure and she took a breather and nodded. Their eyes were locked when he moved down. She felt him seconds later and the pain she felt was not as hurtful as she thought it would.
He wanted to stop when he saw her pained eyes but she held him tighter and closer to her.
Before she knew she wanted to scream.
His hands held on for dear life to the sheets and her hands held to his back to keep him from moving too far.
She had never thought she could feel such emotions. She studied about sex at school but the technicalities of it did not compare to the feelings.
She could not see the marks he was making on his back and with her mouth wide open he kissed her to make her to silence the sounds she was making. But his feelings couldn't hush hers for too long.
Taylor and Chad sat in the living watching a movie and a half asleep Taylor laid on Chad's chest. When he heard the noises coming from upstairs he turned down the volume and heard the sounds.
"Ha-ha looks like someone has company tonight" he whispered to himself and when Taylor shifted and opened her eyes he turned the volume up so she wouldn't hear.
"What" she mumbled
"Nothing, go back to sleep" he hushed her
When he awoke that morning he tip-toed to Troy's room to high-five him thinking the girl had sneaked out by then but when he opened the door he couldn't believe Troy could be so stupid.
Chad saw Troy and Gabriella naked with the thin bed cover Troy slept in every night. His arms were loosely around her.
"Is he up yet, I made breakfast" he heard Taylor walk up the stairs.
Chad found himself in a dilemma.
What did you think?
Thanks!