I can almost feel Kikyo standing beside me as I aim the arrow straight for the oak tree. I let it fly and it smacks into the tree, a little to the right of the circle that I drew. I sigh. Kikyo would have hit the mark, for sure.
It's been five years since my sister died, and I still think about her every day. Sometimes it feels like she's standing right beside me, watching over my every decision. Other times, she seems very far away. I know it's not her fault that she died, but those times when I'm all alone and desperate for guidance, I hate her for leaving me. But Kikyo would never hate. She was beautiful, and wonderful, and perfect.
I'm none of those things. At fifteen years old, I'm short, and not very pretty, and not very good with magic at all. Not that I have time to worry about my appearance. As part of my training I spend my time traveling around the countryside, slaying demons. A life spent wandering around is difficult, and tiring, and at the end of the day not worth the aching feet, but I'm determined to become a priestess like my sister. I'm not very good with magic: my sacred arrows are weak and my arrows of sealing are ineffectual, but I'm determined to get better. I must.
I sigh again. As nice as it is to have a goal, the actual doing takes so much effort. To be perfectly honest, I'd rather just settle down and have a normal life. Marry a guy, have some kids. But whenever I'm tempted to give up my training, Kikyo comes into my mind. She never gave up, so I can't either.
But that doesn't mean that I can't take a break. I pull my arrow out of the tree and turn to walk away. It's a beautiful day; why waste it? I can go for a swim in the river, or pick some flowers. Bows and arrows will exist tomorrow, but today the sun is shining. I'm near a village, so I might even get some decent lodgings tonight. If I'm desperate, I can even just find a rich man's house and offer to "exorcise" it for him. It's dishonest, I know, but can you blame me? Sleeping on the ground gets a little tiresome after about the third year of doing it.
I've been going on these "training missions" since I was twelve. After Kikyo died, I was too afraid to travel around by myself. I couldn't imagine being out in the world without her by my side. So for a year and half I hid in my village, nursing my wounded eye. With only my clumsy medicine, however, it never healed properly. I have an eyepatch now, but for the longest time I was running around with a huge bandage on my head. It helped to cover up my face as well, because I didn't want anyone seeing me, not now that my sister was dead. I got it into my head that since I only had one eye, people wouldn't think that I was good for anything. So I hid, huddled in the corner of the house where Kikyo used to live with me. I went outside as little as possible, and avoided the other villagers. That was my life until Master Hiroshi came to our village. He's a priest who made his living traveling around and slaying demons. He used to teach at a school for priests and priestesses, but he left after an incident which he will never tell me the details of.
Master Hiroshi is the most wonderful person I've ever met, besides my sister. I didn't think that when I met him though. When he first came to our village, I wouldn't go outside to meet him. Once he saw me, however, he became determined to help me. I've never been sure what he saw in me, or why he wanted to help me so much, but I'm so grateful for everything that he's done. Back then, though, I hated him. I hated that he forced me to go outside. I hated that he made me practice shooting arrows, because I hadn't done that since my sister died. And I hated that he made me use magic, because after what happened to Kikyo, I didn't want to be a priestess anymore. But after six months, I felt ready to try again. I stopped hiding inside, and I would go out for long periods of time. I stopped feeling sorry for myself because my sister was dead. And I decided that the best way to honor Kikyo would be to become a priestess myself. So here, I am, three years later. I'm still not quite ready to protect a village, but I'm on my way.
Well, I was on my way earlier today. Now I'm flopped in the grass on a riverbank, watching the clouds. I love to find shapes in the ones floating by. Over my head there's one that looks like a squirrel, and there's a flower shaped one off to my left. The grass under my back feels wonderfully soft, and with the sunlight shining on my face, it's a perfectly pleasant way to spend an afternoon. Forget about archery and magic and finding a place to stay. This is where I want to be right now, and for just an afternoon, maybe for just an hour or two, I am content. After my sister died, that's all that I ask for.