Innocent Banter
Chapter Four – Propriety
Propriety, or the conformity to established standards of good or proper behavior, was usually on the forefront of Alex's mind whenever he was in public or in private. As part of the Armstrong family, illustrious as it was, life was about appearances and honor. In fact, Alex's entire life was centered on the fact that honor was something that he should always bring to his family. It was shameful to be anything but honorable and that appearance was in fact everything. Everything about your appearance had to be so, so and even if you were the homeliest person on the planet with the right stance, walk, and demeanor you could waltz around in society easily. That was why, when Alex refused to do his duties in Ishval he was scorned by Olivier the oldest of the Armstrong brood. He had lowered the overall honor of the family and had shown a vulnerable side to himself – a side that was considered to be disgusting by Olivier as she believed any sort of weakness be it physical, mental, or emotional was utterly disgraceful.
And even though he knew he had disgraced his family he had hoped that Olivier would forgive him. However that faith was dashed and he was devastated when Olivier sent him a curt and icy letter that was as cold as Fort Briggs itself letter demanding that he never talk to her again without addressing her by her title. Why was this devastating for Alex? Alex had always looked up to Olivier, for lack of a better term she was his hero in every sense of the word. She was his big sister and someone he had looked up to and someone who Alex aspired to be like. He wanted to be just like his sister growing up except in male form.
When Alex was younger, around four-or-five his sisters Amue and Strongine were six and Olivier was ten. He was mercilessly teased by two boys. They called him all sorts of names in the beginning but the bullying gradually grew from just emotional to physical and emotional as well. Alex, of course, was smaller than average at this time and it was no small stretch to say he soon dreaded going outside till one day something happened
.
The gleaming rain fell like tears from the sky, reminding the young Alex that if he wanted to go outside today would be the best time to do so as, if he was lucky, his tormenters wouldn't be outside today due to the rain. He couldn't help but look worriedly outside though then back to his tutor who was snoring softly his short white hair framing his sleeping face.
Looking back to the window and watching the rain slip down the pane he couldn't help but feel hope surge inside of him, his eyes lighting up as the plan formed in his head. He would slip out of the house and his mother and father wouldn't notice he was missing yet as they both were very busy today. After all, today was Strongine and Amue's birthday they turned six tomorrow and so much needed to be done in such a short amount of time.
Moving out of the library, the mountains of books inside of it only reminding him that he had so much to learn before he could be considered a grown up. Slipping past the maids with a practiced ease was something that Alex had mastered as he was very small and he found great joy in sneaking up behind the unsuspecting help. As his light blond hair bouncing back as he slipped onto the banister of the stairs and slid all the way down to the ground floor. His eyes lit up as excitement peaked inside of him. The bubbly feeling of joy at the prospect of being able to go outside without being bullied was almost too much for him to bear!
Practically running as fast as his short legs could carry him Alex pulled a small little chair kept by the door for the shorter maids to dust with to the door knobs. Clambering on top of the chair he wobbled a bit, causing his heart to race even more with the sudden surge of adrenaline that the near-falling had caused. Leaning over to get to the door handle of the door he wasn't in front of Alex giggled, his soft laughter echoing in the empty room as he pushed the door open, climbed off of the chair and hurried outside.
The rain, soft and cool as it splattered against his face, refreshing him as he raced as fast as he could out of the direct line of sight around the house he dived into a nearby garden area. Racing about the blooming flowers and the shrubs he couldn't help but feel at peace with the world. It was a lovely place and he felt so happy when he was outside, it was where he felt alive and even at the young age of five he knew that he wanted to do something outside when he grew up.
Bending down when he reached the small little part of this garden where he knew some kittens were and he crouched down. Reaching into his pocket he carefully withdrew a stale bit of bread he grabbed from the kitchens earlier that day he shoved it up under the bush, hearing a soft chorus of mewls when he did so. He couldn't help but giggle as he felt his joy fill up and become visible with every move he made. Alex's breath was short and he waited, thinking maybe that they would be old enough to walk soon so that he would have playmates that wouldn't hurt him!
Suddenly, a dark shadow blocked out the dim light that the sun was giving from behind the ominous thunderheads. Looking back, shivering slightly at the thought of who could be behind him his heart sank as he saw Adolf and Hansel, two boys who were the children of two of the help. This wasn't going to end well for him and he knew it from the look in their eyes.
"Well looky here, if it isn't Crooked Nose!" Adolf snorted out, his hands on his hips as he stared down at Alex, whose eyes were wide with fear at what they could do to him. He was so much smaller than they were and it was very clear that Adolf was the leader whereas Hansel, the brawnier of the two, was the grunt. Even Alex could see and understand the status quo of that relationship and he didn't hate them, he feared them specifically Adolf as he was the brains.
"Wh…What do you want?" Alex asked his voice childlike and innocent but still tweaked with fear as he quickly withdrew his hand from under the bush and clutched them in front of him as he knelt on the ground.
"What'cha doing Crooked Nose?" Adolf asked his voice filled with malice.
"Yeah what'cha doing Crooked?" Hansel asked, giggling as he cracked his knuckles.
"Nothing…." Alex whispered shivering as the rain turned from refreshing to cold. 'Why are they outside?' he thought to himself as he trembled. This is what he was scared of, these two boys. At first they were good friends until they realized that Alex was an Armstrong and things went downhill. It was like they were punishing him for being well-off compared to them. Since that day they started to call him names, their favorite name being Crooked Nose due to the fact he had a rather prominent bump to his nose. Now that they both were bigger than Alex, each having gone through a growth spurt, they had also started to hit him as well.
"Liar!" Adolf yelled, suddenly drawing back his hand and punching Alex in the face. "Hansel, you know what to do." Adolf stated as he turned and looked at Hansel after Alex had curled up in the fetal position. At this point in time Alex was suddenly pounced on by Hansel and the blows started to come. Pain fluttered through Alex and all he could do was cry and scream for help, but soon his screams were muffled as Adolf pinned his arms back with his knees and held a hand over Armstrong's mouth.
However, Alex's cries and shouts had not gone unheard. Olivier, who already had aspects of her tough-as-nails attitude already at the tender age of ten, had heard him. It was clear that she wasn't like other girls and had an extreme distaste for the pink frilly dresses her mother bought her. She, in fact, only wore them to please her mother but she was planning to join the military when she was older so she would never-ever have to wear the frilly pink monstrosities again!
Even then though Olivier loved her brother, she wasn't good at showing it though, it was like something had traumatized her when she was still a toddler and she simply couldn't let herself feel vulnerable. In fact hearing her brother cry out for help and no one going to find him, well considering all were inside the brick house but her.
Sighing softly she hurried into the front yard and then she started to look for her brother. However, fear did ease its way into the corners of her mind when Alex's cries had stopped. Then, as she quickly approached the part of the garden's that Alex liked to play in she saw what she dreaded. Jumping in immediately she jumped into action and grabbed a hold of Hansel's collar, jerking him off of Alex with practiced ease. Then when he stood up and charged her she kicked him hard in the neither regions, causing him to double over in pain and start to cry, whimpering for his momma. Then Adolf stood up and ran since his lackey Hansel was down and out and since he was running Olivier saw no reason to follow him.
In Armstrong's mind however Olivier had saved him from death, he had a feeling the boys wouldn't stop and they were just so angry. On that day, she became his hero and his savior.
Leaning back in his chair at this point in time Alex chuckled, remembering that after that his mother found out about Olivier's actions and reprimanded her and promptly Alex began lessons in self-defense. Then, when he was twelve he had quite a growth spurt and shot up to five foot seven and then when he hit fifteen he shot up to six foot seven inches and since he had muscles and became a body-builder for the most part Adolf and Hansel never bothered him again. As for the kittens; well Poppy, one of the kittens that Alex kept after the little ones grew up, had kittens and he kept one of those and after Poppy died her little daughter Princess Lily became Catherine's little baby and where Catherine sat down or slept that is where Princess Lily was.
Slowly the door to the library creaked open and in walked Catherine, her timid demeanor quite a change from the near hereditary Armstrong demeanor. It was, in fact, very cute when Catherine thought she was a 'damsel in distress' at times as she was just as strong as Olivier but still slightly smaller which was understandable considering Catherine was thirteen. She was the very youngest of the Armstrong brood and some speculated that she was Olivier's child as Olivier came home on leave around the same time as Catherine came into the picture.
"Alex?" she asked as she stepped up to his desk and took a seat in one of the chairs at the front of it. She seemed nervous, but then again she was always nervous except when she was playing piano and that nervousness made her come off as a bit of a ditz. However, Catherine was anything but a ditz she was quite intelligent but she was also quite feminine which made Armstrong wonder what it would be like when she finally reached the age when males would start to court her. He was the protective big brother no matter what and he didn't want any boy to hurt her.
"Yes Catherine?" Alex asked, setting down the old leather-bound book and leaning back in his chair. Talking to Catherine would be a good distraction from the memories of the past.
"Alex, are you okay? You came in from work and all you did was come straight here. You usually stop by the music room and talk to me for a while and you weren't at dinner either." She told him, concern in her delicate voice as she wrung her hands, her blue eyes filled with that same worry but also fear, "Have I angered you?"
This hit Armstrong off guard and he couldn't help but sigh, Catherine truly was very innocent and he would have to calm her down before this evening otherwise he figured their mother would lecture him for upsetting her so. "No Catherine you haven't angered me. And I am fine, I'm sorry that I didn't stop by the music room to check on you." Taking a deep breathe he smiled at her.
"Then what is on your mind?" she asked still unsure if he was telling her the truth or not.
"Well today I met a foreign girl, her name was Tenzin." He answered, then he flushed slightly at how that could be taken especially from the shocked look on Catherine's face. "No not in that way Catherine, she is simply fascinating and I asked her out to tea tomorrow." He admitted, finally sighing as he saw the disappointment forming in Catherine's eyes.
"You do realize that what you did is improper right?" she asked, folding her hands demurely on her lap and cocking her head to the left.
"Oh believe me I know it is…but she made me quit thinking of Ishval for a while." He admitted, confiding this in his younger sister. He knew that Catherine wouldn't tell a soul, she knew how to keep things like this in confidence.
"So she is just a friend nothing more?"
"There is nothing more than that Catherine." He answered, folding his own hands in his lap and propping up his one leg on a nearby chair. "I just like to talk to her."
"Then what were you contemplating?"
"Aren't you full of questions tonight Catherine?" he asked, smiling at her as he fixed his spit curl. "The truth is deep down inside I couldn't help but think of how lonely it is to be alone in this world. I don't have any children or a wife. Strongine and Amue are both married with children of their own and they only visit every once in a while. Mom and Dad are enjoying the rekindling of their relationship so I can't talk to them, and Olivier hates my guts." He admitted, sighing softly. "I mean I don't want kids now and I'm not ready to marry but the thought of one day having those things is nice." Then Alex started to laugh, looking at Catherine, "And the one person in this family I can talk to happens to be my thirteen year old little sister who should be going to bed."
Smiling at him Catherine stood up, taking the hint in stride. "Well Alex, you just need to get over Ishval and maybe then you'll find someone your own age to talk to." And with that Catherine left the room in a flutter of pink skirts. Alex couldn't help but shake his head. 'That girl and pink…'
Looking down to his book at this point in time Alex quietly slipped the bookmark into the dusty old book and sat it on the corner of the desk. Then he stood up and grabbed his military jacket from the coat rack and headed to his room. He would take a nice warm shower and then attempt to catch some sleep. Hopefully he wouldn't have flashbacks to Ishval; at least that was what he was hoping.
As he walked down the corridor towards his room his large military boots sounded like a drum. It reminded him of how lonely this large house was with no one to spend his time with. However, his parents and his sister were happy and that was all that truly mattered to Armstrong. Other people's happiness meant more than his own as he knew that he had always been a weakling and some things never changed.
Stopping at the main corridor to the mansion he looked over the railing and smiled. There was his mother and father, twirling around to unheard music. They were holding each other close and dancing like they were young again. The appeared to be talking to each other and his mother's eyes were closed as his father gently played with her long hair. Smiling to himself he turned and walked down the main hallway and into the Southern Wing of the house. Once there he made a left and opened up the door to his room. Sighing softly he slipped out of his boots at this point and then out of his shirt.
At this point Alex stopped in his state of near undress and sighed. His room had not changed much from the time he was twelve. Sure the bed was bigger and some other pieces of furniture such as the dresser and the end tables had also been replaced. However, the color scheme had remained the same. The walls were a rich navy blue trimmed in a pearl-like white. All the furniture was black and the cushions and covers were Amestrian yellow. Alex's room was otherwise undecorated except for a small section of his room being home to his various sketches and sketchbooks.
In fact a little known fact about Alex was that he was a rather talented artist. It was something he had picked up on when he was learning alchemy and now it was a small hobby. It was an activity he enjoyed doing and although science and art did not combine well he only used his obscure talent to relax.
Tonight was the exception though as even though he was stressed out he simply did not have the mental energy to sketch something out tonight. All Alex truly wanted to do was to take that bath that he had promised himself and go to sleep. And with that thought of sleep entering his mind and staying he had no choice but to obey it.
Removing the last article of his clothing Alex stepped into the bathroom section of his bedroom suite and removed the last article of his clothing. Turning on the ornate faucet and sat down on the edge of the tub, looking at the floor from his perch before he looked at the mirror that was hanging nearby. 'What have I become?' he mused as the steam from the hot bath slowly started to fog up the mirror, starting at the edges before it fully covered his reflection in the mirror. However, he had saw all he wanted, he had saw that he had changed he had become more desperate more depressed and he needed distraction. The black circles that were under his eyes told him that he needed to sleep as well.
Slinging one of his legs into the water, wincing at the searing heat he eased himself into the tub and then brought his other leg in as well. Leaning his bald head against the cool tile he couldn't help but feel his body relax from the heat of the bath water. It was relaxing but he could feel himself go through the motions of taking a bath, his mind however was miles away, once again stuck in Ishval.
The smell of black powder, one of the ingredients in gunpowder, filled the air. Bodies of Amestrian soldiers were tense as they listened for any sound of an Ishvalan be that Ishvalan a man, woman, or child. Due to the executive order the State Alchemists were now deployed and their job was to help exterminate the minority group.
At first glance when the military first arrived Ishval was a desert paradise of sorts. The structures were neat and clean, a small amount of subsistence farming taking place with plants that would grow great in the arid desert. Desert goats and sheep roamed the craggy areas and it was very clear that the Ishvalans were quite at home in their environment and had adapted themselves to the climate expertly.
Now, years into the war all that was left were the broken bones of the once beautiful buildings and the farms on the outreaches of Ishval were gone. The sheep and goats had been butchered along with the shepherd boys and the travesty and devastation of war was all that could be found in this once semi-prosperous region. It was clear to many soldiers that what they were doing now was a form of butchery and the savagery of war weighed heavy on the minds of the soldiers, the exception being the ones who actually got thrills from the murders they were committing.
As a Major, and a State Alchemist, Armstrong was expected to commit all sorts of acts of violence. It went against his otherwise peaceful nature. He had only joined the military to follow in his sister Olivier's footsteps and to bring honor to his family name. However, that was quickly debunked as he soon found out there was no honor in what the military was doing here. That is why he had been so appalled when Kimblee killed those people he tried to free from the wall that he and some other Alchemists had built. That is why he was utterly devastated and held that child in his arms as he died.
These aspects of war no one could ever prepare Alex for. These aspects of war, the devastation and pain were something that Armstrong could not stand and all he wanted to do was heal people. That is why the aspects of alchemy that Armstrong focused on was healing and doctoring. He had heard of the Stone and what it could do but it had never fascinated him, that is why he focused on the Universal Solvent and that is what most of his Alchemy Research was on. However, that was something that the military had no interest in so when he started to go to the military academy his father, who had also been in the military, taught Alex the secrets of the Armstrong family alchemy techniques which focused on physical strength and kinesthetic energy.
Now in the war though Alex had shamed himself, by refusing to follow orders he was on the sidelines and was forced to do the menial tasks such as clearing away debris that was in the Army's way and building bunkers using alchemy as well as walls and trenches. It was basically busy work considering that it would be greatly discouraged to completely dismiss Armstrong as his father was a military legend known for his skill in tactics and maneuvering and his sister was up at Fort Briggs.
It was nighttime now in Ishval and Armstrong awoke to the screams of a young Ishvalan woman. Getting up Alex moved to the edge of the tent that he shared with some other State Alchemists and peaked outside. His eyes widened with disgust and shock as he saw exactly why the Ishvalan woman was screaming.
The soldiers that had found her, her sobs and plead falling on deaf ears, were raping her. This was apparently the worst thing you could do to an Ishvalan woman as they valued their personal honor very highly and it was clear from the woman's head covering that she was a married lady.
Alex clutched the tent tightly in his hand, to shaken to do anything and this shock turned to anger and trepidation as he watched a high-ranking officer join in the fun. However, his feet had turned to lead and he couldn't move the Ishvalan woman looked over at him, her eyes pleading with him to save her, her screams growing more frantic as she begged the soldiers to stop. Why was no one saving her?
Suddenly jolting back to the present Alex found himself clutching the washing cloth that he had used tightly, his blunted nails forming crescents into his palm through the plush cloth and his knuckles were as white as ever. Suddenly something dripped from his face and he carefully uncurled one of his hands and brought it up to his face. He was crying, after that had happened he couldn't help but cry. It had traumatized him the most out of all the things that happened in Ishval and it was the one thing that haunted him to this day.
'Why didn't I do anything to save her?' he thought to himself as he got up out of the cooled water and pulled out the cork, letting the sullied water escape it's capture.
Walking out of the bathing room he walked over to his bed and slipped into his pajama bottoms. They were simple in form and were cotton that was dyed a rich blue color. Alex wasn't very patriotic but he did love the color blue. It reminded him of the sky, of water, and of a time when he was innocent. War had changed him, he knew it had and there was nothing that would make him be the same again. He was no longer jovial and carefree and although he acted the part of a fool and was constantly talking about the prestige of his family he was only doing it to mask the pain he was feeling on the inside. It was all he could do to not keep from breaking down most days and so it was simply easier to put on the fake persona as the jovial giant and learns to cry on cue for the pain others could be feeling.
Sighing softly Alex lay down on top of his covers and he curled up on the bed. He didn't feel like burying himself under the covers right now. Again a sigh left Alex as he closed his eyes and pulled the pillow into his arms and nuzzled into it, a calm look on his face as he started to go to sleep. Soft snores escaped him as he curled up into a near fetal position trying to comfort hisself and protect himself from the dreams that were sure to come. However, his mind was a million miles away where he was dreaming a dream of the war once again, however the girl the soldiers were raping face was not clear but the color of her hair did seem familiar.