Hawke watched as the apprentice panicked. The fire that had simply flickered unsteadily beforehand, grew now bigger and hotter with each second. He shot a wary look at the bookshelves and took a step back, just in case. Why they let apprentices train fire spells in a room filled with old, definitely burnable parchment was beyond him.
At last, just as the fire started to eat away the carpet and make its way toward the shelves, Senior Enchanter Torrin cast an ice spell and the fire was gone in the blink of an eye.
"You know, in my experience this usually works just as well with flint and tinder. Let's proceed with that, yes?"
The apprentice looked about ready to break down and cry. Now that the spectacle was over, Hawke meant to return to his book – The Myths of the Fade – but Torrin caught his gaze.
Brilliant.
"Ah, Hawke! Would you terribly mind fetching us some tinder and flint? I'm afraid the lad isn't quite up for it." Torrin gestured towards the distraught-looking apprentice.
Hawke's lips twitched slightly as he contemplated the Senior Enchanter. Finally he nodded and put down his book.
Why he didn't protest that he was a mage, not an errand-boy? Well, his attitude hadn't changed over the years. Attention drawn to himself was bad. It was enough that everyone knew his name because hey, that's the apostate they brought in so late – the quickest Harrowing anyone's ever seen, I tell you!
He passed several templars on his way to the Laboratory where he knew Senior Enchanter Leorah kept such things. Of course he could've just gone to the stockroom to get what he needed from Owain – if he wasn't so unbelievably terrified of the tranquil. Embarrassing, maybe, irrational, certainly, but also very, very real. Even Anders had commented on his stubborn avoidance of these soulless people and the blonde wasn't exactly the most observant bird of the flock.
The Laboratory was all but empty: The few mages who'd been in there were leaving just as he entered. This was not unusual; what was, however, was that Senior Enchanter Leorah wasn't at her post, making potions and preparing herbs so that they would remain fresh for several days. Hawke sighed heavily. Her absence meant also that he would have to rummage through every cupboard, shelf and cabinet because in the years he'd lived in the Tower, he'd rarely come to the Laboratory.
With a look at all the storage units Hawke heaved another heavy sigh. What he didn't do for the sake of being regarded as harmless.
He pulled out drawer after drawer, opened cabinet doors and found everything except what he was looking for. Finally there was only one closet left. With a few long strides a slowly but surely irritated Hawke stood in front of it and threw the doors open.
A woman shrieked and Hawke stopped dead, eyebrows nearly vanishing into his hairline and it took every ounce of control to keep from openly gaping.
The woman's - he recognised her as Petra - face was furiously red as she desperately clutched the robe to her chest, attempting to cover herself. Anders didn't do much better, using his own clothing to hide behind, looking more embarrassed than Hawke had ever seen him before. "Andraste's tits..."
He raised a hand, passing it over his eyes as he tried to forget the picture that seemed to have burnt itself into his retina. It stuck. Very stubbornly.
He took a step backwards, cleared his throat. "Flint and tinder," he demanded without looking at either of them. There was a brief, confused silence, then Hawke heard shuffling.
"Here." Anders obviously tried very hard to sound nonchalant but his voice was just a tad too high for that to be true. Hawke chanced a very quick glance up, snatched the things out of Anders's hand.
Before one of them could say another word, he closed the doors into their humiliated faces, knowing that his own must resemble a tomato.
He turned on his heels and strolled out of the Laboratory, confirming his thoughts from beforehand.
Pathetic what I do to be regarded as harmless.
Hawke and Anders never spoke about that little encounter but it took weeks for them to be able to look each other in the eye again. And the picture stuck.
-DEAR TO ME –
One year later, the last thing Anders had expected when he'd woken up that morning, was that Hawke would barge in just after dinner, wide-eyed, breathing heavily and white as a sheet. He'd never seen his friend so – well, emotional and it was disconcerting, certainly enough to get his full attention. Urgently Hawke grabbed his forearms and leaned in close, so that his lips touched Anders's ear. Another baffling aspect, as he was normally very deliberate with touch. Before Anders could comment however, Hawke uttered the very words that shook him to the core. Proud, independent Hawke was the last from whom he'd expected them.
"Help me."
As it stood, Anders simply replied: "Of course."
Hawke looked over his shoulder, the haunted look in his eyes so familiar it hurt. Once he'd determined that they were alone in the mage's chambers, he let go of Anders and breathed deeply.
"Those years before, when you asked me about my family..." Hawke didn't meet his gaze. "I didn't give you an answer."
Anders blinked, a little perplexed. The other continued almost immediately, intent on finishing his story, if the quickening speed of his speech was anything to go by.
"The truth is, I was captured because I gave them the opportunity to flee. You see, my father and sister both are mages." Now Hawke looked up and Anders swallowed at the intensity in those piercing, turquoise eyes. "I would do anything to keep them safe."
Anders watched as Hawke began to pace, looking quite maniacal as he wrung his hands, eyes darting around the room without pause. Then, all of a sudden, Hawke stopped and stared at him. "They got my sister."
Anders's eyes widened. Hawke's face seemed to blanch even more as he said it, as if reality just sank in. His breath hitched. "I saw them dragging her in just now, Anders. I need to get her out of here before they can make a phylactery for her – that's the only chance she's got to get out of here unharmed." And then he repeated his former statement, face glowing feverishly: "I would do anything to keep her safe."
Anders wetted his lips. "So you want me to help her break out of here."
Hawke's jaw muscle twitched as he bridged the gap between them with two long strides, grasping Anders's arms once again. "Please, Anders! I know it's too much to ask, I know what would await you, what the consequences are but I can't... I can't..."
He floundered for a moment in which Anders tried to get over his shock to hear Hawke plead.
"I can't do this alone," Hawke admitted finally, sounding forlorn as well as desperately angry. Anders took a deep breath, shaking his head. "Of course I'll help you but we'll have to plan quickly. Her Harrowing may not take very long if yours was anything to go by."
Hawke's lips thinned. "What did you have planned for your next escape?"
Not if but what. Anders blinked but didn't hesitate. "The shutter for clothing. Leads right down into the basement and from there, a door leads outside. Why I don't know but it's perfect."
Hawke paced in front of him, looking more alive than Anders had ever seen.
"Might work," the mage murmured, "But we'll need a distraction. A big one." There was a dangerous glint in his eyes that made Anders wary. He fidgeted in his seat.
"Careful," he said, thinking that it was a truly sad day when he gave advice of caution to anyone, "Too much and you won't see light again. Ever."
Hawke's face darkened and Anders found himself subjected to a cutting gaze. He didn't flinch, staring right back, imploring. Hawke's jaw twitched.
"I would give anything to keep her safe, Anders," Hawke snarled, repeating himself as if he was still waiting for Anders to understand the significance of the statement.
Anders sighed in frustration. "Alright, I'll leave that part to you. I'm just saying that solitary confinement is a real possibility if you overdo it." That was one punishment he had yet to live through, thankfully. When Hawke just gave him another sharp look, he raised his hands in defeat. Instead he said: "The best moment to snatch her will be right in front of Great Hall. Plenty of room in there to make a ruckus and the escape way is just around the corner. We'll just have to make this quick."
"Just quick," Hawke repeated, stopping in his pacing and turning towards Anders. "There aren't usually any templars near the shutter, are there?"
Anders shook his head. "And if you make your distraction very... well, distracting, there are guaranteed to be none."
Hawke nodded. "I won't take any chances." And it sounded like a vow. Anders couldn't shake the uneasiness that crept over him.
"Alright," he said, shaking his head to get rid of the feeling. "I'll collect a few things to keep us going. Meet you there, Hawke."
The other nodded sharply and left without another word. Anders sighed.
"Andraste's tits... what have you gotten yourself into this time?"
-DEAR TO ME –
Hawke's hands wouldn't stop shaking. He balled them into fists, hiding them behind his back as he stood next to the entrance of the Great Hall. Anders stood right in front of him, keeping up their pretence of casual small talk. Dinner wasn't that long ago that two lingering mages would get more than the odd watchful look.
Hawke glanced inside the Hall for a moment. There were very few mages left inside and he was glad; making a distraction big enough to attract every templar in the vicinity wouldn't get easy when he had to make do with harmless lightshows. Anders eyes were wary when he meet them, but also determined. Hawke still felt uneasy with how much he had to trust the mage but it wasn't like he had a choice, wasn't it? If he wanted to get Bethany out he had to rely on Anders – in other words, he had to do the exact same thing he'd said he'd never do. Ironic.
He took a deep breath and looked down the corridor. He froze. There they were, two templars on either side of her. He met Anders's eyes and gave a small, imperceptible nod before he pushed himself away from the wall and entered the Great Hall.
He only hoped that he could prevent the templar long enough from smiting him.
One chance. Don't fuck this up.