Hinata struggled to breathe properly as she left the apartment building. She could feel tears threatening to spill over but she refused to let them while she wasn't alone. She looked back up at his window at the top of the building one last time. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she turned and headed for the train station.
Keeping herself together until she got back to Naruto and Sakura's apartment was one of the hardest things Hinata had ever had to do. Almost as hard as taking that step out of Sasuke's apartment. Almost.
Hinata closed the door to the apartment, her hand remaining on the latch for a few seconds before she rested her back against it. She put a hand to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut as the first tear rolled down her cheek. She choked back a sob.
How could it hurt so much?
It was unbearable. It would have hurt more if you had let it go any further. Her knees gave way underneath her as her back slid down the door. Unable to hold her tears back any longer, she broke down, her shoulders shaking almost uncontrollably as she sobbed, the pain in her heart growing and growing until it was a physical throbbing ache in her chest.
This is for the best, she told herself.
But that in no way meant that it didn't hurt like hell.
Thank God Naruto and Sakura were both at work. She didn't want them to see her like this. Yet at the same time, she wanted them to hold her, tell her everything would be okay. The empty, silent apartment only made her sobs seem louder, made her feel more alone. But they wouldn't understand. They had been together for years, and only had eyes for each other. They had never been forced apart like this. No, she and Sasuke hadn't been forced apart. This was her choice. It was better for both of them this way. So why did she feel like a piece of her heart had been ripped out?
It's only a man. You'll get over him.
No I won't.
She wiped at her eyes, but it didn't make any difference. If only she could stop crying. She jumped as her phone rang in her pocket, breaking the silence in the room. It seemed to jolt her back to reality. Taking a deep breath and clearing her throat in an effort to make it less obvious she had been crying, she fished it out of her pocket. She frowned as she didn't recognise the number.
"Hello?" She wiped at her eyes again, tears already running down her cheeks.
"Hello, is this Hinata Hyuuga?" the unfamiliar voice said on the other end of the line.
"Yes," she replied, sniffing. Who was this?
"This is Doctor Komatsu from Tokyo University Hospital, I'm afraid there's been an incident involving Sasuke Uchiha."
Hinata couldn't breathe, not from crying but now for an entirely different reason. An incident? What kind of incident? How? When? Was he okay? God, please let him be okay...
"Miss Hyuuga, are you still there?" The question jolted her out of her thoughts.
"Y-yes," she replied, fighting to hold back more tears. Oh God, what if he was...she couldn't even think it. She honestly didn't know how she would live knowing that he... if he was dead she would have been told by now, right? He couldn't be dead.
"He was involved in a road accident. Knocked off his bike. I'm afraid the injuries he sustained were very serious," the doctor continued.
No! Hinata felt sick. Her head spun. He couldn't be dead. The room was getting smaller and smaller, crashing down around her. Was this what it felt like to go into shock? Oh God he couldn't be dead. This had to be some kind of dream. She would wake up and she would be lying in bed with Sasuke, she never would have left and everything would be fine, because even though he didn't love her, she could at least pretend...
"He is in surgery right now, and we'd like you to come down to the hospital."
Surgery? Surgery meant that he was still alive, right? At least for now. For a moment she could breathe again. Of course he could pull through. He could survive anything. A man like Sasuke wouldn't die just because he wrecked on his bike. He was a fighter, in more ways than one. No, now she was getting her hopes too high. She wouldn't dare to hope like that until she saw he was okay with her own eyes.
"I'm on my way."
Hinata sat in the corridor on a chair next to the doors of the operating theatre Sasuke was in. Her dried tears had left streaks on her face as she stared at the doors, her eyes puffy. She was quite sure she looked terrible but she didn't want to go to the bathroom to wash her face in case something happened in the theatre. How long was this supposed to take? She had been waiting outside the room for almost an hour and she had no idea how long he had been here before the hospital called her. She hadn't even been able to see him through the small windows in the door because of the crowd of surgeons around him.
Taking a deep breath in an attempt to steady her still somewhat shaky breathing, she brought her feet up to the chair and rested her forehead on her knees. Her chest ached with anxiety. This was torture.
"Miss Hyuuga?" Hinata looked up sharply as she heard her name. There was a nurse leaning half out of the door of the operating theatre. Hinata's heart hammered in her chest and time seemed to slow down as she waited for the nurse to tell her the worst.
"If you'd like to come in now, Miss Hyuuga," she said, gesturing for Hinata to follow her as she went back into the room. Her heart in her throat, Hinata got up and gently pushed open the door, afraid of what she might see on the other side.
She heard it first, before anything else. The faint beep of a heart monitor. Did she dare to hope...?
Raising her gaze from the ground, she looked across the room. There he was, unconscious on a bed, the nurse fiddling with a machine at his side, the other surgeons gone. He still wore his biking leathers and boots, except the jacket had been cut away, presumably so they could operate on him without causing further trauma to his body, and now lay in pieces on the floor around the bed. She rushed across the room to his side, her heart doing flips. Reaching to touch him, she stopped as his condition fully sank in. The nurse started speaking.
"He was in a bad way when he got here. Broken collarbone, three broken ribs, six fractured ones, punctured lung, internal bleeding, head trauma and a few more minor injuries...but we've managed to stitch him back together." Hinata nodded absentmindedly as she looked at the various patches on his chest, wires trailing to machines and drips with needles. The nurse fixed a large dressing to Sasuke's right side, just under his ribcage before Hinata could see the damage. "He's on life support right now, just to be on the safe side with that lung." So that's what that tube down his throat was. "He should be breathing by himself in a few days with no problems." She then moved to another trolley to get some cotton wool balls coated in disinfectant before cleaning the dried trickles of blood from Sasuke's temple and lips.
Hinata's heart was lodged in her throat, tears threatening to spill over her eyes even when she thought she had none left. Her hand shaking, she reached to touch the side of his face, a sudden blip from the heart monitor making her jump as she touched him. For a split second she was worried, but the beeps returned to a steady rhythm and the nurse didn't seem fazed, writing notes on a clipboard. Maybe she had imagined it. She turned her attention back to the man lying unconscious in the bed.
Seeing him like this made her heart break. This wasn't her Sasuke. Sasuke was strong and fierce, independent and uncompromising, and yet here he was, unconscious and relying on a wheezing machine to breathe for him. She bit her lip as a tear escaped her eye, and she fought to keep the rest back, but it was damn near impossible as guilt washed over her.
All of this was her fault! If she hadn't left, he wouldn't have been on his bike, the car wouldn't have hit him and he wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed right now.
He wouldn't have nearly died.
"Physically, he has quite a history of injuries, broken bones and such, so he should be used to the healing process. Even so, we'll be keeping him unconscious for a couple of days to give him a head start," the nurse told her, distracting her from her thoughts. She nodded, taking her hand away from his brow and holding onto his hand with both of hers.
"Would you mind waiting outside while we take him to a private room? Someone will come and show you where he is when we're done." Hinata nodded, not trusting herself to speak without bursting into tears.
Watching as the nurse and a couple of other nurses prepared to move Sasuke and the various machines next to him, Hinata left the room and took a seat again. She didn't know how long she sat there, staring at the floor, letting the shock of what happened sink in, but suddenly she felt someone shake her shoulder slightly. Blinking, she looked to see a middle-aged, friendly-looking nurse smiling down at her.
"You are Miss Hyuuga, yes?" she asked, a slight English accent coming through in her Japanese. Hinata nodded, standing up at the same time. The nurse set off walking and Hinata followed, hearing her chatter on but not really listening.
"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing? You had better wash those tears off before your young man sees you have been crying. He would not want you upset now, would he? Do not worry he'll be just fine in a couple of weeks, nearly back to normal, I have seen people recover from injuries much worse than his, they really sound a lot worse than they are, because of how fast we got him here..."
Hinata knew the nurse was only trying to comfort her, but really, it wasn't helping in the slightest. Sasuke was lying in a hospital because of her. She would only let herself believe he would be fine until she could look into those dark eyes with her own and hear his voice again.
The nurse opened the door for her, letting her step in as another nurse completed his checks on the machines. "You can stay here until visiting hours are over, or as long as other priorities allow, there's a canteen downstairs and this button here is for emergencies, a nurse will come right away," the English nurse said, pointing to a large button on the wall next to the bed. Hinata nodded as the male nurse left the room and the English woman smiled again before closing the door behind her.
Hinata took a deep breath, walking to Sasuke's side. He hadn't moved a muscle, his handsome features completely expressionless. His leather pants were now folded up on a chair, along with the pieces of his jacket and his wallet and keys, his boots on the floor next to it. There was also a clear plastic bag containing what looked like what was left of his phone. She pulled up a chair next to the bed and he turned her attention back to Sasuke. They had pulled the bedding up to just under his navel, so as not to disturb the many patches and dressing on his chest. There were bandages around his right wrist and also wrapped around his shoulders, looking almost like a harness, and as if they would cross over in a figure of eight at his back. She assumed they were to help his collarbone. His normally healthy-looking, and if anything, slightly pale skin now held a sickly cast to it that made her think if she hadn't been able to hear his heartbeat on the monitor she would have begun to fear the worst. There was a light sheen of cold sweat on his brow, strands of his black hair plastered to it. She carefully brushed them out of the way with her fingers, his body unresponsive.
She fought back tears again. She felt terrible. Guilty and agonized.
Practically all her life she had shuffled along, expecting to be a disappointment to everyone, never really aspiring to anything. She didn't really live; she had just...existed...until she met Sasuke. Yes, she had friends, like Naruto and Sakura, who she had known nearly all her life, but they didn't make her feel like Sasuke did. He made her feel alive, like a person, like she was worth something.
And last night, when he had held her in his arms, she had never felt more complete. But she wasn't living in a dream world.
This was reality and it hurt.
So she had left, and this was the result. Did she have to be punished for everything? She had just wanted to feel loved for a little while, was that so wrong?
The first tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another. She wiped them away angrily.
"No!" she said aloud, firmly. Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down. She'd done more than enough crying for one day. She wasn't a child anymore. Crying wasn't going to solve anything. It wouldn't make her feel any less guilty and it certainly wouldn't help Sasuke get better.
Sniffing, she distracted herself with assessing the damage to Sasuke's clothes. She picked up a piece of the jacket first, which was on top of the pile. The leather of the right shoulder and arm were completely shredded, layers of the stuff torn away by asphalt. God only knows what it would have done to his skin had he not been wearing it. She shuddered at the thought and looked at the rest of the jacket, piecing it together in her head. It looked like it had been cut down the back in the middle, and then down each sleeve from the neck to wrist to allow it to be pulled from underneath him. She glanced at the dressing on the right side of Sasuke's stomach, just under his ribcage. Resisting the urge to peel a corner up and peek underneath it to see the damage, she looked at the rest of his body. It looked like the first signs of large bruises were forming on most of his side, peeking out from under the dressing there and spreading up his chest and on his shoulder.
Sighing, she put the jacket down and inspected the pants. They didn't seem nearly as bad. Yes, they were still worn away by the road in places like the sleeve of the jacket, but he could probably even wear them again. The boots, somehow, looked exactly the same as they always had, somehow completely unscathed. They must have been expensive, well-made, the kind of boots that outlive their owner. Her heart skipped a beat as the thought triggered another and sent her back into self-loathing. The boots could have easily outlived two owners had Sasuke died today. She sat down next to him and took his hand in both of hers, resting her head on the bed, refusing to cry again.
She would never have forgiven herself had he died. Just the thought of it was enough to bring her to her knees. From what the nurses had said, it sounded like he had only just made it. Had he got here just a minute later... She couldn't even think about it without wanting to burst into tears. Had the hospital not called her and he had died...would she ever have found out? Would she have lived the rest of her life thinking he hadn't even cared about her? But he did care, she realised. The nurses had told her where he had been brought from and it was a road on the way to Naruto and Sakura's apartment.
He'd come after her, even though she had told him not to.
She couldn't breathe for a second as her heart lodged itself in her throat and the reality of the statement sunk in. There was no way she could leave him again. If there was a chance he felt even a fraction for her of what she felt for him...she would stay with him through anything, no matter what happened.
Suddenly a thought popped up in her head from nowhere. How had the hospital even known to call her? Surely there was someone else, of all the people he knew? She turned around to confirm what she thought. Sure enough, his phone was smashed nearly beyond recognition, so how did they get her phone number? Standing, she crossed the room to the chair with his belongings. She frowned. If his phone was smashed, where had her number come from? He clearly hadn't been conscious to tell them. The only other things there were his keys and wallet. Maybe there was an address section in his wallet? She picked it up and returned to her seat next to the bed, hoping she'd find the answer in it. She opened it and froze, shocked at what she saw there.
Inside the wallet, in the little plastic window she expected to be empty, there was a photograph. A photograph of a woman. A photograph of her. Her fingers trembling, she pulled the photograph out of the pocket to make sure she wasn't imagining things. She wasn't. It was folded in half, a small piece of paper with ripped edges sandwiched between the two halves. She looked at the paper first, which answered the question of how the hospital had known to call her, as it had her name and phone number written on it. She remembered writing the number down as part of a larger note, but it was Sasuke's hand that had written her name beneath it. When she had first moved in with him, she had written a note to him and stuck it to the fridge, explaining she would be out job-hunting for the day and had forgotten to give him her number in case he needed her for some reason. Never in her wildest dreams did she think he would have kept it, at least in part. She unfolded the photograph next. It had been folded so that only she could be seen through the plastic window, but when flattened out the photo had Sasuke in it too. It had been taken at New Year's, she knew from what they were wearing, but she hadn't seen the photo before. It was a spontaneous snapshot, so she hadn't known it had been taken either. She was laughing, and Sasuke was looking at her. Suddenly she knew what Sakura had meant that night when she had said that she thought Sasuke was in love with her, just by looking at his eyes.
This time Hinata couldn't stop the tears that ran down her cheeks. Her heart in her throat, her shoulders shaking, she looked up at Sasuke. Just how long had this photo been in his wallet? Had he loved her all this time? Why hadn't he said anything? Had she known, she would have never even moved out in the first place. Even if he didn't love her, this had to mean something, right?
"Sasuke, I'm so sorry," she sobbed. She rested her head on the mattress in front of her, gripping his hand, hoping that somehow, when he woke up, he would be able to forgive her.
Sasuke opened his eyes, blinking blearily. The room was out of focus, but slowly came into view as the seconds passed. As they ticked by, he realised something else.
He couldn't breathe.
There was something choking him, lodged in his throat. Sitting bolt upright, ignoring the pain in his chest and the feeling of several things being ripped from his skin, he clawed at the tube until it finally came out of his throat. Coughing, he took deep mouthfuls of air, even though it sent sharp stabs of pain through his right side, as he tried to get his breath back. Eventually, when it felt like he was breathing normally, he noticed the pain in his body.
There wasn't an inch of him that wasn't aching like he'd just been trampled on by a herd of elephants. His right side in particular was throbbing intensely. Putting a hand to it, he felt material instead of skin, accompanied by another sharp twinge of pain. He looked around the unfamiliar room, a hand on his forehead, feeling nauseous. What the hell had he done now?
Suddenly a woman opened the door and froze in place, staring at him. Their gazes met for a good few seconds before she came to her senses and trotted towards him, pushing a button on the wall before attempting to shine a light in his eyes. He caught her wrists before she could.
"Who the hell are you?" he demanded, his throat feeling incredibly dry and painful. She stared at him with wide eyes, but before she could speak, a man strode confidently into the room.
"Now, Mr. Uchiha, please release Nurse Nato, she's only doing her job," he said, already at the side of the bed and looking at a chart.
Nurse? Of course, the uniform. He let go of the woman's wrists and looked around the room quickly, this time noticing several monitors, one of which was flat lining. So that's what that damn beeping had been. Before he could do anything else, the female nurse turned his face towards her and shone that torch in his eyes while the man carried on speaking.
"...With what we gave him...should be unconscious for a least another day...must have very very high metabolism or something...maybe they didn't give him the right dose..." he muttered to himself. He flipped the chart shut and looked up to face Sasuke. "You may be slightly concussed, Mr. Uchiha. You're in Tokyo University Hospital. I'm Doctor Yamashita." Sasuke put a hand to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut as the nurse left him, satisfied with blinding him to check on a machine next to him.
"What happened?" he asked, trying to remember. What was his name again?
"You were involved in a road accident yesterday..." Sasuke stopped listening as he started to panic. What year was it? He couldn't even remember what he did for a living. Fuck. Shit. There were lots of women, right? And he was feeling pretty paranoid about something, but he couldn't remember what.
He was distracted when the door opened once again. His heart stopped as the plastic cup of water the woman was holding slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor. She ran to his side.
Suddenly he remembered everything. The panic of her leaving, the car's screeching brakes, the indescribable pain...but none of it mattered now. She was here, she'd come back to him and she tasted incredible, her lips so soft against his own as he pulled her closer.
The doctor cleared his throat. Loudly. He couldn't help but feel disappointed when Hinata's lips left his as she turned her head to look at the doctor. A blush coloured her cheeks as she looked back at Sasuke. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy he's awake," she said quietly, embarrassed.
"That's quite understandable, Miss, but let's be getting on, shall we?" he said, tapping his clipboard. He looked at Sasuke. "Do you feel drowsy at all?" Surprisingly, Sasuke found that he wasn't. Well, maybe he was a little, but he didn't feel like he was going to fall unconscious again. He shook his head.
"How long have I been here?" he asked, aware of how time moved differently in hospitals.
"About one and a half day," the doctor said. "Miss Hyuuga here has hardly left your side," he continued, gesturing at her. She blushed even more. "Well, I'm sure you have a lot of questions so I'll give you a quick check over and then run you down on what happened."
Hinata watched from the other side of the room as the doctor did his checks and explained to Sasuke what injuries he had sustained. When he was done he went on to a list of things Sasuke should and shouldn't do while he was recovering. A lot of it was just common sense. They would be keeping Sasuke in the hospital for at least one week before letting him out. It would be another one to two weeks before he was starting to feel back to normal. Bed rest for the next few days before he was allowed to move about, and even then nothing too strenuous. Absolutely no exercise or physical exertion in any form so he wouldn't risk damaging his lung or collarbone while they were healing. No swimming for the foreseeable future. Eat healthily, etcetera etcetera... Everything sounded pretty reasonable, except she knew that being cooped up in a hospital room not being able to move about or exercise would drive him insane. By this point the nurse had left and it looked like the doctor was nearly finished too.
Even so, it felt like an eternity before he left. When the door finally closed behind him, she rushed to Sasuke's side. Immediately he caught her arm and pulled her closer, capturing her lips with his own. His touch made her feel so safe and warm, his left hand on her cheek, the other still holding her arm. She felt tears starting to well up behind her closed eyes. Only hours ago she had thought she might never feel his touch again, feel his lips... She broke away to choke back a sob, turning away from him.
"What's wrong?" he said, turning her face back round to look at her. She kept her eyes away from his gaze before she answered.
"I thought I had lost you," she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. Sasuke wiped it away with his thumb. Even crying, she looked so beautiful. She wasn't making any sense. If she didn't want to lose him, why had she left in the first place?
"Why did you leave?" More importantly, why had he followed her? Not wanting to think about it, he waited for her to answer. She looked up into his eyes this time for a second before looking away again.
"Because I'm in love with you," she replied simply, even quieter than before. "And I didn't want to hurt anymore." Sasuke frowned. Now she was making even less sense. He thought back to when he was reading her letter, which seemed like an eternity ago, even though it was less than a day.
"I need some time to fall out of love with you..."
"What do you mean?" She looked up at him, her eyes watery. She didn't speak at first, as if she was trying to decide what to say.
"It hurt too much to stay with you, to be with someone who didn't love me back." Sasuke's chest felt tight. What did he say to that? He couldn't deny it, but that wasn't her fault. Thinking about it, she was probably the closest he'd ever been to...but it wasn't love. Love didn't exist in his world. And someone like Hinata didn't belong in it. He should just tell her to leave, as she clearly hadn't had a problem with it earlier.
"I've never loved anyone, Hinata," he said. "I don't think I can."
"That's not true. You loved your family," she replied, holding his hand with her own. The memory of them stabbed at his chest. "Otherwise you wouldn't keep that photograph of them."
Sasuke looked away from her and withdrew his hand from hers. His gaze became distant and cold and Hinata immediately regretted bringing up his family. But she had to, to make him see that he didn't have to be alone anymore, if he didn't want to be.
"You keep yourself too alone, Sasuke," she continued, putting her hand to his cheek and turning his dead to look at him. Still he didn't look at her. "Maybe, if you could just let someone in, just one person, I know you could get over your past. You could love again."
"And who would you have that person be? You?" He gave a hollow, sarcastic laugh. "We are too different and you could never understand." Hinata nodded. Just when she thought she might reach him, he was taking steps backwards, getting colder and more defensive with each second.
"You're right, I probably wouldn't understand. But just because my brother didn't kill my family that doesn't mean I haven't felt loss. There are people who've had worse lives than me, but I haven't had the best and I'm not naive. Just because you've closed yourself off to everything but lust and anger it doesn't mean you can't feel anything else. And if it were true then I don't think you would have come after me."
"Why do you want to understand? What if I want to be alone?" It would be better that way. People didn't belong near him, they just got hurt. After his family had died he'd become cold, built up walls and defences so no one could ever get close to him again.
"Because sometimes I see glimpses of the man you could be...of what we could have...I don't want to go back to being without you, Sasuke. I left because I was scared, but when I thought you might die...Sasuke, I couldn't face living an eternity without you."
Hinata waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn't. He just kept staring at the blanket on the bed. His eyes looked so full of hate, of turmoil.
"Sasuke, if you want me to go, I'll leave and you'll never hear from me again, but if you tell me to stay..."
Still he didn't look at her. Hinata's heart was slowly filling with grief as she realised he wasn't going to tell her to stay. He'd nearly died because of her and now he never wanted to see her again. She could hear her heartbeat in her head. He's not going to say it... All she wanted to do was burst into tears but if this was the last time she would see him, she didn't want his last memory of her to be a crying, weak little girl. She stood up slowly, so as not to fall down to the floor and break down crying.
"Okay," she whispered, her heart breaking. This is your own fault anyway. She turned around, a hand to her mouth as she choked back a sob. She took a step away, away from the man she would give anything for, and it was even harder than last time.
I want to die.
"Don't go."
Hinata froze. Had she imagined it? She turned her head to look at him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down towards him. Their lips met and Hinata's heart soared. She couldn't hold back the tears that ran down her face now, but they were from an entirely different emotion as he kissed her hungrily. That he had admitted that he may have feelings for her, just by those two words...she knew how difficult it must have been for him and it made her want to stay with him even more.
Sasuke couldn't think straight. There were too many thoughts in his head and Hinata's lips were too sweet. He didn't know if he loved her but he damn sure didn't want her to leave. He should have let her go, but he couldn't. You'll only end up hurting her... It was selfish of him but he wanted her and even though his brain was screaming for her to leave he couldn't make himself say it. He didn't want to go back to being without her. The last two weeks when she hadn't been there had been torture. He'd ignored it, tried to carry on as he had before he met her but now it was painfully obvious. Some foreign part of him needed her and that part of him wouldn't be denied. But there was still so much she didn't know about him... This will destroy you both...
"I don't want these emotions," he breathed, their faces still only millimetres apart. "They make everything so much more difficult."
"I know," she breathed back, her eyes closed. "But they make life worth living." How could she make it sound so simple? So unproblematic?
"I can't promise this will work."
"Then promise we can at least try."
Hinata knew he was trying to get her to leave, trying to make it so that it was her decision to leave, but it wasn't going to work. She wasn't going anywhere, not this time. He kissed her again, and for a moment they were the only two people in existence.
Until the door opened suddenly.
Hinata broke away quickly, embarrassed. However embarrassment was quickly replaced with confusion as she saw who had entered the room.
They didn't look like they belonged in a hospital. Rather, they looked like they should be putting people in hospitals. Both men were dressed in immaculate, expensive-looking black suits, the kind Sasuke would wear, both wearing black shirts.
However what made them look so intimidating wasn't their attire. It was their demeanour. Both of them gave off a vibe of 'look-at-me-the-wrong-way-and-I-will-torture-you-slowly'. The shorter one, who was still pretty tall, had white, almost with a blue tint hair, and wore a maniacal grin, revealing sharp, pointed teeth. Once Hinata had gotten over the initial stab of shock and fear the teeth had caused in her, she shuddered, trying not to think about the dental procedures he must have had done to achieve the effect.
The other man, who was much, much taller and broader had orange hair almost as spiky as Naruto's, but it was longer and pushed back from his face. His lips were set in a grim line, in stark contrast his practically psychotic looking companion. If he wasn't so scary Hinata might have thought him attractive, but there was something about him she found unnerving.
"Juugo. Suigetsu. What are you doing here?" Sasuke snapped, pulling Hinata back into reality. She looked back at him, surprised at the sudden animosity in his voice. "You're supposed to-"
"Call first, boss, I know," said the man with pointed teeth, Sugeitsu, waving his hand dismissively and stepping forward. "We tried but you didn't answer."
"Does it look like I've been able to answer? Hinata did they call my phone?"
"It got smashed in the crash," said Hinata quickly, picking up the bag with the pieces Sasuke's phone in it and showing it to the three men. For some reason the atmosphere was suddenly very tense.
"Well there you have it," said Juugo. "We couldn't call first. Sort of an emergency."
"How did you know I was here?" asked Sasuke, sounding sterner and more commanding rather than angry now.
"You know...friend of a friend and all that," Suigetsu said.
There was silence for a few moments, and Hinata decided that it was her cue to leave.
"Could you give us a minute, Hinata?" asked Sasuke, not taking his eyes off the two men. The way he said it hadn't really sounded like a question, more like a command.
"Of course," she said quickly, heading for the door. Juugo, who was still standing by it, opened it for her, but as he was closing it, she heard Sasuke speak again.
"You're sure no one was following-" He was cut off as the door shut completely. She glanced back into the room through the window to see Suigetsu grin devilishly at her as he closed the blinds, shutting her out completely.
Hinata felt anxiety eating at her stomach, a million questions flying around her head. Would Sasuke be okay with them? They certainly didn't look at all friendly. But then, they had called him 'boss'. So that meant that Sasuke was in charge, right? But what was he in charge of? Who on earth were they? She suddenly recalled hearing Sasuke as the door closed. Being followed? What on earth were they talking about?
The whole thing was very curious, but ultimately, she decided, Sasuke would tell her who they were when he was ready to. At least she hoped he would. He wasn't exactly talkative, nor did he divulge secrets unless forced to.
Suddenly the door opened next to her and the two men left, the one with pointy teeth waving sinisterly at her before he turned and followed the tall one. She went back into the room to see Sasuke with a troubled look on his face, his brow furrowed.
"Everything okay?" she asked, going back to the chair at his side.
"Fine," he replied, but she didn't really believe him. She was about to speak again when the door opened yet again and the English nurse from earlier on came in.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave now, Miss, visiting hours are just about to end, and I think that's quite enough excitement for you, Sir, you've only just woken up."
Hinata was barely given chance to say goodbye to Sasuke before the nurse had started ushering her out of the door. She kissed him quickly on the lips, wishing she didn't have to leave him even for a second.
"I'll come back tomorrow," Hinata said quickly. Sasuke watched wistfully as the nurse almost literally pushed her out of the door and closed it, leaving Sasuke alone.
"Bye," he said to the empty, silent room. He sighed exasperatedly, already itching to be up and about. He hated hospital rooms, they always managed to make him feel uncomfortable, bored and trapped.
He closed his eyes, feeling pretty tired even though he'd probably only been awake for half and hour. Maybe it was a good thing. Perhaps if he stayed unconscious for most of the week, he wouldn't go as insane as he'd first thought.
Hinata ran across the train platform, squeezing onto the train at the last second. She took a few deep gulps of air in order to get her breath back and checked the time. 17:37. She'd managed to get the night off work by doing a daytime shift instead, and was heading to the hospital to meet Sasuke. The doctors had said he could go home today, even though he had only been in the hospital for five days. He was recovering remarkably well, but even so, she had insisted on her being there when he got home to make sure he didn't have to lift a finger to do anything. She knew if she wasn't, he'd just carry on doing things like he hadn't been knocked off his bike and could risk undoing everything his body had been working for over the last five days. She had agreed to move back in with him while he was recovering, and all her things were already there, back in her old room. However, when she had managed to be at the hospital and he had been awake, they had talked about what they were going to do now. They had agreed to take things slow, as both of them were new at this. Hinata had never had a boyfriend and Sasuke's relationships had usually taken place between the bed sheets. She really ought to get in shape, she thought to herself, her heart still beating rapidly.
Getting off at the hospital, she started walking up to Sasuke's room without even thinking about it, and before she knew it, she was turning the handle to his door. She smiled widely as she saw him, and held up the gym bag she was carrying.
"I thought you'd never get here," he said, sitting up as he saw her. She crossed the room and put the bag on the bed before starting to pull out its contents. He got out of bed, perhaps a little slower than he usually might, she noted, and put on the jeans she had passed to him. Blushing at the sight slightly, she rummaged in the bag again. He put his shoes on next, before she handed him a shirt next, which he put on carefully.
If he was in pain, however, he didn't show it as he put the shirt on and started to button it up. Hinata crossed the room and put her hands on his chest.
"Let me," she said, picking up where he stopped as his hands fell to his sides, useless.
Sasuke's chest felt tight as he watched her button up his shirt for him. So this was it. It was actually happening. Somehow the small gesture of doing up his shirt buttons for him confirmed it. Sasuke Uchiha in a relationship. How had he let it get this far? He'd spent years with all those walls and defences, locked his feelings away, and now none of them mattered. He still couldn't believe she was still here, that this wasn't just some strange dream he was having. But it had been a week, and she'd gone and come back, not out of obligation like when she had lived with him, but because she wanted to. She wanted to be with him. It was a strange feeling.
"I missed you," she said, looking up at him and taking his hands in her own. She hadn't seen him in two days, the hours she had off work and the visiting times clashing. He didn't reply, only brought her left hand up to his lips and kissed it. He let her other hand go to pick up his woollen overcoat from the bed. It didn't bother her that he didn't say it back; she had grown used to the fact that he never said how he felt a long time ago.
"Let's go," he said, leading her towards the door.
Sasuke struggled to keep his hands off her on the train back to the apartment. He'd nearly gone insane in the hospital and now that he was finally out of that place there was only one thing he wanted to do. However, they'd agreed to take things slow and for some reason, he really didn't want to fuck whatever this was up.
Neither of them spoke, they didn't feel the need to, and there was a comfortable silence between them. This meant that there was nothing to distract him from what he wanted to do to her, against the doctor's orders of no 'exercise'. However, he was grateful for the silence. It was one of the things that he enjoyed about Hinata. She didn't try to make conversation because she thought the silence was awkward; if she was anyone else he was sure he was sure she would be making annoying small talk by now. But Hinata wasn't like that. Instead if there was nothing to say she wouldn't say it, there was no point in talking about nothing and making things awkward. Besides, he didn't think either of them were that talkative at the best of times, so why start now?
They got off the train and walked the short distance to his apartment block. Even though it had only been a short journey, Sasuke was already starting to feel the effects. God he was so tired. They stepped into the elevator and Hinata's hand brushed his as she took the keys off him. Suddenly he didn't feel so exhausted. The elevator seemed to be moving slower than usual, or maybe it was just because he was restraining himself from kissing Hinata. He knew if that happened, it would inevitably lead to other things.
The elevator doors opened and honestly, Sasuke had never felt so relieved to see his apartment. He hated hospitals, everyone telling him what to do and where to go. Here, he made the rules. Hinata put his bag on the floor next to the sofa and went into the kitchen.
"Do you want a drink?" she asked, moving about as if she had never left the place. He took off his coat and put it on the stand, with only a tiny twinge of pain in his collarbone. He followed her into the kitchen.
"Only if it's alcoholic," he said, opening the fridge. Hinata squeaked and closed it before he could reach inside.
"No, you know what the doctor said!" she exclaimed.
"I don't care what the doctor said."
Suddenly Sasuke found his mouth very dry. By jumping in and closing the door Hinata had sandwiched herself between him and the fridge. She was looking up at him with those big, pearly eyes, a light blush on her cheeks and those plump, rosy lips were just begging for him to taste them. She was even more tempting than before. He took a step closer to her so their bodies were nearly touching and raised a hand to her cheek. Her gaze flickered away from his and she ended up looking down and to the side, those long lashes fluttering slightly.
"You should get some rest," she whispered, still not looking at him. She turned her head even more, exposing that long, elegant neck. Unable to resist her for another second, he turned her head back to face him and dipped his head down to kiss her.
Hinata's head spun as he kissed her. Every time was like the first all that time ago. A jolt of electricity ran down her spine and she felt dizzy as his presence invaded her senses. Her body burned for him and she forgot about everything else in the world. Well, almost everything.
"I thought we were going to take things slow," Hinata breathed reluctantly as Sasuke started trail kisses over her neck. He didn't stop. "And the doctor said-"
"-It's only a kiss," he said, his breath hot on her skin. Hinata felt dizzy as he kissed her lips again. Her fingers knotted in his hair and his hands settled on her waist as his tongue brushed against her bottom lip. She opened her mouth and tilted her head further back so he could kiss her better, and he definitely did not disappoint.
Hinata didn't know how it happened. One minute they were kissing and the next most of her clothes were on the floor, she was fumbling with his shirt buttons and he was undoing his belt. She knew she should tell him to stop, that he needed to rest and they should take things slow. This was absolutely the last thing they should be doing. But with his hands on her skin like this, she couldn't think straight.
She gasped and a thrill went through her body as he picked her up, hitched her legs up around his hips and put her up on the kitchen worktop. Even in this state, he was still so strong, so commanding and fierce. She shuddered as he started to kiss her neck, something she was quickly learning was one of her favourite things. She could practically feel the raw passion pouring out of him as he left angry red marks on her skin.
Sasuke growled at the taste of Hinata in his arms. He couldn't remember anyone tasting this sweet, feeling this good as he explored her mouth with his tongue. God, how he needed to be inside her right now. Not wanting to wait even a second more, he slid the underwear she was wearing down those smooth, shapely legs and unzipped his jeans.
Every fibre of Sasuke's being shouted in relief at being inside her again. God, she was still so tight. It had been torture this last week, being so close and not even being able to even touch her. He was tired, aching all over and this probably wouldn't help his recovery in any way, but now he was inside her he just didn't care. She was like a drug. He needed her and had to have her at any cost.
Hinata cried out as Sasuke slid inside her, at the look of pure bliss in his usually expressionless eyes as he took her. She felt lightheaded as she buried her fingers in Sasuke's hair and he rested his forehead on her shoulders, his ragged breaths scorching her skin as he moved in and out of her. Her heart pounded in her chest as she closed her eyes and bit her lip. There was almost a sense of...urgency about the way he moved, setting her body on fire. The way he held her, the way he kissed her and made love to her made her feel so alive, so needed and beautiful, like he was hungry for her and her alone.
Sasuke had never felt like this with any other woman. She moaned, her breaths short and sharp. How could he want anyone else when he had her? She cried out, her nails digging into his biceps. How could anyone else even begin to compare? His chest tight, he leaned forward to kiss her forcefully on the lips, needing to taste her again.
Hinata cupped his face in her hands as he kissed her, loving the feel of his strong jaw moving against her fingers. She moved to kiss his neck and jaw line, while they were at the same height. Her heart swelled with triumph as he tilted his head back and sighed, overjoyed that even though she still didn't really know what she was doing, she was doing it right. He had a somewhat...edible jaw line, so defined and strong and masculine. She could kiss it all day. All week.
"I love you," she murmured, his skin against her lips. She could kiss him for all time.
Suddenly she noticed a shift in his movements. She broke away and cried out his name as he hit a spot inside her that made her whimper in pleasure. No longer as hurried, he held her in his arms tenderly, his thrusts lush and full.
Sasuke's heart clenched as she whispered those three words he never thought he'd have said to him again. She'd said it at the hospital when he'd woken up, but honestly, he thought it had been because he'd nearly died and she was in shock. Thought once she'd got a hold of herself she'd change her mind. Who could ever love him?
He never thought she'd meant them.
But right then, he knew she did.
She cried out his name once more and threw her head back in ecstasy. In that moment, right there, he knew that he was lost to her completely. He would do anything for this woman, even give his own life if he had to. Hell, he had nearly done that already.
It felt like time had stopped as he looked at her and their eyes met. God, she was so beautiful.
"I love you."
Just say it. It's easy. It's just words.
He looked away, unable to cope with the raw emotion in her eyes. It didn't feel right, that there was so much love directed at him. It was unnerving.
I can't.
Did he love her? No, he thought quickly. He didn't know what it was he felt for her. There was no denying the physical attraction, the hollow feeling in his chest when she wasn't with him, the way he had felt when she had left and he'd nearly died trying to get her back...but was it love? He couldn't even remember what it felt like to care for someone, to be friends with someone, let alone love someone. Suigetsu and Juugo were the closest thing he had to 'friends' and that was pushing it a bit.
"Sasuke, what's wrong?" Hinata asked, noticing he'd stopped moving, a look of worry on her face. "Are you in pain? We can stop, I-"
Sasuke cut her off by pressing his lips to hers. Pushing all his thoughts from his head, he took the rest of Hinata's weight in his arms and carried her through to his bedroom. He didn't want to think about what he did and didn't feel for her right now, not when she was naked in his arms and sighing in pleasure.
Right now there were much more important things that demanded his attention.
Hinata woke with a smile on her face. She hadn't felt this relaxed since...well, the last time she woke up with Sasuke. But this time that feeling didn't fade. She didn't have to leave him this time. Oh, what she wouldn't give just to stay here all day with him. She kept her eyes closed for a few moments, just enjoying the fact that the bedding smelt of Sasuke. She opened her eyes, expecting to see him. She didn't. Sitting up, her eyes darted around the room. Oh God, what if this time he had left her? Don't be ridiculous, she told herself. It wasn't like he could run away from his own apartment. But already that happy feeling she had woken up with was disappearing. He changed his mind, he doesn't want you and he didn't want to be here when you woke up. She shook her head. He was probably just in the kitchen or something. Yes, that must be it. But she couldn't shake that feeling of fear that she was alone in the apartment.
He must still be here. But for some reason she couldn't make herself move from the bed to go and find out if he really had left. God, was this how he had felt when she had left? She felt terrible.
She silently vowed that if he was still here, she would never leave him again, no matter what, unless he told her to leave. She was in love with him after all. Before she had mustered the courage to go and find him, he appeared, wearing some black jeans, in the doorway of the bathroom facing the end of the bed. Relief flooded through her body. She reached behind her, grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, now angry at him for scaring her like that.
"I thought you had left me this time!" she said, her heart pounding. Whatever anger she had momentarily felt melted away at the surprised look on his face. He looked up at her and some other emotion fleeted across his features as his eyes flickered to her side before they returned to normal. She was about to look behind her to see what he had been looking at when he spoke suddenly.
"Not likely," he replied, throwing the pillow back across the room to land back where it came from. Hinata's heart swelled at his words. She got out of bed, clutching the sheets around her and walked towards him. She looked at his side, and was about to put her hand on the dressing there when she thought better of it.
"How are you feeling today?" she asked, eyes travelling to the bandages around his shoulders.
"Fine," he replied, tilting her chin up to look at him. Hinata stood up on her tip toes to kiss him, his lips captivating her gaze. He held her against him and kissed her, before she broke away and took a couple of steps backwards.
"I'm going to have a shower," she sighed happily. She walked into the en-suite bathroom and closed the door, before remembering she didn't know where the towels were. She'd never been in here before, despite the amount of time she'd lived here. She stuck her head around the door.
"Where are your towels in here?"
"Cupboard, top shelf," he replied, now sitting on the bed. Nodding, she retreated back into the bathroom. She reached up into the cupboard, the shelf a fraction to high for her. Not feeling any towels in there, she stood on her tiptoes, hoping they were just slightly further back on the shelf. Nothing. She went back to the door.
"Sasuke, I can't find any..." She trailed off as she saw him and a stab of fear went through her. She couldn't move. He was still sat on the bed. But he was holding a gun. A gun. Sasuke, her lover, was holding a gun. Why the hell was he holding a gun? Oh God. He was a serial killer. And she was next. She knew he was too perfect to be true. No wonder she'd never seen any of the women she had slept with getting breakfast in the morning. He'd killed them, right? That had to be the answer.
He stood up and took a step towards her. Suddenly able to move, she moved away from him until her back hit the wall.
"Hinata, I can explain," he said, still holding the gun. He's holding a gun.
And then Hinata did something she hadn't done since she was a child.
She fainted.
Sasuke woke the next morning to see the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Hinata. She lay on her side, the sheets bunched around her thighs, dark hair fanned out around her. The sun was just about to come up, its glow illuminating her skin and while her breaths fell evenly as she slept.
It felt strange, waking up with someone. It made his chest ache. For all the times he'd had a woman in his bed, he'd made sure they were gone before he fell asleep.
He never thought he'd trust someone enough to fall unconscious willingly around them, to be that defenceless. Yet with Hinata, he did. He had.
He ran his hand down her side, marvelling in the soft texture of her skin and the luscious curves of her body so different from the hard lines of his own. He knew he should be tired and sore, and well, let's face it, he was, unbelievably so, but honestly, all he wanted to do was make love to her again. His chest felt tight as he thought of what they had done when they had got back to the apartment. Sure, he had slept with others, others more skilled, but those times couldn't even compare with the times with Hinata. What he felt when he was with Hinata was far more than just scratching a biological itch.
Tenderness for her overwhelmed him as he reached to gently brush hair from her cheek. How could even a whisper of a touch from her set his entire being on fire? A smile and he was undone. What he wouldn't do for just a smile from her…All this time he had been telling himself he didn't care for her, but it was in that moment he realized he that he did care for her. Deeply. Too deeply. His heart clenched. The thought terrified him. The amount of power she unknowingly held over him was unbearable.
He rolled onto his back and cursed himself. He didn't want to care for her like this. Caring for someone made people unbelievably stupid. Caring for someone made you dead. Made them dead. He'd seen it firsthand. Everything he cared for was ripped away from him and he didn't want to lose her. Couldn't lose her. But he was Sasuke Uchiha. Someone like Hinata did not belong by his side. No one did. He shuddered as he thought of her touch, her laugh. How could such simple things have such a profound effect on him? He didn't feel so lost or broken when he held her, when he took her… He somehow found himself wondering what kind of future they would have if he stayed with her, if he was anyone other than himself.
He got out of bed, pulled on some jeans and stalked to the on-suite bathroom, splashing cold water on his face when he got to the sink in an attempt to clear his head. He looked up at his reflection in the mirror, hands braced on either side of the sink.
"Pull yourself together, goddammit," he growled at his reflection. There was no point thinking about the future when he had no idea if they even had one. He wanted one, there was no denying it, but there were still things she didn't know about him.
Things he didn't think she'd like.
But he had to tell her at some point, right? She deserved to know what she was getting into with him, what kind of life he led. Yeah, she knew about the fight club, but how would she deal with everything else?
Fear gripped his heart for the first time in years at the possibility of her leaving him again. He'd already nearly died the first time, trying to get her back, and he honestly wasn't sure he'd survive a second. He punched the tiles on the wall in anger, resting his forearms and head on them as he exhaled deeply in an attempt to calm down. He didn't want to feel like this. Emotions made everything so much more complicated than they needed to be. But somehow, they had crept up on him without him noticing.
How could she have come to mean so much to him so quickly? He still couldn't understand it. But he couldn't change it now. It was like some foreign part of him needed her more than air itself.
If he wanted her to stay with him, he shouldn't keep any more secrets from her. But when would he tell her? Now? And risk losing her? But if he kept things like this from her she would find out eventually by herself and then it would be even worse. Before, when she was just a lodger in his apartment, she had respected his privacy, and he had respected hers, but now... Now that they were...whatever it was they were doing, it would only be a matter of time before she started asking questions, and there were only so many lies he could tell.
He sighed and rolled so his back was leaning against the cold tiles.
So that was it. He would tell her.
The only question left was when. He exhaled deeply. He didn't want to think about this now. Right now, he just wanted to go back to bed, hold her against him and forget everything for the next few days. Pushing all his thoughts from his head, he took a few deep, calming breaths and went back into the bedroom. Only to have something very red and squishy hit him. He caught it before it hit the ground. He cast a puzzled look at the pillow he was holding before looking up at Hinata. She was sat up in his bed now, clutching the sheets to her chest. His blood ran cold. She only had to turn around and see what was under his pillow, which he was now holding, and he would have to explain everything to her a lot sooner than he thought. How the fuck had he forgotten it was there? Don't react. Don't react. He somehow kept himself from leaping across the room to stop her seeing as his heart pounded in his chest.
"You! I thought you had left me this time!" she said accusingly, laughing. Sasuke threw the pillow back across the room, landing where it had started. He breathed a sigh of relief. At least for now. He'd have to move it, now she would be in his bed more often. Hinata stood up, still gripping the sheets around her and walked over to him. She sobered.
"How do you feel this morning?" she asked, a worried expression on her face as her fingers hovered over the newer, smaller dressing on his side.
"Fine," he said, tilting her chin up so he could look at her. In reality he was aching all over and would like nothing more than to pass out, but he wasn't one to let people know he was in pain. It was his own fault anyway. He was starting to feel like he was on the mend but then he'd gone against the doctor's advice of no "exercise" almost as soon as he was out of the hosptial. She smiled and stood on her tip-toes so she could kiss him. He gathered her up into his arms as her scent invaded his senses but all too soon she was pulling away.
"I'm going to have a shower," she said, going into the bathroom. Sasuke waited until she had closed the door before sitting on the bed and reaching under the pillow. His hand met cold metal and he froze as he heard the bathroom door open again. Hinata popped her head around the door.
"Where are your towels in here?" Sasuke's heart hammered in his chest. That had been too close for comfort. Another second and she would have...
"Cupboard, top shelf," he replied, trying to sound normal. She disappeared back into the bathroom. He waited a few more seconds before pulling the object out from under the pillow. He could move it into the drawer of his bedside cabinet, he didn't think she would go rummaging through it, but it was nowhere near as easy to reach in an emergency.
He tested the weight of it in his hand. It was quite heavy, but he had always thought it was the perfect weight.
It fit in his palm perfectly. Comfortable. Reassuring.
Fully loaded.
He flicked the safety off and then back on as he considered where to keep it. The drawer was probably the best place until he thought of an alternative.
"Sasuke, I can't find any..." Sasuke looked up sharply as Hinata's voice trailed off, her eyes wide.
Fuck.
It was too late to hide the gun.
She'd already seen it.
"Hinata, I can explain," he said, standing and taking a step towards her. Her terrified eyes flickered to the gun in his hand and then back to his face. Maybe he should have put the gun down. He was just about to when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fainted.
It looked like he was going to have to explain everything to her a lot sooner than he thought.
Sasuke sat at the end of the bed, watching Hinata, waiting for her to wake up. He'd caught her before she'd hit the ground, somehow, and put her back on the bed.
Seconds ticked by and he struggled to think of what he would say to her when she woke up.
"Oh, yeah, I just sleep with a gun under my pillow, it's totally normal, everyone does it, don't you?"
He almost laughed at the thought. He rubbed his eyes, his hand settling over his mouth as he exhaled deeply. God, what the fuck was he going to tell her? What if she left him? He wasn't sure he would be able to cope. But deep down he knew he couldn't lie to her, not anymore.
You tell her what she deserves. You tell her the truth.
He sighed, knowing the voice in his head was right.
"The truth then," he said.
He just hoped she'd still be here tomorrow. He'd at least hoped to make it past the first couple of days in their relationship.
Thank you! Please review with your thoughts, I would love to hear them :)
Just when you thought things might settle down for our couple, what is Sasuke's dark secret?
See you next time!