Dance for Camera Chapter 2: Before It Started, a twilight fanfic

This is my first Fanfiction so I apologize for any errors, awkward sentences, weird lines of dialog or anything else I could have done wrong.

"Group 13 - Bella Swan, art director and dancer. Edward Cullen, film director and composer."

"Fuck."

I feel all the air leave my lungs and I turn to look at Jasper sitting to my right.

"Jazz."

"I know."

"This sucks."

"I know."

Jasper thinks he knows. He doesn't really know. Not even the half of it.

I've had the hots for Bella Swan since before our 1st year began. I saw her at orientation, across the room in the Q - T line, getting her schedule. Her hair is what caught my attention first, so long and dark and thick and curly. Not many girls commit to growing their hair 2/3rds down their backs. And then she was dressed oddly. It's an art school, so I guess everybody dresses weird. But she was like an odd-sexy. She had on these African tribal print pants and a white t-shirt that was way too big for her and covered in paint, tied at her waist. The pants hugged every curve of her ass and thighs and the shirt left a sliver of creamy stomach showing and her shoulder peeked out from the shirt collar. I don't know why I was so captivated by her. But I knew any other girl could have worn it and it wouldn't have looked as good. As perfect. And then she began to sweep her long hair into her hands, twisting and turning it until I shaped itself into a small bun at the very top of her head. It was like magic, watching all of that hair disappear into the small confines of a rubber band. She rolled her neck and stretched her back. Watching her move was like watching softcore porn. It was so sensual and so innocent. She obviously had no clue of the power her body possessed.

As if by luck, around the end of orientation, she moved closer to me. I got to really look at her face. Big brown eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Pouty, bow-tie lips. A cute button nose. I just stared at her, begging to the heavens that she wouldn't catch me.

"Hey, I really like your pants." A girl wearing glasses with normal boring-length hair said to her.

"Oh, thanks." she said back. She looked so taken-aback by the complement, almost embarrassed. "My Mom got them made for me." her voice was so soft and she sounded so sad.

What's wrong?

"They're really cute. I'm Angela, by the way. What's your name?"

"Bella. Nice to meet you, Angela."

Bella. How fitting.

"You too, Bella. What's your major?"

"Dance. Minor in art."

Dance. Her body...dancing? I'm pretty sure I was sporting a semi-hard erection by that point. Just watching her innocently stretch her back had me up in knots. But her using every part of her body to move to music - to twist and turn and jump and glide? I couldn't even fathom.

"I'm in dance, too! I'm so glad I met you. I'll at least have one friend on the first day."

Bella nodded. "Same." she smiled then, and my eyes went wide. Her smile was so sweet, accompanied by pink-tinted cheeks. I was a goner.

For the next year, I became the type of man I always told myself I wouldn't be.

I never spoke to her. I always watched her from a distance. I never stalked her or anything, but whenever I saw her on campus, all I could do was stop and stare. I went to every dance recital and was mesmerized every single time. She danced like silk, she danced like rain, she danced like electricity. She danced like nobody else. She could move swiftly like she was a feather, powerfully like she weighed a ton, freeze like time had stopped, fall like gravity failed to exist, do it again and again and again. She could move across any surface as if it was ice, she could pirouette for days. It's like her body defied all laws of physics. How can one have that much control? To move her body as sweet as a breeze, then transition to a animalistic beast in a heartbeat. It's like her body screamed, it's like her body sang.

You'd think that after I found out she was Alice's best friend, I would rejoice and do everything I could to not fuck up my meeting with her for the first time. I guess I'm not that smart.
I was so happy. I couldn't wait to be near her.

I would get to say:

"Hi, I'm Edward."

Finally.

I just couldn't wait.

But I got drunk as hell the night before. Emmett was back in town. I let him take me out drinking and I got shit faced.

I went to the costume department way past curfew and ruined everything.

I'd been going there in the late hour for months - ever since I had to go there looking for costumes for a film of mine and found some of Bella's dance costumes instead. I would sneak in, I'd just sit there and touch them, smell them.
I felt like such a pedofile. I didn't regret it until that night.

I always took the utmost care with her costumes. She couldn't know I'd been there. How do you explain that?
But Emmett...he had no idea. Neither did James, neither did Alec, neither did were too drunk to have any idea. Too drunk, too far gone, too in their own fuzzy stupors.

They had no idea.

They had no idea that they shouldn't have been there.

They had no idea that the precious costumes meant more to me than met the eye.

They had no idea that lit cigarettes and broken bottles of beer could burn down a building.

They had no idea.

I don't remember any other part of that evening. Everything else is a blur of drunken fun.
But that costume department consumed by the giant licks of flames, the metal racks melting, the clothes slowly turning to ashes - I will never forget that.

I should have been expelled. I shouldn't be in this class right now, completing my 8 semesters at CalArts. But a rich father can smooth almost any situation over.

I think that's half the reason she doesn't speak to me.

She wants me gone. She doesn't think I deserve to be here. I don't think so either. But I still take every selfish moment I see her, and I cherish it.

The day after the incident was disastrous. I had gone to Jazz's place that night and cried on his couch in an emotional whirlwind, drove by a stomach full of booze. I guess he told Alice before morning, because the next day Bella stormed into Jazz's apartment and unleashed a tidal wave of screams my way. I screamed back. I didn't know why. I think I enjoyed the sound of her voice so much - I would even take it in the form of curse words and wishes for me to go to hell.
She was crying, she looked crazy. It was so beautiful. I wanted to film it, slow it down. Submit it to every film festival and win every award. But I didn't. I couldn't. So we just screamed. We screamed until she fell to her knees in front of us.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU."

Alice ran to her, took her by the shoulders, and stood her up.
"GOOD. HATE ME!"

I just stared at her defeated form and thought:

What have I done?

I guess in that moment, hating me was better than not knowing I existed.

She glared at me. She stood tall, proud. She turned and walked away like nothing happened.

And then Alice screamed and left after Bella. And then Jasper screamed and left after Alice. And then I screamed all alone in the apartment, leaving after noone.

Alice and I met two weeks later. Alice slapped me and threatened to rip my face off. Alice told me I was a dick. Alice told me I should be sorry. Alice saw me grow distraught with every word that flew from her mouth. Alice felt bad for me. Alice and I are okay now.

Bella on the other hand...is walking over to me at this moment looking like she wants to be anywhere but near me.

She's got her hands balled at her sides, hair flowing behind her. She looks pissed.
But those shorts.

Fuck. High-waisted. My favorite on her.

I open my mouth to speak.

"Shut up." Mouth shut, gotcha. "We are fucking stuck together for the next three months, minimum. I'll do my part, you do yours."

"Aren't we supposed to collaborate?"

"Who told you you could talk?"

"Uh..."

"Noone, exactly." She's got her hands on those hips. She looks so hot when she's angry. "I'm going to go home now, decide whether I'm dropping this class. I'm not giving you my number. You will not call me to discuss this. You need to contact me, you come find me and you keep it short. Now, I bid you a-fucking-dieu."

Bella turns on her heels and struts away. She's really good at that. And her ass looks really good when she does that.

Once she's far enough away, I realize what just happened.

A wave of utter sadness washes over me and I begin to walk - more like drag - myself out the door. It's always like this with her, happiness that she's acknowledged me, sadness because it's always with the worst of intentions.

I'm stopped in my tracks by the top of a spiked head of jet-black hair.

"Edward?" she asks me, she sounds about as sad as I feel. She's the only one who knows how I really feel about Bella. I grunt in response. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head. "This fucking sucks, Alice. I don't know what to do."

I'm suddenly enveloped in a set of small, warm arms. "Everything will be okay. I foresee it."

"You're not a fucking psychic, Al."

"Okay, Brooder. I know you're sad, but that doesn't mean you have to pretend reality isn't real."

"I'm not in the mood, Alice!"

"God, okay." she pulls away and taps her finger to her chin for a minute. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but this project is your foot in the door for a better relationship with Bella."

"Oh yeahhhhh. Because she's going to be spending so much time talking to me. We'll be buddies in no time. That makes so much logical sense."
"It does. Bella is a grades maniac, and she won't let you mess up her A streak."

"She'll find a way to do it herself."

"If you persist, and continue to nag her to talk to you - I promise you - It. Will. Happen."

"And then what: 'Oh, I've been bothering you for your attention for a week. Hi, how ya doing? We gonna start this project now, or what?'"

Alice sighs - exasperated. "Stop being such a pussy! You are such a pussy, Edward. Be a fucking, man! You want something? Go get it! She may seem strong - and she is - but once you find an opening, it's hard for her to resist. So get your head out of our ass and figure out a plan." And with that, Alice turns and struts away.

Bella's obviously rubbed off on her. Women.

I sigh loudly and continue my walk out the door, down the street, to my loft-like apartment, and finally to my couch.

This woman.

I knew this day would come - where I'd have to suck it up and do something about our seemingly eternal dispute. I lay back on my couch and stare up at the ceiling.

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do." I sing up into the vast nothingness that is my apartment.
I've always hated being alone for long periods. I'm so used to having a big house filled with siblings and loud noise and barking dogs. When I moved out, my father bought me this loft.

"It'll be good for you." he said

"Just down the street from the school, already paid for, spacious." he said.

But instead it's become a lonely prison of solidarity and emptiness.

I'm so emo. Sometimes I'm surprised Emmett hasn't punched me in the face for the things I say.

I get up to eat something and decide to devise a game plan for Bella while eating my store bought pizza.

I know I have to start small. I can't just go up to her and demand for her to forget about all that happened. I should probably start by apologizing? It frustrates me to think that I haven't already. I wonder if this all could have been avoided if I'd apologized.

I'm such a dick.

But she always avoided me, and once she could be in the same room with me, I felt it was too far gone.

Shoulda tried anyway. But it's never too late, is it?

So apology first, definitely. But when?

What's Bella's first class tomorrow? - E

I text Alice. I don't know what I'm really trying to do here. I didn't even realize I had texted Alice until I hit send. Five minutes later when she responds, I'm still at a loss.

She has experimental art with me at 11. It's in room 45C. Why? - A

Trying to not be a pussy. - E

Atta boy. Game plan? - A

Nope. - E

She doesn't respond for a long time. I get up, change out of my clothes and play around with some guitar riffs - it's 6pm by the time she gets back to me.

Come around early tomorrow. 9:30ish. Take her for coffee down the street. - A

How am I supposed to get her to come with me? - E

Just show up at our apartment at 9:30 and ask her for coffee. - A

Really? - E

Really. - A

So with that in mind and knots in my stomach, I finish whatever homework I have, watch a film restlessly, and then decide to go to sleep. I wake up at 6 in the morning.

Normally, I wake up late - around 9 - and I was hoping to be asleep until then today. But no, my nervous body decided it wanted to wake up three hours ahead of schedule. It proves difficult to find things to fill my time. Especially with nervous jitters.

I pace my kitchen, take half an hour to eat a bowl of cereal, take a half an hour shower, jog in place, do some push-ups, take another shower, get dressed, and finally walk out the door at 9:20.

When I get to the gate of their complex I can't go any further.

Fuck, no. This is dumb. This is crazy. What am I gonna say? Why didn't I think about that during the fucking half-hour I spent jogging in place? You're stupid as hell, Cullen. You should hit your head off of a wall. Maybe you'll knock yourself out & be saved from all of this. Goddamnit.

Alice will be so disappointed if I back out.

Don't be a pussy.

"Uh..." I stare at the gate keeper.

"Yes?"

"Swan, Brandon residents?"

"What about it?"

"Can I um...go there? Maybe?"

Wow, fuck. I really should rethink that wall strategy.

"Sure, sugar. Let me buzz you in."

"No! Don't call them." She looks at me like I'm bat shit crazy. "It's a...surprise."

She's still looking at me like I'm bat shit crazy. I smile. She rolls her eyes, but the gate comes open.

"Thank you, Ms..." I look at her nametag, "Lenette."

"Mmhmmm." She turns away from me and I'm sure it's because she still thinks I'm absolutely, positively, bat shit crazy.

Hey, I don't blame her.

I walk up to their building, up to their floor level door, and knock.

I'm met by a face full of Bella. She's got on an oversized shirt with a brown bear hugging the state of California on it, and super tiny sleep shorts. She's got this innocent face on that I've only seen once before. But all too soon, wide confused eyes turn hard, and open pouty lips turn into a frown.

Goodmorning to you, too, Doll.

"Alice, there's a man here for you."

W O W.

I'm not even Edward to her.

"Um, actually!" My voice speaks before my brain says it's okay. She turns and looks at me, hands on her hips. "I'm here to see you."

"Well what-the-fuck-ever for, Mr. Cullen?" She asks in an overly sweet, British accented voice - just oozing with sarcasm.

"I...uh..." I'm looking down at her staring up at me, but she's definitely the one in control of this situation. I'm running my hands through my hair rapidly. She's always got me shaking in my shoes.

"Spit it out, dunce."

Time to take back control, Cullen.

"I was wondering if you wanted to...like...maybe have coffee or something?"

"I have coffee right here with Alice's shitty cappuccino maker. I'm good."

"Hey! Rude." I hear Alice call from inside. "Oh, hi Edward!" She walks over to the door. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Yep, a real pleasure." Bella mutters. Alice jabs her in the side and Bella exclaims.

"What's up?" Alice looks at me with eyes that say "play along".

"I'm actually here to ask Bella to coffee. I needed to talk to her."

"About what?" Bella butts in.

"Um..."

How do I explain this without making her hate me more?

"Just...some things."

"Project things?" Alice asks with that look again.

"Uh, yeah! Project things."

"I think you should go, Bella." Alice says, looking at her encouragingly.

"I don't think so."

"But I do."

"This situation makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't like feeling uncomfortable."

"We all do things that make us feel uncomfortable."

"We do things that make us feel uncomfortable if we have to. I don't have to do this."

"You're right, you could always fail?"

Bella turns to her then and they seem to have a conversation between them with their eyes. Bella turns back to me and looks at me for a good ten seconds before slamming the door in my face.

I don't know what to do. I just stand there. Confused, upset, distraught, stunned. But not then minutes later, Bella's got the door back open and she's dressed in jeans, studded flats, and a sheer white button up. I really wish she hadn't of put a black top underneath, because I know I could have seen her bra if she hadn't.

"Stop looking at me like that, Pedo." She snaps me back into reality. Her hair is all pulled back in one of those buns, and her face is without obstruction. I can't help but stare at her, with her porcelain skin, plum lips and her angry eyes. "Are we driving?" she asks me, walking past me down the few stairs.

"No."

"What a gentleman." I can practically hear her eyeroll.

"It's just down the street, I thought we'd walk."

"Whatever."

We begin down the street in silence, and it strikes me that this is the most we've ever spoken to each other at once since that day. I look over at her staring straight ahead. I can't help but think...I might actually have a chance.

Ok, so they're headed to the coffee shop. Would you guys like the next chapter in EPOV or BPOV?
Please let me know what you think, and your predictions!

Until next time~

-LBB xoxo