Agh! I am so blocked! Not poop wise, I mean this wise. So here's something funny I wrote a while back just to hold you down until I can get the next chapter up. I'm sorry! Don't shoot me!
Oh, and this actually happened to me. Intending to dye my hair red, it came out very pink. So...be entertained! Please! And I'm sorry!
Tony's POV
"Birdy, you never do anything exciting," I commented to Birdy. She frowned at me.
"I do so!" she argued indignantly. "The other night was pretty exciting." I knew what she was talking about, so I scoffed, "For you, maybe." She hit me jokingly.
"But seriously," I continued, "you do nothing exciting."
"Do so!"
"Name one thing."
She paused. "Uh...I bought new shampoo yesterday!" I rolled my eyes.
"No. I dare you to dye your hair the color of my suit."
"No!" she exclaimed. "Never in a million years!"
"Okay, then." I looked up. "Jarvis, play the chicken song." Birdy looked at me, her eyes squinted in confusion. Jarvis said, "Yes, sir." 'The chicken song' was just a lot of clucking, and at random times, someone would yell, "CHICKEN!"
Birdy glared insanely at me. "Tony."
"Chicken!" I yelled with it. Her face went red.
"Tony!"
"Chicken!"
"Stark!"
"CHICKEN!"
"FINE!" She crossed her arms huffily. "I'll dye my freaking hair!"
Birdy's POV
I shoved a lime green hat onto my head, stuffing all my hair into it quickly. I looked at the window to make sure none of it was showing, and when I was pleased with it, I walked in.
"Let me see it," was the greeting I got from Tony. I frowned.
"Nice to see you too," I said sarcastically.
"Hello, Birdy, did you have a nice afternoon, it's lovely to see you, I hope you're well, now let me see it." Tony crossed his arms. I laughed.
"Hi, Tony, my afternoon was fabulous, I'm glad to see you too, I'm doing fine, and I didn't get it done yet." I pulled the hat more firmly onto my head.
"Then why the hat?" Clint asked. My palms went sweaty.
"I...I just thought it...complimented my pants." I slapped my hands down onto my pants, which were dark yellow. "Doesn't it?"
Everyone stared at me for a moment before saying, "Yes!" at the same time Tony said, "Nope." Everyone looked at him, and he said, "It doesn't!"
"You don't say that to a girl!" Natasha hissed. He looked back up at me.
"Yes, it looks great."
I smiled. "Thanks. Now, I'm gonna go to my room, so, uh, see ya." I ran to my room quick as I could without looking conspicuous.
Tony's POV
"We need to get that hat off her," I instantly said to the others, turning to face them. "Something happened to her hair, and I gotta know."
"If she doesn't want us to know," the Capcicle said, "we should leave it at that." I scoffed.
"Should not!"
I sat on the toilet in Birdy's bathroom, waiting for her to get out of the shower. I was growing very impatient. She took long showers! And the steam was so thick I could hardly see the toilet paper roll a foot away from me.
Finally, the water stopped. I leaned over slightly so I could see, and I saw her hand reaching over the top of the shower to grab a towel that was hung over the edge of the door. I didn't know which I wanted to see more: her body, or her hair.
Sadly, or happily, I can't decide, she stepped out with the towel wrapped around her head. Then she saw me. "Holy shit, Tony!" She took a big step back into the shower, slamming the door hard.
"Let me see your hair!" I yelled.
"No!"
"Either that or you come out here naked!"
"No!"
"Then wrap the towel around your body and step out." I paused. "Or you could drop the towel entirely and forget it. Either way."
"Get out, Stark!" she yelled.
"Nope."
"Go away!"
"Not until you get out of there. Hair, body, or both."
A pause, then she sighed. She stepped out of the shower, and I looked up eagerly, expecting to see her hair, but instead she was just as she had been a moment ago. I frowned.
"Really?"
She nodded. "Eeyup."
"That bad?"
She nodded again. "That bad." I shrugged and leaned back.
"Hmm. I don't mind."
Clint's POV
Tony got me interested.
"Guys!" I shouted, running into the living room where everyone was. Birdy looked up from where she was sitting by Steve, her bright green cap still on. "I found something terrible out!"
"What?" asked Bruce, looking up from his book.
"I have lice!" I exclaimed. "Everyone needs to wash all their clothes! Hats first!" I glanced at Tony, who grinned at me.
"Yeah!" Tony said, turning to Birdy. "Here, I'll do it for you." He reached for her hat, but Steve knocked his hand away.
"Give her a break," he ordered him. "If she doesn't want anyone to see her hair, then she doesn't want anyone to see her hair. Leave it at that." She looked up at him and smiled.
"Thank you, Steve."
But Tony and I shared a look and a nod. We wouldn't stop.
Natasha's POV
A week had passed until I succumbed. I had to know what Birdy did to her hair.
"Birdy?" I asked, walking into her room. She looked up from her laptop. Damn. She even kept the thing on while alone. She smiled.
"Yeah, Tash?"
"Where did you get that necklace?" I asked, coming over to her and sitting across from her. She was always wearing the same little necklace in the shape of a heart. I figured it was a locket. Her hand went up to it.
"Oh, I've had this for..." She squinted an eye. "Three years now?"
"It's beautiful," I complimented. "May I try it on?"
"Sure."
"Thanks." I reached my arms over and proceeded to pull it over her head, when I planned to "accidentally" knock off her hat. But her hands caught mine and said, "I got it."
"It's okay!" I told her, smiling and trying to shake her hands off.
"No, really, I got it." Her blue eyes flashed.
"Oh, but I almost have it!" I slipped it up higher. Then her hands flew to the back of her neck and she undid the clasp. The necklace flopped into my hands and I sighed.
"Very pretty." I handed it back to her. "Thanks." I stood up and left, pouting. Clint and Tony both looked at me expectantly the second I stepped out of her bedroom. I shrugged, defeated.
Bruce's POV
Yes, me too. I hate to admit it, but I got very curious.
"Want to play chess?" I asked as I walked into the living room, where Birdy sat alone. She nodded.
"Sure. Maybe I'll finally beat you." She grinned at me and we both sat on the ground at other ends of the coffee table. I set up the board and we began playing.
"You've improved," I commented. She smiled.
"Thanks. Maybe you've just gotten worse."
I laughed. "Could be," I agreed. We spent a few more minutes playing, and then she won. Yes, I let her. And her next move was to do exactly what I expected. She jumped into the air and squealed, "I did it!"
I stood up, smiling at her. She squealed again and, as I hoped, threw her arms around me in a hug. I couldn't help but grin. I hugged her back, reaching my hand up to her head to try to grab her hat.
She released me, jumping up and down. I cursed mentally. She would not let anyone take that damn hat.
Thor's POV
"Hello, Birdy," I said, sitting at the kitchen table. She turned around from the sink and smiled at me.
"Hey, Thor." She walked over to the fridge. "You hungry?"
"I'm okay," I informed her. "But I appreciate your concern."
My plan, I considered to be foolproof. I knew humans, girls mainly, would whisper into other's ears to tell them a secret. All I had to do was get her to tell me a secret. That might be difficult, but when she did, taking her hat off would be very easy. All I had to do was bring something uncomfortable up that she didn't want to say aloud.
"Won't you join me?" I asked, gesturing to the seat beside me. She smiled and sat down, saying, "Gladly, thank you." Now, secret time. One thing I knew she would get uncomfortable. Stark.
"I understand there's something going on between you and Tony?" I said. Her cheeks reddened.
"Sorta..." She shrugged and scratched the back of her neck. "I mean...not really...I just..."
"You can tell me," I said. "I won't tell anyone anything," I promised. I leaned forward slightly to show her I was listening. She shrugged.
"I don't know..."
"I swear by Odin's name I won't tell a soul anything you confide in me," I promised. She sighed and leaned in a bit.
"Okay, well..." She sighed and gestured for me to come forward. I did, forcing myself not to smile with pride that my plan was succeeding. She opened her mouth, but then-
Beep.
"Oh," she said, standing up and turning to the oven. "That's dinner." I frowned and stood up, walking out of the room without a word. My sour expression told the others that I had failed. They all groaned.
Steve's POV
"Just leave her alone, guys," I snapped as Tony once again made a grab for Birdy's hat at dinner. "Seriously, she doesn't want us to see it!" Birdy smiled at me a genuine, thankful smile.
"Thank you so much, Steve." She looked at Tony. "See, this is how awesome he is. He must be as curious as the rest of you, but he isn't..." I stopped listening. Something poking out of the back of her hat, on her neck, caught my eye. Was I imagining it or was it...?
Before I thought about it, I reached over and snatched the green hat off her head. Her hands flew up onto her head instantly, her jaw dropped.
"Steve!" she shrieked.
"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed honestly, holding the green hat in a fist. My eyes were trained on her hair, just like everyone else. I expected something to be wrong with it, but certainly not...
"Pink." Bruce was the first to speak. "It's...it's pink..." Then, the whole table erupted with insane laughter. Tony slapped his hand on the table, his other hand covering his eyes as he laughed. Natasha's face was red with laughter. Bruce leaning over his plate, his face in his hands as he shook his head. Clint was resting his head on the edge of the table, his shoulder shaking. Thor was slumped down in his chair, his head back. I admit, even I had to fight back some of my laughter.
"It's not funny!" Birdy yelled over our laughter. That made everyone laugh harder. "I could have sworn that lady spoke English!" Everyone laughed more, and Birdy couldn't fight back the smile on her face. Then, our eyes met, and we both started laughing. She threw her head back so bubblegum pink locks cascaded down her back while I shook my head. I just thought it would be a bad haircut, but boy, was I wrong.