Rainbow Dash was flying throught the summer breezy air with such freedom. But not an American freedom, more like a tyrannical, overruled freedom. Yes, life was good for our Rainbow pony who everyone liked and drew sexy artwork of, yes indeed. The wonderful sun that was raised by Princess Digestia herself (All hail Princess Digestia, our wonderful and fair ruler!) shone brightly on Dash's unbrushed mane. She could have stayed in the sky five-ever~

But suddenly, Rainbow Dash remembered she had a 'special' date with Pinkie Pie, the most annoying pony in Ponyland! Rainbow Dash sighed in frustration at the thought of having to go hang out with Pinkie and watch her draw shipping art on Paint. Pinkie Pie was such a nerd, and completely unbearable! But she was however, incredibly sexy.

So, Rainboobs flew over to Sugarcube Corner to meet her horrendiously unfabulous friend. On her way, she stopped by Fluttershy's cottage or whatever the hell her house is.

"FLUTTERHSY!" Rainbow exploded in rage.

"...yes?" The yellow pegasus whimpered.

"Why do you have so many ANIMALS?" She stated in a concerned fashion.

"Rainbow DASH! WE. ARE. ANIMALS." Fluttershy breathed.

In that moment, everything seemed to stop as Rainbow Dash had taken in what Fluttershy had just admitted. Her eyes grew wide in terror as she stared down at her blue hooves, grimacing in sudden realization. This dark, forbidden horror that had never even crossed her simple mind. Everything she knew had all seemed pointless, her friends, her dreams, her entire life. They all were so small and far away now, and she never even knew that the truth was right in front of her face, waiting for her to finally see it. Her eyes began to water and her vision blurred, nothing mattered anymore...

" Well, OKay. Thank you for babysitting my pet FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow giggled.

"No problem." Fluttershy squeaked as a hoard of rabbits trampled over her fragile, weak body.

But Dash already left to visit Twilight before heading to Pinkys house/bakery thing. She busted on through Titlights window, shattering glass everywhere. Twilight was laying on the floor, textin it.

"Dammit, Dash! Why don't you use the door you uneducated abomination?" Twilight angsted all over the room.

"Because doors are sooo mainstream." Rainbow Dash said as she fixed her thick framed glasses that she suddenly had on her blue horse face.

"What do you want?" Twilight yelled, she's always yelling. It must be that time of the month...

"I need you to enchant these mushrooms I found, y'know with that 'spell' of yours..." Rainbow grinned deviously as she pulled out a bag of normal pony mushrooms.

"You damn deadbeat bum... FINE." Twilight lowered her head and made awkward grunts and suddenly MAGIC. The mushrooms sparkled in innocent delight.

"Hell, yes." Rainbow said to herself as she flew out of Twilights broken window.

Twilight shook her head and then kicked Spike, who was sleeping nearby, to vent her frustrations at her dull-headed friends.

Rainbow now was headed to Pinkie's bakery, she dumped the bag of mushrooms intoo her mouth and ate them all without even chewing like the greedy pig she was.

"Oh shiiiiit..." Ranbow muttered as the entire town of Ponyland began to twist and distort, its color scheme changing rapidly. She realized she couldn't fly like this so she landed on the ground. The groung felt like rubber and she tried bouncing on it like a bounce house. She gwaffed in delight as she saw the sun literally smiling upon her. She laid on her back.

"Hello there sun!" She laughed.

"Hello Rainbow Dash! You are looking super fly today!" The sun replied in glee.

Rainbow began to roll all aroung the rubbery ground, when she looked up she saw a gross, green, slimy, infected-looking Rarity staring into her puney soul.

"JESUS." Rainbow errupted. Before screaming in terror, as a million giant slimy tentacles grew from Rarity's gaping-wide bloody mouth and wrapping themselves around Dash. She felt the penatrate her sexy pony body, touching her private areas and non-existant pony boobs. There was a million tentacles, she could hardly breathe.

"NO! Not tentacled rape! I'm not INTO THAAAAAT" She hollared. And tried to think of her happy place, in which she was beating the shit out of an unconcious Fluttershy. That made her feel slightly better.

"Rainbow stop screaming this instant! You look insane!" The Rarity monster gurgled before tossing Rainbow into a black abyss.

As she fell into the darkness she heard deep whispers that she could only think were from Satan's demon children calling her into the evils of the pony underworld. As she continued to fall she was face to face with a dissapointed Applejack. Staring at her as if she had just blew up a truck of baby kittens, not that she hadn't before...

"Ah'm dissapointed in ya, Rainbow! Ah tought we had somethin' SPEEECIAAALL." At the last word, Applejack's face melted into a steamy, orange goo turning the black abyss into an obtrusive orange one. Finally, everything faded out...

Rainbow Dash woke up in a dumpster in the middle of some random alleyway, she smelled of garbage and shame.

"Oh shit, I still need to see Pinkie." She said as she stumbled out of the alleyway in the middle of the day. Luckliy, Sugarcube Corner was only a block away.

Finally RInbow busted through the door of the bakery.

"PINKIE I'M HERE." She adrupted. "LETS HAVE PONY SEX NOW, OKAY?"

She walked upstair to Pinkies to find her making crack cocaine on the stove in her room. Her eyes were bloodshot and she hair was frizzier than normal. She sniffed and looked up.

"HAY GURL! What took you so long!" She asked, white power under her nose.

"I ate some mushrooms and some stuff happened." Rainbow sighed.

"Dashie! You're so silly! You should have told me, so I could do them with you!" She squeed, as she continued to cook the crack.

"Dammit, PInkie when are we gunna sexy time?" Rainbow asked as her horniness became unbearable, as she stared at Pinkie's hot, pink body.

"Hold on! Let me just put some of this crack in my pipe! You want some?"

"God, yes." Rainbow shrieked in happiness.

So, Pinkie and Dash smoked some crack cocaine and had hot, steamy, pony sex.

Rainbow laughed in delight, "Oh Pinkie Pie! You always CRACK me up!"

*studio audience roars with laughter, you can even hear some of them falling out of their seats because they are laughing so damn hard*

Now for our commercial break!