Chapter Nine: Oh, Goodie!
Walking down the steps into the unknown...
Mandi walked ahead of Haldir. The blasted dress she wore was too darn long. Every time she took a step she would almost trip and fall. Going down the steps was a challenge in that same problem seemed to arise with each step. At one point she went to the edge hoping that she would wind up like 'Mary Poppins' and fly down and land smoothly using the dress as the umbrella. She did not want to commit suicide, just glide down like the famous nanny, and have the easy way out, but with her luck, she would fall to her death and be forever known as the fat chick that could not float down gracefully.
It was in those moments, Haldir would come up beside her and try to grab her arm against her will, which would render him a swift smack to push his hand away from her. Haldir tried and tried to help her, seeing her difficulties, but she did not care. She hated him being near her, which is what she wanted him to believe, but deep down she kinda thought he was 'hawt'.
Finally after about what seemed six thousand steps later and too many counts of near fall, they reached the bottom. She kept on walking, but Haldir would pull on her arm and try to stop her. The irritation she felt bubbled out after the last time. She stopped in her tracks and glared at him. It was apparent he wanted something. "What the hell do you want, Hal-deer?" she spat out. He held out an arm for her to take. His eyes going back and forth between his arm and her eyes. It was clear he wanted her to take it. She got the hint. "Hell no! I do not want to touch you." she told him.
He cleared his throat and cocked his head and looked at her expecting her to comply. She threw her hands in the air and screamed to the tree tops. "What the hell did I ever do to be saddled with this arrogant ass? Huh, tell me!' she demanded.
Haldir took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm, then patted it. "There are certain things you should learn about the elves and the etiquettes we practice. First off, stop the cursing. It is unladylike and vulgar. If you want people to respect you, you must hold your tongue. Second, in Lorien, unbound ladies do not go about un-escorted. It is considered improper." he told her looking down at her sideways.
She pulled and pulled her hands to try and free it, but Haldir kept his reserve and held tight. He was serious. She finally gave up when her arms began to tire. She looked at him. "Haldir," she started sweetly. He looked at her with interest in his eyes.
"Yes, Mandi." he said nicely.
"Blow me! Improper my ass! In my world kindness and impropriety is out!" She said with a swift yank of her hand. She was free by the simple act, but her victory did not last. Cause just as she said what she did, two elves, a male and female came toward them and their jaws dropped at her brashness. Haldir seeing what had happened. Said something in rapid elvish and pulled her by the arm, hard enough to bruise, and pulled her into a nearby bower.
"Mandi, that was uncalled for, and rude. I will not have you speaking to me thus. By now, all of Lorien has heard of you being my charge, and expects you to act like the Lady you will be. Understood." he said staring at her, irritation covered his fine features. Mandi looked at him, deep down she felt bad, cause in her eyes, Haldir was conceited. He thought his shit did not stink.
Haldir having had enough of her not listening, grabbed her shoulders and shook her until her eyes met his. "Stop this Mandi. In order to survive here, you must listen to my direction." he told her harshly.
"Why do you care what happens? I am not staying here. I do not care what others think of me, and I do not need you telling me what to do. You are not my husband, not my father, and by God, you are NOT my boss. Leave me alone!' she told him, her breath labored and her anger rising.
Haldir took in a ragged breath and calmed himself. There had to be some way to get through to her. He thought a moment. 'What did Saralonde do all those years ago?' then it hit him. "Alright, I will make a compromise. Do what I ask you today, with no questions asked. I will take you back to the talan and let you alone for the rest of the day. How does that sound?" he said hoping she would agree.
She bit her lip thinking. "No. I got one better. Let us not and say we did, and you let me go now?" she spat back.
Haldir released her arms and ran an aggravated hand through his unbound hair. She was going to be more difficult than he thought. "Mandi," he said in a sigh, "will you please for once in your life, just let someone show you kindness?' he asked.
That did it. She fumed. "What the hell do you know of my life? Tell me." she asked him as he looked at her as if trying to figure her out. He said nothing. 'I thought so, you know nothing, nor will you ever so just let it go. Let me leave. I do not want to be a burden to anyone, cause it is obvious that I am a hindrance to you." she turned to walk away, but Haldir being the stubborn sort, reached out and grabbed her arm again. It was beginning to hurt. She looked at him. "Ouch. You are hurting me every time you grab my arm." she admitted to him.
His grip loosened. "I am sorry, I do not mean to harm you. All I am trying to do is show you kindness and direction. Let me take you on a tour of the city. You will love it. I promise you." he said hoping still that she would take the bait.
Progress?...
She huffed out an irritated breath, getting the feeling that Haldir did not back down. She looked at him. "I am not going to hear the end of it, am I?" she asked.
He smiled lightly. "No, you are not. Now shall we?" he said holding out an arm with expectation.
She looked at the arm, and rolled her eyes. She weaved her arm with is. "Whatever!" she said sarcastically.
Haldir smiled winningly, seeing the progress. But soon found out, she was still a sourpuss. Silence came, at least on her part. Haldir rattled off the history of the city showed her many of the city sites.
Though she did not show it, Mandi was impressed with the intricate designs of the buildings and the gardens. It was near midday, when the main tour was done and Haldir was now leading her down a well-beaten path.
Only when her curiosity was piqued did she speak to him. "Um, Haldir, where the hell are you taking me?" she asked.
"Just wait. You shall see." he said quietly.
He led her down the path further. As he did, several male elves passed them by. Bowing their heads, and carrying weapons upon their backs and on their hips. She looked at Haldir who was showing no emotion. 'Wonder where he is taking me?' she thought to herself. Her question was answered within just a few more yards.
Oh, Goodie!...
Out before them was a vast clearing, trees surrounded it and caused great seclusion. There was nothing there but a few targets. Haldir looked on in pride as two wardens stood cocking their bows and taking aim. She looked up at him, then scratched her head. Haldir glanced down at her. "We are here." he said smiling, expecting her to be overjoyed.
She looked out to the field and then to him again. "We are where?" she asked him.
"Here." he said pointing out to the field with his hand.
Feeling her sarcastic self coming on, she unlaced her hand from his arm. Her hands shot to her mouth. A mock look of shock and surprise fell behind her hands. She jumped up and down a second and turned in circles hugging herself. "OH! GOODIE! I have never seen a field before. Oh, thank you, thank you, Haldir. Just what I always NEVER wanted to see!" She hugged his side a second and turned to look at the field once more. The humor in her voice completely gone, and now she was irritated. "No, really, asshole. Is this some sort of sick elven joke? I mean, really man, is this it? The whole kit and kaboodle?" she asked.
"Yes, this is it. It is the training field. I wanted you to see it." he told her.
Her jaw dropped, stunned that he was being serious. "You. Wanted. Me. To. See. A. Fucking. Field? What the Hell, Haldir? Why? It is not like I have not seen a flat grassy knoll before." she told him.
"The training field is going to be quite important to you in the weeks to come. I wanted you to see where you will spend most of your time." he said completely and totally serious.
"Why the hell is that?" she asked him walking away for a moment then looked back at him.
Haldir smiled broadly, flashing his pearly white teeth. He reached out with is first finger and touched her nose lightly. "Because, lirimaer, you are going to be trained and disciplined here. There is no better way to teach one how to control their anger, aligned their inner reserve, and help show themselves some self-respect. You will learn the art of shooting the bow. It takes patience, accuracy and great discipline." he told her smugly.
'Shoot a bow?' she said to herself. She looked at him. The vision of her with a bow in hand and shooting him in the ass came clear as day. She smiled at the image running in her mind. If she wounded him, she could then leave without the threat of him coming for her. She smiled back at him and laughed. "Sure. That would be great. Tell me, Haldir, are all elves as stupid as you?" she asked sarcastically.
He looked at her as if he did not get it. "I am not, stupid." he defended himself.
"Oh, yeah right and I am the Virgin Queen of England. Think on it, Haldir. Train me? That is like putting a stick of dynamite in a baby's hand and allowing them to play with it." she told him rolling her eyes. Although it was just the 'out' she needed.
"I am not sure what that means. Can you please tell me?" he asked thoroughly confused.
She thought a moment. To wound him, would probably get her executed and Haldir was not worth the execution. She relented and told him the plan. "Haldir, if you train me. How do you know you can trust me not to hurt you?"
"You will not, Mandi. Deep down inside you have goodness in you." he told her.
Then a light bulb lit up in her mind. "I know, teach me how to use a sword so I can stab you in the ass and get a clean get away!' she told him without a second thought.
He looked appalled at what she said. He went to open his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
"I mean it, I want to learn the swordplay. I would love to rage a personal war with you, and get you to let me leave this godforsaken place." she told him, no emotion showing on her face.
She was growing a little tired, not to mention her stomach was growling. If only she had eaten her breakfast this morning. Haldir looked at her, he had heard it from where he stood. "Did you eat this morning?" he asked. He sounded to her, like he was concerned but that was not possible, it could not be. No one cared for her.
"What the hell do you care? All you were worried about was your damned tour, not to mention did not give a shit that I was tired. Period." she told him harshly.
He turned from her and leaned against a rather very large log and then leaned his backside on it, looking at her. "Mandi, what is wrong with you? I bring you out here, offer a way for you to channel your anger, and help in your healing, and all you do is ridicule, harass, offend, and down right threaten me. What have I done to you, that has rendered this sort of behavior? Have I offended you? Am I at fault that people can not stand the type of person you are?" he finally asked.
'Okay, he is pissed.' she said to herself. 'I give in. Should I let him have my answer?' she asked herself internally. She decided to let it fly. "It is not my fault people are asses. Hell, I tried to be myself, be something I was not. Tried to love myself and all I got was ridiculed no matter what I tried. The fault lies with others, not me. Deep down, I am a good person, I tried to be kind, but it doesn't matter to them. So, after a while of hearing hateful, hurtful words, you tend to believe it. It was through all the hate, that I learned, long time ago, that I had to take care of myself, be the only one to take care of me. Hell, my own parents were disappointed in me, so buddy, it is nothing different that others hate me too. I also know that no one truly cares what happens to me, if they act like they do, I know it is not so. So my life is worthless, and It was them that made it so! So how I am, comes from years of living a life of complete social isolation. No, Haldir, no one can stand me, and it is not my fault." she stopped, looked at him, her chest rising and falling hard from the anger she felt. Haldir stared at her no expression, and no words came from him.
She took a deep breath and spoke softly. "I cannot, and Will not, allow kindness in my life again. No matter what I do, it goes unnoticed, cause I am not worthy to be treated kindly. I am fat, ugly, useless, and unwanted. Even now, I know you do not want me around. All this 'KINDNESS' you are showing me, is a like a puff of smoke. It will fade, just like all other good things do." she turned and began to walk away.
Haldir stared at her retreating form a moment. What had just happened? Did she just give him clues to her past, a glimpse in how to help her? HE was not sure. He felt, deep down, she had goodness in her. Could it be possible, people in her world chose to ignore it and continued their assault? He did not know how to react. He pushed off the tree and went after her.
N/A: How am I doing? There is some controversy on whether this is an exaggerated attempt to create a NON Marysue story. I am, and yes this is, but after this chapter, there is some improvement about to happen to Mandi. This story has surprisingly been well received by readers, far passed my expectations. At first, I was afraid to post it, but am finding, that it was the best idea I had yet. Thank you to all who have read, given insight, and downright loves it! Huggles.
I ask: Have you ever or have you ever known someone that is so teased, ridiculed and ignored, that they shy away from all social events?
Mandi, in a way, is like myself. I was teased, ignored and well, unknown, to an extent. Mandi is about to learn kindness on several levels. At first it will be rocky, and she teeter back and forth, before she is completely humbled.
Give this story time to develop, bear with me. I am working on my three-year epic now, so most time is devoted to it, (close to being done) once done, I will work on this more. I have ideas on the next chappie now, so soon, I will have more to write.