"Please stop" I cried. "I can't take this anymore" I was sobbing at this point. I could feel him taking off my clothes as I fought with all my strength to get him off me."Please stop, stop and I swear I won't tell anyone about what happened," we were both naked by now and after a second of silence I felt this huge pain between my legs.

"Shut up bitch," was his only reply. He didn't care about my pain, he wasn't going to stop untill he got what he wanted.

I could no longer hold in the ongoing ache between my legs, so I screamed, at the top of my lungs. It was a scream that would have alerted anyone close of what was happening. But no one came to my aid. I could feel him pushing into me harder and harder. I could no longer stand the pain so I stopped struggling. I figured the less I moved the less it hurt. I was still mumbling "Stop, please, please." They were the only words I could say.

I woke up from my nap with a start. That gruesome night still frightens me. It wakes me in the middle of the night when it comes to life again in my dreams, I just can't seem to forge tit. No matter everything I've done to try and make myself feel numb, it always comes back to me. After all the trouble I've caused myself all the stuff I've done to my body, I'm still scared of one small memory. Clam down Clare it's just a dream.

That and I'm scared of going to Degrassi tomorrow. I would never admit this to anyone, though it would only make me seem weak. And I am not a weak, frail, vulnerable person. Thats the reason I rule my own life. Because I don't let anyone interfere with me or my morals. Not that I have that many anymore.

Ever since what happened to me, I have stopped believeing God had a path for me. If he did, he wouldn't have ever made me go through all the pain Iv'e come across. He would have never ruined me if he cared. One one cares. I was a flightless bird.

Anyway, what if going to a new school changed things for me? No one at Degrassi knows me or my past, not even Jake. I don't know anyone who goes to Degrassi besides Jake, so theres no reason for anyone knowing about me or my faults. Maybe I meet new people and have new friends.

Ha, I start laughing at myself once those thoughts go through my head. Friends are for children, and I don't need them.

"Helen," Jake's home! Yay, notice my sarcasm. "Is my father home yet?"

"No honey, but I'm sure he'll be here any minute." I can hear them make small talk before Helen brings up the topic I hoped she forgot about. Seeing as she tells Jake about it, she hasn't. "So, guess who's going to be joining you at Degrassi tomorrow?"

"Hmm, could it be The Hulk?" Ha I wish.

"No silly, Clare!" She said it with so much enthusiasm you'd think she acually gives a damn about me.

"Oh I didn't know Clare was going to honour us Degrassians with her presense, I'll go talk to her right now."

I heard him come up the stairs towards my room. I grab a random book and pretend to be reading it when i hear him knock on my door.

"Come in"

"Hey Clare, just found out about the big move." he sat next to me on my bed.

"Yup, got myself expelled from Doll and am going to Degrassi tomorrow."

"What did you do" he looks at me with a huge smile. I look away and say nothing. When he finally sees I won't answer his question he says, "Well if you need anything, a tour of the school, someone to sit with at lunch, anything at all, heres your older brother at your service."

"Thanks Jake I really appreciate it" I don't mean it at all but I say it to make him feel better. He leaves after and I fall back to sleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Finally a night full of sleep without me having that stupid nightmare again. Today is my first day at Degrassi, and I hope to make an impression. I pick out a shirt with matching flats, a cardigan and skin tight jeans. No way in hell am I planning to give up my old ways so I have to look desirable.

Downstairs, I see Jake already eating breakfast so I go over and take a seat next to him. Something's bugging me but I'm scared to ask. I want to know what Degeassi is like. I start serving myself Cherrios, when I feel someone's eyes on me. I look up and see Jake starting at me. "What"

"Nothing just your choice of clothing,"

"Well, what's wrong with it?"

"No, nothing its just that going like that will definatly attract some unrequied attenion" He kept looking at me like I had two heads.

"Oh," I said nonchalantly as I finished my breakfast.

"Well then, we must get going if you don't want to be late on your first day at a new school." we were going to school on Jake's truck. I grabbed my bag on our way out. Jake and I made small talk on our way. I found out that the school had uniforms untill recently, which I felt graceful for. And that Jake had a firlfriend, Katie. I was caught by surprise by that one. I was about to ask how long they have been dating when we pulled up in the school parking lot. I guess Jake didn't tell anyone about me because people started staring at us once we got out the car. I should have known he didn't even tell his friends about his whore sister. I thought we had this sister/brother understanding going on. I guess I was wrong.

A girl came up to us. She was pretty, had shoulder length black hair and had nice eyes. "Hi I'm Katie Jake's girlfriend," she was putting it out there incase I wanted to steal him or something. Wouldn't blame her though if I'd seen my boyfriend pull up at school with a girl like me, I would want to know what the hell was going on too.

I rolled my eyes an told Jake "I guess you haven't told anyone about me, have you?"

Jake ignored me and turned to Katie "Katie, this is Clare."

Realization went through Katie's eyes as she looked between us too. "Oh my god, Clare! I have heard so much about you. And I'm sorry about sounding like a bitch before." she said looking ashamed.

I was about to answer when the bell rang. "Well, I guess I'll see you around?" I didn't even ewait for her response befpre I went towards the entrance.

This school is just like Doll, everyone judges you by the way you look. And I still can't get over how Jake failed to tell people he had a sister. A step-sister but still. Where the hell am I supposed to go? I don't see the main office. I'm just standing in the middle of the hallway looking around. I should have asked Jake where the office was. I was so busy looking around for the office I didn't even notice when a boy was running towards me untill we collided.

"Dude what the hell, can't you see we're going to be late for class?"

"Sorry I don't know where I'm supposed to go. I'm new here so I don't know my way around."

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm just running late for class, but forget it I'll take you to the main office." I was about to protest when he took my arm and was leading me towards the office which, to my dismay was right in front of me.

"Oh I'm so stupid!"

"It's ok, I was lost on my first day here also. I'm Adam by the way." He took out his hand and before I knew what I was doing, I took it.

"Clare"

"I have to run if I want to make it to class on time. I'll see you around?"

No. No No. "Um, sure." I looked at him as he walked away from me. He was short for a teenage boy. And his voice was kind of high for a male he was also very thin. But he was friendly and I went ahead and talked to him what was I thinking? This could only lead to bad things.

The person at the desk gave me a tour of most of the school, and when I felt like I wouldn't get lost she gave me my schedual and I went off to my first class, English. I am a junior, but it looks like I had Grade 12 English. Class was almost over so I figured I'd just go in to know what its like. I was at the door and knocked. I'll admit I was very nervous.

"Come in" There was an old looking woman sitting behind a desk. "Hi, what can I do for you?" The same voice asked.

Every pair of eyes in the room looked up at me. "Um, well I think I might have this class," what the hell did I just say?I must look like a complete idiot, I wish I'd bring something to ease my nerves. I gave the teacher my schedual. She looked at it once before turning to the class.

"Class, please give a warm welcome to your new classmate," she turne back to me. "What's your name dear?"

"Um, Clare."

"Well Clare, I'm Ms Dawes, and we were in the middle of starting a project. And it seems like everyone has a partner," She said looking aroud and she was right everyone did have a partner.

"I don't mind working alone" I said but before I could press on it, someone said,

"She can work with us" I noticed the boy from earlier put his hand up. Adam looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.

"Great! Clare" She motioned for me to take a seat with Adam and his partner.

Adam looked very excited for some reason. "Eli, this is Clare." He motioned to his friend. "I met her this morning when she tried to kill me by jumping in my way" I chuckled before turing to look at Eli.

"Hello, Eli Goldsworthy at your service" He had nice eyes was all I could think. They were a nice shade of green. I felt like green was my new favorite color. He appeared to be wearing all black clothing, but despite that I felt attracted to him. He was looking at me up and down just like I was to him.

"Clare Edwards" I smiled at him. He smirked back at me. God, he is sexy I thought. I wonder what I have to do to get him to take a trip to the janitors closet with me. Well I can tell I'm gonna have fun at this school. I gave him another flirty smile.

Hey me again, this chapter had a lot of mistakes I know but I just wanted to get it out of the way so sorry about that. I wanted to thank the 5 people who reviewed my first chapter. And please I know this chapter was kinda boring, but it will get better, I promise! And Thank you again if you reviewed it meant a lot to me to hear from you! And please review again! Thanks!

-Alice (: