Everyone is so sweet, the reviews were wonderful :) so thanks everyone for sticking with me. This is in Peeta's POV (which I am growing to love doing more and more) I hope you enjoy!

Suzanne Collins owns The Hunger Games

xxxxx

When you find that special someone in life that you realize you can't live without, you do anything you can to protect them. You keep them safe for as long as you can because without them your life would mean nothing. They bring you to each day with a sense of brightness and hope and there is nothing you wouldn't do for them.

It has been less than a week and during that time I've changed and it is all due to Katniss. When I'm with her, my mind doesn't have double vision in memories. She brings out the best my mind has to offer and I remember the goodness in life again. When she felt bad about me hearing her screams after the nasty nightmares, it took some restraint to only just hug her. I wrapped my arms around her back after she had already done so to me. This embrace is comfortable and so warm. I will hold her. Always.

I kiss the top of her head and reluctantly pull away. I need to clean up before I do something stupid that I know we both aren't ready for. I pick up my plate and napkin and walk to the trash. I look down before I toss anything and I see the neatly folded paper. I throw my stuff away careful not to get any remaining food on it. It takes me a fraction of a second to decide to pick it up. I know what it is, but I don't know what lies inside.

I'm reminded of yesterday and Gale's rude arrival. Why would she hide this from me? I would think because of our closeness lately, this would be something she would share with me. Do I not deserve to know that the boy who wants to steal Katniss' heart is coming? Maybe I've been reading these signals wrong the whole time and maybe she only pities the boy who the Capitol destroyed. No, if that were true she wouldn't act like she cared. But she's done that before hasn't she? She lied about her feelings for me in the first games.

I feel Katniss touch my back and then back away. We both know what's coming and we both know I can't control it. I tightly shut my eyes so I can concentrate on swaying my mind and keeping the darkness inside for a little while longer. I ball my fists in an attempt to hold onto the remaining sanity. I feel her come back to my side and grab my left hand. She's trying to unclench my fists, but I need to keep a hold of something to remain in control. Katniss starts to rub my back and it does calm me some, but not enough to keep this terror at bay.

I have to tell myself she only faked caring about me to keep us alive. Someone that keeps another person alive when all hope is gone has to have some sort of love in their heart. This is what I hold onto for a moment.

"Katniss," I manage. "I don't know if I can control it." At this she tries to quiet me and tell me she's never letting go. This is the only thing I hear until she lays her head down on my shoulder. Then I'm hearing Gale's voice in my mind and I feel betrayed all over again. She lied to me and I told her how much I need to hear the truth. With Gale coming here I feel abandoned because why wouldn't she pick him? He has all his body parts and doesn't even have to try.

"I need to go for a walk." I say and try to hide the hurt in my voice. I shrug off Katniss and feel horrible as soon as I did it. Here she is trying to comfort me, shouldn't that count for something?

I crumple the letter angrily in my hands and I throw it back where I found it. I walk past Katniss who looks so torn. I know I just hurt her in so many ways, didn't I vow to protect her, and here I am crushing her.

I'm not sure what it is that keeps me walking in the direction of the door; it could be the hallucination or anger at the situation. I walk to the door and turn the handle, opening it so I can leave. Before I close the door completely I think I hear her cry for me to stop. The sadness in her voice is overwhelming, but I need to keep moving. I need to think this through, alone.

I walk around Victors Village, careful to maneuver around bushes and trees. I avoid the house behind Katniss' for fear of running into Gale. I'm not sure what I'd do, probably nothing. I would take whatever he had to throw at me and Katniss would probably just stand there and watch. She thinks that little of me anyways.

I've been walking for a while and I realize just how cold it is. I left my jacket at Katniss' house, but I'm not ready to return quite yet. She didn't tell me something that I would have told her and I don't know what to do with that. I know I'm being ridiculous and incredibly selfish but I just want a simple life where I don't have to think I'm going to be replaced. I want to feel whole and I just want to feel wanted.

It was then I realize I never even gave her a chance to explain or give her the chance to tell me about Gale. With that thought I'm racing back to her house. I'm still angry, and I will probably be angry for a while because the girl I care about most lied to me again, but I go to give her the chance.

I reach her stairs and I climb them very carefully. I walk through the door and find her immediately, she hasn't moved much since I left. She is sitting on the floor with her knees to her chin. If I were to look into her eyes I know I would melt and try to comfort her as best as I can. So I avoid her gaze and I sit across from her on the floor. I waited a while before I said anything because I needed to get my thoughts straight first. I needed to understand why she lied.

"You lied to me," I wait. "Again."

It takes her a moment to compose an answer, "I didn't lie to you Peeta, I just didn't tell you." Her answer to me is the same as lying. Omission is lying and this is exactly what I tell her, "If you had to omit it, it was a lie." I feel as though this conversation is not going as planned and I feel myself getting angrier.

"It isn't that I omitted it," she says. "It just never came up in conversation and quite frankly I had forgotten it myself." I know this is truth and maybe she would have told me had she remembered.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I tried to hide the hope that I felt building inside me. If she was going to tell me at some point then I would feel better about him being here.

My hopes were soon crushed. "I'm not sure; I never wanted him to come. I would have just told him to stay where he was and then forget the whole thing." I sigh. By not telling me, she's saying she doesn't trust me. Maybe I was just seeing things and misinterpreting the signals.

I get up because I don't want to be here anymore, I'm surely going to break down soon. This girl I have loved since I was five years old is still playing like we're in the game. Like when Haymitch and her would keep secrets from me. I look over my shoulder, but not at her for fear of what I would see there, "I'm going to sleep at my house." I walk through the door and back to my house. As soon as I walk in and close the door I'm crumpling to the floor. I lean my back against the door and let the cries escape my lips. I'm broken and pathetic and she saw that. She saw that I was nothing and no good for anyone. I hold no value and am worthless. I am everything my mother said I would be.

I sit there for a few more hours in self pity before I climb the stairs to maybe get some rest and rid myself of this day. I reach my bedroom and my windows are already open from the last time I slept here. I lay on my bed and I hear, faintly at first but then it grows louder, a startling sound.

Katniss is screaming. They aren't her normal nightmare cries; they are full of anguish and regret. Looks like I am the coward I claimed to be for not going to her. I need to get away, and I need to get far from her cries. I go back downstairs and I listen, I can't hear her from here. I can't hear her heartbreaking just like mine. She shouldn't be this hurt. It isn't as if she loves me.

I collapse on the couch that is far less comfortable compared to Katniss'. I'll never shake her from my thoughts. The events of the day weigh me down and I quickly fall asleep.

I'm confronted by many nightmares tonight.

At first I'm running and I have my leg back. It feels foreign because it has been gone for so long. When I'm looking down to inspect my newly acquired leg, I see what I'm running on. All along the ground are tightly packed skulls and some still have flesh on them. With every footfall I hear a sickening crunch but I can't stop. The sky around me is an odd crimson color, much like the sky when dawn breaks, only much bloodier. I look ahead of me and see what I'm running to: Katniss. She's crumpled on a heap of skulls and her tears are black as night. She's stuck on the mound of skulls by a skeleton hand. It has clamped onto her leg and won't let go. I'm running to reach her and save her from the grasp of the dead when the scene changes.

I'm still running, notably not out of breath, but this time I'm on sand with water surrounding both of my sides. It is a long sand bar that goes on for miles in each direction. The sun is out and shining too brightly and everything looks like it's been put on high contrast like in a picture. The only clear, dark thing I see is Katniss. She is now standing, far away, but close enough for me to make out the details in her stature. She is just standing there looking, waiting for me. I finally reach her and I've stopped running. Before I can get out any words she's attached herself to me by wrapping her arms around my torso. We fall into that familiar embrace and it feels like home to me. It feels like I'm finally not alone in this world. I look down and realize Katniss has been trying to talk to me, but whenever she tries to speak all I hear are ocean waves crashing. I ask her repeatedly to speak again, but she dejectedly turns her face away from mine. We stay in this embrace and I quickly forget her trying to speak to me. Finally, she tries one more time to talk and this time I understand her fully. She says, "You don't love me anymore." And with that she's shattering into a million tiny bloody pieces on the sandy floor.

I awake with a start, I don't scream but I am confused by my surroundings. I don't remember where I am until it dawns on me I am not at Katniss' house, I am at my own home, and I'm on my living room couch. I get up, having to use my fake leg again is harder than imaginable, to get a glass of water because the last two nightmares have shaken me with fear. I begin to have an internal debate about going to see Katniss and make sure she's safe and okay. I settle for going to see her in the morning and maybe work things out. I know I'm being ridiculous with my anger towards her and the situation, but I never know what to trust anymore. Especially myself.

After a long drink of water over my kitchen sink I head back to the couch. I'm so afraid of hearing Katniss screaming that I stay away from my room. I lay down, not even intending on falling asleep once more, but it happens anyways.

This is the worst nightmare by far.

I'm back in the capitol holding cell; it's dark, cold and dreary here. Immediately fear consumes me and I'm even afraid to breathe. I'm in the chair they kept me in with my wrists and feet tied up like always. The places where the rope touches are raw and are starting to bleed. I'm sweating from the last round of trackerjacker venom and the thoughts those people tried to put there. My arm is sore from the huge needle they kept poking me with. My shirt is bloody from the many times they hit me when I gave them what they counted as a wrong answer-every time I gave them an answer of my undying loyalty to the girl I've loved since I was five. Every mark on my body holds its own amount of pain.

I blink and the scene shifts almost in slow motion. In one moment I'm in that dreaded cell and in the next I'm alone in an open room, but still bound to the chair. I hear faint cries and it is then that light slowly begins to enter the room. My eyes have to adjust to the new lighting, but they do so quickly. At first I don't understand, but then I get it. Gale is standing at the very most twenty feet away and his back is to me. I see his hand swing back, then forward and then a quick, "smack!" as it makes contact with the intended target. It takes me a while to see what he's hitting repeatedly. Then I see. I hear what it is also- or should I say I hear what she is. He's whacking Katniss with all the force he can muster. She's crying out for help and I'm stuck in the chair. I'm trying so hard to break free of the ropes, but I can't make them budge. He strikes her again and I hear the painful shrieks. I want to cry out as well, but unknown to me until now, my mouth is sealed shut by some square, silver covering. I can't save her and it kills me. Then the worst of my nightmare happens. Her screams stop and her body falls limp to the ground. Between Gale's feet I see her cold, lifeless eyes. Gale's hand falls to his side and it's dripping in what can only be Katniss' blood. He turns to me ready to do the same.

I awaken with such a start I almost scream out. I see that the sun has risen and is now coming through my curtains. It is then I run upstairs and change into new clothing. I race back downstairs with new determination in my heart. I need to keep Katniss safe and I have always vowed to do so. I leave in such a rush I nearly forget to shut the door. I need to calm myself down so I painfully go at a fast walking pace and hope she's awake for me to embrace. That's really all I want to do, that and tell her to forget about Gale.

I walk between house and come up behind Katniss' house. I see the primroses in back need some serious attention because they have begun to wilt. When I bring my attention back to in front of me, life turns into slow motion. Even my breathing slows. What I see is Katniss in a lip lock with another man. Not even some random guy, but Gale. It is then I feel my own heart break and my stomach lurch. The sight is too much for me and I let a few stray tears fall down my face. I was horribly wrong; in front of me is the exact opposite of my nightmare.

I turn on my heel and run. I don't even care where I'm running to I just need to be anywhere but here right now. Just when I think I am far enough away and no one saw me, I'm wrong and I still hear, "Don't worry, Peeta, that wasn't the first time I've gotten to kiss her!" What? How much have I been lied to about? How much does Katniss really keep from me? I have slowed myself down because I'm sure Katniss isn't looking for me anyways.

I'm really just going in circles and have no idea where I'm going. Somehow I wind up at what I assume to be my family bakery in town. I haven't been here at all since returning because I didn't want to feel sad anymore, turns out it feels more like home. I sit on the concrete steps that have somehow survived the bombs and I think briefly that I can smell fresh bread. The moment is gone too soon and I'm left empty once more. It's too late, but I'm ready to mourn the family I've lost. I go to the only place I can think of good enough for mourning. I go to the woods.

I carefully get under the weak part of the fence, waiting to hear for the live buzz, despite knowing it is powerless. I go to that part in the woods I always imagined following Katniss to. Here she mourned for things lost and so shall I do the same. I mourn for the family that couldn't get away while bombs were destroying everything. I cry for my family who had no way out and were probably trapped while the district became ablaze. I cry for my father and my brothers, and even for a moment I mourn for my mother. When I think of each person individually my heart grows lonelier.

When I finish my goodbyes that will never reach their ears, I move onto the girl that was on fire. By the time she reaches my thoughts my heart is already empty enough that nothing is left to take. I know she will be happy and Gale was right. She will choose whoever she thinks she can't survive without. It is then my tears are washed away by a few raindrops and soon the few turn into many which multiply into thousands of drops. It turns into quite a vicious storm, but I don't care. The thunder and lightning is relentless and I find it fascinating. I keep an eye on the sky, the flashing light keeps my attention.

For a while this keeps me entertained for reasons unknown to me. Then out of the corner of my eye I spot it-the last dog that ran away while trying to save Katniss. It looks hungry and ready to seek its revenge for its fallen friends. I welcome this because maybe with this death, all my conflicting feelings and rage will be gone. I sit on the stone and stare intensely at the dog willing it to do its worst.

Faintly I hear a deep voice calling my name, along with some loud cursing at the storm. While my head is turned in the direction of the voice the dog lunges at me and I welcome the darkness. It's peaceful there.

If this is heaven, I want a refund. Its pitch black and I hurt everywhere. Maybe this is hell and maybe I'm being punished. Then it appears to me that I'm not dead, no, I'm lying on a very hard surface and someone is applying pressure to my arms. My eyes fling open and out of my mouth flies all the feelings of pain and hurt I've managed to keep inside.

I look and see it is none other than Katniss holding my arms so I begin thrashing around. She lets go of me, but only for a brief second. Not long enough for me to gain any thoughts of escape and then she's back trying to hold me done.

"Peeta, please stop! I can't hold the blood in if you keep moving!" she says. I finally meet her eyes which I have been avoiding up until now. Tears are forming and she looks so sad. I listen to her and keep still, but wince from the pain in my arms. I can't seem to find my voice to say anything to her. I want her to let me go because I don't want her to think she owes me anything, she owes me nothing.

I seek air into my lungs and I manage to speak, "Let me go." I breathe in almost a whisper because my voice has gone hoarse.

"What?" She asks confused. I know she heard me, but I try again.

"Let me go," my voice becomes stronger. "You don't owe me anything, let me go!"

"I can't." Is all she says. This moment is all too familiar, only this time I'm begging for her to let my life end.

She climbs up on the table with me while still holding my arms. She looks at me straight in the face and tells me, "I can't." I see the tears falling down her face and she carefully lays her head on my chest. She begins to cry and repeat she can't over and over. I'm confused; if she has Gale then letting me die shouldn't be a problem. But I let her lay here, crying it out until Haymitch shows up.

"Mockingjay," he says sadly. "You need to help him, not drown your sorrows on his shirt like he's a pillow." He helps her up, she nods and wipes her face on her sleeve. "There are only bite marks on his arms, that I can see anyways." Katniss tells Haymitch while sniffing. "Well," Haymitch says while checking the bite marks. "What can we do?"

Katniss keeps her hands on my arms and nods in a far direction. "Over there," she says. "In that cabinet lays a sewing kit. Grab it. We need to sew him up to stop the bleeding because these marks are brutal. I can't get the bleeding to stop. After I put the stitches in we need to wrap it in bandages. The ones you gave to him for my own marks will do just fine." Haymitch nods and hands her the sewing kit. He tells her he's going to go get the bandages from her house.

I've remained quiet for the whole ordeal, just simply watching them. I have closed my eyes again and a few moments later the pressure is gone from my arms. I reluctantly open my eyes and see Katniss is already walking back with a rag in her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta.." she says as she tells me to open up and bite down on the rag. She gets the needle and thread ready and suddenly I feel the stinging in my left arm. I scream, but it is muffled by the rag and now I understand. In and out the needle goes and with each puncture brings a new sensation of pain. I try to keep as still as possible but it hurts too much and it makes the process even longer.

Finally after what seemed like ages Katniss is done. "Okay one more bite to sew up," she sniffs. "I'm sorry.. Just a little longer. Please, I'm sorry Peeta…" She keeps apologizing and I can't say anything due to the rag in my mouth. I would spit it out was it not great for biting down on when she stuck me yet again with the needle. I scream again, but just as before it is muffled. The pain is excruciating and I just want it to be over.

"Finished!" she yells, but I'm too tired and injured to really be happy. Haymitch walks through the door and sees that Katniss is all done with the sewing. "I purposefully waited outside until you were done. That is the nastiest thing, anyone will ever do." Haymitch says. I think I hear Katniss mutter something about being a coward in his general direction, but I can't be sure. I can't really focus on much except the pain in both arms.

Katniss is talking again, "Can you look in his cupboards for anything for pain?" Haymitch leaves and does as she asks. He must have found one of my pill bottles because Katniss is lifting my head and pushing two small rectangles in my mouth and lifting water to my lips. I drink quietly wanting all pain to disappear. "Haymitch, we need to move him, can your stomach handle that?" I hear Haymitch grumble and both arms are being lifted. I feel my body being picked up off of the table and I'm being moved to the couch. They set me down gently, but still my body is in pain. I let another cry squeak out and Katniss is by my side in an instant. I hear her mutter something about Haymitch being a coward once more because I think he just slipped out of the front door.

I take the opportunity of him being gone to speak some words before I'm taken off to sleep by the pain medication. "Why," I clear my throat to let a better sound come out. "Why didn't you just let me die? You have Gale. There is no reason for me to be kept around. Do you want to torture me?" I hear a small cry come from her lips and I know she's struggling to annunciate words.

"No, Peeta I don't have Gale. What you saw today.. That was him trying to hurt both of us. I never wanted him to kiss me, and still don't want that," she sniffs. "Do you hear me? I need you." She has laid her head on my chest again letting the tears fall. She didn't want him to kiss her? She needs me?

My head is spinning and the pain killers are slowly claiming my consciousness. "I love you.." I slur as I drift off into the darkness.

When you find that special someone in life that you realize you can't live without, you do anything you can to protect them. You keep them safe for as long as you can because without them your life would mean nothing. They bring you to each day with a sense of brightness and hope and there is nothing you wouldn't do for them.

xxxxx

Holy angst, Batman! This chapter was really great to write and I hope you enjoyed it. Review and tell me what you think about Katniss and her mom? Also what now that Peeta has said he loves Katniss? What is Katniss going to do when her ride arrives to bring her to see her mother? What will happen..? Hmmmmm ;)