When I wrote this one, I was feeling very... Real. Usually when I write, I get lost in fantasy and lose sight of reality and how things would be if they happened in real life and not in a cartoon, in this case, aimed at children. But there are instances from time-to-time when reality and fantasy kind of merge in my head and whilst playing around with someone else's creation I write things a little bit differently and see them in a different way: how things might turn out if they happened in a place where a happy ending wasn't always guaranteed and you don't know what's going to happen next because you don't always know in real life, you know? So this was... Real. That's how I felt when I wrote this one.

I've gotta be honest here, I always love writing fics where things just seem real. Unless we're talking about Kataang, because I'm stubborn and I love those two together and in my opinion they should always get their happy fairytale ending, damnit. I sound like a child. And I don't care. Those two have yet to get a real fic written by me and I don't know that they ever will, but all other shippings are basically open season for me. Even the ones I like.

You know, I like Zuko and Mai together, I really do, but the thing about them is... They're older. Their relationship is complicated and more grown up than, say, Katara and Aang's relationship, which is cute and fluffy and innocent and sweet. I love Kataang, don't get me wrong, but what they have is different than what Mai and Zuko have. Which I like. But let's not get into all this now. Just enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own TLA or any music mentioned in this fic. I do, however, own copies of said music―most of which I obtained legally, thank you very much―but I do not own the rights to it, nor any of the TLA characters. It's so sad, I know, but until I find a way to fix this terrible position I'm in,―what with not owning some of my favorite things and all―that's just the way it's going to have to be. If you figure out a way to help me change that, you be sure to let me know, m'kay?

Song This Chapter Was Inspired By:

"I Hate This Part," ~The Pussycat Dolls~

Fic:

"Zuko…" She mumbled, her low gaze piercing my very soul and heart. We were sitting at a table just inside a balcony that jutted out of the side of the palace, the sun was just setting and there was a cold breeze blowing through. I was chilled to the bone, not by the wind that couldn't reach us, but by… Us. By her and the look she was giving me, what I knew was coming.

It had been eight years since I'd taken the throne and became the Fire Lord. Eight long, busy, tiring, stressful, productive years. For everything that we'd accomplished in those eight years, there was still so much to do and get done that there was hardly any time to take a break, but Sokka and Katara's grandmother had recently passed away and we all agreed that it was time for everyone to take a short break from rebuilding and spend some time with our loved ones; Katara and Sokka had barely spent any time with their "Gran-Gran," as they called her, before she passed and they felt guilty about that, even though they knew she understood what they were doing for the world and why they couldn't see her as often as they wanted to. They felt guilty about the whole thing, and I couldn't exactly blame them; if something had happened to Mai or Uncle while I was over in the Earth Kingdom and away from Ba Sing Se working on our biggest and latest project―Sokka had dubbed it "Republic City" in our early planning stages and the name had actually stuck―I would have felt terrible and guilty as well. So while I was dreading the trip home, I was also glad for the break from everything, in a way; Mai and I had hardly been spending any time together at all lately and I missed her.

Just not in the way I had eight years ago.

I longed for her back then. I wanted her, I needed her, I loved her and I missed reaffirming that fact, but now… I missed missing her in the way that I used to.

It was hard to say what exactly had happened to us these last few years. I thought that we'd be together forever, that we'd get married and eventually go on to start a family of our own. I would train any of our children that were benders, she would train the non-bending ones, they would all get along, they would love each other, I would make sure we were all happy and that my kids only tried to kill each other on occasion and not every day like Azula and I had been. Aang and Katara would get married and have kids, Sokka and Suki would get married and have kids, Toph would marry someone and have kids, and all our kids would be friends and play together and our world would finally be perfect.

But of course nothing worked out that way.

Aang and Katara had gotten married two years ago, but they had decided to wait a couple of years before they started having kids; with all the work that needed to be done, they wouldn't have had much time to do both, so they decided that waiting would be for the best.

Sokka and Suki had broken up seven years ago,―I never did get a straight answer when I asked who had done the dumping there―then Sokka had started to date Ty Lee a year after that only to break up with her a few months later, and then Sokka and Toph had started dating four years ago only to break up late last year.

Suki was now married to some guy named Kuuya whom she met in Ba Sing Se when visiting Uncle's tea shop six years ago; he was an earth bender and they had had a set of twins and were already expecting another one, so they had certainly been busy these last few years.

Toph had just started dating that Haru guy.

Sokka was, surprisingly, single and focusing on rebuilding instead of girls for a change.

Ty Lee was dating some Ji Kim guy.

And Mai and I were… Drifting apart.

We had been for some time now, I suppose, but what with me hardly ever around, I just hadn't noticed it until I was back in the palace and set to stay there for a few months to spend some time with her.

Things had changed these last few years; I just didn't want to admit it.

All the time that I spent in the Earth Kingdom, she'd spent here in the palace and wandering around the city, trying to entertain herself and drive away her boredom. Every time I left the city, I always asked her to come with me, but she always declined, saying that if she went with me, the only thing that would be expected of her would be silence and obedience, the same thing that was expected of her whenever she was out in public with her parents, and that was so boring. I could see where she was coming from and never pushed her to come with me. When I did come back to the palace for a brief visit, I often spent most, if not all, of my time with her, asking her what she'd been doing and filling her in on what was going on with whatever project I was currently working on. She never told me much, often just shrugged and said, "Being bored. Trying not to be bored. Being bored." She never did grow out of her sullenness and was still prone to boredom and trying to find ways to chase away that feeling, but she did stop hating the world. Just a little bit and I liked to think that I was responsible for that, but I could tell it wasn't me. Not entirely, anyway.

Through the grape-vine, I had found out over the years that she'd been doing things while I was away that she wouldn't tell me about. Things like visiting Azula in the loony-bin―yet another of Sokka's names that had stuck―teaching her little brother to train with stilettos, learning how to fight with a sword from the same guy, evidently, who had taught Sokka, stuff like that. Nothing big, just things she'd neglect to tell me about. Over time, I had started to neglect to tell her about the things I was up to, as well. Not to get back at her or anything, just because telling her everything felt unnatural as time progressed. I would still visit her all the time whenever I was around, but our time together was often awkward and uncomfortable, our conversations curt and dull, our kisses stale and lifeless.

In the back of my mind, I had known for about two or three years that we were going to break up, but whenever the thought would float to the front of my mind, I would deny it, and I would feel a pressure on my chest, like even the thought alone of not being with her anymore could kill me.

It never did, but sometimes it felt like it could, so I just never thought about it.

I denied that we would ever break up and I kept feeding myself the same old tale of marriage and kids, even though I never did propose to her and she never bugged me about it the way some of my advisors and her parents did. I thought she just didn't want to push me and knew that I'd do it in my own time and in my own way―a way that didn't involve shaping the clouds into the words "Will you marry me?" like a certain show-off Avatar had done years ago―but when she said my name the way she just had… It made me wonder if the reason she hadn't pushed me into engagement was because she couldn't picture us spending the rest of our lives together anymore.

And I of course already knew the answer.

When we were teenagers and I had just started out as Fire Lord, we would often sneak away together and have private talks about everything in the world so of course we had talked about marriage and starting a family together one day, and she had said that yes, she could see us spending the rest of our lives together and, in a very un-Mai like statement, had said that she couldn't wait to be my wife, the Fire Lady. But that had been eight years before this dinner. And a lot had changed in those eight years.

When Aang had suggested we all take a break and go and visit our loved ones for a few months, a lump had formed in my throat and a pit started growing in my stomach; I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep… I was dreading this trip home, I was dreading seeing Mai. I couldn't explain it, but I felt like the end was coming. And when I walked into the palace, I could tell that something was off. There was an ominous chill in the air and everything from that point on had just felt foreign and odd.

Mai had come over straight away like she always did, but our greeting was polite and courteous, not happy and full of passion―we didn't even kiss, just said hello and made dinner plans then went our separate ways, I to wash up and her back to her house. The dinner itself had been quiet, full of polite small-talk and courtesy replies, a lot of sighing, and just… awkward. Not comfortable like it should have been, like it used to be.

After we finished eating, a couple of servants cleared the table and brought us some tea made by someone who had trained under Uncle in Ba Sing Se for seven years―so I would be able to have tea that tasted like it was made by Uncle any time I was home―and then left us alone; not even they wanted to be around when the bomb that was about to be dropped went off.

They knew.

I knew.

Mai knew.

This was the part where someone would break the other person's heart.

But would it really break, I wondered, considering our relationship had been dead for years now? I wasn't about to dump her―not after her warning last time I'd broken up with her―so I sat in silence across from her, waiting for her to do it, waiting for her to cut the cord and end us. We both knew it was coming. We were both prepared but still, when she sighed my name yet again after I hadn't said anything the first time, I felt my heart skip a beat and my muscles tighten up, waiting for her to land a blow I wasn't sure would hurt.

Would I cry?

Would my heart shatter?

Would I beg her to reconsider and promise to make more time for her?

Would I propose on the spot to try and get her to stay with me?

Would I confess just how deep my love for her ran and admit that, while I wasn't the perfect boyfriend, I would try harder from now on, put her before all my projects, before the peace and safety of the world? I couldn't lie to her, though. Because no matter how much I loved her―or how much I had loved her at one point―the world had to come first.

It had to.

"Mai." I replied, looking away from the sunset and back to her eyes, which sat beneath the same bob of black bangs they always had. I had found it endearing at one point, I had really loved her hair, but now… I thought she should cut it off and fix her hair in a different manner; she was no longer a child, after all, and should start looking the part. I hated myself more than I'd ever hated anyone in that moment. I had once loved Mai with all my heart but now… Now I was thinking such mean and hateful things about her. I deserved to be dumped. She should have ripped my heart out on the spot and stomped on it, made me feel like the lowest, most despicable being on the planet…

"I still love you, Zuko." She sighed, resting her chin on her long fingers. I swallowed; not what I had been expecting. Maybe I'd read the situation wrong, maybe I was the one who had drifted and left her out in the cold, maybe she still wanted to be with me but could tell I didn't want to be with her. Except I did.

Didn't I?

"But not in the way I used to." I blinked, waiting for her to finish. But she didn't. She just looked at me back, piercing through me and waiting as well. Waiting for me to say something back. Maybe she was hoping I would propose on the spot to try and get her to stay with me, or confess just how deep my love for her ran and admit that, while I wasn't the perfect boyfriend, I would try harder from now on, put her before all my projects, before the peace and safety of the world. Maybe she was hoping for just a glimmer of sadness and regret that I wasn't a better boyfriend to her. Maybe she was just hoping for something to prove I wasn't totally cold-hearted. But maybe I was.

"I still love you, too, Mai." I parroted back, watching her blink the surprise from her eyes before continuing in the same manner that she had. "But not in the way I used to."

And that was it.

Without someone needing to say it, I knew that that was the official end of our relationship. We were done. Maybe we could still be friends someday, but that was all we'd ever be from now on. Friends. I knew that she would still be at Uncle's tea shop on my next birthday and that she would always be the one person who would understand me in her own peculiar way, but that was also what made someone a good friend, not just a girlfriend.

"Alright then." She nodded and sat up straight, pushed her half-cup of tea away from her and stood up. "We're done here." I nodded at her and watched her watch the sun for a moment longer before she started to walk away. It amazed me that I felt almost nothing at the moment, not even a stab of remorse or guilt or sadness. My heart felt like it'd been hit with a fireball, but not shattered or even broken in the least. I guess it had known this was coming long enough to not feel much when it finally did come.

I guess I was more prepared for this than I thought.

Maybe I would feel it later, I thought, when Katara and Aang offered their condolences at the end of our relationship, or when Toph punched me and said, "Better luck next time, Hotman," or when Sokka slung his arm around my shoulders and said, "Women! Am I right?" and tried to crack a joke. Maybe I would feel it when I was around people who would let me feel it and not surrounded by rooms filled with servants and guards who couldn't care less about whom I was dating and how I felt about all of it and advisors who just wanted me to get married to sire an heir. Mai had cared how I felt about all of that once, and maybe if it wasn't her who I'd just gotten dumped by/broken up with―because I wasn't quite sure what the terminology was in this case yet―she would have let me feel it, but since it was her, I felt I had no right to say anything about it until she was gone and back at her house. And maybe not even then.

I turned to finish watching the sun set, I couldn't remember how many sun sets Mai and I had seen together, even though she claimed to hate the color orange, so somehow it all seemed fitting for our relationship to end while watching yet another one.

Just before it faded entirely from view, I heard the sound of something whooshing through the air and heard something clatter inside my tea cup. I reached in and pulled out one of Mai's stilettoes, my tea dripping off the end of it, and looked up to where Mai was standing with a wry smirk on her face, her hand poised from just throwing the stiletto at me. I quirked an eyebrow at her, curious. She shrugged and dropped her hand.

"I had that ready to go. Just in case you tried breaking up with me before I could break up with you." And then she walked off, just as bored as ever. I looked back to the sky and saw the sun had finally dropped out of view, which I was fine with.

The sun had finally set on our relationship, and all I had was a dagger and some memories to remind me that the only real threat to my life was Mai, who lived right across from the palace. It was better this way, I figured, because, if I'd dumped her again, I would have been dead by morning. And who would run the Fire Nation then? I wiped the stiletto off on my rope and tucked it into my sleeve before standing up and walking back to my room. Maybe one day Mai and I could be friends without me having to worry about her wanting to kill me for ruining our relationship and maybe one day I would feel remorse for what I'd done to her, for dragging our relationship out and boring her like I had. And maybe one day she'd find someone who could bring out the best in her like I used to be able to do, with the difference being that they would put her first and wouldn't drift away from her, leave her stranded and bored and feeling as though she were better off hanging around her parents, whom she never felt close to and was never allowed to be herself around.

Maybe one day she would find someone better for her.

I hoped she did; she deserved it.

Whoever they turned out to be, though, they would just have to get used to the idea of the Fire Lord being her ex-boyfriend.

And if that wasn't intimidating, I didn't know what was…

Fin.

I've never written from Zuko's POV before, so this was definitely interesting. And he's older here, so it was especially challenging, but I'm hoping I did pretty well with it, all things considered.

Like I said, I like Zuko and Mai together, I really do, and I like Mai. Some people don't. Some people find her boring and flat and unimportant and blah, but I've always liked her and her remarks, you know? Also, most of the people I've seen hating on her have shipped Zutara―the devil's shipping―so that mai have something to do with it.

Get it?

Mai?

Eh? Eh?

Screw you guys; that's hilarious.

Anyway, I had this whole thing typed out where I defended her honor―not really; all I did was say why she's awesome and why I like her, but it sounds cooler if I say I was "defending her honor", you know?―and I tell you guys why, while I think Maiko is cute and I just love it, I don't think it'd work in the long run, and then I went on the explain that I feel there are two possible out-comes for their relationship if they were to stay together, but I didn't push the save button and then, in the middle of typing a sentence, I don't know what the fuck I did, but somehow or another I wound up hitting the back button which took me away from the doc manager thing and just wiped away everything I'd had typed out. All because I didn't save. Learn from my mistakes, kids; always. Save.

Always.

And now my spirit has been broken and I will not be retyping all of it. Sorry. It was pretty damn good, though. I included the words "Mulan" "Sexist" "History" and "Fire Lady," if you wanna try and fill in the blanks. I also talked about her childhood and Zuko unwittingly making Mai resent him somewhere down the line if he tries, again unwittingly, to make her "conform" for lack of a better word. It was awesome shit, I'm not gonna lie, and I wish you guys could read it. But I didn't. Save. And I will forever hate myself for that fact. Or at least, until I find something better to do with my time, which shouldn't take too long considering how easily I get distracted and, well, bored sometimes.

On another note, I really like the idea of Sokka coining the term "loony-bin," it just has a very Sokka taste to it, you know? Also, the thing I mentioned about Aang proposing by shaping the clouds... That just came to me in the moment and, when I think about it, it's just so damn cute and something Aang would probably do. I plan on writing that one-shot sometime soon and, depending on whether or not I come across a song on my iPod that kind of goes with it or inspires it, I might include it in this collection or on its own, so just be on the look out for that. And all the relationship stuff with like Sokka and Suki and everyone else and who they're dating and all that good stuff, don't read too much into any of that because I didn't put a whole lot of thought into that part; I just made most of it up as I was typing. It's the sort of stuff Zuko might be thinking about in passing and know about, so I figured I better include it. Plus, I'm sure you guys would get to wondering eventually what they were all up to in this time-line, so I put it in there. Aren't I wonderful?

Anyway, be sure to let me know what you think!

Always,
~Hisa-Ai~