A/N: Yeah, baby! Two chapters in two days! I loved writing this chapter – it's what everyone's been waiting for! Again, thanks for your reviews! Hugs and cookies for everyone!

Disclaimer: C'mon, man…

Chapter 8: No Apologies

Hyde couldn't believe it.

She was in New York.

New York.

What the hell?

And Red and Kitty and God knew who else, knew.

And didn't tell him.

He needed answers.

And knew just where to go to get them.

As soon as Fez opened the door, he was met with a friendly fist to the face.

Oh dear, he thought as he looked up from the floor. Looks like someone knows about Jackie.

"You knew. All this fucking time…and you knew…" Hyde was about to explode, so huge and encompassing was his rage and frustration. He was going to pound Fez into the ground, the little backstabbing cocksucker…

Fez, though, had had enough. He was tired of the hypocrisy, tired of the bullshit. Yeah, he freaking knew where Jackie was, and he wasn't going to apologize for it.

Hyde wasn't the only one about to explode.

"That's right I fucking knew! And I'm not going to apologize for it!"

"You-you're not going to apologize? You selfish fucking prick! How could you not tell the rest of us where Jackie was? We're her fucking friends, man!"

Fez burst out laughing.

And it wasn't just a simple chuckle – he was all out laughing. In fact, he was laughing so much, that his eyes were getting teary.

Hyde did not get what was so funny.

"You-you're her fucking friend?" In an instant, Fez' eyes and face went hard. "My goddess hasn't had any real friends since you dropped her for Sam. Everyone's been real friendly towards Jackie in the past year. With her supposed best friend so fricking happy to welcome that whore into the fold, with the guy that she gave up her dream for treating her like she was a worthless piece of shit for the past year. Oh yeah, real friendly, Hyde."

"Why does everyone seem to forget – "

"I swear to God, Hyde, if you even mention the words Chicago and Kelso…"

"She cheated on me, man! She left me first!" Hyde was beyond pissed, frustrated beyond belief that no one could see that Jackie abandoned him first, when he wouldn't give her that shiny fucking brass ring she wanted.

"You've gotta be kidding me, dude. All she wanted was some sort of sign that you saw her in your future, and you were the one who couldn't give her that! She gave up a dream for you, you son of a bitch! She never cheated on you! You were it for her, Hyde. Jackie adored you. And she cheated on you first? You cheated on her with that skanky nurse!"

Crap. Hyde had forgotten about that.

"I thought that she and Kelso…"

"Her and Kelso nothing! I love Michael Kelso as much as the next guy, but Jackie and Kelso are not right for each other! Everyone else seems to know that, except you! If she really wanted to be with Kelso, why did she decline his marriage proposal? Why did she stay with you for so long, huh? Why did she rebuff him every time he made a move on her? Why was she the one that finally convinced him to try to make it work with Brooke? Oh, silly me – it's obviously cuz she's in love with Kelso!"

Hyde stood there, speechless…and scared shitless. Because, underneath the incredibly dark furious brew that was still there bubbling, there was now an underlying flavor that Hyde recognized as truth.

Undeniable, inescapable truth.

Fez sighed, obviously at the end of his tirade. "Listen, Hyde. Jackie asked me not to tell. She made us promise."

Hyde looked down, emotions that he so long denied coming to the surface, almost choking him. "I...didn't…"

Fez let out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah, I know. You didn't know."

As the news of Jackie's whereabouts continued to hit him – at the most inopportune moments, of course – Hyde tried to go back to the life he had before he found out. Circles, beer, chicks, and during the more lucid moments – he might've worked at the store for like an hour or two.

That lasted for about a week…until Kelso showed up to surprise his parents with Betsy.

And then it all exploded.

After Fez' eye-opening conversation, Hyde had chosen to keep his mouth shut regarding Jackie's whereabouts. There was just…too much going on inside of his head, inside of his – dare he say it? - heart.

That fist-sized, beating organ - that he and his friends swore he didn't have – until a tiny brunette in a cheerleader skirt showed it to him.

If Hyde were completely and totally honest – not to mention toasted beyond belief – he could admit to himself that there was more than a grain of truth to Fez' words. He had treated Jackie like shit for the past year – fuck, since Christmas of 78. He had a new father, a new job…and he just didn't know how to handle it. Didn't know how to deal with all of these new things going on in his life, and the direction that his life was taking. He had been forced to grow up so fast so quickly, and just when he thought life was settled, his best friend leaves his fiancé the night before their wedding, he finds out he has a black father….

…and the girl that had inspired in him so much emotion…she wants …a future.

With him.

And maybe there lay the crux of his problem – his inability to see a future for himself, when all he really knew was to take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by precious minute.

But Jackie…she pushed, man. She wanted some sort of confirmation of his devotion – some type of commitment. She just…she didn't know, man. She didn't know what it felt like to live the best part of your life just waiting for the other shoe to drop, just waiting for someone to rip the rug right from underneath you.

C'mon, man, his conscience (and when the FUCK did he get one of those?) scoffed. If there's anything that Jackie knows, is about being scared of being abandoned. She's been abandoned by everybody.

Including you.

It was usually then – when his conscience (which he needed to get rid of at some point to keep his reputation intact) would bombard him with memories of how they were together. How good she felt in his arms when they slept in his cot, how good it felt waking up to her face in the morning. God, he always thought she looked the best in the morning – no makeup, her hair all messy from sleep - she was just fucking beautiful, man. And, God, how she felt in the mornings…

There had to be something about going to sleep and waking with someone you cared about. The caring has to add something to it – because Hyde never felt the same feelings with Sam or with any other chick that he felt when waking up and going to sleep with Jackie. Hyde had always been pretty much a light sleeper, but with Jackie in his arms…man, he slept deeper, fuller. Maybe it had been the smell of her hair, or the mere Jackie warmth that her body provided…it was a feeling that no other woman had given him.

He would always wake up in her arms. Or vice versa. It seemed that sleep would always elude the both of them, unless they were in each other's arms. Jackie had confessed to him once that only when sleeping with him would her body find true rest.

They had both been coming down from a circle, both a little tipsy from the beers they had been drinking, and still oh so very high. But Hyde remembered filling his hands with her hair as she straddled him in the flatbed of the Camino, and looking into her bloodshot, mismatched eyes.

"Yeah," he had whispered. "I know…"

She then proceeded to give him one of the greatest kisses of his life. Deep, intense, passionate – he had never felt more, been inspired to give more, than he had been that night. They had kissed each other with all that they had to give, and he had made love to her then. Trying to show with his body what was so fucking difficult for him to say out loud.

It had been one of the first times in his life in which he truly lost himself in the moment. There was no thought of abandonment, of Kelso, of worrying when he would wake up from this awesome dream. All thoughts were focused on one thing…

Jackie.

She had ridden him with wild and reckless abandon, whimpering "I love you" endlessly into his mouth. With every bump and grind, Hyde felt Jackie give herself over to him, totally and completely. As she tightened around him, he could've sworn feeling her heart bleeding into his hands. Filling up all the empty spaces, all the holes left behind by those that thought that he was worthless.

It was, without a doubt, one of the greatest nights of his life.

So caught up in his thoughts of Jackie, he was almost violently snapped back into reality by Kelso's arrival to the basement with Brooke and Betsy.

As Kelso started to tell them his recent burn on one of his cop friends, Hyde sat back and his chair and looked at him behind his sunglasses, thinking.

Here was the man that he swore Jackie would forever love. The person that he could almost swear would be the guy that she really ended up with, and if not Kelso, someone else.

Better than him.

In all honesty, there was a part of Hyde that always thought that Jackie had been slumming it with him. Even after they found out that he had a rich daddy, Hyde never really believed that Jackie was his completely. Regardless of how many times she told him, how many times she tried to prove it through her actions, he never one hundred percent believed that Jackie was only his, forever.

He always kept waiting for her to walk out.

And in the end, she did.

But he had shoved her through the door, hadn't he?

As Kitty called them upstairs for dinner, Hyde kept quiet, more so than usual. He was caught up in past memories, of Jackie sitting next him, her left hand rubbing enticingly up and down his thigh, her smirk as he would look over with raised eyebrows.

God, he missed her.

"Steven, are you okay? You're barely touching your dinner." Kitty looked at him questioningly.

"Yeah, Hyde – you doing alright there, buddy? You've barely said two words to anyone." Forman asked, digging into his mashed potatoes.

"Kitty, leave the boy alone. If he doesn't want to eat, then it's more for the rest of us," Red stated, face stern.

"Well, Red, we can't let the boy waste away. I mean," Kitty continued, worry on her face. "What with him finding out that Jackie's in New York, I'm sure that - "

"WHAT?" Eric and Donna shouted, the both of them jumping up from their seats.

"Goddamn it, Kitty!" Red thundered.

Kitty looked around the table, and laughed nervously. "Whoops."

It was then that Hyde clued in…that Kelso hadn't said a word.

And he didn't look surprised.

"You fucking knew, didn't you?" Hyde growled, pissed beyond belief at the idea that Kelso had known where Jackie was all along, and hadn't said a word. "All that shit you gave Donna and me in Chicago, you fucking knew where Jackie was the entire time!" Hyde flew up from his chair, itching to beat Kelso into a bloody pulp.

Kelso stood up, face serious and stern. "Yeah, I knew."

"What the hell, Kelso!" Donna exclaimed, indignant fury dripping from every syllable.

It was then that chaos erupted – Eric, Donna, and Hyde arguing with Fez, Kelso and Brooke, no one hearing anything the other side was saying, as it was a chorus of shouts and recriminations.

Then Betsy started to cry.

Which really pissed Red off.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" He shouted.

And effectively shut everyone – including Betsy – up.

"Jesus Christ, you kids are morons. Morons! And for once I'm not talking about the kettlehead and Ali Baba here, I'm talking about you three," pointing to Donna, Eric, and Hyde. "You fucking think you have a right to get pissed at us for knowing where Jackie was and not telling you? I should stick my foot in all three of your asses! You idiots have no fucking clue what you put that girl through this past year! She gave up on an opportunity of a lifetime for you," Red thundered, looking at Hyde, "and what do you do? You fucking come home married to a stripper!"

"Well, to be honest, Dad, they weren't legally married, so-" At Red's murderous glare, Eric shut up quickly, looking around the table to realize that there were equally murdering looks from almost everyone around the table.

"And you!" Red continued, looking at Donna. "You fucking call yourself a feminist? You befriended a woman who takes her clothes off for a living! And for WHAT? Because she had a nice car? And you treated poor Jackie like complete SHIT for the past year!"

"And you," Red continued, glancing in Eric's direction. "You're just a dumbass!"

"Why, thanks, Dad-"

"Shut it, moron," Red threatened. "I cannot believe that you have the balls to stand in my house and have the audacity to be insulted that we didn't tell you where that poor girl was. You put that girl through the worst kind of misery for the past year, and now that she's no longer your punching bag, all of a sudden you're worried about her whereabouts. You didn't give a shit when she would leave this house with tears in her eyes, you were too worried about you're fucking pathetic lives instead of being there for her. I, for one, am not going to apologize for not telling you dumbasses where she was, and I doubt that anyone who knew is going to, either. You broke that poor girl, and you made damn sure that she knew where she stood with you. So don't you dare act like you actually care about that girl, when in reality, you just need someone to take out all your bullshit on."

"Now, either eat your dinner…or get the fuck out of my house."

And with that, dinner continued.

In silence.