Rock Your World

Part 14 – Scared

I was still angry at Gohan. I was mad at him for rejecting me, for insulting me and Vegeta, and for lying and forcing Goten to turn violent. But I was also sad. I loved Gohan; and I'd never been betrayed by someone I cared about before. It had really shaken me that people could really be that cruel.

I flew in through the window of Goten's room and laid the still distraught child in his bed, murmuring soothing things and petting his hair gently as I laid his blanket over him. He looked tired, and I started to leave, to let him sleep, but he grabbed my shirt and all but dragged me back. So I lay down next to him, letting him rest his head on my shoulder. Finally, I was there for him, and I felt like a better father for that.

I don't know how long I lay there; but it was darker outside and it was snowing harder. I was glad I'd closed Goten's window before lying down, it would be a pain to move him so I could get up and close it now. Goten was sleeping soundly now, his little face peaceful in repose. I had all but drifted off myself when a loud bang sounded downstairs; the sound of the front door slamming. I sensed Vegeta's energy. He was irate, that much was certain, but beneath his rage he was a knot of worry and fear. Concerned and alarmed, I laid Goten back down – he'd sat bolt upright at the sound of the door slamming – and eased out of bed, leaving Goten's room and skimming down the stairs lightly; landing cat-like on the floor after the bottom step. Vegeta was standing in the middle of the living room, his pale blonde hair dusted with snow; he was clutching his forehead in his hands and simmering with fury. I was reminded all too much of the moment before he'd turned Majin a seeming eternity ago.

"Vegeta?" I said carefully. He didn't move or even seem to hear me. I advanced toward him, keeping my guard up in case he lashed out suddenly – he'd done it before – and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Vegeta, can you hear me?" Fear coursed through me at the thought of Vegeta being possessed by something. I wouldn't be able to help him if he wouldn't listen.

He exhaled explosively and met my gaze with teal eyes, breathing hard and shaking to the core, his sweat melting the snow in his hair.

"Yes," he panted.

"What happened?"

His tail – golden now – tightened around my wrist, holding my hand still on his shoulder as if afraid to let it go.

"I… I went to the woman's house…"

"To get a Capsule house for us, you said," I nodded, but the prince wasn't done.

"And…. he… T-Trunks, he was…was there…" he seemed to be having a hard time speaking, reining in his lingering anger.

It all made sense now.

"Oh," I murmured, " Did he - ?"

"He…" Vegeta gulped air before continuing, leaning into my arms as I guided him to the sofa, sitting down with his head on my shoulder – like Goten's had been a moment ago.

"Did he insult you… us?" I prompted.

Vegeta nodded against my neck, still shivering and sweating. I ran a hand through his hair – dark now, he'd let go of Super Saiyan – and listened as the prince told his tale.

"I was feeling calm… happy, even, when I arrived at the woman's place. I hated the snow, but I was feeling especially pleased with myself because I was going to get a place for us to live; we were going to start a life together…" I didn't rush Vegeta as he spoke, his voice was steadier now, but he was still shaking a little, "The woman and I talked for a while, mostly about nothing; how strange the weather was, whether you or I was a better kisser – her idea, not mine – things like that. Then he… Trunks… came home from school and…" he paused and took a deep breath, "… and the first words out of his mouth were 'oh look, the fag's here,'" The prince started shivering again and I held him closer, waiting for him to continue.

"I started to tell him off – saying basically what your little son did; that just because you and I were together didn't make us gay – but he wasn't finished. He went on to say that he'd spoken with friends of yours; the once-bald one and Scar-face,"

"Krillin and Yamcha?" I asked for clarification, he nodded mutely before plunging on.

"And he said they thought the same thing, that you and I were nothing but – and I quote – 'a pair of goddamn queers'… the woman was shouting something, telling Trunks to wash his mouth out or something, but I didn't hear her. Trunks was still spewing hateful comments and suddenly I couldn't think straight. I wanted…. I wanted to kill something…."

Something hot and wet landed on my shoulder. It took me a moment to realize the prince was crying silently.

"He…. he called you worthless, Kakarot, did you know that? He said… worse things, but that really stood out to me…"

He didn't seem to be able to continue; he just sobbed brokenly into my shoulder for measureless time. I thought distantly that this was the second broken, sobbing person to be hurt by this mess; and the second to cry unrestrained on my shoulder while I tried desperately to comfort them.

Finally the prince's tears dried and he sat straight, hiccupping slightly. I felt something break inside; the proud Prince of All Saiyans had been reduced to this terrified, anguished creature before me. I still didn't understand why he was so scared. And there were still some things that were unclear to me…

"Then what happened? How come you were gone so long? You didn't come back until long after sunset…"

"I…I'd never been closer to m-murdering someone than I was right then. The woman must have seen the look in my eye; and… she g-got this expression on her face. Hopeless, that's what it was. She knew she wouldn't be…. able t-to stop me,"

Realization slapped me in the face, along with a chill of dread.

"Vegeta… you… you didn't!"

"No," Vegeta said hurriedly, "I didn't kill anyone… but I… I wanted to…"

"So, then…?"

"I fled," Vegeta murmured, "I was s-scared, afraid I would give in to the urge to kill… I blasted right out the woman's window. I think I might've hurt them with the flying shrapnel… but at least I didn't…. I didn't…"

"What did you do?" I clasped the prince's smaller hands in my own and met his darting eyes.

"I flew out over the ocean and… I blew things up. I destroyed everything around me for miles…. I don't think anyone got hurt, but I caused so much… chaos… I didn't feel like… myself…."

I reminded myself that this was the same prince who'd blown up planets and killed in cold blood shamelessly years ago. So much had changed since then.

"And then I realized what I did…. I got scared…. I still wanted to rip someone's throat out…. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to control myself…. So I went to the one person that could ever control me… the one person that was strong enough to… to stop me if I…"

"Me," I nodded. Vegeta inclined his head assent.

"And then I got here… and I realized that you…" he stopped and just stared at me, as if afraid I'd get angry or something if he went on, I encouraged him by squeezing his hands in mine, "…that you weren't safe… you wouldn't know to keep up your guard if I… you can be so careless… I was afraid I'd…."

"You were afraid you'd hurt me," I understood now. Vegeta had such a hard time fighting down his Saiyan instinct; to kill when things upset him…. He was terrified of unleashing that violence on people he cared about, "You're not a monster, Vegeta; you're a person. You can stop yourself if you try hard enough… you did today…."

"But – "

We were interrupted by the sound of soft, hurried footsteps on the stairs above. Then Goten appeared, glancing around before stopping in the middle of the room and looking at Vegeta and me with something very like concern.

"I stayed upstairs until I felt Vegeta's energy stabilize," he explained, "Are you guys okay?"

Vegeta and I looked at him, then at each other, then back. At last I broke the silence.

"Geez, Goten, for all you know we could've been making out," I smirked.

Goten snickered, "I wouldn't mind,"

Vegeta started to say something, flustered, but Goten added,

"I like to make His Highness blush,"

And, right on cue, Vegeta did just that; turning a deep shade of scarlet as he stammered and grumbled and struggled to maintain his last scraps of dignity.

I laughed with Goten, an almost identical sound and motion, for a few minutes; then Vegeta smirked and joined in, adding his own high, clear laugh to the mix.

TBC