A/N: Steve's friend is just an OC; don't freak out trying to figure out who he is. Also, there will be more interactive and past Steve/Tony next chapter. TW for mentions of PTSD. Contains spoilers. A lot of spoilers.

Steve was entirely unsurprised when he opened his email, which Tony taught him how to use, and found a memo from SHIELD about his latest mission. He'd been waiting for such a message to come, waiting for the chance to get back into action. Since he and Tony had come back he'd been trying to stay on the down-low, making sure he could get his emotions in check and be the soldier he needed to be when the time came for a real fight. Apparently, that time had come.

He skimmed over the email, just picking up the important bits. His eyes froze when he saw the word Tesseract. They had the Tesseract? Or rather they'd had the Tesseract? Before some god- the word god had so many meanings now- had stolen it. The same god who had demolished an entire town now had the greatest power source earth had ever seen. He shook his head, amazed at how little humans had progressed morally in all the years he'd been asleep. They really should've left him and that whole damn ship in the ocean.

He called up one of his friends from SHIELD, one of the guys who helped him get reacquainted with everything after he woke up.

"Steve, my man, what's up?" The informality of how people talked on the phone was still a mystery to Steve. Of course, growing up, Steve hadn't had a lot of people to talk to on the phone, and after the serum it was usually politicians and doctors and whatnot that wanted to hear from him.

"Hey, Dan. Listen, have you been debriefed about-?"

"Yeah, totally. The new thing. I was actually there when it- when it happened."

"Are you okay?" Steve was quick to ask. He hadn't always known Dan to have necessary caution in the face of danger, and looking at the pictures taken from helicopters made it clear that whatever was left of the secret facility was a disaster zone. Yet another example of the trouble that follows the Tesseract, Steve thought.

"Broken arm, so I won't make it to the second part of the mission. Hopefully I'll be cleared for duty in a few months; I'm a desk jockey until then. Otherwise I'm fine."

"You've really got to watch where you step." A rugged chuckle came down the line.

"Yeah, okay. What did you want to know?"

"Is this Loki as much a threat as he's made out to be?"

"He's worse." Steve's stomach dropped. "Your shield should be good against some of his stuff, but you can't let him touch you with his staff and- Well, you're going to be debriefed on all of this soon."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dan sounded rushed and oddly nervous, like he was on edge.

"Yeah, I told you, I'm fine. But this might not be a secure connection, and Fury will definitely get pissed if-"

"Oh, I get it. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye, Steve."

Steve was a little ticked off when Fury picked him up the next night, partially because of the mission and partially because he was only on his third punching bag. He couldn't get a full workout in without at least six or seven, and he was already feeling a little high strung. It sounded so stupid in his head and he couldn't very well tell the director of SHIELD to go away so he could finish his workout, but he wished he could.

He also wished he could ask Loki for a little more time, a few more weeks to himself so he could train and be alone. Obviously talking to the god was not an option, and if he was close enough to do so it probably meant he was going to die in about two seconds. Nonetheless, his inability to communicate with the troublemaker didn't change the fact that he didn't want to go back to SHIELD, didn't want to have anything to do with the army because it felt so foreign. He hated that feeling because he knew it should feel like home, but it didn't anymore. Nowhere had really felt like home since he'd woken up, except with Tony, but that was obviously a fluke, something he wished he could forget as soon as possible.

He spent half a second wishing he was Agent Barton, and wanted to slap himself for the thought another half second later. While it would be nice to not be himself for a little while, there's no way it would be worth it in the end. He tried not to think about how much innocent blood Barton was probably spilling without even realizing it.

To sum it up, he really didn't want to deal with the assignment; he'd gotten rid of the Tesseract once, buried himself with it in the hopes that it would never, ever be found, and there it was again. No one really understood how much damage it could do; no one alive on earth- besides maybe Loki- had really seen its power.

So when he tells Fury that they should've left it in the ocean, he's not kidding. He doesn't want to help but he knows he has to. Since the first day he tried to enlist in the army, he's known the pull to the fight. He knows he can win, no matter who or what it takes. He left everything behind once, and while he doesn't want to do it again, he's prepared for the idea that he might have to.

When Coulson visited Tony it made him… annoyed, to say the least. And antsy. He hadn't realized that Pepper had given SHIELD (or anyone) an override code to his security system and hypothesizes why she did so. He concluded that it was probably because she knew that when she wasn't there he didn't even notice the doorbell ringing or Jarvis saying he had a call. He gets really into his work, okay?

He's irritated firstly because he and Pepper had just set up an amazing new energy source, and she's going to get all the love for it while he's fighting whomever as Iron Man. Sometimes he's jealous that she doesn't have an alter ego. The rest of the time he's glad that he doesn't have to put up with another superhero, even though that's definitely not what he considers himself. He's more of a non-profit helper who happens to save the day every once in a while. Minus the whole 'non-profit' thing, because Iron Man boosted the number of investors more than Tony Stark ever had in his whole life.

The second reason Coulson's call bothers him is because he was rejected from the Avengers and after everything with Steve he was relatively sure that was a permanent decision. He's gotten used to being called narcissist, he's even proud of the title because it shows how well he's constructed his public image, but he's never quite gotten over being rejected. It wasn't like Tony wanted in that badly, but he couldn't believe they didn't like him. He forced himself not to think of what his father would say. His father, who worked with Steve and built up Stark Industries to its greatest point. Tony doesn't dwell on the past.

But more than all of that he didn't want to go back and fight, he wanted to stay there and rebuild his company and live in an awesome skyscraper with Pepper. He didn't want things to get all complicated again. Things never really stopped being complicated with Tony, but at some point in his life he got used to it, to a certain point. Being the son of a technology tycoon and later becoming one himself had left him little time to live a simple life. But overcomplicating was not what he wanted, and Tony was used to getting what he wanted, even if he ended up getting bored after five minutes and changing his mind.

So Tony played his little game, saying things like His first name is Agent in the hopes that if he grated on Coulson's nerves enough, the guy would just give up. But he didn't, he just said his bit and left Tony with a ton of homework and no one to help him through it. He may be a genius, but that doesn't mean he couldn't get distracted when there were much better things he could be doing. For the good of the earth, he reminded himself before sliding his tablet to the next page.

The promise Pepper whispered in his ear before she left sounded lovely, but Tony hates having to wait for it. He despises waiting, which is why everything he built after his time in the desert was made either to protect or to make other things or processes move faster. On top of that, it was also pretty unclear how long the 'mission' was going to take, so he really had no clue when the next time he would see Pepper would be. Instead of thinking about her leaving with Coulson and getting on a jet to DC, he focused on his homework. He stayed up all night, forcing caffeine down his throat and reading about thermonuclear astrophysics.

Fighting alongside Tony is the same as it's ever been, Steve realized once they'd gotten Loki secured in the jet and Thor on their side. Taking down Loki was nothing, it's true, but it was enough to get them back into cadence with each other. Even though they didn't get a chance to fight in the real world, their real world, Steve reminds himself, because what happened in the other dimension had most certainly been real, the months spent in the alternate dimension were enough.

The ride back to the airship is quiet and Steve wonders if Tony is thinking about the same things he is.

At first it kind of scared Steve that not only did Captain America and Iron Man have a fighting technique they could fall back on together, but he and Tony Stark did too. They were usually fighting each other, but there was a tempo to it that was so buried in Steve's mind that it didn't come out at first. He reverted back to when he was scrawny and words were his only way to defend himself. He took punches without throwing anything back out, defending himself instead of looking to injure.

Eventually, though, they got it back and continued to banter like they'd never stopped. Something was off though, and it only took Steve about half an hour in Tony's presence to figure out what it was. While Tony was definitely not ignoring him, he wasn't acting like he was before, either. Even after they'd gotten divorced, he didn't act like he was on the airship. After their separation he was very, very distant, only showing up to alternate SHIELD when he was absolutely needed, but he was there and he acknowledged his past with Steve if it was brought up.

In real time and space, Tony stubbornly acted like he'd never met Steve before and the soldier found himself having the same conversations they'd had in the past. Like when Tony said What's your thing? Pilates? and Steve just said What? because Tony was the one to take him to his first yoga class ever.

Time passed strangely on the airship, and what was even stranger was the amount of time Steve became conscious of spending with Tony. When he wasn't in the gym or on the bridge he found himself gravitating towards the lab. Everyone always seemed to congregate there and it was the main source of information, the first place that would know if anything happened.

No one on the team called them out or tried to talk about the past if it wasn't a natural part of conversation. Romanov had her own secrets, possibly more deep and dark than his or Tony's. Banner was quiet, and he and Tony had some sort of smart-guy allegiance containing ridiculous amounts of respect. Steve doubted that he knew about the two of them anyways; he'd been off grid for a while before SHIELD had decided they needed the doctor. Thor was completely oblivious, and even Loki hadn't picked up on them. Maybe it was the not-so-subtle hate vibes that seemed to roll off Tony in buckets.

Fury definitely knew, Steve could tell from the moment the director saw him and Tony on the bridge together. He said nothing, obviously not wanting to create even more chasms between the Avengers.

Steve caught himself thinking about it- it being the past- too much, so part of his search for the answers to 'Phase 2' ended up being the desire to get away from Tony. When he'd rather be shaking Tony, asking him why he was acting like such an asshole- and Steve tries not to swear as a general rule- he forced the door to the supposedly secure storage area open instead. He worried for a second, because if he could get in, Thor could probably get in, and he and Loki are both gods (man Steve hates that word), right? So Loki could probably jump ship if he wanted to. He cleared his head and moved on, reminding himself that it was not his problem to deal with.

When he reached the crates, his stomach dropped. There were way too many for it to just be an experiment. All the boxes were clearly labeled 'Phase 2' and were ridiculously easy to open. Steve cracked one and three guns fell out, all looking like they would need the Tesseract's power to work.

At that thought Steve slid down the wall, letting his head fall into his hands. He tried not to think about the last time he saw a weapon powered by the Tesseract and, of course, failed. I can't let this happen again, he thought, especially not if I can stop it. I know better what's going on this time. He contemplated destroying the weapons himself, it would take time and Fury would know it was him but he couldn't risk them being deployed before he could warn everyone of their threat. None of them could possibly understand the damage capable with these weapons, or they wouldn't have made them in the first place.

He allowed himself a moment to mourn. He'd refused to do it when he'd first woken up because no matter what, it would've been publicized. There would've been headlines like Captain America Flies Across Country to Say Last Goodbye to Old Flame and United States' Greatest Hero Visits Tomb of the Unknowns and it would've been way, way too much. Every one of his thoughts had been monitored, every step, every breath, every single word his tongue formed. So he'd shoved it down.

When Loki had sent him and Tony flying off to who-knows-where, Steve had still been in the spotlight, had barely had any time to adjust. Tony knew the story but, being Tony, didn't try to get him to open up, so he stayed sealed shut. It wasn't that they didn't talk, it was just that they didn't talk about difficult stuff pertaining to the past. Tony didn't like to talk about his childhood and Steve didn't like to talk about most of his life up to when he'd woken up 70 years later and not a day older. It worked, more or less.

Steve wasted a minute wondering how he'd managed to not think about most of it at all. Maybe it was because he'd been too busy, or maybe it was some screwed up form of PTSD; he'd have to talk to one of the psych people once the mission was over. Either way some part of him had never allowed his mind to go there, to think past the good memories of Bucky saving him from the bullies when they were kids and Colonel Phillips' silent approval and Peggy's gorgeous smile; all red lips and no teeth, just a quirk of her mouth.

He didn't have much time to grieve; he had to get back to the lab, had to tell Banner and Tony to turn off their probing equipment because he'd figured it out. He didn't know if he'd ever have the time, if he'd ever want it. Sometimes it was nice to pretend that his past didn't exist in the same way everyone else's did. In a way, it already didn't. Most people, most humans, he reminded himself, who were alive in the 21st century couldn't recount exactly what Brooklyn looked like before the second World War. His thoughts didn't really feel like mourning, but it was still was better than what he'd had up to that point, which was nothing. It was nice to have a few minutes just to think and remember.

Steve took one last deep breath before he gingerly picked up one of the guns and made his way out of the warehouse. When he got to the door he tried to fix it so it looked like no one had broken in but settled for flattening it out and shoving it back into place. Someone would see and fix it.

When he got back to the lab it was just Banner and Tony at first, but everyone ended up joining in, almost in a circle, fighting when it was really important that they all remain calm. Steve let himself get angry with Tony, finally, and then he was yelling.

"Put on the suit. Let's have it out." And he was completely serious. He wanted Tony to put on his big suit of armor and come right at him, everything unsaid between them laid out on the battlefield. He was ready for it, he could take a little guy in a hunk of metal. He was Captain America.

Everyone was goading each other, getting under each other's skin in a way that only people who aren't meant to spend so much time together can. Steve felt everything bubbling up under the surface of his ever-calm façade as he told Tony a second time to get suited up. Tony was never one to let go of a challenge, and Steve could tell that this would be no different.

But then everything went to shit.