After Broken Steel

"Ahh...this is relaxation", Jim Williams Jr., a.k.a. The Lone Wanderer said, in utter bliss.

"You are one freaky smooth-skin, ya know that?", Gob said, taking a break from running his saloon to grab a bite with Jim at the Brass Lantern. "You are just sitting down, drinkin' a Nuka, and your acting like your at a sauna".

"Yeah," the Wanderer replied, "but you got no idea how long it has been since I could just sit down, relax, not have to worry about getting my head blown off by a Super Mutant's missile, or getting eaten by a Deathclaw, or getting brutally disfigured by some psychopath Raider."

"Ehh...being disfigured ain't too bad", Gob said in his gravely voice, "people don't tend to fuck with ya that's for sure, just look at those Super Muties...err no offense, Fawkes".

"None taken", the Meta Human genius responded as he sipped his tea, "I agree, disfigurement has its benefits, builds character".

"Well I don't know what da fuck you guys are talkin' about. I'm fucking GEORGEOUS!", Butch DeLoria said.

"Whatever you say, hairdresser", Gob replied sarcastically.

"I'M A FUCKING BARBER!".

While they were all laughing hysterically, well, all of them except Butch, a group of teenage Vault 101 girls out for shopping walked up to the unusual mens' booth. "Umm...Excuse me", the blonde one in the center of the trio of girls said, "are you guys the Tunnel Snakes?!".

"We sure as shit are, babe!", Butch enthusiastically replied. "What can we do for you fine ladies?".

"Can we..ummm", the blonde said giggling, "can we have your autographs please?"

"Uhh...sure", the Wanderer said, somewhat half heartedly as he toke out his pen. After a round of autographs, forced smiles, and bad pick up lines from Butch, which, somehow, seemed to be getting positive results, the girls left the Lantern, and Butch with them, his arms slung over their shoulders.

"Jesus, I don't know how he convinced us to go along with that retarded ass name. Tunnel Snakes. Tunnel Snake sounds like a nick name for your dick", Jim said.

"Well, we were very drunk. And he refused anything else when we tried to talk him out of it", Fawkes replied tiredly. Over the years, the mutant had developed an increasingly sophisticate demeanor, along with a British accent.

"Yeah...", Jim said, "I remember. We were too hung over to argue and went along with it".

"An action I regret to this very day", Fawkes sighed.

"Say what ya want about Butch and his vast stupidity, but he is getting some right now and we ain't.", Gob said, "You know smooth-skin, I don't know why you don't take advantage of some of the groupies that fawn over you guys. I'm with Nova, and gruesome here would crush 'em in the sack, but what is your excuse?"

"Well for one, Gob", Jim retorted, "they are all 16, and secondly, I'm just not all that comfortable with taking advantage of them like that".

"Ehh..I guess you gotta point", Gob said as he brushed the mirelurk cake crumbs of his pre war business suit, "I better get back to the saloon before Billy starts hitting on Nova again. The girl can take care of herself, but that guy is a persistent bastard."

"See ya Gob", Wanderer and Fawkes said as the Ghoul walked out.

"I should track down Butch, we have to be at the Citadel at 8:00 on Sunday to take your place", Fawkes said as he also got up.

"Alright man, talk to you later", Jim sighed as he took out some caps for the bill.

"Thank you sir", Leo Stahl said as he accepted the payment.

"No prob Leo, how's the addiction coming along?".

"Err...I'm good. Doc Church has been a real help", Leo worrisomely whispered.

"Great, bye", Jim said as he left the restaurant, eager to get home and get some sleep. He briskly walked home, saying hello to the various settlers who had become accustomed to his comings and goings.

"Ahh welcome back to Megaton Mr. Williams, sir", Moriarty said. "Any chance you could do me a favor while you are in ?" The grizzled Irishman had been released from Megaton prison by Sheriff Simms a few months before. Apparently he wasn't seen as a threat to anyone. With his bar having been taken over by Gob and refusing to do any manual labor to earn his keep, the penniless Moriarty became the town bum.

"Ugh...hi, Moriarty", Jim exasperatedly replied, "what do you want?"

"Any chance you can spare some caps for a poor old man", Colin said in a very fake sounding sad voice.

"Ugh..I guess so. You are banned from buying any weapons, so I guess there is no chance of you trying to shoot up Gob".

"Thank you, sonny boy", Moriarty said in a grumpy voice.

After that awkward encounter, the Lone Wanderer quickly scaled the steps to his home.

"Welcome back, sir! Was your outing enjoyable ?", his robo-butler Wadsworth said as Jim walked in.

"Uhh...yeah, Wads. It was. I think I'm gonna crash. I'm heading to Rivet City tomorrow and it is a long ways away", Jim said hastily, wanting to get to bed ASAP.

"All right. Good night, sir."

"G'night, Wads". Jim ran upstairs and fell into his lumpy single bed, causing his floor to creak from the strain. "Ahhhhh...vacation", the Wanderer said contently, as he drifted comfortably into sleep.