A/N: This idea hit me as a dream. lol. Before reading Mass Effect Wiki on the Space hamster, I couldn't find him in ME3 after I bought him in ME2. Enjoy!

"Meow." A fluffy tail wagged under Anastasia's nose. "Meow!" Her nose itched and she didn't feel like moving her arms, so she wrinkled her nose. Or at least attempted too. Soon, her cat, Sir Pounce-A-Lot, was now resting on her stomach purring. Loudly.

"Morning to you too, Pounce." Ana said stretching, and petting her orange tabby. "Let's go start the day." Pounce-A-Lot jumped off and meowed again. "Yes, yes. I know you want food."

Shepard cracked opened the cats food and placed it in a small plate set on the coffee table. Then she took hamster food to her space hamster, named Mr. James Tiberious Kirk, or JTK. Depending on her mood. "Okay Mr. Kirk. Time for-"

The hamster's cage was empty.

"Mr. Kirk? James? Captain?" Shepard said to herself turning her cabin upside down. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

Not caring that she was only in underwear and a N7 tee shirt, she headed towards the CIC room.

"Traynor!" She yelled as the elevator opened.

"Yes Com-" Traynor said turning around. Her eyes widened. "C-commander!"

"Have you seen Mr. Kirk?"

"Who?"

"Captian James T. Kirk! My hamster! Ugh! Forget it!" She ran towards the cockpit. "Joker!"

His chair spun around. "Yes... Commander? Whoa..."

"Have you seen Kirk?"

"Your pet space hamster?"

"Yes!" A little hope sparked.

"Nope. Sorry haven't seen him." If she could without killing her best pilot, she would grab Joker by his shoulders and shake him until he's unconscious... It took all her strength to fight the urge of killing him.

"Seen who?" Garrus said folding his arms as he walked in. His mandibles flared.

"JAMES TIBERIOUS KIRK!" Ana said flailing her arms.

"Who?" Garrus said again, completely confused.

"Her pet space hamster," Joker answered. "Hey, maybe Garrus at him. Cause you know he looks like a meat eating chicken. If chickens ate meat that is."

"I didn't eat her hamster. I didn't even know that the commander had a pet hamster. A cat yes. A hamster no. And I'm not a chicken... What's a chicken?"

Before Joker could respond, Shepard cut in. She placed her firm hands on Garrus's shoulders, and then violently began shaking him.

"WHO CARES WHAT A CHICKEN IS! MY POOR BABY IS MISSING!"

"Commander, aren't you taking this a little too far? I mean you can always buy another one when we're at the Citadel. You know once it's all cleaned up from the dead bodies and what not. Or you can buy one from Earth...if you know the pet stores still exist." Joker said.

"I can't replace Captain James! He's... He's... Captain James!" Shepard was on the verge of tears.

Garrus and Joker both noticed this. "It's okay Shepard! We will look for him okay? Why don't you ask Traynor to help." Joker asked getting up from his seat, and gently patted her shoulder, so he doesn't hurt her feelings and so he doesn't kill himself.

"O-okay."

"And maybe ask her for a box of tissues..."

When the door closed as she left, Garrus asked. "Why she name her hamster Captain James Tiberious Kirk?"

Joker didn't bother to answer, he just sat back down to message Kaiden Alenko about the Commander.

Down in Engineering.

"Commander. This is a big ship, and your hamster is wee tiny little thing. He could be anywhere." Engineer Donnely said with his accent.

"I don't care! No one sleeps until Captain James is found! That's an order!" Anastasia said, well more like ordered, as she crawled on the cold engineering floor with a piece of cheese in her hand. "Donnely! Focus!" She said after feeling his eyes on her ass. She didn't change.

"Y-yes ma'am."

"Pig." Daniels said elbowing Donnely in the stomach.

"Can't help it," he mumbled. "It's not like every day I get to see Shepard in... that."

"True, but I can still kick your ass in skillean poker. So keep your eyes to yourself Engineer Donnely."

"Yes ma'am!" He saluted. To her ass... Daniels rolled her eyes.

"Commander, it's just a hamster. I'm sure you can buy a new one." Vega said getting up from the floor.

On the floor, she shot him a look, a death look. "No, Lieutenant. I can not buy another hamster to replace Captain Kirk. It's like replacing William Shatner with someone else as Kirk!"

"Ana." There was only one man who was allowed to call her by her first name, or nickname. And that was Kaiden Alenko. Her boyfriend. Her lover. Her man.

"Don't you dare tell me to get another hamster..." She mumbled.

"I'm not." He helped her off the floor. "EDI has something for you."

"If it's not James T. Kirk, I don't want it." She said folding her arms and pouting like a child.

"Trust me, you'll want it." Behind Alenko EDI stepped forward with her hands in a cup form, she was holding something. Something special. Something small, and fluffy.

"Squee?" a small voice in EDI's hands called out. Shepard's eyes widened. The little creature, known as Captain James T. Kirk popped his head up from EDI's hands, and tilted his little brown head. "Squee?"

"JAMES!" Shepard said cupping her hands as EDI handed her the hamster. "Oh, my little baby! Where have you been? Mommy was looking every where for you!"

"I found him in the crew quarters. Apparently he escaped from his cage and managed to get down there. A crew member had found him. He's been meaning to ask you if it was yours, but he's be delayed."

"By what?"

"He did not say."

"Oh. Well... at least I have my James Kirk back!"

"Yay! Can you cook it for supper now?" Joker said over the intercom. Everyone, including EDI took a few steps away from their commanding officer.

Shepard gently handed her not now lost hamster to Alenko before entering the elevator to CIC.

"Shit. She's coming up here isn't she?"

"Yes."

"Squee?"

A/N: I tried to be humerus. I really did. I'm trying to shy away from my drama and romance stories. :/ Reviews please? Maybe you'll get a cookie if you review! :3