Hate is all I know

A Twilight Saga fan fiction

By NERRD-VampireLoverXxx

Disclaimer:

Stephanie Meyer owns all rights to the characters use in this story.

I own none of these.

It will all be in BPOV

Chapter 5- My story

I slept restlessly that night, Edward Cullen featuring in all my dreams. I woke up at half past 10 the next morning, the latest I had ever slept in since that day. I shuddered and quickly stopped that train of thought; I never wanted to go back to that day...

I was pulled out of my thoughts when my mobile started ringing shrilly from my bag, I hadn't taken it out of my bag from last night.

"Hello?" I said too tired and confused to say anything else.

"Oh I was really looking forward to the formal reply," Edward chuckled I heard my own intake of breath at the sound. On the other end of the phone was the reason I was tired, Edward bloody Cullen.

"I couldn't be bothered, I'm just so tired!" I yawned and though about going back to bed after finishing my conversation with Edward, but that seemed really lazy.

"Sorry did I wake you up?" He sounded concerned and very sorry, I was beginning to think he had changed but then he would always come out with a comment which would remind me of his old ways and then I though he hadn't changed. In other words my feelings at the moment were super confused at the moment and I couldn't wait until I was in control again.

"No I've been awake for a while now, so why are you calling?"

"Well we arranged yesterday that I wanted to take you out again properly without alcohol to get to know you better and after I irritated you at the ball yesterday and made you leave. I thought you might not call me and I wanted to apologise with what I said, so I'm really sorry about that and I know I made you uncomfortable with my comment. I wasn't thinking and it was really stupid of me so I'm sorry." Edward finished sounding out of breath but very sincere, I instantly forgave him and realised something he actually cared for me and by the sound of it hated the thought of making me uncomfortable.

"It's okay Edward I forgive you for everything," I told him laying back on my bed, it was too exhausting to try and hate Edward when I knew I had feelings for him. It didn't mean I was going to let my walls down though; he still had the biggest challenge of his life in me.

"You forgive me for everything?" He sounded shocked and very surprised, I felt myself blush when I realised that maybe I had been a little bit too mean to him if he thought I was very unforgiving.

"Yeah I think I realised last night when I got home that I had got you really wrong; that when you said things like that you weren't trying to be a jerk you were just trying to say something funny to make me laugh. So I'm sorry too and believe me you should be honoured I don't say that very often- oh wait that came out wrong what I mean is ..."

"I know what you mean Isabella don't worry and I forgive you, I think I may have read you wrong as well. What do you say we try a new start? Obliterate our old impressions of each other and just get to know each other slowly and form new correct impressions. So what do you think?"

"Sure, it may take some time, I'm not very trusting, but I'm willing to give it a try." I would try very hard to forget about what I had heard, what I had read and what I had discovered.

"So can we start with a date tomorrow night say?" Edward sounded really nervous but hadn't I just agreed to give it a try?

"Sure, what time? What should I wear? Is it formal or informal dress?" I questioned him and I heard him sigh it relief and then laugh, they sound was music to my ears.

"God it's worse than the inquisition, in answer to your question I'll pick you up at 7:30, just wear a nice dress with heels and you'll be fine. So I'll see you at 7:30pm?"

"Won't you tell me what we're doing?" I pressed; I hated surprises they were never usually up to scratch compared with what I imagine.

"No it's a surprise, see you later Isabella."

"Bye Edward see you at half 7." I put the phone down after he said goodbye and ran downstairs and loaded up my laptop, I then proceeded to delete the document which I had written down all of my feelings on. I did not want Edward to see or read that, I then rushed back up stairs and started going through my enormous wardrobe trying to find a dress which would impress Edward better than the dresses I had worn before to tempt him. I spent three hours trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight, before deciding on a deep purple wrap around dress with white shoes and accessories. It was a big contrast to my skin, I looked at the clock and saw that it was 2:30, and I decided that since I had missed lunch and breakfast I would have a sandwich before deciding what I was going to do with my hair.

Just before I was going to go back upstairs my mobile rang and the caller ID told me it was my dad, I answered and flopped down on the sofa picking up a magazine to flick through while he talked.

"Hello Dad, how are you?"

"Hi Isabella I'm good actually I'm more than good." I heard him gulp and I threw the magazine on the table and frowned, my dad only gulped when he was nervous or scared.

"Dad...why are you gulping? What have you done that will either make me angry or shocked?" I got to the point before he could wimp out and just talk about rubbish that I didn't really want to know.

"You really are too perceptive Isabella, sometimes I think you can read my mind but I can assure you that what I'm about to tell you will not make you angry... at least I don't think it will." He sounded even more nervous now; I just waited silently and patiently waiting for him to tell me.

"Well you know Leah Clearwater?"

"Yeah her dad Harry died when she was five, what about her?" I was confused now, maybe she had started going out with Jacob, well good luck with that Leah you'll need it.

"Well her mum Sue, me and her are kind of getting married in three weeks." He rattled off quickly, I was left dumbstruck at the other end of the line; I didn't even know dad was getting back on to the dating market since mum died. I remembered Sue she was a kind woman but I wished I could say the same for her daughter who was a cow to me every single time we had met when we were little, her little brother Seth was sweet but that didn't matter since I was never going to see them again. Except I was and in 5 months too... at least I would get to see my dad again before coming back out here and not seeing him for another five years.

"Oh right, when did you both start going out?" I had to find out all of the facts.

"Last year in April," he sounded ashamed, I understood why because he hadn't told me he was seeing anyone.

"That's definitely a long time I thought you were going to say something like two months ago or something short like that but wow that is a shock."

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I didn't know if it was going to last and I didn't want to burden you with worry about me and my love life when you have your own life to worry about now." He apologised, it seemed I was getting a lot of apologies today, first Edward now my dad it was making me feel really guilty.

"No it's alright dad so when did you propose to her?" I had to get all of the gossip and info out of my dad, I knew in the next two months I would get a lot of phone calls and text messages from my dad asking my opinions and help on all things wedding.

"Last week, I was going to call you but then I remembered that you had that charity ball and that you were in the middle of advertising your new fashion line so I thought you would be really busy."

"That's fine dad I'm really happy for you and Sue, be sure to pass on my congratulations to Sue when you next see her." I congratulated him and smiled myself; I could hear in my dad's voice that he was really happy with her and I really wanted him to have a full life.

"Actually she's stood next to me right now gesturing that I should give her the phone so that she can talk to you. She has something very important she wants to say." I heard the phone pass from my dad's hand to Sue's.

"Hello Isabella, I hope your dad hasn't shocked you too much this afternoon. Anyway thank you for your congratulations." Sue had a warm voice which made everybody love her much like Esme Cullen's voice.

"You're welcome, I gather from your voice that you are very happy and I know that my dad is, so I thank you." I was really grateful to her and I always would be for making my father happy.

"I wanted to ask you if... if you would be a bridesmaid at our wedding?" Sue sounded anxious to know my decision; I smiled and quickly accepted her offer, it would be an honour to be my dad's bridesmaid when I didn't get to do it when he married my mum.

My decision was followed by her squeals of delight and I could hear my dad's laughter in the background and heard him say that I obviously had said yes. I hung up soon after that and looked at the lock to find that it was four o'clock; I only had three hours until my date with Edward.

Two and a half hours later and I was almost finished; I just had to put the killer shoes on before my look was complete; however there was a firm knock at the door. I grabbed my shoes and ran down to catch the door, on the other side was my date well sort of date Edward Cullen. I smiled and let him in; he sat down on the sofa in the living room whilst I put my shoes on and gathered my coat and bag.

"You look lovely Isabella," Edward grinned at me, his eyes were smiling too.

"Thanks, so where are you taking me?" I was still curious about where he was taking me, he had told me to put a dress on which meant it probably wouldn't be too messy or adventurous.

"No way I'm not telling you, I told you this is a surprise." Edward smirked at my obvious irritation; I turned my head the other way so that he couldn't see my face. I pretended to be sulking with him whilst I was smiling slightly at never being surprised before, I heard him chuckle at my fake childishness.

We pulled up outside an Italian restaurant; it was an expensive one you could tell that just by looking at the decor.

"Italian for Isabella," Edward smiled as we got out of the car, I laughed softly and we walked without touching into the restaurant, I instantly hated the waitress when we walked in. She smiled too brightly and too widely at Edward, she suddenly threw out her chest with you could tell was enhanced and batted her eyelashes at him; her name tag read 'Lauren'.

"Hello how can I help you?" She looked at the space between Edward and me before obviously deciding that there was nothing between us.

"We have a reservation under the name Cullen." Edward said seemingly oblivious to what the waitress was doing.

"Table for two?" she asked and I could see that she was hoping it would be a group table that it was say a family reunion or something. Edward nodded and we followed her to a table which could have been for four in the middle of a crowded part of restaurant, I was about to sit when Edward took hold of my arm to stop me and shook his head at the waitress. She pouted slightly and walked away to a small part of the restaurant which was almost empty and gave us a secluded window table.

"Thank you," Edward said sliding into the seat across from me, the waitress walked off to get us a server with slightly disappointed face, I watched with amusement as a twenty something server bounded up to us with a happy face. I hated her also when she started flicking her hair and smiling warmly at Edward yet ignoring me completely as though I didn't exist.

"Hello, I'm Jessica and I'll be your server this evening, can I get you anything to drink?" Her question was obviously only put to Edward and that just irritated me much more.

"Isabella?" Edward turned to me and Jessica sighed before glaring at me, I smiled sweetly and ordered my drink.

"She's love to have a date with you tonight you know, so would the first waitress we met at the door." I told him sipping my drink as he watched me his eyes widening slightly in surprise.

"How do you know?"

"Because this entire time we've been here they've been giving me death glares, why they want to go out with you I don't know." I joked smiling slightly; Edward started laughing making the people nearest us turn and stare.

"Maybe because I'm charming and ooze sexual prowess, oh and because I'm me!" He started laughing again and I joined him this time; this was a different Edward Cullen than what I had first met back when I agreed to do an interview for his magazine.

"I might give you that, can we order now?" I was starving and could feel my stomach rumbling.

"Are you trying to get this evening over with quicker Isabella?" Edward raised his eyebrows at me and motioned for the server to come back to take our orders.

"No but I am starving, please can I have the spaghetti Bolognese?" I asked the server and she nodded before turning to Edward and listening with more rapture than she did mine.

"I hope she doesn't spit in my dinner." I joked still sipping my drink; luckily it wasn't alcoholic so I wasn't going to get drunk at all.

"She better not or I don't think I'll pay, anyway what's your favourite colour?" He asked staring at me intently.

"Why?"

"We're going to get to know each other; so I ask again what's your favourite colour?"

"Blue," I took up my cutlery and tucked into my spaghetti after checking and concluding that she hadn't spat in it or messed it up in anyway what so ever.

"Nice mines yellow," Edward announced, the evening carried on that way and we continued to swap answers to each other's questions.

However we were walking along the beach when he asked a questioned to which the answer would haunt me forever.

"So did you ever fall in love?" He carried on walking and didn't even notice that I had stopped walking shocked at the question.

"Isabella are you okay?" Edward peered into my eyes; his entire being was consumed with concern.

A tear streaked down my cheek and fell into the sea.

"Oh Isabella I'm so sorry I didn't know that would hurt you, I'm sorry, so sorry." He patted my back comfortingly and led me over to a sun lounger which had been left out from the afternoon.

"Its o-o-okay Edward, you didn't know and I'm sorry for putting you through this after such a lovely evening. I...I can't tell you why I'm upset, I don't think I'm ready for that yet. But I will tell you when I am because you deserve to know that much." I wiped away the tears and sniffed once before looking up into his eyes and smiling slightly, and I would tell him when I was ready that just wasn't yet.

One day I would reveal my story, the story which had left my life in ruin and despair. Turning me into a class a bitch and haunting my every moment.

My story.