Hate is all I know

A Twilight Saga fan fiction

By NERRD-VampireLoverXxx

Disclaimer:

Stephanie Meyer owns all rights to the characters use in this story.

I own none of these.

It will all be in BPOV

Chapter 6- A wedding and a revelation

"Hello Sue, how's the wedding planning coming along?" I asked sitting on the beach in my swimsuit, it was now a week to the wedding and I was flying out in five hours. I was waiting for Edward who was coming with me; I had asked him to accompany me as my plus one at the wedding since I didn't want to be there on my own. There were too many bad memories in Forks, which was where they were holding the wedding, and I needed help to get through the week there. I would stay there all this week then the day after the wedding fly home to Florida; Edward had taken two weeks off work for it. Our relationship was running smoothly, I liked him a lot and it was slightly scary, but since that first date we had had many nights in with movies, dinners out, walks along the beach, and many trips to the movies.

"Great yes I'll be there in a few hours then we can talk dresses and shoes, flowers and cakes. I don't suppose my dad's very good at that sort of thing?" I laughed spotting Edward and waving him over.

"Have you already got all the dresses?"

"Oh that's really wonderful, I'm really honoured that you wanted to do that." I smiled at Edward as he sat next to me; I found that the ice which had once surrounded my heart was slowly starting to melt and that I was being much nicer to everyone, when I had first asked Alice how she and Jasper were doing she looked like she was going to faint on me. I had also noticed that on Edward's phone he had no female phone numbers except those of his family, and that a mysterious little black book had disappeared from his wallet, his apartment and his life. He was changing for the better.

"Okay speak to you soon, bye." I hung up and sighed happily.

"Why do you look so happy?" Edward asked taking off his sun glasses.

"Sue's using dresses I designed for her bridesmaids and herself, it's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me." I smiled wider and we walked back to change for our flight.

"Well that was interesting," I commented getting into a cab when we got to Forks, the flight was too long really.

"So this is where you grew up," Edward commented as we drove through the forests of Forks and as traditional it was raining and freezing cold.

"Yeah, you can see why I wanted to move out to the sunshine, I think it was sunny once here and everyone wore shorts because we hardly ever saw the sun." I laughed remembering the boys walking around topless; it was the only chance they would get to show the girls in our year what they were made of.

"Now I can see why you're so pale, how many years did you live here?" He asked as we paid the cab and got out with our bags, I glanced up at my old home still exactly the same as it was the day I had moved in and also they day I had moved out.

"All my life as far as I remember, come on I have to introduce you to everyone." I pulled him by the arm up the gravel path which led towards the front door; Edward was suddenly looking quite scared.

"Are you sure your dad won't mind me staying at your house? You know it wouldn't be any trouble for me to stay in a hotel in Seattle." I fished out my keys and opened the door giving him a reassuring smile.

"I'm an adult, you're an adult we both know what we're doing and anyway I know how to handle my father." We walked through to the hall way and dropping the bags at the bottom of the stairs, I led the way into the living room where I was greeted by excited shouts and greetings.

"Hello everyone; this is Edward Cullen my guest and very good friend, Edward this is my dad Charlie Swan, his fiancée Sue Clearwater and her daughter my soon-to –be step sister and brother Leah and Seth." I introduced everyone before sitting down on the sofa with Edward; Charlie was looking over Edward with a dubious eye, Seth was looking at Edward as though he was a pop star, I smiled at Sue who was glancing curiously between Edward and me.

I could tell this week was going to be amusing.

"Edward! Edward! EDWARD!" I shoved him; we were both sleeping in my room, he was on the floor on an air mattress and I on the bed. I had offered to sleep on the floor but he had vehemently refused and wouldn't even let me consider it.

"What?" He groaned looking up at me through bleary eyes, he looked so cute in the morning...wait what was I saying! He looked cute, my feelings for Edward though obvious to me now I was still scared of them, I knew what love could do and I was still scarred from the last time.

"We've got to get up! I've got a fitting to go to and you've got a day to get to know my dad and Seth." I got out of bed and knelt down next to him, there was now only two days until the wedding and I still didn't know who I was paired to walk down the aisle with, Sue and Charlie were keeping it a secret until the big day.

"Oh but your dad's gonna kill me, I'd much rather come with you Isabella." He was starting to wake up properly now, his eyes were begging me to take him with me and part of me wanted to so that he could keep me company. Sue liked me yes but I could tell Leah didn't after I had told her to stop flirting with Edward because he was with me; well he was in my dreams, or I would tell her mother.

She was only fourteen and he was 10 years older than she was, it was wrong on a lot of levels and it was making Edward really uncomfortable to be in the same room as her which was difficult because we were all living in the same house.

"You can't come with me Edward, unless you want to become bridesmaid number four?" I joked grinning as he grimaced, it was quite an image imagining him in a dress, and we were all in midnight blue floor length dresses, which were from my winter wedding range.

"No thanks I'd rather face your dad." We both started laughing our heads off before getting up and ready for the long day a head.

"Wow Sue you look beautiful," I whispered as she swept out of the changing rooms to show us; my dad would faint, she was gorgeous with her long black hair flowing down her back straight as a rod, the dress was ivory with a simple fall to the floor effect. It was one of my favourites from my summer range; she was going to pair it with a fur shrug and white veil.

"I love it Isabella I really do, what do you think Leah?" She turned to her daughter who beforehand had been sending me dirty looks now looking completely innocent actually looked shocked at how pretty her mother looked, Sue smiled widely and turned to face the long mirror for a final look before taking it back to her house where we were storing everything so that Charlie wouldn't accidently find it.

"Now Leah you go in and put your bridesmaid dress on." Leah flounced into the dressing room with an irritated look; she was unhappy that I had designed the dress but she herself looked wonderful in it and loved it very much. She twirled out and looked like a princess; her dark skin tone and dark eyes sparkled and her figure was shown off wonderfully.

"Fantastic Leah absolutely gorgeous, now Isabella it's your turn." I walked into the fitting rooms and slipped into the dress which I remember having the most fun designing, it was simple but on looked fantastic.

I walked out and turned to look in the mirror shocked at the person who was staring back at me, she looked gorgeous and very confident.

"Isabella, your simple glowing and I think look like a vision!" Sue exclaimed and Leah actually smiled at me for once without any hint of menace in her face.

"Thank you, but I think everybody will be commenting on how beautiful the bride looks and how happy the groom looks to be concentrating for even a minute on me." I went and took the dress off; I was slightly excited to see Edward's face when he saw me in this.

"Where's the hair-dryer" The hairdresser called from the sitting room where she was doing Sue's hair, Leah and I were already ready and we were just waiting for the hairdresser to finish Sue's hair then we would be setting off for the church, I still didn't know who I was walking down the aisle with and it was bugging me to no end.

"Here Rosalie," I handed it to her and she smiled and quickly blow dried it; Rosalie was lovely and her husband Emmet was the vicar doing the service today, they were both friendly and we had met them last night for the rehearsal, Emmet kept cracking jokes and Rosalie complimenting me on my hair colour.

"Right people let's move, move, move! Cars are here and we need to be on time. So bridesmaids in the first car, bride and Seth in the second car, which will follow the first." Rosalie called; she was going to meet us all at the reception. Sue's dad had died years ago so Seth was walking her down the aisle, I couldn't wait to see Edward in his suit, and I hadn't seen him since yesterday morning when I had moved into Sue's house for the night.

Leah and I both got in the car and an awkward silence settled over the two of us.

"Isabella, I'm sorry," Leah spoke up staring out of the window.

"I shouldn't have hit on Edward when I knew you had feelings for him, and you're right he is too old for me. I need someone my own age who can understand me properly and he would never understand the sort of things I'm going through as a teen. So I just wanted to say sorry and thank you for telling me." She turned to me with a sorrowful expression and I surprised myself and her by leaning over and hugging her, she was stiff in my arms but I didn't let go.

"It's alright Leah, I'm glad you've realised that and I forgive you." Leah relaxed and hugged me back for a minute then we pulled away and the awkward atmosphere was broken. The car was then filled with talk of the latest fashions and Leah's favourite designers.

The bridesmaids got out of the car and rushed towards the church doors where there was three young men stood waiting to walk us each down the aisle. I glanced up eagerly to see who I had gotten and my stomach dropped down into my feet, my mouth went dry, my eyes filled with tears and my heart stopped beating. I was partnered with the devil- Jacob Black.

I watched Leah bound up to Embry who was in her class and start talking like mad, it was obvious that they liked each other, I was really happy for Leah and hoped she got together with Embry.

Sue's car pulled up behind me and she and Seth got out, my face was still frozen in shock at having seen Jacob when Sue touched my arm softly breaking me out of my trance.

"Isabella, I partnered you with Jacob since you two have always been such good friends, are you okay?" She looked at me and I plastered a fake smile on my face and nodded, I would not ruin this day for her, besides all I had to do was walk down at aisle with him and then back again. That was it.

I walked up to the group and stood next to Jacob with without smiling, he touched my arm lightly and I shrank away from his touch before rounding on him with a hardened expression.

"Now you listen to me Jacob Black, I am not happy that I've been partnered with you but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it because unlike you I'm not selfish and I don't want to ruin Charlie and Sue's big day. So do not touch me, do not even talk to me but we are both going to walk down this aisle with smiles on our faces and pretend that we are okay with walking together, understand? Good!" I turned back to face the front, Jacob was stood there looking quite shocked since I had never spoken like that to him before, it was the bitch coming out in me.

We started walking down the aisle in front of Sue and Seth; I could hear gasps in the audience from people who hadn't seen me since I had graduated from Forks High about seven years ago.

I smiled a fake smile whilst inside I cried and shouted at having to walk with a now smiling Jacob, people didn't know my whole story they just thought me and Jacob had agreed to break up because of the difference in our ambitions, and they hadn't heard the horror.

I saw Edward sat in the second row from the front; he hadn't been included as part of the wedding party since Sue and Charlie didn't know him and he was on my invitation as a plus one, he was smiling at me and winked when I caught his eye. He looked awesomely hot in his dark blue suit and white shirt, he had tried very hard to get his hair to sit right but it wasn't working even with half a pot of hair gel on his hair.

When I made it to the front of the church Jacob and I parted sitting on opposite sides of the church, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

The wedding pasted in a flash and before I knew it I was walking back down the aisle a smile of pure happiness on my face as people cheered for Charlie and Sue, my new step-mum and Leah was walking next to me, we had both decided to walk back down the aisle together and had dumped Embry and Jacob to walk with each other. I was going to get on well with Leah now that we were related and she started talking about Embry, she was falling fast I could see and I told her so.

"I think your right, I really like him." She blushed a slight pink and waved at Embry from across the room; we had been at the reception for about an hour and had already eaten.

"Have you told him?" I asked smiling at another of the people from the res, thankfully I hadn't bumped into Jacob yet but I knew that after the first dance I was expect to dance one dance with him then my duties were over.

"What? No way we aren't even dating; he doesn't like me like that!" She looked outraged and turned to talk to a friend, I glanced over at Embry who was staring at Leah, I smiled. Yeah, sure he didn't.

"Now it's time for the first dance, I welcome you all to Mr and Mrs Swan!" The Dj announced and everybody started clapping as Charlie and Sue walked on to the dance floor. I could see Charlie blushing as though he didn't like being the centre of attention and Sue laughing; it was magical to see Charlie happy again after the death of Renee and Sue was just the right person to make him happy after being widowed when Harry died.

"They look so happy," I whispered to Edward who was stood next to me, I was mentally preparing myself for the dance with Jacob then I would never speak to him again.

Leah and Embry walked on to the dance floor closely followed by the chief bridesmaid and I knew it was my turn to dance with Jacob; I took a deep breath and walked to where he waited on the edge of the floor. He took me in my arms and we moved awkwardly in a small circle, I desperately wanted to pull away and run for my life but I had to face my demons and if I could get through one dance with him then I would be alright.

"So Bella... how've you been?" Jacob asked and I cringed at the name, anger and hurt filling my heart as my mind wandered to the last time when he called me that.

"Don't call me that! You have no right to call me that!" I kept my face neutral but my voice was icy cold and filled with hatred for the man who held me, more people were filling onto the dance floor and I was looking around for someone to cut in so I could escape from Jacob's clutches but nobody was free.

"Come on, we both know you want me back. You moving to Florida was just a way of you wanting me to follow you, you're only annoyed because I didn't come chasing after you. I mean we only had a little bump in the road we can just carry on where we left off..." Jacob smiled at me and I stopped moving staring at him in complete horror, I would never ever go back to that time.

"Jacob I wouldn't even think about going back out with you if you were the last breath on Earth and I was running out of oxygen. For the record I moved away to get away from you not to make you chase me!" I pulled out of his arms and ran out of the reception and into the small garden behind it, blinded by tears I turned and looked at the almost obscured moon feeling trapped by Jacob and the bad memories.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned as Edward walked towards me with concerned eyes making tears run down my cheeks faster and thicker than before.

"Isabella what's the matter?" Edward rushed up to me staring into my eyes, I shook my head indicating that I couldn't talk right now; Edward pulled me tightly against the warmth of his chest.

I clung to his shirt and cried into his chest, I let out all of my heart wrenching pain.

We had been standing there for about a minute when Edward spoke again.

"Come on Isabella, I'll take you home," he grasped my arm firmly and started walking me towards his car; I followed without even considering anything.

"No what about the wedding? Sue, Charlie, all the guests..." I was still walking towards the car however; Edward rolled his eyes and helped me into the car.

"Don't worry about them, you're upset and your needs come first." We drove in silence to my house where I let us in before we sat down in the living room on the big sofa. I went and got dress for bed and when I got back down Edward was in pyjama pants seeing as it was going to be just us tonight. Charlie and Sue were going on a honeymoon/ holiday tonight and Leah was going to stay at her aunts in Seattle for the rest of the week.

Edward passed me the box of tissues and I leant my head on his shoulder, in that moment I felt closer to Edward than I ever had before, the fact that he hadn't asked what the matter was while I got composed. I took a deep breath and plunged right into the deep end...

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd do anything to save them anything they wanted just to make them happy?"

"No not really," he answered still staring at the fireplace for which I was glad.

"Well that was how I felt when Jacob and I were going out, we'd been best friends for years before then and we started dating in high school. By the time we graduated we were both deeply in love well at least I thought we were. We got engaged straight after school and though Charlie was surprised he was happy about it because he knew Jacob would take care of me." I paused to take another breath which came out shakily and Edward patted my hand to reassure me.

"We decided on a long engagement, I was happier than I had been since my mum had died. However my world came crashing down all around me when Jacob saw me talking to a guy from the local bookstore, he came to the wrong conclusion and thought I had been cheating on him which combined with the fact that I wouldn't have sex with him. I came home that night and he- he... He beat me." I whispered ashamed that I was admitting this to Edward but I felt that there wasn't anybody in the world I would rather admit this to.

"Isabella-" I cut him off abruptly before he could say anything more.

"Please let me finish. The beatings continued for a few months before one night it all changed, he came home drunk from a nightclub and I knew he had been with another woman so I confronted him. But his anger fused with the alcohol made him even worse than normal; he beat me and then raped me. I've never felt more contaminated than in that moment, after that night it carried on until one day I went to the doctors for my regular check up and was told that I was pregnant. I was so scared, I went home and did the only think I could do tell Jacob because if he beat me he would hurt the baby. So I told him and he was furious and made me get rid of it." Tears streaked down my face again at the memory of destroying that brand new life, Edward saw my tears and pulled me into his warm embrace, I buried my head into his chest and his arms tightened around me.

"He went with me to a clinic in Seattle and sat there looking like the loving boyfriend but I knew that when we got home, I would receive new bruises because of that new life. I hated myself more than him for letting him walk over me but I kept telling myself that it was for my own good that he loved me. One night I got home and he was in bed with a friend of mine and instead of looking guilty he just turned around and said 'I'm not getting any from her, she's such a prude how could I ever love someone like that.' That night I ran. I left Jacob a note telling him that I couldn't do it anymore that I was leaving to start a new life in a new place, I left Charlie one too telling him that Jacob and I wanted different things so had split up and I was moving away to pursue my dream. I told Jacob that reason for our split; I didn't want to involve the police since I knew it would kill Charlie. I had money in my bank account that Jacob didn't know about and I just started my new life out in Florida enrolling in University and completing my fashion course."

The room fell in silence; Edward was thinking about what I had just said and I was thinking about what he thought.

He lifted me up to look at me and I was shocked to see understanding in his eyes, my expression must have shown my confusion because he smiled at me.

"Isabella, that's obviously why you were a bit of a hateful bitch to me?" He asked, I nodded and wiped the last of my tears from my eyes, I felt a million times lighter after admitting this.

"It wasn't just you Edward; it was everyone I was a hateful bitch to. I couldn't trust anyone not even my publicist; throughout taking my fashion degree I never had a boyfriend or any real friends of my own. I worked hard and reached high for my dreams, I achieved them and felt good about myself. I was even worse to you because you were the sort of man, who I hated, you used women for pleasure. I originally set out to trap you Edward, to make you fall for me and then I was going to break your heart, to make you feel the same way that all those girls felt when you went out with them."

I glanced at Edward's face and saw that it was amused.

"Isabella I forgive you, but there is one thing I would like to know. I don't want to offend you but why did you say that you originally set out to trap me? Aren't you still?" He was confused and yet looked amused at the idea that I wasn't out to trap him anymore.

"No, I think halfway through the process I... I sort of fell in love with you." I whispered and glanced down at the tissue in my hand. Edward's warm finger lifted my chin up so that my eyes met his and he smiled softly his eyes smouldering in the dimly lit room.

"Guess what Isabella? Half way through your mission... I sort of fell in love with you too." He whispered back.

He bent his head down and captured my lips in his; and for the first time in my life I saw fireworks and I was tingling all the way down to my toes as mine and Edward's lips moved with each other.