Gokudera woke up for a start.
"Hm?" He looked around, and found himself sleeping alone in the prince's room. He looked up at the tall bedroom window, which generously allowed the strong golden rays of morning light to wash the soft warm blanket covering Gokudera's lap. Gokudera didn't feel any happier to be greeted by such a beautiful morning, especially when he just awoke from an unforgivable story that happened the previous night.
"Ah." Gokudera let a small shout of pain and surprise. Something flat and heavy dropped forcefully onto his lap. He looked up to find a man clad in a butler's uniform, and a serious face with his eyes narrowed.
"When the hell were YOU HERE!" Gokudera gasped out like he saw the unseen spirits. The butler rolled his eyes, or more of squinted in annoyance. "Herbivores like you won't understand, and then again I have to deal with some prince who gladly dismiss it casually."
"By master, do you mean…"
"Prince Takeshi-sama," and Hibari then described him as a herbivore, but he practically calls everyone that "I'm his butler, Hibari." He gave a brief introduction. Gokudera looked down at what was on his lap. A tray of silver (explaining the pain), filled with assorted sushi, from maki to sashimi.
"The prince prepared this, and told me to give it to you. He told me to be polite, so I will. Eat this, or I'll bite you to death." The butler said coldly. Gokudera looked at him and blinked a little. The prince prepared him breakfast in bed? After what happened last night?
Gokudera stared guiltily at the delicious small platter of seafood. How long has he not eaten such heavenly dishes? He looked down at it awkwardly, like he wasn't going to be tempted by the mere sight of delights. But it really wasn't the one he wanted to see. He wanted to see Takeshi again. To wake up to find him missing from an all-night embrace caused a high wave of emptiness to rush over his emotions. But even if he woke up to find Yamamoto still by his side, what would Gokudera say?
Gokudera look up from the platter, but froze in shock.
The cold metal rod pressed softy against his neck, feeling just a menacing. "Listen, I don't like you. I don't how long my hollow-headed master is going to carry on without realizing who you really are, but I'm not as stupid as him, because I'm a carnivore. I saw everything that happened last night from the shadows outside."
"…" Gokudera felt himself quite short of breath. "So you're going to report me, right? You're going to unmask me infront of everyone, in front of Takeshi, right?" Gokudera stared coldly at the butler who was leaning close, trying his best to look like nothing was wrong about that. But he knew it was all a lie.
"Wrong."
What?
"I hate to be associated to anything, least to say with anyone. I don't even feel like serving herbivores. I don't bother. You can do whatever you want, but I'll be watching, that's all." He smiled threateningly with his dagger eyes. "…" Gokudera stared back at him at a loss for words.
He then withdrew his weapon, finally allowing Gokudera to let go and breathe out. "Finish that, or my trip to accompany him to the market would be wasted. I hate the morning crowds." And with that, he left the room with a bang of the door. Gokudera stared at himself and his grip tightened into the blanket.
The tranquility of the garden did no good as the troubled Gokudera paced around the greenery under the beautiful light of morn.
Gokudera finished his food. It tasted really good. He never knew an idiot of a prince can possess such wonderful culinary skills. He licked the end of his fingers slightly like he wished the flavor would last. He smiled as he recalled it. It was as if he tasted a little cloud of heaven, and it was clear that it passed on to him a message from the bottom of Yamamoto's heart.
Gokudera sighed. He really shouldn't be thinking of these right now. The more he fantasizes about this peculiar prologue of a love story, he was harshly dragged and thrown back into reality, and that reality is now a dark space ahead that Gokudera didn't dare step into.
What will Mukuro do about this now that Gokudera has decided to abandon his mission for the sake to see Yamamoto smile for tomorrow? What will happen to Mother without the money he could have ran away with? What will Takeshi think of him after he pointed the end of a blade at him that very night? Gokudera closed his eyes and take a deep breath. If he didn't, his head probably would have exploded. He really wished he could share his problems and hope someone can listen to him, help him, or at comfort him. Gokudera shrugged it off and looked up into the sky which gave no answers. "Tch, who needs help? I can handle this all by myself."
Yeah. All by myself. Just as always.
Gokudera pulled out the knife from underneath a layer of frill. He gazed at it as a speck of light run down the bladed edge of the weapon. "…" Maybe he just needed to plunge the knife into him. Then all his troubles will be over. Gokudera found himself smiling as his fingers guided the blade pointing in his direction…
Wait. Kill himself? That's suicide. It's a sin, a sin against God right?
Gokudera laughed slightly as his palms closed tightly on the hilt. A sin against God? God did so much to me, and made my life so unfair. It's not worth living on anymore.
Gokudera smirked back at the sky as the blood-red roses beckoned him to spill the colour of his gown.
Despite feeling out of breathe, Yamamoto had the energy to smile. He was almost there. Back to where Dera is. He really felt bad to leave her alone this morning. But if he didn't hurry up, his katekyo at swords fighting, Squalo, will yell his ears off with his signature VOIs, cursing with words that he kept hearing since day 1. Yamamoto wished to apologise by waking up extra early to prepare something for her. Let's just hope she'll forgive him.
Takeshi just wanted her to know that she is his everything.
Even it means she would do something like murdering him.
"Ma." Yamamoto dismissed the last thought out of his head. He shouldn't occupy himself too much as he dashed head-on. Dera's waiting. Let's hope she didn't break down and cry. But knowing her, the prince was confident that he'll be able to cheer her up regardless of her feelings.
Something caught his attention. Yamamoto slowed down his pace and glanced to the far end of the franchise, allowing the roses to guide his view to be casted upon a fair maiden of beautiful silver hair, donning in a scarlet gown, back exposed. She was the perfect and exact image of the time the prince ever saw her. Back then she was gazing upon the far view of the Garden of Ame on the ballroom balconies. Yamamoto smiled back at that memory. He knew just one look at her and something beautiful would begin. "I wonder what's she's doing now?" Yamamoto grinned as he changed course, dashing full speed across the crimson red roses towards his lover.
The knife came down forcefully. It was indeed one fatal move that would definitely end it all.
If Gokudera didn't get surprised from Yamamoto's voice.
"DERA~"
Fuck this.
Gokudera needed to hide his weapon again. Was he caught in the act of suicide? But Yamamoto's voice was filled with sheer merry. "Why, of all the time you can call my name, why now?" Gokudera muttered as he jammed his armed hand into a rose bush behind him without thinking. Everything happened so fast, that when Gokudera let the weapon go and withdrew his hand hurriedly, it was seriously injured from the thorns in the bushes, streams of blood flowed down the length of his forearm to the end of his fingers. Gokudera nearly cried out in pain. But he was strong enough to suppress it and spin around, looking rather downcast.
That wasn't painful at all. He experienced pain far more than that, both inside and out.
"Good morn… WARGH!" Gokudera gasped in surprise as the prince ambushed him, wrapped his arms around Gokudera's small waist and pulled him in to a tight hug. They fell off their feet and landed in an embrace onto the soft moist grass below. Gokudera was too embarrassed by it to react, choosing to blush his feelings out instead. Yamamoto refused to let go, continuing to laugh like he enjoyed every moment that pass. Gokudera didn't really hate what happened. He looked up into the sky before him while lying down.
He didn't kill Yamamoto, because he wanted to hear his idiotic laughter again, and see the stupid grin on his face. And Yamamoto was like himself this morning, and that is enough for Gokudera to feel a tad better.
"Dera, GOOD MORNING!" Yamamoto looked up at her. Gokudera glared back below in disgust. "Shuddup, you nearly killed me. You have no idea how heavy you are. = =" Gokudera sat up and ran his fingers through the front of his hair to allow the morning dew to drip off. Sighing, he threw a rather casual glance to the prince who smiled back at her like he couldn't care less. The respond to that was rather sweet-sounding, "Dera did you enjoy your breakfast?"
"Eh?" Gokudera pretended that he forgot, like he was trying to act like he really didn't care about it. "Oh right, that. Yeah, it was… average, I guess." Yamamoto laughed. "Ahahaha, Gokudera's so cold this morning. But I hope you did like it, really." Yamamoto sat up close beside her, who whipped her head away in irritation. "…It's my first time I fall in love," Yamamoto started off. Gokudera's eyes grew wide. Idiot. It's not just you. "So… if I'm not doing a good job, you just tell me okay?" Yamamoto kissed the back of her hair. Gokudera felt his neck sink into his shoulders, his cheeks tinted bright pink.
"Yamamoto."
"Yeah?" Yamamoto leaned over to listen attentively.
"I'm sorry."
Gokudera apologised. He apologised for what he wanted to do last night. "Yamamoto… you knew right? You knew what was going to happen. I'll never forgive myself for doing something as stupid like that. I… I'm sorry, though I know better that that isn't enough."
Yamamoto saw her eyes narrow. Her lips didn't change, still remaining a small pout. But it was enough for Yamamoto to know that Dera feels more remorseful than ever. He just needed her to wipe the sadness of her face. So he smiled, trying to play the innocent, simple minded one. "Ahaha, you mean last night? Nah, it was fun really! ^^ Let's play it someday again. Then we can switch roles. So I forgive you! ^^"
Gokudera thought he felt himself turn into stone. Seriously! YOU STILL THINK THIS IS SOME IDIOTIC GAME! GOD WHY DID I EVEN BOTHER TO APOLOGISE TO SOME NAÏVE, HOLLOW-HEADED NUT OF A PRINCE! Gosh… I think I FINALLY understand why Mukuro wants you so badly killed. = =
"You… HELL YEAH YOU BETTER YOU BETTER ACCEPT MY FUCKING APOLOGY! " Gokudera snapped back harshly, Yamamoto laughed at her reaction once again. The truth is, the prince was glad she was back to her own demeanor. Sometimes he wished she could be a little more lady-like. But maybe it's the best of her that he loved. His fingers came to twine into hers, but stopped. "!"
Gokudera looked up. "… Yamamoto?"
"DERA WHAT HAPPENED!" The usually calm and collected prince panicked. "Eh?" Gokudera looked down at his creamy white hand, badly stained with in a mess of dried blood. Yamamoto looked extremely frightened by the sight of it. Gokudera let out a sigh of disappointment. "Oi, idiot. Relax,really. It's just scratches. Nothing major."
"…" Yamamoto looked as if he was about to cry. Why can't he get hurt instead of Gokudera? Yamamoto rushed up on a knee. "Hey Yamamoto what are you… EH!" Yamamoto reached out a hand to brush does his dress, another supporting his back. He then rose to his feet with the flustered young assassin in his arms, bridal style. "IDIOT YOU…" Gokudera nearly felt himself fall back first. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms desperately around the prince's neck to prevent himself fall out of balance and pulled himself closer. "OI YOU PERVERTED BASTED PUT ME DOWN! LIKE I SAID IT'S NOTHING MAJOR SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE I'M SOME MAIDEN IN DISTRESS! MY LEG AIN'T FRACTURED FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
But instead, he felt himself being shifted closer. He looked up and his gaze only fell upon his gentle gaze from his hazel-brown eyes. "Sorry. But you're injured, and I'm worried. I'll carry you okay? It's the fastest way to the infirmary. I'll take good care of you."
With that the prince broke into a sprint, holding onto Dera in case she lets go. Not as if Gokudera would. He really didn't mind if he falls over and break a neck or something. He was just simply enjoying the moment of being close to him.
God was playing fair this whole time. While He was slowly burning away all the love and care he could receive long ago, Gokudera was unaware that it was restored with the most beautiful feeling and gift he ever was really clear that Gokudera loved the teen that loved him back.
Yet at the same time, Gokudera wished he didn't.
"How are you feeling? Does it hurt?"
Gokudera stared down at his bandaged his hands, shifted himself from being so uncomfortable on the edge of the bed. The prince was squatting infront of him taking care of his hand cautiously so as to avoid hurting her.
"…You got to be kidding me."
"Yeah?"
"They are just SCRATCHES. You don't mummify your own hand because you have SCRATCHES." Gokudera snapped. The prince chuckled like he was rather used to it. "Ma,ma, Dera..." He paused, and tucked a lock of her soft silver hair tenderly behind her ear, smiling gently, sadly, but to describe it honestly, he was concerned. "How have you been treating yourself?"
His reply was rather straightforward and clearly unhappy. "Fairly well, idiot prince."
"…" The princes sighed and smile sadly in defeat, his hand never left the side of her face, sliding down to cup a side of her cheeks. "Just please take better care of yourself, okay?" Yamamoto stood up to relax his aching knees. Gokudera remained silent. Take better care of myself? Tch, what do you know? This is how I was 'taken care of' since so long ago.
"Dera, why do you think you can handle all these very well?" The prince started. Somehow, Gokudera couldn't help but to feel like memories were all rushing back, his control of his emotions and senses momentarily snatched away, jolting up slightly."…" The prince saw her mouth slightly parting as her eyes grew wide, visioning something. There was a brief pause in the room before the prince spoke again. "Dera, tell me how long are you going to hold all the pain inside? You're so used to this, you seemed like you couldn't feel anything, or didn't even have the need to feel like holding anything back." Dera slowly put a hand up to cover a side of his face which was starting to feel a strong migrane.
Hayato, why are you crying? Come here, mommy is here for you.
Hayato are you alright? That looked like it hurt. Here, let me help you.
You have to take good care of yourself, my dear little Hayato.
Mother…
"...Dera?" Yamamoto's voice had a sense of alert as Gokudera groaned and winced. "Idiot, what do you know?" Gokudera tried to control everything. EVERYTHING.
Maybe it was a little too much to handle, since his history was bitter and heart-tearing.
" See, look what you're done." Gokudera whispered as he gave in, his eyes feel hot and stinging, his tears streaming endlessly again. It hurts to think back. The prince lowered himself and tilted his head to take a better look at her crying face. He wasn't upset like he was the last time he saw her cry. He was just glad Dera decided to break down and express herself, and exactly how hurt she felt.
The prince walked up to sit down beside her. Gokudera had his forearm across his eyes to prevent anyone seeing them all red and puffy. His teeth gritted together firmly, holding back the slightest noise and sniffle. Gentle strong arms folded around his body and arms. "Ok, that's enough," Yamamoto tried to sound encouraging as he pulled her closer to him. Gokudera didn't get it, but was too depressed to reply, least to say argue. "Dera, the next time you think about everything again, you can just cry it all out. Really, there's nothing to be afraid of. I won't laugh at you. It's not good to stay strong forever. How are you going to open up to anyone else if you're going to keep up your tough front?"
Gokudera didn't hear everything of it, his head hurting from the throbbing. All he wanted to do was to find someone, and understand the meaning of being comforted. So that's what he did, forcefully pulled himself into Yamamoto's shirt to hide his own embarrassing expression. It was dark enough for Gokudera to feel like he's alone to cry out loud, his cry muffled.
It hurts. My mother is sick, my father left our family, along with my sister. It's just me and mother now, with no one else, supporting each other, and then day after day you have to suffer guilt and abandon. Can life get any worse!
"… Still. It painful for myself as well to see you cry." Yamamoto let out a helpless sigh as he looked down at her hair just under his chin. He kissed the soft silver hair of hers. Gokudera cried some more, fist clenching tighter into the front of his shirt. Gokudera tried to regain his control over his senses. Maybe he fell into pieces too much, and now this was just something out of the regular situation. Well, slightly different, since this is the first time he actually allowed himself to show his weak and helpless side and cry to someone. He couldn't listen to what the prince was saying.
Until he said something that paused time and tears, even for just a few beautiful seconds.
"Dera, stop crying, I love you."
"…" 3 words, simple as that, was enough to stop tears from flowing. Gokudera just stayed in position, blinking. Yamamoto felt the front of the princess's body rise for a long time before it fell against him. "Idiot prince," and with that he pushed himself away from the grinning prince. His eyes were still red and wet. "It's alright now, I'll always be there for you okay? So keep smiling." Yamamoto chuckled softly as he patted her head in a friendly manner. "…" Gokudera stared blankly outside the scenery infront of him, not saying a word. Finding the precise moment rather embarrassing, it was the only way to avoid eye contact. It didn't stop him from smiling though.
Just then, something caught his attention out there. Gokudera felt himself stiffen.
There was a bird beneath the canopy of leaves up the tree right outside the tall window. An owl. It turned around slowly and allowed to look at Gokudera with one eye. It was red, with the number six in the middle.
"!" Gokudera's wet eyes widened. "…"
The prince noticed her expression immediately, since he has been staring at her face from the start. "Dera? What's wrong?"
"…" Dera continued to watch it closely. The owl cast a glance at him with its unblinking eyes and flew off. Owls? In broad daylight? Wait, Gokudera knew someone who could possibly owe something like that…
"Takeshi, I have to go." Gokudera climbed off the bed and made his way hurriedly to the door. "Wait, DERA!" Yamamoto yelled from behind desperately. I have to go. It felt as if Dera is going to leave him forever. "DERA!" Yamamoto jumped off behind her, dashing forward to grab her hand and held on tightly. "Dera, wait! Where are you going!"
Gokudera's head was brimming, like markers scribbling furiously on paper into a black clump of mess. He loved Yamamoto too much, and he needs to tell that person a lot of things, too much for him to know what. He was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When Yamamoto's hand grabbed desperate at his wrist, it only made it worse. Too much emotion in a gush made him do something he really didn't mean to. "OI! Let me GO!" Gokudera slapped his hand with all his strength to set his wrist free. Stunned, Yamamoto let go. Gokudera didn't look back, dashing madly down the hallway and out as fast as he could, too occupied to notice the stunned and speechless expression of Yamamoto, left alone in his room.
Gokudera was practically out of breath now. Lifting his head to face the canopy of leaves above him, he allowed himself to gasp for air as sweat drenched his neck. Focusing, he ran on. He managed to find the owl just now, which perched on branch of a peach tree right outside the courtyard, like it was expecting him. The first thing Gokudera did was too run up to it. Hopefully, just hopefully, he can find the person he was looking for. The bird flapped its wings and propelled himself out, leaving Gokudera to chase after it.
Now how long has he been running? Gokudera thought as he his breathed out loud and heavily. Probably for an hour? It was stupid, but he didn't bother to take a break. He might lose sight of the owl, which may be the key to all his questions.
Gokudera cursed once again as the hem of his scarlet gown got stuck in the undergrowth of the stray forest. With a furious tug to save as much time as possible, his dress ripped at the end once again and he winced as he felt the thorns and twigs cut against his feet for another time. It was obvious that he couldn't keep this up anymore.
He ran on. He felt like he needed to collapse there and then. The owl didn't stop as well, until Gokudera's eyes grew wide open in shock, watching the owl disappear all of a sudden out of sight once it went behind two cedar trees. Gokudera's pace went faster, but he has lost all sense of direction. Soon, he found a strong burst of light ahead. Lifting as much of the heavy fabric of the ground, he stride over the fallen logs and moist grass, only to find himself slipping off the ground and ended roughly and awkwardly on his ankle and knee.
Without holding back, he let out a loud shout of pain. He could feel his the sharp agonizing feeling slice across his ankle. He probably twisted it. Whatever. Gokudera was strong enough to cope that small matter. After all, bodies are tasked to heal sooner or later. He decided not to care about his own welfare, but rather his surroundings. The word forboding came into mind as the atmosphere was deadly, tense and too quiet to be fictional.
He landed in a clearing that was like a hole dented below the forest floor. The trees loomed over, and it appeared as if it would be a difficult for him to get out in his worn out condition. Gokudera sighed miserably as he pressed his back against the wall of the clearing, sliding down to sit down. Great, he wasted his time to chase some stupid bird and know he's lost, exhausted and injured. But he could have sworn he saw something in that bird's eye. Or was it just because all the crying just now was causing him to hallucinate things?
Hidden behind an illusionary clump of gingko trees, he watched closely, and his face was filled with disappointed for his failure. But his calm displeased face didn't last for long once he snapped his fingers cleverly. He smiled slightly at the assassin before him, though to Gokudera he wasn't there at all.
The curtains are about to rise, young assassin. A dark puppet play is about to begin. And the story definitely won't end with a happily ever after.
Hehe so that's the end of this chaptor~ Saimase! : I'm kind of busy these few days now that schoolwork was finally starting to catch up. Bleh. == oh well. that's all I can write. I think fluff is running low on me~ D: *sudden realisation shocker face* anyway. I'll try to write some more. but for now. stay happy, fall in love, and the world will be a better place to live in. (if only Mukuro doesn't do what he would do in the next chapter...)