Dedication: To GinnyW. Happy birthday, baby doll.
As dawn broke, Edward squatted down by the river, filling his canteen, but really just staring off into space.
He hadn't felt this guilty since he'd done his first crime.
He'd long ago thought he'd gotten used to the fact that when he thought about his Ma and Pa, he knew they'd be ashamed of the man he'd become. They hadn't raised him to be this way.
But this latest turn... Hell if he didn't feel lower than a rattlesnake's belly and three times as vile as the vermin he still thought himself above.
He'd taken a girl's innocence and didn't even have the courtesy to remember.
His gut churned sickeningly, remembering the way she'd flinched away from his touch. Though he couldn't bring himself to ask, he couldn't imagine he'd been that gentle with her. Good God, she was just a girl. Hardly more than a child. He must have hurt her, probably more than was absolutely necessary.
The thought made him scowl. None of it was necessary. It shouldn't have happened, not ever. And he could vow not to touch her again all he wanted, but it wouldn't make things right. She was tainted now. Damaged goods. And even if he got them un-hitched, there wasn't many who'd want her when she'd been had by someone else. At least, they wouldn't want her as a bride.
It made Edward furious to think of her having to hole up in some whore house, painting her pretty face with too much rouge. He thought of all the men he knew who visited those places. He saw their big, meaty hands all over her small, fragile body. The thought made him enraged. His fists clenched and he stood by the river, wanting badly to tear someone apart, anyone who hurt her.
His shoulders slumped when he remembered again: the only one who'd hurt her was him.
He breathed in the clean, cool air of the morning deeply.
It was a right fine mess he was in, that was for sure.
It had been two days since he'd found himself hitched.
He was quickly discovering his little wife was stubborn as all get out. Once he'd figured out what happened, what he'd been agreeing to whatever the preacher was saying without actually listening to the words, he was quick to assure the girl - Bella - that he would fix it. Surely the priest would understand he'd make a lousy husband.
Bella didn't seem to care about all that. She went on at length that she would be no bother. It wasn't in her to complain, and she was no city girl used to fine things. He tried arguing that she deserved those things, but she'd have none of it.
"You won't throw her off," a girl perhaps a year or so older than Bella had told him when his wife insisted on going to make sure his horse was ready. She identified herself later as Angela, and the more refined way she spoke made Edward think she was well educated - perhaps doted upon by the priest above the others for one reason or another. "Miss Bella never eats her share of the rations, but gives most her food up to the little ones. She knows if you're to care for her, all her rations would be spread among us, and we'd all have more."
That was how he found himself leaving that little town with Bella clinging to his waist tight.
It'd been two days since then and true to her word, Bella hadn't complained a lick. She'd been the epitome of dutiful, not saying a word though it was obvious she was sore from being so long in the saddle. No matter that he tried to protest, the girl was insistent that she make his dinner and breakfast when he rose.
She was clumsy, fumbling her way through what she thought her duty was. They lingered behind the other men when they rode. Their teasing was too crude for her innocent ears, and besides - he didn't like they way they looked at her.
Edward ran his hands through his hair, considering his options.
Well, better or worse, he had himself a wife, and he was going to have to figure out how to keep her safe.
Best to start with the obvious. She'd probably be awake. He eyed the water, wondering if the fish would bite this morning. Maybe a nice breakfast of fresh fish would be better than the usual -
His thought cut off when he heard a scream come from the direction of their camp. A female scream.
He ran.
Seemed that he couldn't stop making mistake after mistake. He never should have left his sweet bride alone.
The sight he ran up to would be emblazoned in his mind forever.
Felix and James held her between them, restraining her as she thrashed wildly, screaming. They had her on her side, Felix pinning her head down against the dirt with one hand while he caught her flailing fists with another. James was at her back, tugging her dress down off her shoulders. Edward could hear the fabric ripping. She was screaming for them to stop, yelling "no" and cursing them with language that would have made him blush if he wasn't so completely infuriated.
Edward was going to kill them.
~Bella~
It had been all Bella could do to keep her emotions in check the last two days.
She wished Edward would at least tell her what was expected of her. He argued when she tried to cook for him, though he did seem appreciative of the food once she got it done. He apologized about a thousand times an hour for something - that the ride was too long, the sun too hot, the night air too cold.
He was a conundrum, this husband of hers. There was something so kind about him, and yet he was close as kin to these ruffians.
In the orphanage, she was used to trying to disappear. She did her chores, helped with the younger children, and generally tried not to be too much trouble. The nuns didn't have enough time and some of the little ones needed the attention more.
So she was a little perplexed when he continuously asked how she was doing, or as they rode along, he asked about her family, her interests. Once she started talking, she found she couldn't stop. She laid her cheek against his back, inhaling his pleasing scent of leather as they talked.
He seemed to like her. He chuckled appropriately and listened attentively.
There were times when she thought he might want to kiss her, or at least touch her with amorous intention. The evening previous, when he helped her from their horse, her body had slid along his. When she stood on her own feet, her hands were still splayed over his chest. She could feel his heart pitter-pattering beneath her palm.
When they were face to face, pressed up against each other, all the air seemed to be sucked out of the world. Suddenly it was impossible not to think about the way his hands felt on her body.
She'd expected him to take her quickly, claim the territory that was now rightly his, but he hadn't done that. That night, his hands had caressed, his lips had kissed softly.
He'd made her feel things Bella had no name for.
So while yes, she was frightened of his advances and overwhelmed by how quickly her life had changed, part of her was curious. She didn't know if that was natural, felt her cheeks heat at the thought. It was her duty after all.
Still, both nights they'd been together since the wedding, he hadn't tried to lay so much as a finger on her. The first night they'd slept in an Inn. He'd left her the bed and laid himself down on the floor, leaving her awake most the night, wondering if and when he would climb in the bed with her. He never did.
Last night they'd set up camp a little ways away from the other two men they were riding with. Edward said they were halfway to wherever they were going. He'd laid out his bedroll for her and curled up against a stump himself.
Yes, some part of her was grateful. The pain of marital relations, with a stranger no less, wasn't something she was eager to experience again. But she was his wife. She still fretted that he found her displeasing, though he'd explained over and over again he should never have taken advantage of her, and he would make a lousy husband.
But he was the only husband she was to have.
So that morning, when she woke to hands roaming her body, her heart first skipped a beat, and she tensed. Then she felt a hint of relief because, though he'd promised he would figure out how to take care of her, Bella feared being discarded.
Just as quickly though, her fear increased twofold.
His hands were rough. Too rough. Squeezing. Hard enough to bruise.
And there were too many hands.
Bella's eyes snapped open and she screamed when she found herself facing not her husband, but one of the other men - James.
His eyes were cold. Malicious. Lascivious and predatory.
And the other one, the large one - Felix - whose leers had unnerved her, was behind her.
Bella screamed. James clamped his hand hard over her mouth.
"Quiet now, little lady. No need for all that noise. We ain't even touched you yet. Really." He gave her ass a hard squeeze.
She shook her head loose. "Please. My husband-"
"Your husband is used to sharing his conquests with us. Well, it wouldn't be the first time anyway." Felix's raucous laugh in her ear made Bella shudder. "Quit yer wiggling." He hitched his leg up around hers, stilling her kicking legs as best he could.
"You want to please your dear husband, don't ya?" James asked.
They were pawing at her. They wouldn't let her loose. She was fighting, pleading, hollering, but it wasn't getting her anywhere. When James tried to kiss her, she bit his lip. He yelled and raised his hand to hit her. Bella squeezed her eyes shut, but the blow never came.
"What in all hell do you think you're doing! Come away from her!"
Bella managed to lift her head, finding Edward's normally pensive face twisted in fury. He was stalking quickly toward them, and as he got there, he bodily hauled Felix back, throwing him away from her with a strength that had her stunned.
"We all did the job, we all get a piece," James growled when Edward went back for him.
That didn't stop Edward from punching him square in the jaw.
When their weight was gone from her, Bella skittered backward into a sitting position. It took her a few seconds to get her wits about her, but then she was horrified.
The men - James equal in size and Felix much larger - were grappling with her husband. There were two of them and only one of him.
Just as she had gotten to the point where she wanted to throw herself between them, Felix managed to get Edward's arms locked behind his back.
"Just what is your problem?" the larger man growled.
"My issue?" Edward tried to wrest himself out of Felix's iron grip. "It was me she was promised to, not you. She is mine and mine alone, and you will not touch her."
"She liked it. Calm down," James sneered.
"Yeah, I'm sure that's why she was carrying on. Let go of me."
Felix did, and Edward stumbled forward, his hand on the gun at his belt. He whirled on both of them. "You listen here. You come near my wife, my wife, again, and I will end you."
The other two men just laughed. "Ah, Eddie. We were only funin'."
"Get out of my sight, and stay away from my wife."
"'Spect it's understandable he wants her to himself for a spell, sweet young thing," Felix allowed. His eyes were roaming her body again. Bella turned her head away, shuddering with revulsion. "Come on, James. He'll tire of her soon enough."
They ambled over to their own camp.
Edward blew out a breath before he turned to her. His expression was contrite, and he held his hands out imploringly. "Are you hurt, chickabiddy?"
Bella opened her mouth to answer that she was intact but only a little mewling sound came out. She didn't realize until that moment that she was shaking too hard to answer, her hands clutching her torn clothes shut.
"Whoa now. Hush. It's alright." Edward was at her side in an instant. He wrapped his arms around her.
"Ah, sweet thing. I told you I'd make a lousy husband. I don't know what I was thinking, leaving you alone even for a heartbeat." He rocked her, stroking her hair and her back.
When she had calmed somewhat, he took her face in his hands. Bella was ashamed, both because those men had touched her like that and because she'd been blubbering like a baby. She tried to avert her eyes, but he called her name so soft, she couldn't help but look up.
"I promise you, Bella. I promise no one is ever going to hurt you again. Hear?"
She shook her head minutely.
With a sigh, he kissed her forehead with the tenderest of motions. "Not even me, chickabiddy. Not even me."
A/N: Thanks to jfka06, shug, and barburella
And thanks to all of you for your interest in this story!