A/N: Omai. We are not pleased with Edward. Not at all.

He told himself not to look, to just get on out of there without looking back, but Edward was nothing if not stupid about such things. He looked back, of course, just as Bella came into view.

She were even bigger in the belly than before, which was a little confounding to Edward. How she could stand up straight when that bulge was near about as big as she was, he didn't quite know.

How he ached then. There were nothing more in the world he wanted than to ride on back to her, take her in his arms and put his hand to where their child kicked. He wanted so much to take both of them and never have to let them go.

But they both deserved better than the scum he was.

If nothing else, maybe this job would provide enough for him to get a piece of land fair and square with no help from Carlisle.

Maybe he could become the man his wife and baby deserved.

Coming back to her with nothing to offer, particularly when he knew damn well he'd hurt her a month before, was just not acceptable.

Still, it tugged at his conscience - what he was about to do. He was confident enough in his own planning that he wasn't too worried they'd get caught, but if they did...

Well, it'd be his neck on the line, his ass the law wanted in a sling. It wasn't the same as being some hired hand weren't important enough to waste a bullet on.

When he returned to James and Felix he was even more withdrawn than he'd been. So withdrawn, he almost missed what they were talking on.

"What we do is, we leave 'em sleeping in camp," James was saying. "One of us takes the first look out, only soon as they drift off, we have the law on their tail. The reward is more than their take anyhow."

"What are you two on about?" Edward asked, wary.

An eager look on his face, James waved him over. "See this?" he smoothed out a paper - what appeared to be a wanted poster with Paul Black's likeness on it. "It's just too easy. We do this job - then we turn them in and collect the reward money."

Edward stared and blinked. "Have you lost your damn mind?! You don't turn on a brother."

James and Felix both looked disgusted. "Since when are the half-breeds our brothers?" Felix asked.

"Damn lucky we put up with them this long," James concurred, punctuating his thought with a shot into the nearby spittoon. "Filthy bastards."

Edward balked. "Them filthy bastards kept us from starving last winter." Jobs had been scarce. The Black brothers had shared a bit of work - honest work - that had kept them all fed. "Anyway, it's a stupid plan. They'd just turn you in over the job."

"And who's gonna believe 'em? Huh? Who's gonna believe a couple of filthy Indians over us?" James scoffed and leaned over the table. "What's your problem, anyhow?"

"Doesn't sit well with me is all - setting up men we work with to be betrayed."

"That a fact? What do you plan on doing about it? Christ, you sound more like a woman each day. I'm beginning to believe that little wife of yours traded your pecker for her cunny."

Edward bristled but took a deep breath before he could react to that. "Well, mayhap it's time I be getting on my own way. It's obvious I-"

"You ain't going anywhere," James snarled, his face twisting with sudden rage.

"You got what you needed out of me," Edward argued. "You said yourself you can't stand my moaning and wailing anymore than I enjoyed your company of late."

The two men stared at each other for a moment, James's eyes dangerous. "You so eager to get back to your brother's ranch, maybe I should go check it out," he suggested slowly. "Maybe I should take me a little time to get to know your missus a little better."

"You sonuvabitch," Edward growled, standing, fully intending on flying at James.

The other man had his gun drawn and pointed to the middle of Edward's forehead. "You think before you act now, boy," he said calmly. "You think good and hard. You just remember: I've been ten times the brother to you than your blood when you ain't even deserved it." He lowered his gun. "You think on what you want to do."

~0~

It wasn't as though Edward didn't know what James was capable of.

The man was the jealous type, pure and simple. Once he possessed something, he didn't like other people playing with it. Back when Edward had first joined up, James rode with a man named Laurent. He were a wishy-washy sort whose loyalties could be bought.

Laurent was currently six feet under somewhere in the desert.

And it was probably worse because besides seeing Edward as his, he saw him as valuable. Edward had a mind and eye for detail. It'd kept them out of trouble more than once, and it was exactly why James had needed Edward to be all in for this job they were set to pull. James was a wicked clever man but only when it came to people - not planning.

Add to that the insinuation James had made, the not so veiled threat against Bella that Edward knew better to dismiss, and Edward had himself a rather large quandary.

As he stared up at the stars that night, aching for his wife and his place in her bed, it occurred to Edward that he had to be the biggest idiot known to mankind.

Here he had told himself for too long he had some tie to James, some allegiance. It was true James had helped him when Carlisle hadn't, but that didn't make him trustworthy.

And he knew it, in his heart of hearts.

James had laid hands on his wife - his young wife who was shouting and pleading for him to stop.

He shoulda put a bullet between both their eyes - him and Felix - right then and there 'stead of excusing their behavior. Sure, wouldn't have been the first time they shared a woman, but them women had always been the willing sort.

His wife, what decency he had left, even the Black Brothers... What had James not set out to destroy?

All this time he'd been telling himself he belonged here - down in the dirt with the snakes rather than at home with his family. Even before Bella, he'd told himself his place was with James. There was acceptance there at least, some loyalty.

But James's only loyalty was to himself.

And though Edward had done bad things, James was just plain bad.

How in the hell he was going to get himself out of this mess, Edward didn't rightly know.

Edward closed his eyes and thought of Bella. He swore on his own life he'd been trying to do the right thing by her. What that was seemed to change directly.

But then, hadn't she told him exactly what she wanted?

She wanted him by her side - foolish little thing she were.

And hadn't Esme and Carlisle both told him it was where he should be? He had to trust his brother on some level, else he wouldn't have run Bella to him in the first place.

That as another point suddenly clear as crystal. Edward had always had some allegiance to James, but the blond man had absolutely no allegiance but to his own cause. If it suited him, he'd trade Edward's life away in a heartbeat.

Carlisle, on the other hand, had always been steadfast. Though he disapproved of Edward's lifestyle, never once had he closed his doors. Yes, once upon a lifetime ago, he'd broken the worst promise a big brother could break, but he'd done nothing but ask Edward for the chance to make it up to him since then.

And he'd taken care of that which Edward held most precious: his wife and baby.

"You damned coward," Edward whispered out loud.

He realized just then what terrified him so much. He'd followed James when his life was empty and devoid of meaning, when there was no such thing as a home for his worn out heart.

Of late, his heart had warmed and begun to beat again, stoked to life by a sweet little girl's innocent kisses and consistent love.

She loved him true, better or worse.

And good God almighty, how he loved her. His love for her was as big as the sky that filled his view.

It scared him to death.

It sent him running, sure he was undeserving.

And now that he'd heard the call beckoning him home, telling him it might not be too late.

"I'm coming home, chickabiddy," he swore to the night. "I swear I'm coming home to you somehow."

~0~

Thing was, Edward was well aware a man only got so many chances. There came a point when a mess made couldn't be undone.

So as Edward pressed on into the very blackest of nights, he didn't ask for mercy. He didn't ask for his dream - to be able to go and be the man his wife and baby deserved. He didn't ask to be saved.

All he asked, all he begged the Lord he'd long ago stopped talking to, was the chance to see her one more time before he took his predestined place in hell.

The thick blood coming out from where he held his hand over his chest was seeping through the leather of his gloves now, Edward reflected numbly. It made his hands warm when the rest of him was cold, so very cold. Breathing was a trial. There was something wrong with his lungs.

Didn't look like he was going to get his wish.

Course that weren't no one's fault but his own.

The morning before the job - the train heist they'd been lining up for going on months now - Edward had sneaked off early to meet with the Black Brothers on his own. Might not have been the best of plans, in retrospect.

He didn't know what he expected. The Black Brothers weren't known for their calm dispositions.

Suffice to say, the train job never happened seeing as a gunfight erupted before they could even board.

Jacob Black, his gun held out, his eyes trained on James, and told Edward steadily that his quarrel weren't with him and he could get on outta there.

Edward didn't have to be told twice. He knew Jacob had better aim than James. He ran.

He shoulda stayed to see the blond man fall.

Because he didn't, he didn't know that James survived that gun fight, though only barely. He didn't know it until a bullet whizzed right by his ear.

A glance over his shoulder told him what he already knew: James was on his tail, and he was livid.

Drawing his pistol, Edward shot behind his back, hunkering down low, urging the horse faster.

It was James's third bullet that caught him as he twisted. The force of it stole his breath, and Edward went tumbling from his horse onto the ground.

The pain was incredible, but Edward knew he only had one chance. He lay face down in the dirt just waiting as James trotted up. He bid his time, clenching his jaw to keep from howling when James kicked him square in the gut, trying to get a response out of him.

"Stupid sonova bitch," James muttered disgustedly. "Think you can run out on a fight. You think you can run out on me. That oughta learn you."

Edward felt the heat of James's stinking breath on his ear as the other man leaned over him. "When I see that pretty little whore of yours, I'll send her your regards from hell."

With a cry that was all fury, Edward turned, his pistol drawn and ready, and shot James through the shoulder - a wound that would cost him his arm. Still, James came after him, and Edward shot again, this time right at his heart. The other man fell in a heap over Edward's legs, dead.

From what Edward could see after he'd got out from under James's body, the blond man was dead where he stood no matter what Edward would have done. There was a bullet hole right through his gut that would have bled him out sooner than later.

Going after Edward was his last act.

Now, getting home to his wife, to see her one more time before he closed his eyes forever would be Edward's.

Please, he begged the powers that were.

The pain that wracked his body as he jostled in the saddle was more than he could stand. He was weak and growing weaker still.

He recalled every image he could conjure of Bella.

Her wide eyes, so scared yet so brave the morning he first woke up beside her.

Her little body pressed up against his as they rode, her arms about his waist, her voice telling stories in his ear.

The hardness of her belly as she grew their baby and the way she smiled at him, her hand pressed over his to her skin.

The softness of her body, the perfect way she fit with him and how nothing had felt better than being inside her.

Her smiles - even the wry ones when she was a little exasperated with him.

Her sweet kisses.

Each fall of the horse's hooves seemed to seemed to speak her name at a fervent pace. Bell-a, Bell-a, Bell-a.

He was so, so tired, but that tattoo kept his eyes open until he saw his brother's house on the horizon. He wanted so much to call for her, but he hadn't the strength.

It was Emmett who saw him first. Emmett and his little blond haired friend who saw him first. They started calling for Carlisle.

"No. Bella," Edward rasped. It was too late. He wanted his wife. He just wanted to see her one last time. Tell her he loved her. Tell her he was sorry.

But it was Carlisle who emerged from the house, who raced forward just in time to catch Edward as he swayed and fell from his horse.

"Bella," Edward begged in a whisper, trying to get up again, trying to get to her.

"Edward, you gotta lay back." Carlisle pushed him back down to the ground. "Let me look at you, son. Let me help you."

Edward groaned, shaking his head, fighting the blackness that was encroaching around his vision. His time was up. Already his eyelids were too heavy. It was all he could do to force them open when they tried to shut.

Then he heard her call his name.

He thought at first he imagined it, but when he rolled his head, she was standing in the doorway. The heaviness around his heart lifted in his relief, and Edward smiled, drinking her in for just a moment. He had just enough time to focus on her pretty face - so wrought with worry when she saw him - and the little bundle in her arms before his vision blurred and his head lolled.

But before the blackness took him, he heard her desperate plea. "Stay with us, Edward. We need you. I need you."

~0~

Bella rocked gently, stroking her tiny son's cheek and reveling in the little sounds he made - grunts and whines - as he suckled. He was her light, this little boy.

When he was fed and content he fell right back asleep, curled into the warmth of her body. Bella smiled, rocking him and humming lightly. He made the tiniest sighs and snoring noises when he slept.

Bella was smitten.

She was interrupted when a groan too deep to have come from such a little baby sounded nearby.

Sure enough, Edward was coming awake, his long eyelashes fluttering as he blinked. His breath was sharp, his tone filled with pain as he groaned again.

"Whoa now. Hold on. Be still just a minute," she warned, quickly settling the baby in the crib at her feet. "Hold on," she called again before leaning over Edward's bedside.

He looked disoriented. His eyes darted around, heavy with pain. Bella's heart twisted. She stroked his cheek and called his name.

When his eyes settled on her, he seemed to calm considerably. He swallowed and smacked his dry, cracked lips.

Bella eased her arm around the back of his neck, helping him hold his head up and putting a dipper of water to his lips. "Slowly," she said gently as he began to drink. He coughed a little and winced, laying back against the pillow, his face devoid of color and slicked with sweat.

"It's okay. You're alright now," she soothed, stroking his cheek.

For minutes on end, he just breathed, staring up at her, his eyes roaming as if trying to memorize her face. Bella stared down at him, and it began to hit her. Hard. She pressed her lips together, remembering the last few days, remembering seeing him lying on the ground pale as death and covered in blood.

She remembered Carlisle's gentle voice as she watched over him in this very bed that first night, his hand on her shoulder.

"I done what I can. He's gotta fight to survive. It's up to him and God now."

All that first night she watched Edward's chest rise and fall, terrified the movement would stop. As it was, he was struggling to breathe.

She watched Edward's eyebrows furrow, bunching together at the center as he looked up at her. Her tears spilled over, and she turned her head away quickly to control herself.

He swallowed hard. "Don't cry," he whispered in a barely there voice. He breathed in, and she knew he must be in a lot of pain, but he talked through it.

"You gave me a scare," she said, sniffling hard and turning her face back to him.

His movements were slow and weak, but he managed to lift his trembling hand to brush her cheek. She caught his hand before it fell and pressed it up against her skin, closing her eyes briefly to take in the feeling.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered.

At that she straightened and looked at him, her eyes hard, flashing with anger now that she'd had her moment of relief. "Well, that's an apt word for what you are to be sure."

He blinked up at her.

"You listen to me, Edward Cullen, and you listen good." She cupped his face in her hands, her movements tender though her voice was harsh. "This is what's going to happen. You're going to get better. You're going to do exactly what Carlisle tells you to do. I'm going to help you get back on your feet and then..."

The expression in his eyes was so utterly terrified - and yet resigned - all the anger left Bella in a rush.

He expected her to tell him to get the hell away - she could read it in that look.

Instead, she lowered her head, kissing him soft and gentle. His lips were dry under hers but they moved, and he kissed her back.

She was crying when she lifted her head again. She sniffled, wiping away her tears and looked on him in seriousness. "And then you will never leave me again. You understand me?"

A tiny smile played at his lips. He sought her hand and squeezed, though there was not a lot of strength behind the motion. "Yes, ma'am. My hand to God, I will never leave you again," he vowed on a breath.

She smiled, wrapping her hand around his, bringing his fingers to her lips. "Good." She took a deep breath. "Then you can meet your boy."

His eyes went wide.

Bella stooped, carefully gathering her baby up into her arms. He fussed a little but settled quickly.

She debated a moment but then climbed up into the bed with Edward, laying alongside him, taking care not to jostle him. His eyes never left the blanket wrapped bundle and though it obviously pained him, he rolled slightly so he could get a better look, his eyes full of wonder.

Bella felt her heart fill up. She'd been so brokenhearted, holding her baby, fearing he'd grow up without a father, wondering if Edward could ever love the little creature the way she loved him.

But he did. She could see it in his eyes how much he loved their baby.

Her voice shook and she sniffled as she pushed the blanket down from around the boy's face so he could get a better look. "This is your Papa." She said softly to the child. "Can you open your eyes for your Papa?"

The baby was agreeable. He opened his eyes and yawned, making a little cooing noise as he did.

"My God," Edward mumbled.

"I named him Jace," Bella said, nestling her head near his, her hand on Jace's belly. "He's ten whole days old today."

Edward rested his hand over hers on their son. His smile, though tired, was radiant, and there were tears in his eyes. "Hello, Jace. Jace Cullen." It took some effort, but he kissed the baby's forehead and then hers. "I love you," he said to them both.

It was all the energy he had, and though he fought it, fought to keep his eyes open, but he was losing his battle quickly.

"Thank you for fighting," Bella whispered to him, ever so grateful he was there and alive and he wanted her and the baby both.

"I heard you," he mumbled as his eyes drooped. Sleep was encroaching. Fast. "I followed your voice when I heard you calling me home."

A/N:I don't know if I should thank barburella and jfka06... I left them alone in my docs and they wrote me an Edward/James lemon. Ew. EWWWWW.

But thank you to Ginny for reading through this even whilst I was arguing with her. Is it wrong of me to make her work even though this is technically her bday present?! Yeesh.

I may have neglected to mention this was the last chapter...

But there will be an epilogue.

SO. What do we think?